Two days having elapsed, on the third of February, without any official intercourse with the shore, the junior deputy again appeared; his colleague still remaining on shore on account of sickness. The professed object of his coming, was a mere visit; the real one, to propose another word to be used at the commencement of the President’s letter, if the words previously suggested would not be adopted. This word was kin, implying reverence, solemnity, and veneration, &c., not differing materially from that which had before been proposed: it was also rejected. The expression as it already stood, contained, he was told, nothing disrespectful, and was a plain and simple version of the original. He was determined, however, that without the adoption of some derogatory expression, the letter should not be sent on to HuÉ; so that the business of the mission remained at a stand.

The deputy now shifted his position, as indeed none of his fellows scrupled to do when needful, by adopting a false assertion: “While on shore,” he said, “every word was assented to; why is the use of these words now refused?” This shows the convenient deafness or forgetfulness, which these little-minded politicians can assume, when occasion requires; for it had been specifically stated, that not a word would be altered without farther consideration, and the permission of the envoy.

Thus baffled, he said that the obstinate determination of the envoy left him at a loss in what way to act.

“There is but one way,” he was answered, “in which you can act. Take the President’s letter without these alterations. If you insist on them, the business of the mission is at an end. The vessel will, however, stay the time already mentioned, till she is quite ready to leave. But you must not suppose she can wait to receive farther refusals to fresh applications for permission to go to HuÉ.”

When leaving, it was carelessly said to him, that as he had said American vessels were at liberty to trade, he should give a copy of the regulations of commerce. This he refused.

The next day, some similar questions respecting commerce, which were asked during a short complimentary visit, were received uncourteously, and answered by the deputies with professions of ignorance.

February seventh. Eight days having now elapsed since the return of the deputies to HuÉ, and nothing having been heard relative to the mission, the two remaining deputies were informed, that the vessel would go to sea on the morrow; and Mr. Morrison was about to pay a farewell visit, and urge the receipt of payment for the refreshments, at different times sent off, when the younger deputy came on board.

After a few compliments had passed, he was told, that if the wind were favourable, the ship would go to sea in the morning. He was asked, also, if there was any news.

The native Christian, Miguel, before interpreting what was said, asked if the ship would not wait till something was heard from HuÉ. But the deputy, who was more cautious of expressing his feelings, simply replied, that he had no news. Had he heard from HuÉ, he would immediately have come to report the news. He requested that no offence would be taken, nor any unpleasant feeling be entertained, on account of the manner in which the mission left; as the failure was entirely owing to the difference of custom in the two countries. He hoped that all unfriendliness would be dismissed, and that American vessels would frequent the Cochin-Chinese harbours, as much as if the mission had succeeded.

In reply to what he said respecting the difference of customs, he was told, that it could not be the custom of the country to exact professions of inferiority from other countries, as the minister had endeavoured to do in the present instance. The emperor, he said, would have used the same phraseology, as that proposed to be used in the letter, if addressing, by his envoy, the President of the United States. This, he was told, would not be desired in the United States; and, on the contrary, would only be subject to ridicule. He replied: “Though you might not require it, our customs would!” It was rejoined: “Since you would adhere to your own customs, if on a mission to the United States, it stands to reason that the envoy of the United States should adhere to his customs here.”

He now shifted his ground, and, while admitting that the expression proposed was a strong one, maintained, nevertheless, that it was not indicative of inferiority. Its use, by inferiors in addressing their superiors, was pointed out to him; and he was asked, why, as the word first used was far from disrespectful, he should wish it to be changed? being, at the same time, again assured, that the words he had suggested, should not be adopted. “If you have so determined,” he rejoined, “I cannot receive this letter. But though the mission fail, that will not prevent your vessels coming to trade.”

“The trade,” it was replied, “is on so bad a footing, the regulations being unknown, and the government-charges and duties unascertained, that vessels cannot come here.”

“All nations that come here,” he answered, “for instance, the English and French, are on the same footing with you. They do not inquire about the laws; and none dare extort from them more than the regular charges.”

“This,” he was told, “is not true; for the Chinese are on a different footing, being able to go to many places where the English and French cannot go. England and France have endeavoured to form treaties, but without success. We know the regulations of the English and French trade, but do not know any for the American trade: hence our mission.”

Being thus driven from one untenable position to another, he at length pleaded ignorance. Admitting the fact, that the Chinese are allowed to trade in Tonquin and other places, he however knew only the regulations of HuÉ and Turan, and knew nothing of the laws in other places.

“The mission,” it was answered, “is not sent to you, but to the emperor. He knows what the regulations are in every place.”

“The minister,” he replied, “would know all, if the letter were sent to HuÉ: but without the change of phraseology already pointed out, it could not be sent. The envoys of Burmah and Siam have used the same expressions as those proposed to you.”

“This,” he was answered, “can be of no avail with the envoy of the United States. If the envoys of Burmah and Siam have assented, either ignorantly or with full knowledge, to adopt expressions of a servile nature, that can have no influence on this mission.”

“Without the letter,” repeated the deputy, “the minister cannot report to the emperor.”

Envoy. “If he will, he can.”

Dep. “As I have not received any notice from HuÉ, I cannot say what he has done.”

Envoy. “Eight days have elapsed since the two deputies have returned to the capital.”

Dep. “Only five days have elapsed since your last letter to the minister was shown us.”

The deputy was now requested to receive payment for the refreshments sent to the envoy and the ship, as it was unpleasant to accept any thing in the form of presents, the envoy not having obtained the objects of his mission. He was urged not to refuse payment, and assured that the envoy was sorry he was obliged to leave, without having brought about a friendly intercourse between the two nations. He refused, however, all payment as strenuously as it was urged upon him. The things, he said, were mere trifles, and he could not accept any thing for them. Nor in this did he say wrong; for they probably cost the government very much less than their real value, small as that was.

Before leaving, the deputy drank the health of the President; and the health of the emperor of Cochin-China was drunk in return. He then took leave, wishing us health and a pleasant voyage, and a speedy return. He was thanked and told that he must not expect to see us again.

The next morning, the ship got under weigh; and though all day slowly beating out of the harbour, nothing more was seen of the Cochin-Chinese.

During the discussion with the Mandarins relative to the letter which was to be written to the minister, I refused to consider him in any other light than my equal in rank, as they were so strongly disposed to exalt him, and debase me if possible. The deputies expressed some surprise at this observation, and demanded upon what ground I claimed an equality with them; they were answered, as the representative of an independent power. They then asked what were my titles; if they were of as much importance as the minister’s, and if they were as numerous. They were told that there was no order of nobility in the United States, and so they had been previously informed; still they insisted that there must be something equivalent to it, and that, as I held an important office under the government, I should not be without titles of some sort. Finding the gentlemen were so extremely desirous that I should have an appendage to my name, and as they would not be satisfied with a denial, I at once concluded to humour them. I replied that I would comply with their wishes, and furnish them with the greatest abundance of titles. As they had been extremely unwilling to give the titles of the emperor or the minister, or their own, they probably concluded that I was actuated by the same motives as themselves in withholding mine, whatever they were. The gentlemen belonging to the ship who were in the cabin, looked very much astonished at this reply, wondering how I was to extricate myself from this seeming difficulty; but they were speedily relieved. The principal deputy having prepared his Chinese pencil and half a sheet of paper, sat down to write. I immediately observed to him, that it was necessary to commence with a whole sheet, at which he expressed some surprise, and said that the minister’s titles would not occupy one fourth of it. Having determined to give them, in the first place, the names of all the counties, and the two hundred and odd towns in my native state, as well as the mountains, rivers, and lakes, which would supply the places of titles, and then, if they were not satisfied, to proceed in the same manner with all the other states in the Union, which, by giving first the names of the several states, then the counties, towns, &c., would probably occupy them for some days, if they had had sufficient perseverance to proceed to the end of what I intended should be endless. I then commenced as follows, Mr. Morrison acting as interpreter and frequently translator:

Edmund Roberts, a special envoy from the United States, and a citizen of Portsmouth, in the state of New Hampshire. I then proceeded with the counties of Rockingham, Strafford, Merrimack, Hillsborough, Grafton, Cheshire, Sullivan, and Coos. When he had written thus far, which occupied much time, owing to the almost insurmountable difficulties in rendering them into Chinese, he expressed strong signs of impatience and asked if there were any more; I requested him not to be impatient, as I was very desirous that not one should be omitted, as it was a matter of primary importance in all governments where titles were used. He remarked, that already they were greater in number than were possessed by any prince of the empire. However, he dipped his pencil in the ink, and recommenced as follows: I first took Gosport, in the Isles of Shoals, being farthest at sea, and then went on with the towns on the seacoast; with Hampton and Seabrook, Rye and New Castle, and then Newington, Stratham, and Exeter. Having proceeded thus far, and finding difficulties succeeding difficulties, at every syllable and at every word, he laid down his pencil, seemingly exhausted, and asked if there were any more, as he had then filled a sheet of Chinese paper. I answered, he had scarcely made a commencement: at this he said it was unnecessary to record the rest; and that he never heard or read of any person possessing a like number. He complained of a headache and sickness, owing to the rolling of the ship. I then begged he would desist, for that time, and call on board as early as he could make it convenient on the following morning, for I was exceedingly anxious he should have them all; then there would be no hesitation in acknowledging that I was not presumptuous, when I stated that the prime minister could not be considered my superior in point of rank, as he did not possess so many titles. It was now very evident that he began to be alarmed at the extent of my titles, lest they should totally eclipse those of the minister, and that I might be desirous of ascending a step higher than his excellency. He replied that he was fully satisfied that I was every way equal to him in point of rank. I urged him to proceed, but without effect, for he refused very firmly, but politely, and therefore most reluctantly I was obliged to accede to his wishes.

The whole scene was certainly most ludicrous. Some of the gentlemen could with much difficulty restrain their risible faculties, while others walked out of the cabin, being utterly unable to refrain from laughter, while I kept a most imperturbable countenance until the whole matter was concluded. I renewed the attempt the next morning, when he came on board, but he looked quite aghast at the mere request, and thus ended this farcical scene.

It may be thought by those who are for submitting to every species of degradation, to gain commercial advantages, that I was unnecessarily fastidious in the course I adopted in the negotiation with Cochin-China; but when it is known that there is no end to the doctrine of submission with the ultra-Gangetic nations; and all past negotiations of European powers will fully confirm what I now state, that neither privileges, nor immunities, nor advantages of any kind, are to be gained by submission, condescension, conciliation, or by flattery, (they despise the former as a proof of weakness—the latter as arguing a want of spirit;) that threats and aggressions are neither justifiable nor necessary, a dignified, yet unassuming conduct, jealous of its own honour, open and disinterested, seeking its own advantage, but willing to promote that of others, will doubtless effect much with nations of this stamp and character, and must in the end be able to accomplish the object desired.

Previous to visiting Cochin-China, I had laid down certain rules of conduct, which I had resolved to adopt towards these people, as well as the Siamese. In the first place, I had determined to adhere most strictly to the truth, however detrimental it might be to the interest of our commerce at present, or however unpalatable it might be to either of the nations. I had further resolved, not to submit to any degrading ceremonies, by performing the Ko-tow, uncovering the feet, &c., &c. My answer to such requisitions would be: We do not come here to change the customs of your court with its own statesmen, but we come as independent people, for a short interview. Let your statesmen preserve their customs, and we will preserve ours. Still, it may be answered: You come to us, we do not go to you: my reply then would be: When you come to us, you shall be allowed your own customs, in the mode of presentation to the President. Reasoning with these people, must not be founded on the ground of lord and vassal, but reciprocity. National usages should be avoided as much as possible, and natural reason, common sense, the reciprocal rights of men, be taken as the foundation of intercourse. There is no end to the doctrine of submission to law, where every worthless justice of peace tells you with a bare-faced lie in his mouth, that his will and present declaration are the law of the land. Seeing the gross impositions practised, by apparently friendly nations, with other negotiators, I had further determined never to repose any confidence in their advice, but to let my own judgment be the guide of what was just and right. Furthermore, to be kind and courteous to all; but after some little formalities, to reveal as little to inferior officers as possible; and lastly, to use some state and show, as they are useful auxiliaries in making an impression upon the uncivilized mind.

I deem it best, here to remark, that in my negotiations with Asiatics, all apparent acknowledgments of inferiority, which precedes signatures to letters, as “your humble servant,” &c., are always construed literally, and of course have an injurious effect upon a conceited and arrogant people; and great nicety should be observed in preparing documents on parchment, to which should be attached a large seal, incased in a gold box, having the envelope of rich yellow silk or satin, or otherwise it will give offence.

To all outward appearance the country surrounding this noble bay is in a highly flourishing condition, but on a more close examination this beautiful vision is not realized. The inhabitants are without exception the most filthy people in the world. As soon as the boat touches the strand, out rush from their palm-leaf huts, men and women, and naked children and dogs, all having a mangy appearance; being covered with some scorbutic disease, the itch or small-pox, and frequently with white leprous spots. The teeth, even of the children who are seven or eight years old, are of a coal black, their lips and gums are deeply stained with chewing areca, &c., their faces are nasty, their hands unwashed, and their whole persons most offensive to the sight and smell; for the most part the comb has never touched the children’s heads, and a whole village may be seen scratching at the same time from head to foot. They are apparently brought up in utter idleness; not a school is to be found, and they are seen playing all day long at hide-and-go-seek under the boats, lounging among the palm-trees, or sleeping on the bare ground in the shade or sun, as they find it most convenient. The dress of the men and women is nearly the same, being a wide long shirt, buttoned generally on the right side, with a pair of short simple trousers, made of cotton. Those who are able, wear a turban of black crape, and every man who makes any pretensions to gentility, has a pair of reticules or broad-mouthed purses, in which he puts areca and tobacco: these are thrown over the shoulders, and are generally neatly made; some are wrought extensively in gold, some embroidered with silk; others are of plain silk or satin, and generally of their favourite colour, blue: those of an ordinary kind are worn about the waist, or carried in the hand. But the dress of nineteen twentieths of the inhabitants is merely a waist-cloth, which is kept in a most filthy condition.

In the course of a whole month, the period of our residence here, I have not seen a person bathe, although beaches abound every where: the Cochin-Chinese appear to have an utter aversion to cleanliness, and one would be apt to infer that they all had a touch of the hydrophobia, from their aversion to water. From the highly flourishing appearance of the land, the immense number of fishing and coasting boats constantly employed, it would be reasonable to conclude that great quantities of sugar, coffee, cotton and fish were exported, and that provisions of all kinds could be had in abundance; but such is not the fact: from one to three small miserable junks, from the island of Hainan, visit here annually, bringing coarse tea and some paper, and take in return, ground-nut-oil, a small quantity of wax, and some colambac, here called kinam; being a resinous aromatic concretion, and generally said to be taken from the heart of the aloe wood. Sapan wood is occasionally to be bought. The terrace culture is resorted to, in raising upland rice. In fact, not enough rice is raised for the use of the inhabitants, and they are obliged to import part of this necessary article of food from Nhiatrang, and other parts of the kingdom.

Their mode of freeing rice from the husk, is by means of a long beam having a pestle at one extremity; the beam plays on a pivot secured between two parallel upright posts, a large mortar being firmly fixed in the ground; the beam is elevated by the operator placing his foot upon the other end; this is a primitive, and a very slow method of freeing the husk from the kernel, and it causes it to be much broken. Indian corn appears to thrive well, but they obtain but a scanty supply: if more attention was paid to agriculture, and a less number of people were employed in fishing, exports to a large amount might be made within a few years; they import rice and tea, when they might raise both in abundance, as well as coffee.

Elephants appear to be used here for domestic purposes; they are said to be found in great numbers. Buffaloes, having a hump between the fore shoulders, are used in the plough as well as the common ox; the price given for the former for the use of the ship, has been from ten to fifteen dollars. A small fleet horse, or rather pony, is here much used, the price being about twenty quans, equal to eleven dollars. Fowls, ducks and pigs, are by no means plentiful, and are only bought at high prices; they will offer two, three or four of the two former for a Spanish dollar or for a couple of common jackknives, which they much prefer. The fruits which have been thus far offered for sale, are the custard-apple and the jack, limes, oranges, pomegranates, watermelons, lemons of immense size, and a great variety of the plantain and banana, in one kind of which I found a great many seeds; they were disposed of in horizontal layers in six compartments, having a small pith running through them; there are about fifty seeds in each, of an irregular shape, pointed slightly, and white at the apex; immediately beneath them was a black ring, extending about one fourth of the way down. Never having seen any seed-bearing plantain, I am induced to note it; when ripe, the outside is of a reddish yellow, and the fruit pleasant to the taste. The vegetables are few in number, and all we have yet seen, are beans, the egg-plant, and the sweet potato.

Trees of a large growth are very scarce, being cut away to the tops of the highest hills; they are therefore obliged to resort further inland for ship-timber; a few planks of forty feet in length and about four inches in thickness, of a very hard wood, were seen in the ship-yards, sawed out quite roughly. Temples or houses for religious worship and priests, there are none; they are said to be prone to superstitious rites—this assertion has been fully confirmed in many instances.

In passing along between the village of Vunglam and the beach, I saw a shed erected, having within it some characters written on a board resembling the Chinese, but being blended so much together, they could not be understood; the picture of a frightful object was also there. A Chinese, who was with us, said it was placed there to guard against evil spirits, which greatly infested that place. In another part of the village was erected a similar shed, under which was a board, on which was inscribed in Chinese characters, only the word God, it therefore reminded me at once of what St. Paul found written on an altar at Athens, “To the unknown God.” I suppose those more refined barbarians and these poor Cochin-Chinese, are alike ignorant of Him who made and governs all things. Traversing the beach near Vung-chow, we saw a small cell erected on posts, in the middle of a grove of trees; looking into it, we found two chalk-fish painted green, suspended from the roof, and some pots containing half-burnt joss-sticks. When they wish for success in fishing, offerings are made to the presiding Deity. Great quantities of sea-shells were scattered about the place, and fires were evidently frequently made; thus they present the essence of their feasts only to the Neptunian Deity, while the pious devotee devours the substance. In another similar place about four miles from thence, we found another cell or box erected on posts, but it was more neatly constructed—in it were two paintings in water colours, evidently Chinese, each having one large and two small female figures; before them were half-burnt incense rods and on one side a horse’s head wrapped in a cloth, which, on opening, we found filled with maggots: a great number of small green glazed pots were scattered about.

Tigers abound throughout the country: a few nights since one came into the village of Vunglam, and carried off into the jungle a good-sized pig. The woods abound with wild hogs, goats, deer, peacocks, &c., &c., and the wild elephant is also abundant in the forests. About two miles from hence is a large barrack, containing a number of soldiers: the only arm I have yet seen them to possess is a very long spear, having a small flag or tassel attached to it. I was introduced to an old man, the commander of two thousand, the other day; himself and attendants were on horses of a small size, or rather ponies; they sat on saddles of a peculiar construction, the hinder part being the lowest; the saddle-cloth being fancifully painted, a rope used instead of a bit and bridle, and a string of small ornamented bells placed around the neck: the commander was dressed in a long robe of blue satin, and wore a black crape turban. He endeavoured to show every civility by dismounting and walking.

It has been heretofore stated, that, after repeated requests, we returned the ceremonious calls of two of the mandarins. On approaching the house, towards the outer gate, we found twelve long spears, bearing small flags, placed perpendicularly in the ground, in two lines. A wattled fence separated the dwelling from the beach: in passing through the outward entrance, we found a short neat avenue, of the graceful areca-palm, intertwined with the piper-betel leaf. We then passed through the inner entrance to the court-yard, which was in neat order. The mandarins received us with much politeness: a temporary arbour had been erected, and a table spread, having on it rice-wine, cakes, sweetmeats, fruits—tea being also served. At each end of the arbour, were suspended, from the roof, two elegantly embroidered cloths, having silk tassels and worked lappels: Chinese characters were wrought on them, the purport of which could not be ascertained, as they were so much blended together. Two brass tripods, for burning incense, were placed on the table, ornamented with a lion couchant, from the mouth of which and the open-work cover, issued the grateful perfume of the kinnam or calembac, which was kept well replenished. Paper cigars, pipes, and areca, completed the regale. The house was of brick, with a neat tiled roof. Flowers, in pots, were neatly arranged around the court-yard.

Many of the natives stood looking on, and behaved with perfect propriety. The mandarin, or chief of the village of Vung-lam, who paid us the first visit on our arrival, was in attendance, standing at my left hand, and served us, in common with the interpreters. The mandarins were dressed in their robes of ceremony. Three houses occupied as many sides of the court-yard. The mandarins and guards attended us to our boats.

When the discussion was going on relative to the letter to the minister, which occupied many hours, they finally approved of every sentence, and every word, except “friendly,” which they thought was rather too familiar a word to be used between nations; and therefore they proposed substituting the word “neighbourly,” which would read, “neighbourly intercourse.” Seeing that I was rather amused at the proposed alteration, they were desirous of knowing the cause. Being told, that, as we lived some twenty thousand miles apart, we could not hold a very neighbourly intercourse, they were much amused by the gross blunder committed by their ignorance, and replied, it was very true, and therefore they would be satisfied with the word friendly, as proposed by me. They were not aware, however, of the distance between the two countries, neither did they know the situation of North America, but supposed it to be in Europe, as we afterward ascertained.

When they take leave, they always place our right hand between theirs, bow their heads very slowly, and as low down as possible.

The government of Cochin-China is thoroughly despotic, being framed in close imitation of that of China. The sovereign, who, till lately, bore the title of king, and who still pays a nominal tribute to China under that title, assumes, among his own subjects, and with all foreign countries, except China, the Chinese title of hwang-te, (or emperor,) with the peculiar attribute, “sacred,” “divine,” &c., commonly used by the court of Peking. The name, or epithet, by which the present monarch is designated, (which name was taken by the monarch himself, at his accession to the throne,) is ming-ming; it signifies, “emperor appointed by the brilliant decree of heaven.”

According to the account of the deputies, who visited the ship at Vung-lam, the administration is also formed in imitation of the Chinese—consisting of a council of four principal, and two secondary ministers. The chief of these, (whom Mr. Crawford, the British envoy, calls the minister of elephants, or of strangers,) was said to be the minister of commerce, navigation, &c.

The provincial government is also formed in imitation of the Chinese. Two or more provinces are governed by a toung-tuh, (tsong-dok,) or governor; under whom, the principal officers, in each province, are two, viz.: a pooching-sze, (bo-chang-sze,) or treasurer and land-officer: and an anchasze, or judge. Subordinate to these, are magistrates, called che-foos, che-keens, &c., presiding over the districts into which each province is divided. In Cochin-China, as in China, there are nine grades of rank, each of which is divided into a principal and secondary class. Every officer, employed in the government, is of one of these grades: thus, the ministers of the council are of the first grade, principal class; and the governors of provinces, are of the first grade, secondary class.

This is all the information respecting the government of Cochin-China, that could be obtained from the natives.