To think of getting on in this world without Interest, is ridiculous. Place and Promotion are not for Fitness or Worthiness, but to serve particular Interests, private or public; and yet a number of very simple persons, who have as large a green streak in them as a sage cheese, without its sageness, are continually wondering that virtue and talent do not get all the "good things" of a vicious community. Punch forbid! Is not virtue declared to be its own reward? and as to talent,—let a man be content with that. It is a positive monopoly to covet wit and money too.

To take care of our Interest is the great law of Nature, and is universally followed. Every one for himself, and Fate for us all, as the donkey said when he danced among the chickens, is as profound a maxim as the gnothi seauton of Plato. "Take care of yourself" is of more importance than "Know thyself." To take care of oneself is a science which comes home to every man's business and bosom. It is "wisdom" identified with our personal character. It is philosophy turned to account. It is morality above par. It is a religion in which "every man may be his own parson," find his Bible in his ledger, his Creed in the "stock-list," his Psalter in the tariff, his Book of Common Prayer in the railway and canal shares, his Temple in the Royal Exchange, his Altar in his counter, and his God in his money.

Principle, or Principal, is an old term used by our forefathers in "money matters" and commercial transactions, but is now obsolete. It formerly represented capital, and raised the British merchant in the scale of nations; but it is now a maxim of trade to discard Principle as not being consistent with Interest. It is paradoxically Capital to take care of our Interest, but it seldom requires any Principle to do so.

"The want of money is the root of all evil." Such is the new reading, according to the translation of a new sect called the Tinites. In the orthodox translation, the love of money was unfortunately rendered. To be without money is worse than being without brains—for this reason we should oppose all dangerous innovations, which in any way have a tendency to disturb the "balance of Capital." Right is not to usurp might. We are not, for the sake of Quixotic experiment, to invade the interests of the landed proprietor by an Anti-Corn Law movement, nor the vested right of doing wrong, which the various close corporations of law, physic, and trade, &c. have so long maintained, making England the envy of the world and the glory of surrounding nations.

Interest, therefore, teaches us to interest ourselves for our own interests, and to keep them continually in view in all our transactions. When a man loses sight of his own interests he is morally blind; he must, therefore, according to this rule, walk with his eyes open, and be wide awake to every move—keep the weather-eye open, and not have one eye up the chimney and the other in the pot, but both stedfastly fixed on the main chance.

Interest teaches us also to swear to anything and admit nothing; to prove, by the devil's rhetoric, that black is white and white black; to tamper, to shuffle, to misrepresent, to falsify, to scheme, to undervalue, to entangle, to evade, to delay, to humbug, and to cheat in virtue of the monied interest.

In the days of our forefathers, we had a most excellent compendium of Faith and Duty, called the "Church Catechism," which taught us not only to "fear God and honour the King," but to be "true and just in all our dealings." The "fast and loose," "free and easy" system of "liberality," shuts the Creed and the Catechism out of half our schools; and worldliness teaches in its place the creed of Mammon. Instead of being taught to worship God, we are taught to worship money. Instead of honouring the Queen, we are told to bow down to the "golden image" which trade has set up; we no longer consult our conscience, but our pocket; for principle we read interest—for piety, pelf.

In illustration of this, the following "cut and dry" "'Change Catechism," which fell from the pocket of a Latitudinarian bill-broker, is subjoined, as affording the best examples of the Rule of Interest.

QUESTION AND ANSWER.

• Q. My good child, tell me what you believe in?
• A. Money.
• Q. What is money?
• A. The all-ruling and all-powerful; the fountain of worldly wisdom and power.
• Q. How is it worshipped?
• A. By the daily sacrifice of time, talents, health, and virtue.
• Q. What is this worship called?
• A. Mammon.
• Q. What is its chief rite?
• A. Gammon.
• Q. What is the chief ceremony?
• A. Deceit.
• Q. What are its principal festivals?
• A. Dividend-days.
• Q. What are its days of penance or fasting?
• A. Days when no business is done.
• Q. What are its feast-days?
• A. City "Feeds."
• Q. Where are its principal temples?
• A. The Treasury, the 'Change, and the Bank.
• Q. Who are its priests?
• A. Whitewashed "black-legs."[3]
• Q. What is virtue?
• A. A name.
• Q. What is Orthodoxy?
• A. Cash.
• Q. What is Heterodoxy?
• A. Bills.
• Q. What is Heresy?
• A. "No effects."
• Q. What is Schism?
• A. "Call again to-morrow."
• Q. What is Respectability?
• A. Plenty of trade.
• Q. What is Roguery?
• A. Being in debt.
• Q. What is Vice?
• A. Misfortune.
• Q. What is the greatest sin?
• A. Poverty.
• Q. What is the principal virtue?
• A. Prompt payment.
• Q. What are the principal blessings?
• A. Loans.
• Q. What should be our continual desire?
• A. Good luck.
• Q. For what our rejoicings?
• A. Success.
• Q. What is Morality?
• A. Cent. per cent. profits.
• Q. What is the Origin of evil?
• A. A returned bill.
• Q. What is the greatest evil?
• A. Bankruptcy.
• Q. What is our chance of escape from perdition?
• A. "Taking the benefit."
• Q. What is the Devil?
• A. To be without money.
• Q. Who are the chosen children of Mammon?
• A. Those born with a "silver spoon."
• Q. What is the true definition of good?
• A. Solvency.
• Q. What is the true definition of bad?
• A. Insolvency.
• Q. What is your duty to your friend?
• A. To cheat him.
• Q. What to the stranger?
• A. To "take him in."
• Q. What is Experimental Philosophy?
• A. Going a borrowing.
• Q. What is practical philosophy?
• A. Being refused.
• Q. What should be your chief consolation in old age?
• A. Dying rich.
• Q. What is the chief maxim of this creed?
• A. Doing every one, but suffering no one to do you.