The word Fractions is from the Latin "Fractus," broken. A Fraction is therefore a part or broken piece. A broken head is a fraction; a broken heart is a fraction; a bankrupt is a fraction—he is broken up; yet a horse is not a fraction, although he may be broken in—but his rider may have a broken neck, which is called an irreducible fraction. Speaking generally, therefore, a fraction may be considered as a "Tarnation Smashification." Fractional Signs FRACTIONAL SIGNS. Fractions are of two kinds, Vulgar and Decimal. Vulgar fractions are used for common purposes, and examples may be seen in the plebeian part of our commonalty, such as coal-heavers, costermongers, sheriff's-officers, bailiffs, bagmen, cabmen, excisemen, lord-mayors, lady-mayoresses, carpet-knights and auctioneers. Vulgar fractions may be known by the way in which they express themselves. They are more expressive than decimals; and the words, Go it, Jerry—Jim along Josey—What are you at?—What are you arter?—Variety—Don't you wish you may get it?—All round my hat—Over the left—All right, and no mistake—Flare up, my covies—I should think so—with those inexpressible expletives which add so much to the force and elegance of our language, may be taken as specimens of Fractions. BREAKING UP NO HOLIDAY,
OR A
SALE BY AUCTION, IN BLANK VERSE.
By Doubledust Puffitoff, Esq. An Ancient and Modern Mug "AN ANCIENT AND MODERN MUG." My Lords! Ladies and Gentlemen. Cognoscenti, virtuosi, literati, "Muffs," "mulls," and Flukins De Grati, F.R.S.'s, F.A.S.'s and A.S.S.'s, Curiosities of curiosity, Cokletops and Old-bucks in variety, "Court scum," "nobs," beaks, and humdrum, And all that's rare and rum, Ad infinitum, Book-worms, bibliophilists, and antiquarians, Soirarians, and Belle-Lettre-arians, Single men of fashion, De Horsa, De Calfa, De Goosa, De Donka, De la De Palma de ston a, Male Prima Donna. Toad-eaters, lickspittles and glozers, "Do nothings," "know nothings," and "dozers," "Tricksters," and "hucksters," and "snoozlers," Cozeners and bamboozlers, Fumblers and mumblers, Bunglers and stumblers, Pokers and jokers, Out and out "sticklers," And "very particulars;" Oglers, Bogglers, Apron danglers, And police "manglers," Bargain hunters—and grunters, Bran-new saints made out of old sinners, And young beginners, Old bucks, Lame ducks; "Curmudgeons," "flats," and "gudgeons," Come all that's fashionable, Femmes de Paradisiacal, Whimsical and lackadaisical, Languishing or sighing, Dreaming or dying, Harpies and beldames, dowagers and vidders, And be my bidders, "Black legs" and "blue stockings," walk up, walk up, And see What you shall see, A perfect unique Display of art, and a Luscious Natura, As I before said when I set you all agog, In this here seven-and-sixpenny catalogue. LOT I. Here, Ladies, and Gentlemen, is a lot, Being the earliest that must "go to pot." I do declare, 'Tis very rare, And mighty curious, And nothing spurious, Preserved from bye-gone ages, Embalmed in sacred pages, Of ancient poetry. Who'll bid, who'll buy? Be not shy, Bid high. Behold—the identical cupboard, Of old Mother Hubbard; The identical hat The little dog wore When nursing the cat; The identical pipe The little dog smoked When she brought him the tripe; The identical coffin That set the dog laughing, With these two are sorted, As "neat as imported." A brick of the corner Of little Jack Horner, Who eat of a Christmas pie; He put in his thumb And he pulled out "a plum," As you must do if you buy. LOT II. The next most splendid, recherchÉ and venerable, Spick and span old antique, ingenerable By modern authors or by modern art, A sui generis lot, not to be matched. By Lucifer himself not to be catched By an old song, as the last was— I speak poss. First is an original, aboriginal, Primary, first hand, virgin copy, Mouldy, musty, cobwebby, and ropy, Of Dean Swift's "Maw wallop," With notes by Mrs. Trollope, Which wraps the whole up So decently, it takes the soul up To the third heaven of ecstasy; To which is added, An Essay upon Jalap. Second, is the missal of old Nick, Richly illuminated with flames ad flamina, Fresh from "Blazes;" Its smell of brimstone is sublime; 'Tis dedicated to the Ranters And the Canters Of Exeter Hall in the dog days, Cum multis aliis ad gammona. Who'll bid for this whole lot? one thousand—two, Three, four, five, six,—say seven, and see what I will do. "Gone!" Doctor Lardner, I've knocked it down to you. LOT III. Now come the gems divine, Each gem a shrine, Whence men may fish up, And after dish up, Without a Bishop, A heavenly worship; And adore These relics before. First, is the vase de Barberino, The Helmet of Mambrino So renowned In all climes In which the cat was drowned; Don Quixote's spear, and shield, and armour, Lately worn by Alderman Harmer Against the "Times." Second, the sword of Jack the Giant Killer, Made o' th' siller Spent at the Ipswich election, Braving detection. Third, is the wishing cap of Fortunatus, Worn by all young ladies in their teens, That when they're married they may have the reins. Fourth, is the night cap of the Cock-lane ghost, When he fright'ned The enlight'ned Chartist host. Fifth, is a stone out of the wall, Of Pyramus and Thisbe, And a charmed echo of Nick Bottom's roar, Or louder snore Of Mr. Muntz, when he thinks Lord John a bore. Sixth, one of the seven-leagued boots, in which is Made the interminable of Cobden's speeches, Loose as the old coal-heaver Huntington's Heaven-born breeches. Seventh, the bottle of the bottle-conjurer, Into which Lord Mounteagle, to please himself, Can squeeze himself, When in some plan of plunder or of pelf He wants to ease himself. Eighth, is the toe nail of the Dragon of Wantley, Which Berkeley Grantley Used as a sort of scarifying razor Upon a Fraser. Ninth, is the dish of Corn Law furmitory, Into which Tom Thumb (Lord John) did jump when he Let in another Ministry. Tenth, a child's caul, a certain preservation From drowning, useful to the nation, In this great age of tea-to-tality, And used by Mr. Buckingham As an hydraulic ram, To keep him dry, When round the world to go he late did try. Eleventh, is a bottle of pigeon's milk, Soft as silk, Which Boreing to the "Factory" deputation sent, By way of reparation For the depredation Of sessions of misgovernment. Twelfth, is the story of a cock and bull, Edited by queer Joseph, and oft related to the house When full. Thirteenth, the eyelid of Homer, and the eye Identical and very certain, Of Betty Martin. And, lastly, now to end this, Billy Martin, Peter Parley, Prattle, Are three blue beans in a blown bladder. Rattle, bladder, rattle. Knocking down the Lot KNOCKING DOWN THE LOT.
Done by Interest DONE BY INTEREST.
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