A Merchant seeing him begging, took a fancy to him, conducts him to his House, and entertains him as his Servant.

One day as I was begging, more fervently then formerly, having gotten not one penny that day, so that I found a civil war between my Guts and Stomack, yet knew not how to salve up the difference; neither would they hearken to any thing but a Bill of Fare. In the midst of this combustion, a Tradesman of no mean quality, passing by, took a strong fancy to me, being extraordinarily pleased with the form of my face and body. He asked me, Whence I came? what my Parents were? and what I intended? I answered him with well contriv’d forgeries, that seemed to give him good satisfaction: liking well both my speech and understanding, he bid me follow him, which accordingly I did; having conducted me to his house, he presented me to his Wife, my intended Mistris, telling her his resolutions of receiving me into his service; at which she blest her self, saying, Prithee, Sweet-heart, from what Dunghil didst thou pick up this Shakerag, this Squire of the body? This thing drest up in sippits? This Scarecrow, what shall I call him? (for I am sure I had but few cloathes on, but what were rather fit to dung ground, then to be sent to the Paper-mill.) Said my Master, Rest yourself satisfied, since it is my pleasure, this shall be so: neither can I give you any reason for my fancy. Whereupon he commanded me to be stript, and well washed; in the mean time cloaths were provided for me, a suit of one of his Apprentices. A great Vessel like Cornelius his Tub, was filled with water to bath me, but so cunningly set by the Maids, (though privately) that they might see me all over naked. It was my good fortune to observe my Mistress standing in a private place on purpose to see me dismantled; and after I was washed, she commended the whiteness of my skin and well-proportioned limbs; and by the consequent, approv’d within her self of something else, for I was then a stubbed Lad. Being new clothed, and raised to this unexpected fortune, how strangely did this vain blast puff up my empty pate! However, I was resolved to carry my self discreetly, lest I should overthrow the state I was then in, not yet well settled. Wherefore I behaved myself very respectfully towards my Master, and served him as punctually as I could, endeavouring that my service should requite his kindness in as great measure as my abilities could perform.

My endeavour was not only to please my Master, but my Mistress too, even in the meanest services; so officious to her, that I was ready to perform the office of a Chamber-maid. The maid-servants I obliged also, by doing their duty, as making the fires, washing the Kitching, nimbly and willingly doing any thing they would have me; by which I so ingratiated my self among them, that I always had their good estimation among themselves, and good word to my Master and Mistress when occasion served. Very careful I was, not to report what I heard, lest I by that means, involv’d my self in the affairs of others, without advantage to my self. For by meddling in others matters, I should breed animosity among them, and reap just hatred to my self, when discovered to be the too too busie intelligencer. This I looked on as an undeniable maxime, That nothing more recommends a man, then a silent tongue, (unless necessity required the contrary) a fair complacential carriage, and a faithful heart. My Master in a humour would sometimes find fault with me, but then it was my chiefest care not to reply, knowing, that what should be alleadged as to my just vindication, would but aggravate his spirits being passionate, alwayes punctually performing what was commanded me. To try my fidelity, he would lay a sixpence on the Counter, or in the Window, as if it had been left there forgotten. I was wiser then to be caught so, and therefore would instantly carry him the money. One time sending me out to buy something, instead of a shilling he gave me among other money a piece of Gold; I took no notice of it then, but being gone a little way, I came running back out of breath to restore him the piece; this and the like made my Master stand amazed at my seeming honesty. A strange alteration, you will say; but all this was only to get a good esteem, whereby I might gain fast footing. What though I underwent a great deal of pains, and had my patience tried to the height? Yet I gain’d much in the end, had God given me grace rightly to use it, and the baseness of my nature not perswaded me to abuse it. So much credit I had gotten with my Master, by my civil behaviour, that he raised me gradatim, step by step. Being ignorant of Arithmetick; he caused a Master to come to his house to instruct me, which I soon apprehended, and by that means was capacitated to keep his accompts, which was the thing I aim’d at, intending thereby the prosecution of mine own ends, notwithstanding my pretended fidelity, and his real kindness to me undeserv’d: which puts me in mind of the conclusion of an Epitaph I have read on a Tomb, which the Master erected for the perpetual commemoration of his servants cordial respect and honesty.

Now to the intent I might compleat my conquest of his heart, I pretended my self an Independent, not omitting any opportunity of going to their meetings; and upon all occasions would rail against Steeple-houses (as we called them) and tear the Bishops holland sleaves to pieces, calling them the impure rags of the Babylonish Whores Smock, &c. I would pray mornings and evenings so loud, so late, and so early, that my neighbours could hardly sleep for me, much less those of our own Family. Notwithstanding all this piety, not a day past wherein I cheated not my Master. Thus did I delude his eyes with pretended sanctity, yet concluded with the Poet,

How much did I silly fool deceive my self, thinking my self secure, because no mortal eye saw me. Be not thus cheated as I was, for assure your self there is no darkness so thick and obscure, which the All-over-seeing and Eternal piercing eye cannot penetrate——

A passage remarkable in Erasmus I read to this purpose concerning a young Gentleman, whom a wanton Lady tempted, who used this expression as his last and best Refuge. Art not thou ashamed to do that in the sight of thy Maker, and the Holy Angels, which thou art ashamed to do in the sight of men. We are afraid of disgrace with men, not caring for the Grace of God.