Manners comes next under my Consideration: it implies such a Government of our Children as tends to regulate their Conduct, by making their Actions what they ought to be. And though Health has been treated first, from it’s being generally thought the most immediately necessary, yet if this Regulation, this due Government does not accompany every Endeavour to preserve their Children’s Health, Parents will often be disappointed, and find their Labour fruitless.

The Basis of Government is Authority: without that, in vain do we expect any Order in our Children, any Happiness to ourselves. Cities, Armies, Kingdoms, all are sustain’d by it: and so too must private Families be. By Authority I do not mean that stern Brow, that trembling awful Distance, nor that Bashaw-like Behaviour, which favours more of the Tyrant than of the Parent; no: I mean a rational, yet absolute Exercise of a Degree of Power, necessary for the regulating the Actions and Dispositions of Children, ’till they become wise enough to govern themselves. But because some Children attain this necessary Knowledge sooner than others, and one Child will be better able to conduct itself at fifteen, than another at twenty, or even thirty; there is but one general way of ascertaining the length of Time our Authority should be exercised in it’s full Force; which is that settled by the Laws of our Kingdom; viz. ’till the Age of twenty-one. And if we can once seriously resolve to employ this Term so critical to Children, solely to their Advantage, Authority will thenceforward become useless: it’s Terrors will vanish, and be wholly absorbed in the united Considerations of the Parent, the Friend, and the Companion: in a Word, our Children well conducted to this Age will afterwards take as much Pains to make us happy, as we have done to make them wise. But to proceed.

As soon as a Child discovers the first Dispositions to Perversity and Self-will (which as sure as it is born it will too soon begin to do) I advise most earnestly that it be attended to; for much depends upon it. Here I must caution my Fair Readers in particular, not to suspect me of Cruelty; since the Pains I am taking is intended to prevent the Necessity of using any Severity during our whole Lives. But what! you’ll say, should a Child be corrected before it can speak? I answer, that the first Principle in human Nature is Self-love; Reason, the second Principle, opens only by degrees. Now as soon as the Passions of Children shew themselves, they should certainly be checked: and as the Fear of Chastisement is included in Self-love, it is easy to turn this to their Advantage, ’till Reason shall have gained so much Strength as to render it unnecessary: no one can absolutely fix the Time, but within the Year most Parents will find a Necessity to begin; and before half the first Septenary is past much may be done.

In the Government of Children Parents should be obstinately good; that is, set out upon right Principles, and then pursue them with Spirit and Resolution: otherwise their Children will soon grow too cunning for them, and take the Advantage of their Weakness.

Severe and frequent Whipping is I think a very bad Practice; it inflames the Skin, it puts the Blood into a Ferment, and there is besides, a Meanness, a degree of Ignominy attending it, which makes it very unbecoming: still there may be Occasions which will render it necessary; but I earnestly advise that all the milder Methods be first try’d. A coarse clamorous manner of enforcing Obedience is also to be avoided; it is vulgar, and nothing vulgar should be seen in the Behaviour of Parents to their Children, because through the Eyes and Ears it taints their tender Minds: still, let Parents make their Children both see and feel the Power they have over them.

If a Child is passionate and wilful, a Look, or a little Tap on the Hand, will, without hurting it, sometimes suffice to convince it that it is doing wrong; and will often cure the Fault, or at least keep it under. A Child, in a perverse Mood, throws down it’s Play-things; if they are taken up fifty times successively, they are still thrown down as long as the Spirit of Contradiction lasts: now the Remedy here should be to take them away; or by a serious Countenance shew you are displeased; and the Child will very probably not only soon be quiet, but be less prone to do the like another Time. I have seen Children that could not speak, distinguish perfectly those who were disposed to spoil them, from those who were not; scratch Faces, break China, and play the tyrant over all who humour’d them, and yet not offer to lift a Finger against those who did not. By all means let Children be play’d with, and have every Amusement; but great care must be taken to distinguish Play from Mischief; innocent Freedom, from a growing Perversity.

The Humours even of Infants are innumerably various. One Child will not sleep but on a Lap; another there is no Peace with unless rock’d in a Cradle; a third will cry when a Candle is taken away; and to shew us why it cry’d, it is quiet the Moment it is brought back again; a fourth will swill Tea or some other improper Liquor out of measure and out of time; and a fifth will eat Trash ’till it can eat nothing else, nor that itself. In these Cases I advise Parents to consider if their Children are acting for themselves, or they for their Children: one Grain of Judgment will set them right; one Minute’s Reflection will shew them their Error; but, when they once see it they must resolve to avoid it for the future. I call’d some time ago on a Friend, and took a Family Dinner; when to my great Astonishment I saw little Master, not yet a Year old, drinking Porter. What, said I, do you give the Child strong Drink? Oh! Sir, reply’d Mamma, he’ll drink nothing else. Now is not the Fault of such Proceeding obvious? and is not the Remedy as obvious? Parents surely cannot be so blind as not to see their Children’s Health impair’d, and their Humours strengthen’d, by this misplac’d Indulgence; and all for want of a little Resolution, a gentle Correction, or a seasonable Reprimand; nay perhaps only a Look; which given with an authoritative Air, would often have the desired Effect. Constant Experience proves how wrong, nay how ineffectual, the opposite Practice to this is; those who give a Child every thing it cries or asks for, strengthen indeed its Wilfulness, but are far from making it happy. How many improper Things are there which Parents give a Child because they cannot quiet it? Who has not seen a Picture, a Book, a Watch, and other valuable things exposed to be destroyed by it through this mistaken Management? But surely it is right that even among the Baubles contrived on purpose, the Parents, not the Child, should have the Command of them; that is, they should be given or taken away at Discretion; and this without Passion or Ill-nature on one Side, and without Clamour or Fretfulness on the other. Parents should every Day more and more convince their Children of their Power over them, by restraining their little Irregularities, and by weakening their Passions; now this they cannot do without an early Attention to their various Dispositions and Tempers; that they may thence learn what Propensity is strongest, what Foible is most predominant.

Nature, ’tis true, is not alike bountiful to all; nor does she give the same Propensity, the same Temper to all. One Child is born with sweet and mild Dispositions; another more sanguine, and full of Fire; a third has a Redundance of Acrimony; and so on: yet different Tempers are sometimes a kindness bestow’d on us by Nature, on purpose for us to act some certain Part on the great Stage of Life. It is therefore the Parents Business to watch the Temper of their Children; to check any evil Tendency, any ill Dispositions, and prevent every Excess from growing into a Habit; nay more, to change the bad Humour into a good one; as Physicians administer Medicines to alter the Blood and Juices. That famous Reply of Socrates to the Phisiognomist was excellent: “Nature (says he) intended me a Monster; but Reason has made me what I am.” Cardinal Richlieu (speaking of external Graces) says, “Every thing to a Gentleman should be natural.” Now it cannot be supposed that he means, we should know how to speak, or move, or dance gracefully, without being taught; no, but these Things by Acquisition should so far enter into us as to seem interwoven in our Nature. Thus did Philosophy change the Vices of Socrates into Virtues; and thus should Parents correct and alter the irregular Dispositions of their Children: they must temper and moderate the Fire of one, lest it grow too impetuous; they must animate the Mildness of another with a Degree of Warmth, lest it become sluggish; and they must blunt and sweeten the Acrimony of a third, lest it degenerate into Rancour; which last Frame of Mind, as it is of all others the most detestable in itself, and the most dangerous to Society, so of all others it requires the nicest Care to manage; in short Parents, as I have already observed, are to let their Children see and feel their Affection for them, and their Power over them; and then regulate their Actions as they find necessary.

I have still my Eye on Children in the first Septenary, and with Concern view the Majority of them humour’d, and therefore humoursome; Boys audacious and impudent under the Name of courageous; and Girls pert and vain under the name of witty. It is my Opinion the Parents need not trouble themselves much to reason with their Children in this Stage; first let them consider what is proper for them to do, or avoid; then enforce their Compliance in soft and winning Terms; or, if not with a smiling Countenance, at least with a smooth Brow and without harshness: but whenever they attempt to disobey, let them shew by a Word or a Look that they are absolute: which Method I think should be seriously adhered to. Though I have already observed that Children have Knowledge much earlier than is commonly imagined, they have yet no Judgment to guide their Actions. What they chiefly discover to us at this Age is Cunning; therefore if Parents neglect Reproof when necessary, they will soon get the better of them. For Example, a Child cries because it is to go to School; shall Parents fondly to quiet it keep it at Home? by no means. A Dose of Physic is to be taken; shall they, because it is unpleasant, humour the Child, and throw it away? no surely. There is no other Method here but being serious; you must go, you must take it; when Children thus see their Parents in earnest, Obedience very soon becomes familiar and easy.

Nor is an unreasonable Compliance with the Humours of Children what Parents take it for; they falsely think it Tenderness and Love; but far from it; it is Love degenerated into Weakness and Folly. But it is easy to soften this seeming Rigour in the Behaviour of Parents, by their addressing the Understandings of Children at other Intervals, supposing it to be open. What more natural and reasonable than to say to a Child, You know, my Dear, all good Children do as they are bid; all Children to become wise must go to School; you would not surely be rank’d among bad Children by being disobedient? You would not, I hope, be a Blockhead? yet if you do not apply to your Learning you must be one. Thus too with Regard to Medicines: You know, my Love, Physic is to make you well; I am sorry you have occasion to take it; I am sorry it is unpleasant; but since it is necessary for you, prove yourself a good Child, and take it at once. Here I must beg leave to expostulate with Parents on the Errors usually run into in this last Particular. How comes it that there is such an universal Difficulty in getting Medicines down a sick Child’s Throat? How comes it that the most sprightly talkative Child cannot be prevailed on to shew its Tongue to the Doctor, yet the Moment his Back is turn’d he will loll it out twenty times? The Reason is plain; Parents do not teach their Children to obey. Instead of Compulsion or Reason, they use Flattery, Bribes and Deceit: but I am practically convinced that all this, however common, is wrong: and indeed where Obedience is not insisted on, and made a first Rule of Action, few things can be right. As Medicines are generally nauseous, a Repugnance to take them is as natural as shrinking at Pain; notwithstanding this, where they are really necessary, and unless they are so, nobody ought to be troubled with them, a Child at any Age, from the very Day it is born, till it is a Man or Woman, may, and ought to be made to take them. But to do this Parents must set out right; they must have the Child under Command. That every Parent is actuated by a Principle of preserving the Life of their Child, I will take for granted; but this is not enough: they must go on to the Execution of the Means. The Infant of a Day shews its Repugnance to swallow a few Grains of Rhubarb; the Child of a Year will twist it’s Head about every Way it can, that the Spoon or Cup which contains the Dose may not reach it’s Mouth; and by the time it is three or four Years old, it will probably dash the Cup out of the Hand of those who offer the Potion, or tell them in plain Terms it won’t take it. Now, without mentioning the Consequence this may be of to it’s Health or Life, there is another of great Importance; namely, that a Child thus used to get the better of all about it, and convinced it can conquer it’s Parents, is seldom disposed to conquer itself; so that where Self-will is very strong, Reason will doubtless be weak; and only serve to aggravate the Fault by fixing an Error, perhaps for Life. Yet great as all these Difficulties appear, they vanish at the Entrance of Reflection and Resolution. If Parents consider that they are bound by every Tye to make their Children obey, and then resolve to fulfil this Obligation, the Business is done: therefore with regard to Medicines, what have they more to do? Nothing but the Execution, which may be effected with Ease. For Example, take a Child from it’s Birth to the Age of twenty-one, and divide this Time into three, not equal parts, but States; call the first the unresisting State; the second the State of Cunning; and the third the State of Reason. The first is extremely short, we cannot count it by Years, and scarcely by Months; nor is there any Trouble here with Medicines, but putting a Spoon or Cup to it’s Mouth, and holding the Head back ’till the Dose is swallowed. The second State lasts long; and tho’ soft and winning Words are always to be preferred, yet they seldom succeed here; a serious Countenance and a resolute Air are the surest Means to conquer; and these maintained, there is nothing to fear. The Difficulties of the third State, that of Reason, are greatly lessened by the Success of the preceding; for a Child habituated to obey, looks back with Pleasure on it’s Compliance with every reasonable Command; and tho’ it before obey’d and took Medicines, because it must, it now takes them because it ought.

I cannot but be of Opinion, that every Method in the Management of sick Children contrary to this is erroneous; I think I have seen all tried that is in the Power of human Invention; and many who read this cannot but be convinced that their own Endeavours have often been fruitless. The first Rule Parents are to lay down to themselves is, never to deceive their Children; for surely those who are to teach them never to be deceitful, cannot but be very unfit Persons to deceive them themselves: nor does this square with the Practice of quibbling down a Dose of Physic, under a thousand Shifts and Turns, and even manifest Falshoods. The next Rule is, to avoid the Practice of Bribes. Children should be taught to know, that their greatest Happiness is their Parents Love; therefore the Custom of giving them Sugar-Plumbs, Cakes, Toys, or Money for every thing they take, is grievously wrong: it gives them a Fondness for improper things; it gives them a restless Desire for every new Bauble; and above all, it gives them an early Mean-spiritedness; an odious Selfishness; a Desire of being paid for every thing they do.

At the same time that I recommend to Parents never to call things by wrong Names, never to attempt imposing on a Child’s Senses or Understanding, or to force down Medicines with Bribes; so I also recommend, that they avoid Harshness and Violence, unless pressed to it by great Necessity; but this Caution is almost needless after what has been said: for with the Method proposed, it requires no more than to approach the sick Bed with, Come, my Dear, take your Dose; if the Child says, it is nauseous, grant it: but at the same time say, We do not take Medicines for Pleasure, but to make us well: if it declines it, urge how wrong it is to dwell on what would be gone in a Minute; and if any Difficulty still remains, inform it, that it is not for your Sake you urge it, but it’s own; and that while you are doing all you can to restore it to Health, you must, and will be obeyed. At intermediate times, let Parents, by a fond, engaging Behaviour, convince their Children how tenderly they love them; let them frequently mingle with them in their little Plays and Sports; and let them sometimes overlook Trifles, that they may have more Influence in Matters of Moment.

Lord Hallifax observes, that the first Impressions Children receive are in the Nursery; whence he infers, that Mothers have not only the earliest, but the most lasting Influence over them.

That the first Care of Children, and many of the most tender Offices they require, are the Mother’s Province, is an undoubted Truth; but when the forming their Manners is under Consideration, the Influence of both Father and Mother should, if possible, be equal; at least it is necessary that Parents go hand in hand, and not counteract one another in the Government of them.

Parents should make it a Rule to themselves, never to shew to their Children, both at once, the Marks of extreme Anger, or excessive Fondness; but when a Child has done such a Fault as demands of the Father to affect great Severity, let the Mother put on an equal Share of Lenity and Compassion mixed with Grief: and so on the reverse. Thus too on other Occasions, when the Mother prudently exposes all the motherly Fondness of her Heart, let the Father as prudently conceal a Part of his, and, with an Air of Steadiness, insinuate, that the Conduct which is approved is no more than Duty. But Parents will never be able to act with due Moderation in the Government of their Children, without first resolving to govern, with the utmost Prudence, their own Passions and Tempers. And how will they be able to do this, unless they look inwardly, and study to find them out? If the Man be of a choleric or morose Disposition, and the Woman of a phlegmatic, mild, and affable Temper, the Contrast may prove sovereignly beneficial to their Children, if the Parties, conscious of it in themselves, resolve mutually to apply it under the Direction of Prudence; and found the Government of their young Family’s Passions on that of their own. Whereas, if ignorant of their respective Foibles, or heedless to turn them to Advantage, they give a full Loose to them, and agree in nothing but an unbridled Exertion of them as Occasion or Accident offers, the Contrast will probably prove fatal both to themselves and their Children: they will for the most part be pleased and displeased alike out of Time and out of Measure; their Severities and Lenities will often jar, and rob each other of their due Effect; their Punishments and Rewards, by being never, or but seldom, and that by mere Chance, proportioned to the Failings they mean to correct, or the Merit they Wish to encourage, will prove fruitless, if not destructive: and what is still worse, they will seldom fail, in the midst of Correction, to strengthen the Misconduct they aim at reforming, by the Example they give of it in their own Persons; and as seldom miss, in the Extravagance of their false Fondnesses, of perverting the Minds of their Children from the noble Love of Virtue, to the reptil Hankerings after Rewards, Praises, and Caresses. If a Child is to be reformed of any peevish or passionate Behaviour, what Effect can Correction have on him, if given by a Parent delivered over by his own Passions to all the Fierceness of a Brute? It may make him hate the Correction, but can never make him hate Faults, the opposite Virtues to which he sees not the least Example of in his Corrector. If another is to be encouraged in some commendable Action, what Benefit will he receive from an Excess of Fondness, while the being humour’d in other Actions, perhaps highly discommendable, only teaches him to exchange Vice for Vice, or one Folly for another? Or finally, what Advantage can be produced to Children from Reprehension or Approbation, from Punishments or Rewards, however well proportioned, timed or placed, if there appear to them in the Parents a Dissention in the bestowing them; and that they are the Overflowings of Passion or Partiality, rather than the Result of Reason and Equity? Parents then should seriously acquaint themselves with their own Tempers, and mutually consent and agree on the Methods of regulating their Children; never to reward or punish, seem angry or pleas’d, but by Concert; and above all, never to correct while in a Passion, nor reward till the fond Fit be over.

There are many things in the Management of Children rather to be wished than obtained; not so easily practised as desired; among these, one Expedient, I think, might often prove successful towards attaining this happy Medium I have been speaking of. Where a Father is of a choleric, hasty, and severe Disposition, and the Mother the reverse, which is most generally the Case, it were greatly to be wished, that, by mutual Consent, they sometimes exchanged Offices in the Government of their Children. Would the Father resolve to make it his Study so to conquer his Temper, as seldom or never, but in extreme Necessity, to interfere in reprimanding and correcting his Children, but rather to take upon him the Office of Commendations and Rewards; and of treating them with all the Affability he is Master of: and would the Mother take an equal Resolution to conquer the Softness of her Nature, to reprimand and punish them on proper Occasions with all the Sternness she can summon; remitting them for the Applause or Gratifications they may deserve to their Father: would Parents, I say, with these Dispositions, resolve on the Practice, I cannot but think it would produce excellent Effects in the Government of Children: considering the very little Danger there would be of the choleric, or naturally severe Father spoiling his Child by Excess of Fondness; or the naturally tender Mother ruining it by extreme Severity.

I will here suppose, what is most agreeable to good Sense, that Parents in general have such good Dispositions as to intend the real Benefit of their Children; but either that they have not thought on what was necessary to be done, or thought on it but confusedly: I will suppose too that both Father and Mother agree in this general Intention. Still, as all have their several Ways of judging, the most sensible People will be liable to have different Notions of different Things, and even different Ways of doing the same Thing; which, so far from being wrong, if well attended to, may contribute to the great Emolument of both. Yet Parents must be extremely cautious never to differ about the Government of Children in their Hearing; it does incredible Mischief; but particularly, it alienates them from their Duty; and weakens the Authority of the Parents on one Side at least, if not on both.

If a Child is to be in the Hands of a Nursery-maid, (which is general among People of Condition) great Care should be taken in the Choice of her. I am an Advocate for Knowledge and Good-breeding, but they are not so much wanted here. The Requisites are, Cleanliness, Good-temper, Docility, and Innocence. Every one allows, and is sensible of the Benefit of Cleanliness; and genuine Good-temper is no less advantageous; but if with these Parents find a tractable docile Mind, joined with a native Innocence, they have found a Treasure; and ought to prize it accordingly. The Parents are to be their Children’s Guides, and the sole Judges what ought to be done for them; therefore I cannot but account it a singular Happiness, when they find a Servant who will treat their Children in the Manner they require. But farther; a Servant with this Turn of Temper, will every Day improve in the Knowledge and Behaviour necessary to her Station: and from seeing the Reasonableness of the Parents Injunctions, take pains to enforce them on the Child.

But as a Variety of Circumstances in Life may alter our Views; so we are often obliged to vary our Mode of proceeding, tho’ directed to the same Point. Thus it sometimes happens, that a very young Couple become Parents, who are totally unacquainted with what ought to be done; in that Case, it is undoubtedly necessary that they seek a Person already skilled in this important Business; possessed too of all the Requisites I have just pointed out: and such an one with Care and Pains may be found. As Misfortunes are but too common, so there are Women who are not only well born, but whose Education and Manner of Life is truly virtuous; whose only Fault perhaps is, that they inconsiderately married too young; and whose Misfortune is, that Death by depriving them of their Husbands, has deprived them of Support: whence they are glad to accept of a Service, which unexperienced Parents ought as gladly to engage them in, and reward them for.

It is not enough that Children have wise and discreet Parents, who employ too a faithful Deputy; no, they must also be guarded from the Interposition of Friends and Relations. They are dangerous Sharers in our Government, and dangerous Rivals in our Children’s Affections. No body surely can mistake me so far as to think I would exclude Relations from the Respect and Duty due to them; by no means: they may assist with their Counsel in the Absence of the Children, or they may encourage filial Duty in the Absence of the Parents; but in general they should not be allow’d to interfere in the Management, nor on any Account thwart the Parents Injunctions, or discover opposite Sentiments in the Children’s hearing. What more common than for a Lady to have a Maiden Sister live with her, who is pretty sure to spoil the Children by a mistaken Fondness. A Child grows ungovernable, and the Parents correct it; now as Children are cunning before they are wise, immediately it flies to it’s Aunt; who, with eager Embraces, and pathetic Nonsense, seldom fails to pervert the Parents Correction with ill timed, and worse judg’d Consolations. Is it not easy to see that Children by this Party Management will be misled; and that if it does not misguide their Affection, it will at least weaken their Duty?

That Children have Knowledge very early is plain to us a thousand different Ways, but in none more evidently than their close Attachment, their visible Fondness, for some one Person, whether Father, Mother, Aunt, or Nurse; though commonly it is the Mother or Nurse, or whoever is most with them, or most humours them. This Fondness is perfectly natural, and we are not to be surprised at it; but my Readers must remember it is the Parents Business to regulate their Children’s Desires; and this they cannot do, if they indulge and cherish a blind Fondness in them, though it should be even to themselves. Filial Affection in it’s full Extent is undoubtedly an exalted Virtue; still to be rational, it must be just: and as there are many things which Parents cannot lawfully command their Children to do, so there are many things which Children ought not to comply with, even though commanded by a Parent. For Instance: if a Man dislikes his Wife, or a Woman her Husband (and melancholy Experience shews us these things do happen, and that there is sometimes a fix’d Aversion on one side or both) is it therefore lawful for a Man to teach his Children to hate their Mother; or the reverse? by no means: nor can a Child comply with so impious a Command. People who know but little of Life, may think such an Injunction impossible; but it is far from it. Many Incidents approaching very near to this are too frequently to be met with; and I have myself the Pleasure of being acquainted with a Gentleman, whose whole Deportment is such as renders him amiable in the Eyes of all who know him; yet this Gentleman, when a Student, was almost totally abandon’d by his Father, for no other Reason than that of writing some Letters of Duty and Affection to his Mother. But to return to this first Fondness we discover in Children. The Cause of it is mostly owing to their being too much confined to the Arms of one Person, or too much indulg’d by another: yet whatever it is owing to, the Effects are very disagreeable, very inconvenient, and sometimes very fatal.

When a Child is in the Arms of those it is fond of, no body must meddle with it under pain of a Slap on the Face; and tho’ this Behaviour is often put up with, and the Parents persuade themselves it is pretty, yet their Friends, when absent, seldom fail to condemn them as the Cause of this Behaviour: but should any one, regardless of the Slaps, take the Child into their Arms, the little Creature is immediately in a Rage, the whole Company is thrown into Disorder, and nothing can quiet it, but returning to the Arms of the mistaken Fondler. Here at one View is Error upon Error, Absurdity upon Absurdity; the Child by this mistaken Fondness is made miserable, and the Mother or Nurse a Slave. Now to obviate this Inconvenience, my Advice is, that every Child, after six Months old, be accustomed to various Faces; be put into the Arms of various People, young or old, fine or ordinary; so as to make every one they see in some Degree familiar: Parents are to make their Children happy; keep them active, lively, and smiling; and this they cannot do, if they cherish or indulge in them a Dislike of going to any other but themselves. I know this Weakness in Mothers and Nurses is attended with many Inconveniencies; it creates in Children an early Fear; often an unconquerable Shyness; it sours their Temper, and strengthens their natural Wilfulness; which last Effect is plain to every Eye; for to make the Child quiet they take it away from the Stranger; by which Treatment it soon sees it can conquer it’s Parents. But Parents encourage this partial Fondness in Children, for fear they should not love them: this is a Mistake; for even Infants soon know their Mother or Nurse; and soon too do they both see and feel a Happiness in them they do not find in others: like People who toil themselves with Sights and Shows, they return to their own Home, and enjoy a Content superior to every thing they felt abroad.

Children, while young, may be compared to Machines; which are, or should be, put in Motion, or stopped, at the Will of others: but here it must be confessed, that ’till they are able to conduct themselves, they stand in need of good Conductors. For Example, Children have the Gift of Speech; but to how perverse a Purpose, unless regulated? Their Wit, their Cunning, or their Knowledge, often serve but to mislead them; serve but to strengthen the natural Corruption of their Will. What is more common than for a Child to make no Answer when ask’d a Question? Or what more common than for another, or perhaps the same in a different Mood, to tire a whole Company with incessant Prating? Now nothing can regulate these but the Judgment of Parents; the whole Machine, that is, the Words and Actions of Children, are to be under their Guidance alone: to this End, they must set out with a Resolution to conquer; and never quit the Field of Argument ’till they have. When a Question is ask’d a Child, no Matter by whom, whether by the Parents, a Visitor, a Servant, or a Beggar, it must never be suffered to go unanswered; all the Rules of Breeding and Civility demand it; and nothing can excuse a Non-compliance: so, on the other hand, when a Child has a fluent, voluble Tongue, and is disposed to talk out of Time and Place, and to say perhaps many improper or unbecoming things, it must certainly be restrained. But tho’ I urge this, it is not merely because Children should speak or be silent; do a thing, or let it alone, when bid; for however right or pleasing all this is, it is far from being the only Motive; no, it is the Influence the opposite Behaviour will have on Children’s future Lives that must be the Point in View. A Child accustomed not to answer when spoke to, will probably contract a morose, dogged, or, at least, an uncivil Habit; another suffered to out-talk every body in the House, will be in Danger of becoming an impertinent, if not an empty Prater; and if a third is never refused the thing it asks for, it will be but ill prepared to bear Disappointments. Parents I know are apt to think nothing of these Irregularities; but it is Inattention to the first Errors, which lays the Foundation of Vices for Life. What is it distinguishes Mankind from all created Nature, but that superior Power, Reason? Yet what is it makes this noble Faculty, this boasted Power, so often useless, nay destructive, but the Corruption of the Will? Will is a distinct Power in the Soul; but as it is naturally corrupt, if Parents neglect an early Restraint of it in their Children, it is great odds that their Reason will never be able to conquer it: nay there are many who never attempt the subjecting it; who banish every thing which does not favour their Inclinations, however irregular; and even among those who struggle for Reason to gain the Ascendant, the Combat is often unequal. Hence appears the Necessity of attending to the earliest Words and Actions of Children; of observing the Biass they take; and of moulding their tender Minds, that the first Dawn of Reason may be cherished and improved in them.

Parents should give their Children an early and an ardent Love of Truth; in order to this, it is not sufficient that they give them Precepts, they must add Example too. There is no Vice more dangerous, none more odious, than a Habit of lying; and yet none more common. But what is stranger still, Parents themselves are often the Persons who teach it them. It is very far from being my Design to charge Parents with an Intention of leading Children into this capital Error; but that they do it either thro’ want of Thought, or want of Judgment, is evident. First, they grossly mistake their Children’s Capacity; and from a Notion that they know nothing, say a thousand improper things in their hearing: then, when they find themselves observed, are obliged to use many Shifts and Turns to get rid of their Curiosity and Importunity. The next Cause is, that Parents do not make Duty their Children’s Rule of Conduct. A Child sees something in it’s Father’s Hand, and asks, What is that? The Father answers, Nothing. But why make so absurd a Reply? Will not the Child in Return act the same Part? Jacky, what have you got in your Hand? Nothing. A Child sees it’s Mother put Money, Fruit, or any thing else in her Pocket, and asks for it; immediately she replies she has none: the Child taking the Conviction of it’s Senses, cries for what it has seen; and the Mother, after repeated Denials, has no other Way of pacifying it, than the giving what it cries for; and thus prove she has been maintaining a Falsehood. I was once in Company with a Lady, who with a sort of half Whisper, said her poor little Girl had Worms, and she must give her some Physic; Miss immediately cries out, What, you are talking of me now: No, no, Child, says Mamma: I know you are, replies Miss; I heard you talk of Physic, but I’ll not take any I am resolved: No, my Dear, repeats Mamma, I’m not talking about you; I’m talking of somebody that is in a Consumption. Surely such Behaviour reflects greatly on the Understanding or Conduct of Parents. Children should be told their Duty without Disguise; and it is certain they may often be won to it by soft and gentle Means; but Falsehoods, Prevarications, and puzzling the Truth, can never be the Way to lead them to it. Parents then, besides animating their Children to a Love of Truth by daily Advice, must themselves carefully avoid all obscure ambiguous Language in their hearing; all Signs, Nods, and Winks, which can answer no other End than perplexing their Understandings, or raising in them a restless painful Curiosity. Sir Roger L’Estrange tells a Story that pleases me for it’s thorough Honesty. “A Man met an Acquaintance in the Street: What, my Friend, says he, have you got under your Coat? Why, replies the other, what I have under my Coat, I put there on purpose that you might not know.” Thus Parents without quibbling or evading, without Harshness or Ill-nature, need only convince their Children that all things are not proper for them to have, nor all things fit for them to know.

There is a Propensity in Nature which greatly deserves the Attention of Parents, that is, Curiosity: and this when well regulated, may without Impropriety be called the Gate of Knowledge. How lifeless, spiritless, and insipid, is a Child without it! How pleasing, and how capable of daily Improvement with it! Parents then ought to cherish this Propensity, as it’s Use is boundless. But tho’ Curiosity is in it’s Nature a Means of Improvement, it is extremely apt to degenerate into Impertinence; and herein Parents cannot be too circumspect. For as they are really two opposite Qualities, the one a Virtue, the other a Vice; great Care should be taken to praise and reward the former, and discountenance and punish the latter. Parents, besides the Instructions and Encouragement they give to Children in this Point, should throw them in the way of exercising it, and attend to their Behaviour when unconstrained. For Example; if I never lock up my Books, my Children will learn that they have the Liberty of reading them, unless expressly forbid; so likewise if I leave Letters or other Papers about without reserve, they may with Freedom examine them; and if they did not, I should think them incurious: but if they look over my Shoulder on purpose to see what I am writing, if they break a Seal to read the Contents of a Letter, or pry into my Scrutore because I have accidently left it open; it will be easy for me to determine that they are degenerating into Impertinence.

Useful Curiosity shews itself by innumerable Enquiries into the various Productions of Nature and Art; hence insensibly arises in Children, a Love of Knowledge, and a Love of Labour; hence too they learn to distinguish the Useless from the Useful; what they should pursue from what they should avoid. Impertinence shews itself by prying into the Affairs of others; employing their Thoughts and Time about what does not concern them, to the Detriment of all within their Reach. Hence springs that Neglect of real Knowledge we daily see in many; and that Croud of Trifles which waste their Time, and tend only to hurt others, and do themselves no good. For in proportion to the Time they spend in acting wrong, so much do they lose of the Knowledge how to act right. But besides it’s being so detrimental and destructive to Society, Impertinence has something in it so mean and hateful, that Parents cannot do too much to keep their Children free from it.

Parents should encourage in their Children a lively chearful Disposition; but quite pure, and unmixt with Vice, however distant. In order thereto, they should never suffer them, for any consideration, to utter an indecent Word, or commit any irregular Action which has the least bad Tendency; but above all, Parents must be careful themselves, never to say or do any thing in their Presence that they ought not to hear or see. This Caution may seem unnecessary, since all acknowledge how great the Force of Example is; yet if we view the general Conduct of Fathers particularly, we shall be obliged to own they stand greatly in need of it. For what more common than to hear Men swear and utter many indecent Expressions before their Children? And what more natural than their Imitation of them? which Poison, when once imbibed, cannot easily be expelled. As my Aim in writing is purely the Hopes of conveying Instruction, so I speak my Thoughts with Freedom; and every one is at liberty to take or leave what they like, or what they find most necessary and applicable to themselves: still I cannot help urging in the strongest Terms, a strict Regard to Decency as an universal and indispensable Obligation. For whoever considers how naturally propense we are to catch the Taint, and how very hard it is to wipe it off, will surely agree with me, that those are much the happiest who escape the Infection the longest.

But besides the nicest Care with regard to Words, Parents, as I have observed before, should be greatly circumspect in their Actions. Nothing gross or indecent should be done in their Sight; a Mother should by no means appear too much undressed in the Presence of her Son; nor a Father in that of his Daughter; for these and many other things, though in themselves innocent, are not allowable; they give Boys a Boldness which borders on Impudence; and they are apt to wean Girls from some Degree of that Modesty they ought so carefully to preserve.

I cannot but recommend, what I doubt very few will comply with, that Boys and Girls, even when Infants, have not only separate Beds, but, wherever it is practicable, always lie in separate Rooms: nor should they ever be exposed naked to one another, or the least wanton Curiosity be permitted: the Eyes and Ears convey Corruption to the Mind; and we cannot begin too soon to shut up every Avenue to Vice. I am sensible of the Singularity of this Doctrine; but I am firmly persuaded many good Effects would flow from the Practice of it. It is Matter of Astonishment to me, to see discreet and good People universally over-run with the false Notion, that Children do not observe; as if because they are Children, they neither hear, nor see, nor feel: whence they often lead them, or suffer them to be led very early into some kinds of Knowledge, which should be the last for them to learn. I grant indeed that such is the general reigning Corruption, that however carefully Parents avoid tainting their Children’s Minds, they will still be exposed to the Contagion of others; but if they have the Happiness of seeing these things always discountenanced by their Parents, and are never suffered to copy the corrupt Manners of others, the odds are greatly in their Favour: but if after all they should still turn out vicious, Parents will have at least the consoling Reflection, that they did every thing on their Part to prevent it.

At the same time that Parents are industrious to make Children obedient to themselves, they must teach them to consider every one as an Individual of Society, and give them a deep Sense of the Necessity of good Behaviour to all, whatever be their Circumstances or Condition. In every Family there are particular Obligations which Children must be taught to distinguish, and to reduce to Practice. Next to their Parents, Children owe to all senior Relations, Respect and Duty; to their Brothers and Sisters they owe not only a tender but an unalterable Affection; and all of more distant Kin have a Claim of Respect which cannot be refused them. Yet all this is but little, if compared with the universal Demand Mankind have on one another. We cannot without Injustice deny Virtue and Merit our Esteem; old Age is venerable, and to refuse the Honours due to it, is a Degree of Impiety; Obligations demand Gratitude; Misfortunes call for Friendship and Compassion; and even Vice and Folly demand our Pity and Concern, nay more, demand our Endeavours to remove them. But among the various Situations in Life, that which most requires the Care and Attention of Parents is, the teaching Children a due Regard to People in Poverty and Distress. It does not cost much pains to give Children a proper and becoming Behaviour to their Betters and Equals; but to persuade them to maintain a considerable Degree of Respect to Inferiors, or to those in disadvantageous Circumstances, is an arduous Task; still it may and ought to be done. Nothing so humanizes the Soul, nothing so strongly proves the Man, as sympathizing with, and relieving the Distresses of our Fellow Creatures: ’tis then the Duty of Parents never to let their Children speak or act with the least Degree of Rudeness to the lowest among Mankind; never to let them divert themselves with their Rags or Misfortunes; but on the contrary, they should sometimes furnish them with Money or other Things, that the Relief they design to give the Needy may pass through their Hands: and at the same time imprint this Truth on their Minds; that he who is thus reduced to ask, is often far more deserving than he who bestows.

Another indispensable Duty of Parents to their Children is, that they teach them never to dare to sport with the natural Defects of others. As an ingenious Author says, “This Practice, though levelled at the Creature, reflects on the Creator; it mocks the Architect, and burlesques the Creation.” ’Tis strange that Persons of the best Understanding so seldom reflect on this Point. What can be more absurd than to ridicule one Man for being too tall, and another for being too short? one for having too little Nose, another for having too much? The Degrees of Beauty and Deformity are infinite; and to be perfectly free from natural Defects and Blemishes is the Lot of very few: nor is it easy to fix the Standard of Beauty. We know by Anatomy, Sculpture and Painting, the general Rules of Symmetry and Proportion, and thus easily distinguish the gross Defects; but Beauty in the superlative Degree, in it’s ultimate Perfection, is not so readily determined. But farther; what is beautiful in the Eye of one is not so in the Eye of another; what was accounted Beauty in some former Age or distant Country, is not esteemed such at present. Since then we see that ’tis our general Lot to be more or less defective, and that All are made by one Almighty Hand, how inhuman must it be to insult or despise another for what, if an Imperfection, it is not in his Power to avoid; and that perhaps while the Insulter himself is not free from other Blemishes, full as obvious and offensive to many.

But the Defects of the Body are not alone the Subject of our Ridicule; we sport too with those of the Mind. Providence for wise Reasons does not give to all alike; are we therefore to hold another in contempt for not knowing so much as ourselves? Are we to laugh at a Man for not knowing what he has had no opportunity to learn? no surely. A Neglect to improve, and the Abuse of natural Talents, are the only things that deserve the Scourge; and even here it often happens, that he who exercises the Rod, deserves it more than he who feels it. Such however is the Partiality, such the false Practice of Mankind. Can Parents then be too careful to obviate these Errors in their Children? Can they take too much Pains to imprint on their Souls the Meanness and Folly of such Mistakes? surely they cannot.

Another Caution equally necessary is, that Parents utterly avoid all Distinction of Favourites among their Children. Sometimes the Father has his Darling, and the Mother her’s; sometimes they both doat on the same Child, and neglect the rest. Again, it is frequently observed, that Mothers are extravagantly fond of the Boys, and either treat the Girls with a visible Indifference, or grossly neglect them, they know not why. It is true indeed that it may, and sometimes does happen, that one Child in a Family is superior in Parts to the rest, or is particularly engaging, and may be said to merit that partial Distinction Parents make; but to shew that Reason is not always their Guide, I appeal to general Observation, whether it does not often happen, that the greatest Favourite is the greatest Booby? Yet allowing that a Lady loves her Son best, because he is really a smart Fellow; it is possible those very Qualifications she so much admires, and which attract her to him to the Prejudice of the other Children, are the things she ought to be most displeased with; things, which if sounded to the Bottom, would often prove Vice or Folly. But supposing that the favourite Son is really what he appears, more amiable than the Girls; may not this be owing to Accident or Design? May it not be the Effects of superior Education, or a greater Knowledge of Men and Manners? most certainly. All young People are, what they are, in proportion to the Opportunities they have had of acquiring Knowledge, or the Use they have made of them; so shut them out from Opportunities, and they can never improve; because they are deprived of the Means: thus it often happens in Families; the Boys are in the World, and gain a Knowledge of good Behaviour; the Girls are coop’d up, and Mamma wonders at their Ignorance! But what farther increases a Mother’s Surprize is, that she does not find her Girls improve in proportion to the Opinion she entertains of her own Abilities: now allowing, what cannot be generally true, that she has all that a Woman can be possessed of, if they are confined to the Company of her chiefly, their Knowledge of the World will be very scanty. To be acquainted with the World, we must see it; to know Mankind, we must know their Faces, and mark their Deportment; and from seeing a Variety of Manners, must come the Power of polishing our own.

I say not this as an Intimation to Parents, that they ought to throw their Children wild and untaught into the World, far from it; on the contrary, I am convinced how much they want to be fortified against it’s Snares; and how nicely they ought to be conducted: but with reference to the Matter in hand, I would fain make Parents sensible how irregular, nay how unjust their Partiality usually is; particularly in banishing Children from their Affections for not knowing what they have had no Opportunity to learn. If then Parents really intend the Good of their Children, they must with the utmost Resolution throw off all Partiality; if not, ’tis more than probable it may greatly injure, or even undo, a whole Family. The Darling is liable to be ruined thro’ Indulgence; the rest, thro’ Neglect and Ignorance. Children, by this unequal Treatment, conceive a Hatred to one another, and often to the Parents themselves, which perhaps lasts as long as their Lives. But besides that, this injurious Treatment debases their Minds, it is productive of many dreadful Evils; for hence proceed, not only inveterate Malice, but Confusion, Law-suits and Poverty; and hence too proceed rash, precipitate, and disgraceful Marriages; with many other Calamities, which it would require a Volume to enumerate.

Parents should by all Means consider, that every Child is equally the Object of their Love and Care; and, by the Right of Nature, equally demands their Protection. The Laws indeed, for the Support of Families and Dignity, have, in some Cases, made an Inequality in the Distribution of Fortune, which must be submitted to: still that does not take off from the Obligation of Parents, nor justify a blind or whimsical Partiality. There is no Topic I would more enforce than this, yet none more difficult to prescribe Rules for. It is certain, that rewarding the good, and punishing the bad, is both a Virtue, and a Duty; yet at the same time that I acknowledge how much the good Child deserves, I cannot resolve to abandon the bad: the Voice of Nature and Reason cry out loudly against it. I will for once suppose Parents entirely divested of Partiality, and that the Difference is really in the Children, and not in themselves. Are they sure there are no Faults in their Education? Are they conscious that they have not exposed them to be corrupted by others, tho’ they have not done it themselves? Are they convinced those Acts of Disobedience which their Children commit are the Effects of Malice prepense? or may they not be rather the Sallies of thoughtless, giddy Youth? All these things Parents must nicely weigh, before they carry their Resentment against a Child to Extremes. Let Parents reflect, that a Boy whom they cannot now controul, and whom perhaps they are going to expose to the capricious Fury of the Seas, and deliver up to an Academy of Vice and Profaneness in order to reform him, may be much sooner reclaimed by proper Pains and Remonstrances, than by throwing him into the Jaws of Licentiousness: for how often do we see a disorderly Youth, touched, by a Parent’s well-timed Clemency, with a Sense of his Mistakes; and when the native Fire of his Youth is abated, become truly wise and good; a Pattern of Virtue, and an Honour to the Age he lives in? Can Parents reflect on this, and not resolve to try every Expedient before that of disinheriting a Child, abandoning him to Misery and Want, or giving him up to that Nursery of Immorality, the Sea? My serious Advice in this Point is, that Parents be not hasty in driving things to Extremities. Let them with unwearied Patience try every gentle Means in their Power; and certainly by such Methods they will have the fairest Chance to succeed. For if Children see their Parents constantly aiming at their general Good; if they find them hold the Scale of Justice with an equal Hand; and experience their Affection and Tenderness to be void of Partiality, even after repeated Provocations; if, I say, they once become so happy as to reflect on these Circumstances in their true Light, (as sooner or later undoubtedly they will) I cannot but hope the most abandoned will be reclaimed, and the hardest Heart softened into Tenderness, Respect and Duty. But here lies our common Error; we grow impatient at a Child’s Disobedience and Untowardness, and without striking at the Root of his Vices, without levelling at, and removing the Cause, we dwell on the Effects; his Follies give us Pain, and we do not try so much to cure him, as to ease ourselves; and therefore rashly remove him from our Sight by sending him to Sea: in my Opinion, the last Place in the Universe to make a bad Boy a good one. I heard a Story some Years ago of a rich Citizen of London, which deserves to be remember’d with Honour. He had a Son, some Years past a Boy, addicted to every Extravagance, and who had almost worn out the Father’s Patience and Indulgence by repeated Abuses of them, and by continual Cravings. The Father at length consulted a Friend, in order, if possible, to devise a Remedy: when he had poured out his Soul in Grief, and shewn that his Kindness had been almost boundless; the Friend replied, I have, Sir, a Remedy to propose, that I think deserves the Experiment. The World calls you a hundred thousand Pound Man; but tho’ that may not be strictly true, yet from my own Knowledge you are very rich: throw at once ten thousand Pounds into your Son’s Hands; that Sum cannot ruin you, and it is possible it may save him. The good old Man, with Heart full of Desire to do whatever might convince his Son how much he wish’d his Happiness, very readily came into the Proposal: he sent for him accordingly, and thus addressed him. “You know, my Son, how dear I have always held you; you know how much I have desired your Happiness and Prosperity, by the Pains I have taken to promote them; but you do not consider how much you have abused my Indulgence: your boundless Love of expensive Pleasures has so far blinded you, that you neither see my Kindness, nor your own Folly. But here, take the utmost Proof of an afflicted Father’s Fondness; take this ten thousand Pound, and husband it as you please. If you use it well, it will not be the last Favour you may hope from my Tenderness: but if you persist in the Abuse of my Bounty, ’tis the sole Proof of it you must ever expect.” The Son, struck with Amazement at so much Goodness, and touched with a deep Sense of his former Ingratitude, from that Hour became all he ought to be, and all his Father’s Heart could wish. This genuine Relation may in great Measure serve as a Guide to Parents. It is true every one has not ten thousand pound to give; but there are ten thousand Parents who may, by exerting their several Capacities according to their Station, preserve their Children from the Ruin they are threaten’d with: and thus turn them from Objects of Vexation and Grief, into Instruments of Joy and Happiness.

At the same time that the Authority of Parents is to be maintain’d above every other Consideration, Children should be taught to love them to a superlative Degree. This Love in Children to their Parents, will naturally make them fly to them on every Emergence; and thus Obedience will become a Pleasure: whereas if they are kept at a Distance by an austere Behaviour, or are treated in a cold, lifeless, insipid Manner, they will be apt to doubt of their Parents Affection, and be induced to seek Comfort from others: and then no wonder if they fly to Aunts and Cousins, when even the Servants, from the Stable to the Kitchen, will have Power to engage their tender Hearts, and rob Parents of that superior Affection they ought so jealously to engross to themselves. Nothing requires more the Parents Attention, than the preserving that golden Rule, a Medium in their whole Conduct to their Children; therefore while they are careful not to spoil them by too much Indulgence, they should at the same time study to win their Hearts.

Parents should be particularly careful not to dispirit their Children; which undoubtedly will have a bad Influence on their whole future Conduct. There is a Degree of Courage to be maintained that is not only graceful, but absolutely necessary to carry us thro’ Life, which Parents therefore must not destroy. Some of my Readers may perhaps think, that while I am enforcing Obedience, I am myself undermining Courage; but let me ask them whether a Soldier loses his Courage by being under Discipline? by no Means. On the contrary, a Consciousness of the Regularity of his Exercise, and of his Skill in the Use of Arms, always animates him in time of Danger: thus Children kept in Decorum, and under a Habit of doing right, will have far less Fear than those who are acting as their Passions lead them: unless indeed they are quite abandoned.

Courage discovers itself by a Command of Countenance, a dauntless Air and Behaviour, join’d with such a Degree of Respect, Duty, and Self-knowledge, as shews it to be free from Impudence and Self-conceit: it is a Firmness of Spirit that enables us to encounter every Danger when necessary; and to demean ourselves in a proper Manner under Trouble, Pain, and Disappointment. But here Parents must be very careful to distinguish false Courage from true, imaginary Evils from real: let there be no trembling about Hobgoblins, or dark Holes; no Stories of Apparitions to raise Terror in the tender Minds of Children: Parents should never mention these things to them, nor, if possible, suffer any body else to do it; unless it be to laugh at, and expose the Folly of them.

Nothing can be a greater Weakness than the creating or cherishing these Fears in Children: nay how senseless a thing is it to make them afraid of a dark Room, a Chimney-sweeper, or whatever else can impress a groundless or an unjust Fear on them; for more or less they feel it their whole Lives, and by that Means are oftentimes made very miserable. Children, as soon as they can distinguish, should be taught to look, and move, and speak with Courage; and, as they grow up, they should be put frequently in the Way of exercising it, whereby many natural or acquired Weaknesses will be conquered: such as, a Fear of the Water, Riding, and innumerable other things, which Parents should by every Means endeavour to prevent or remove: taking along with them this Caution, not to treat those Children whose Spirits are naturally weak, with the same Freedom they do the more robust; nor ever rashly expose them to real or imminent Dangers.

There is another Species of Fear, so far removed from Virtue and good Sense, that Parents cannot do too much to banish it from their Children’s Minds; I mean that which is the Offspring of Superstition. What Pity is it that this heathenish Principle should ever find a Place in a Christian Breast: that People who are taught to rely on Providence alone, and who know that Happiness is the infallible Reward of a virtuous Life, should nevertheless desert that Providence, and turn their Backs on the Comforts and Advantages annexed to it, to run in Search of Misery. Fear is natural to the Soul of Man; but it is Reason only that can fix it’s just Bounds. If I have a Child in the Indies, and dream he is dead, am I to be miserable till a Letter from him convinces me of my Folly? If I am about engaging in an Affair, of itself not only innocent but laudable, am I to put it off because it is an unlucky Day? or because a senseless, withered Hag shakes her Head over a Dish of Coffee-grounds, am I to fear that Destruction is coming upon me? No, no; all these are Instruments of Misery, which nobody must meddle with who claims being a rational Creature. Superstition and Happiness are incompatible, as every Day’s Experience proves. Parents then, effectually to avoid these Evils, must teach their Children a just Abhorrence of Superstition; they must teach them too, that the only Fear consistent with a Reliance on Providence, and consistent with Virtue and good Sense, is the Fear of doing wrong; that is, of being vicious.

The general Indulgence of Parents to their Children in gratifying their unreasonable Humours, is no small Obstacle to their Happiness; but that is not all, it disturbs the Oeconomy of the Family, and every Day, perhaps every Hour, throws the House into Disorder; and thus turns that into Slavery and Vexation, which Providence designed as a Comfort and a Blessing. There is a well known pleasant Story which seems not unsuitable here: A Lady gave her Daughter, about three Years old, to the Care of a Nursery-maid, with positive Orders that Miss should never be suffered to cry; Whatever she wants, says the Lady, be sure let her have it; I will not have her cry. The Maid soon grew weary of her little Tyrant, and archly resolved on a Method to convince Mamma of her Mistake. Accordingly, one fine Evening, the Girl put Miss into a Window; See, my Dear, says she, see that pretty Moon; shall I give you that pretty Moon to play with? In a short time she work’d up the Child’s Fancy so strongly, that nothing would quiet her but the Moon. At length Mamma (upon hearing her Child cry) in great Rage entered the Room; How dare you, says she, let my Child cry? Madam, replied the Maid, Miss wants—Don’t tell me she wants; she shall want nothing she has a Mind to have. Madam, repeats the Maid, (as soon as she could be heard) Miss wants the Moon; and your Ladyship knows I can’t give it her. The Lady was struck dumb; Miss still cried vehemently, and nothing could quiet her, but a severe Whipping from Mamma’s own Hands.

There are but two Ways of subduing the Passions, viz. Force and Reason; but there are a thousand Ways, and those daily used, to inflame and strengthen them. When a Child is accustomed to have all it asks for, it soon becomes unreasonable in its Demands; and in the End expects Impossibilities. Now which is most eligible, to keep the Passions regulated, and prevent their making great Resistance; or to suffer them to rise to such a Height, that all our After-care will not be sufficient to check them? Parents then should by all Means accustom themselves to deny their Children some things, even such as are innocent and reasonable; not indeed to gratify a cruel Pleasure, for that they should abhor, but to familiarize them to Disappointments, that they may brook them the better. Besides, by this Method, every Grant from the Parents will be esteemed a Favour, and received with Gratitude and Alacrity; whereas the granting every thing they ask, destroys the very Life and Spirit of Compliance, and it ceases to be a Favour. A little Judgment and Experience will shew Parents how to vary these Grants and Denials, if they do but attend to them; and if Children are under any Degree of Regulation, nothing is more easy.

Yet this by no means implies that Children are not sometimes to have what they like; far from it: but the Regulation I have been speaking of makes their own Lives comfortable and easy; and at the same time furnishes Parents with frequent Opportunities of discovering their various Inclinations and Propensities, and puts it in their Power to confer many little Favours on them, that otherwise they would not be sensible of. For Example; there are two Sorts of Meat at Table equally innocent; in that Case Parents may sometimes, without Impropriety, give a Child its Choice; this Indulgence, when allowed without Clamour or Rudeness in the Child, looks graceful, gives it Spirit, and a pleasing Air: besides, it affords Parents an Opportunity of discovering, if a Child has any natural Antipathy, any unconquerable Aversion, to certain Kinds of Food; or any thing in its Constitution that has a Repugnancy to certain Meats, which, tho’ it may like, always make it sick; all which must be distinguished from Humour and Daintiness. But it will be impossible to arrive at this Knowledge, if my first Principle, Obedience, be neglected; for if a Child be suffered always to have it’s own Humour, what a fantastical Figure does it make at Table! I have seen a sensible well-bred Woman sweat with Confusion at the Behaviour of her Child, and able to eat no Dinner herself for attending to it’s Humours. One Minute it would have one Meat, the next another; this was too fat, and that was cut in the wrong Place; by and by it would have something else, and after all grow sullen, and not eat half it’s Dinner: but Obedience obviates this Confusion, and makes all calm and regular; Children take whatever is given them, and eat it without Reluctance or Reserve. Thus while they see they are not to be humoured, Parents will be at Leisure to attend to them, and may easily observe what Food should be generally given, and what avoided; and thus too Parents might have half a dozen Children at Dinner with Peace and Joy, while the opposite Behaviour makes one a Plague to the whole Table.

This Attention to Children will likewise discover what Companions they like, and often, why they like them; by which Means Parents will be able to judge if their Dispositions are good or bad; vulgar or polite; tending to Vice or Virtue; all which will furnish them with Hints for granting or denying certain Acquaintance.

The same Rule Parents should observe, thro’ the stated Actions of every Day; that is to say, at Rising, Breakfast, Dressing, School, Dinner, Supper, and Bed-time; all are to be under such Regulation, that no Opposition or Untowardness obstruct the Order of their Designs: these I call the stated Actions, because they are things that constantly and regularly return; and Parents should by all Means habituate their Children to consider them as Acts of Obedience and Duty that must be readily complied with. On this Head I earnestly recommend, that Parents introduce Order and Method among their Children; by laying out their Time, and allotting different Hours in the Day for different Exercises; by which Means all will go smoothly on, and render their various Employments extremely easy. Here I cannot help observing, how ready People are to give opprobrious Names to what they dislike or are Strangers to. A Man, because he does not love Order, or does not understand it, endeavours to brand it with the Epithet of Formality; whereas in reality, nothing considerable or truly important can be carried on without it. How comes it, that, besides the Artizans, and other Day-labouring Men, we so regularly see the Clerk in his Office, the Merchant upon Change, the Physician with his Patient, and the Judge on the Bench? but because the Nature of our various Employments in Life require it, and because Order is the Soul of Action. To be convinced of this, we need but view the first Elements of Learning, where we find Letters and Figures always ranged in the same exact Order. But we may go farther, by observing, that Logicians teach us the Arrangement even of our Ideas; so indispensably necessary is Order and Method for the conducting us through Life. But while I urge the Usefulness and Necessity of Order, I would not be understood to mean a rigorous and starch’d Preciseness in all we do; on the contrary, I have already recommended, that Parents endeavour to give their Children an easy and a graceful Air. I am very sensible, that as in the Productions of Nature there is often displayed a beautiful Irregularity, thus Order and stated Times may be dispensed with, in some of the greatest Actions the Soul of Man is capable of. And as in Wit the sudden Propriety of the Thought and Expression makes the Beauty of it; so in the Exigencies of Life, an unpremeditated Act of Benevolence, doubly proves the Goodness of the Heart from which it flows: still as Judgment is superior to Wit, so Order is superior to Irregularity.

I have already recommended that Parents study to win their Children’s Hearts; and it is on this Principle, that Love be made to take the deepest Root in them. Love and Fear are two great Springs of human Actions; both which must be maintained, both should by turns appear, but Love must be predominant. Would Parents make their Children good, let them daily instill into them that noble Motive, Love. Would they make their Children happy, let them prove they desire it, by shewing their Love to them. Would they make Duty a Pleasure, let them teach their Children to love it, by teaching them a chearful Obedience. In the whole Oeconomy of human Life nothing is so essential to Happiness as this Principle; for as all Actions are, or should be guided by some Principle or other, so those which have a generous well-directed Love for their Motive, bid fairest for attaining that genuine Happiness, which all aspire at, but so few find. Hence it is easy to see how necessary it is for Parents to cherish in their Children this great Principle of Virtue and Happiness; ’tis this keeps their Duty awake, and turns that into Ease and Joy, which otherwise would be a Burthen and a Pain; ’tis this that stems the Torrent of irregular Actions, and checks the rising Passions of our Children, by producing in them the opposite Effect, Fear; that is, a Fear of offending. Of all the important Steps necessary for forming the Minds of Children, and for conducting them thro’ Life with Happiness to themselves and others, nothing is more truly so, than the animating their Actions with well-tempered Affection; it makes them open, generous, and noble; and it takes off that Narrowness of Mind and Heart, so disadvantageous to themselves, and so detrimental to Society: for in proportion to the Affection they prove for their Parents, so much will they increase in what in their future Lives they bestow upon others. Children who love their Parents as they ought, will seldom fail to diffuse in social Life a general Affection around them; they will love their Husbands, their Wives, their Children, and their Friends: nay they will love the whole human Race, by promoting, in some Degree or other, the Good of every one within their Reach. Such are the Benefits arising from a Love founded on just Principles; such the Force of this Heaven-born Quality!

I have observed that Fear is another great Spring of human Actions; and were it only such a Fear as Love creates, it would be truly laudable. But Experience too sadly proves how much Mankind are actuated by a Fear of Pain, Disgrace, and Poverty; a Fear which, in it’s Nature, is servile, mean, and base; such as Parents should seriously endeavour to banish from their Children’s Breasts. It may be reasonably asked, whether this Baseness, this unworthy Fear, so visible in the Majority of Men, be natural or acquired? When we view indeed our Children in some Individuals, and see them forsake every generous Offer of being happy, and cling immoveably to sordid Meanness, we may, in these Instances, conclude it is Nature; but when we consider them in the Lump, and take a general Survey of the Principles which guide their Actions, we must surely own it is in great Measure acquired: that is, the Dignity of Man is debased, in an almost constant Succession from Father to Son, by the false Estimation we make of Happiness; by forsaking Reason’s purest Streams, to follow our corrupt Passions.

To evince this, let me here descend a little to Particulars. Parents desire their Children’s Happiness, (I say nothing of those Monsters who neither feel nor act the Parent’s Part) but how do they attempt to reach it? certainly in a Path the most remote from it. No sooner have Children a Place on the great Stage of the World, but their Will is irregularly cherished; before they know where they are, or know to what End they have a Being, their tender Minds are impressed with Principles as opposite to Happiness as Light to Darkness. Who first awakens in them a Spirit of Resentment and fierce Revenge, even before they can speak? Those who beat the Floor, the Chair, the Table, or whatever little Master has heedlessly run against, and hurt himself with. Who first inflames their Vanity, by kindling in them Self-admiration, and a Passion for Dress? Those who set out with teaching Miss to admire herself only because she is fine. Who is it raises in them a Thirst of Gain, an early, and a sordid Love of Money? Those who give a mean Reward the Preference to Virtue; or who, by direct or oblique Insinuations, persuade them that there is no Happiness but in Riches. Who, in a Word, exposes them to the Fury of every tempestuous Passion, by opening the Flood-gates of irregular Pleasures? Those who indulge them in every thing they ask; who never contradict their Humour, however irregular; or who neglect to curb their Passions, and subject them to Reason. From this View of the too general Conduct of Parents, we may with Reason infer that Fear, the Spring which actuates the Majority of Mankind, is more acquired than natural: for where inordinate Desires are cherished, a Fear of not obtaining what we wish, or of losing what we possess, produces many Actions unworthy ourselves: Actions not only unjustifiable, but which constitute certain Misery under the Mask of Happiness.

To obviate then these Evils, to prevent the Acquisition of a base, mean, unmanly Fear, and to lead Children into the Path to Happiness, let Parents, as I have before recommended, make Love take the deepest Root in them, but as Fear will naturally by turns prevail, let them with the warmest Zeal labour to make it a Fear dictated by Love, and guided by Reason.

But how shall this be effected unless Parents act on right Principles? The grand Obligations of Parents to their Children consist in teaching them a Knowledge of themselves, a Love of Duty, and a Love of Virtue. Whence it is evident, that the Attention of Parents to conduct their Children as they ought, is indispensably necessary, even to the third Stage of Life; but it is doubly so at the Beginning. It is a judicious Observation, that he who sets out wrong is half undone; and tho’ this holds good in the general Concerns of Life, yet it is no where more applicable than in the false Steps taken in the initiating our Children. For if Principles opposite to Self-knowledge, Duty and Virtue, are either created, inculcated, or cherished, where is the Wonder that Children prove the reverse of what was expected? or that while they seem to aim at Happiness they find themselves wretched?

Those who build with Judgment, are always careful to lay a solid Foundation. I will now hope that Parents are sensible that the general Practice in the Management of Children is erroneous; and the general Neglect of them unjustifiable. I will hope too, that I have here shewn, however imperfectly, that Virtue alone is the Basis on which their Happiness is to be raised. An early Obedience, a Love of Truth, a spotless Innocence, and a becoming Courage, tempered with Self-knowledge, make the Ground-work of my Design; of that genuine Manners I mean to recommend. The Edifice however is still to be rear’d; that is, other Virtues both general and particular are to be taught, and brought into Habit: the whole Frame of Mind and Heart must appear regular, orderly, and beautiful; not accidentally so, but resulting from Reflection; they must be eager to embrace Virtue, and watchful to shun Vice: in a Word, be always dispos’d to do what is right, and never, with Design, do what is wrong. Here perhaps I should throw aside my Pen: if I have been so happy as to convince Parents of their first Mistakes in this important Work; those once rectify’d, the rest may be supply’d by abler Guides: for I neither have, nor pretend to have, the Power requisite to display or enforce those Virtues, the Knowledge and Observance of which make up the Measure of our Duty.

But to awaken Parents still farther, I must observe, that teaching their Children all the moral Duties is not only their Province, but more or less their Obligation. A learned and ingenious French Author says, that Parents are the best Instructors, if they themselves are well instructed. For, says he, “A Father who has but two or three accustom’d to respect him, finds no Difficulty in keeping them to their Duty. He has them constantly at home with him; he can take the Hours when they are most docible; he knows their Capacity, their Genius, and their Inclinations. He can instruct them at leisure, and allow the necessary Time for it.” And a little farther he adds; “What is here said of Fathers must in Proportion be understood of Mothers, principally in regard of their Daughters.” Here then I recommend to Parents that they do not content themselves with laying the Foundation, but labour on till the Superstructure is raised and the Design compleated. For as Men who justly aim at Reputation, and who desire to fill with Honour some Post or Profession, spare no Pains to qualify themselves for it; so those, who would fulfil the Design of Providence in making them Parents, must take care that they do not lead Children out upon the Stage of the World, and leave them to act their Part alone, till they have taught them those Duties that will best secure Happiness both to themselves and others.

It will still perhaps be expected that I should treat of the farther Means to effect this great End; but my Readers must remember, that besides my being unequal to the Task, besides my being confined to the Compass of a small Volume, these important Matters have already been handled by many abler Pens, to which I refer them. However, to answer in some measure a reasonable Expectation, and farther to prove the Sincerity of my Intentions, I will here touch on those Virtues which are universally allowed to be essentially necessary; and which all, who would be esteemed wise and good, must both know and practise.

We are now to suppose, that Children are considerably advanced; not only that their first Lessons were Obedience, but that their Minds have been tempered with Duty, and with such a Knowledge of Right and Wrong, as strongly to incline them to adhere to the one and avoid the other: we will suppose too, that their Reason, unblinded by Passion, has gained so much Strength as to be able to exert itself to advantage: that is, that those Perceptions and Distinctions, with many other things which natural Logic is capable of teaching, have so far improved their Understanding, and disposed their Will, that they are fitted to receive more important Lessons, and practise them when taught.

Prudence then comes first under Consideration: it implies such an orderly Conduct of our Words and Actions, as keeps us free from those Irregularities which hurt ourselves and offend others. Prudence is a Virtue attended with innumerable good Effects, but particularly as it frequently shuts the Door not only against Misfortunes, but against Injustice. It is not to be doubted but that the Prudent are sometimes unfortunate. A thousand Evils surround us, a thousand Darts threaten our Destruction, which cannot be obviated because they cannot be foreseen: still it is certain that Prudence keeps off many Calamities which would otherwise befall us.

But besides the Advantages arising from Prudence to ourselves, it makes us pleasing and useful to others. Men naturally love to converse with the Discreet; from them they learn the Art of shunning those Rocks which so many others have split on; from them they discover a safer Path to tread in; and from them they often labour to model their own Actions. Farther, the Prudent are not only pleasing, but valuable to Society. A prudent Man is esteemed by all who have any Dealing with him. Mankind have naturally an Attachment to their Property; therefore are they with great Reason inclined to trust it in the Hands of the Discreet, rather than the Indiscreet. Hence appears the Necessity of teaching Children the Nature and Advantages of Prudence; but as it is one of the graver Virtues, it seldom appears in young People, unless it be those who are so happy as to have prudent Parents, that labour to implant an early Habit of it in them.

There is a natural Consciousness in the Mind of Man of his own Significance; and where he takes Prudence for his Guide, some real Advantage may always be made of it. No Man is so high as not to require the Aid of those beneath him; no one so low but he may be useful to his Betters. Parents therefore instead of inculcating on their Children a false Pride, or raising in them a vain-glorious Flame, should give them a due Sense of others Significance and their own; this, accompanied with Prudence, will shew them the true light they stand in; shew them their just Distance from those above them, their Nearness to those beneath them. From this View will arise not only that genuine Self-knowledge so essentially necessary for their Conduct in Life, but that becoming Pride, which at the same time that it proves to them the Obligation of acting in some certain Sphere, animates them with Resolution to behave in it as they ought.

Prudence is a Check to Extravagance, Vice, and Folly; nay, it is often the Guide of virtuous Actions; for even Benevolence, Generosity, and Charity, Actions greatly noble in themselves, unless well directed, timed, and placed, will often be the Cause of others Ruin and our own. Prudence therefore, of all Virtues, may justly be call’d the Balance that keeps us from Extremes.

I have elsewhere observed how dangerous it is for Parents to rate their Children too high; nor is it less so to sink them too low: there is a certain Spirit to be maintained, without which our Children will degenerate into Meanness; there is a Degree of Dignity they must support, without which they will become not merely useless, but burthensome: Parents therefore must carefully attend to this, lest in avoiding one Evil they fall into another: And no Means so likely to gain the Medium, as Self-knowledge under the Direction of Prudence. By this they are check’d in the Pride of towering too high; and by this they are lifted from that Meanness which Sloth, Ignorance, or false Humility is apt to plunge them into.

Here I might expatiate on the Cruelty of some Parents, who use every body well but their own Children; who act not only the Sovereign, but the Brute, the Tyrant, and the Monster over those whom Nature calls on them to cherish, comfort, and love: and often, under the Pretext of making their Children humble, harrass them into Misery, and fix a Hatred to themselves. However, I will not pursue a Reflection so shocking to Nature; but rather hope that once to know it will be a sufficient Motive for it’s Banishment.

But of all the Advantages attending Prudence, there is none equal to the Bar it puts against the Rashness of young People in plunging themselves into the Mistake of an inconsiderate Marriage: and indeed were it the sure Means of preventing this Evil alone, it would both demand and deserve all the Attention of Parents to lead their Children into the Knowledge and Practice of it. How few are those whose Passions never rise above the Mark of Reason; how few whose Duty never nods; what Grief does such a mistaken Step bring on the Parents; what Care, what Sorrow, what Misery on the Children! Here, in the strongest Light, we may view the necessity of Prudence. Suppose a Father (one of some Figure and Circumstances) educates his Son suitable to his Condition in Life; and then engages him in Business, either as a Clerk, an Apprentice, or whatever Station occurs: at this Age, and in this Situation, he is exposed to a thousand Dangers; but particularly to that of a rash and an unequal Marriage. The young Fellow, if unguarded by Prudence, is open to all the Arts, the Smiles, the Hypocrisy of some one at least of the opposite Sex, who thinks it her Business to make her Fortune; while he, a Stranger to his own Heart, and ignorant of the Consequences of such a Step, involves himself in Sorrow, if not in Destruction. The transient pleasing Dream once past, he looks around him with Amazement! but ’tis now too late! the Chain is link’d, the Fetters are tied, and nothing but Death can break them! After various Contrivances to conceal the rash Deed, at length it reaches the Parents Ears. What a Scene of Affliction is here! Not the lively Picture of a Poet’s Fancy; not the fabled Representation of romantic Distress; but real Life overwhelmed with boundless Grief. A generous Father who has spared no Cost to promote his Son’s Felicity; a tender Mother, who with endless Anxiety has sought the fairest Prospect for her favourite Boy; view them alternately struggling with Love, and Rage, and Fear, and Resentment! What must they feel to see their Expectations frustrated, their utmost Wishes vanished, their darling Child undone! We say, it is dangerous to rouze a sleeping Lion; nor is it less so, to kindle the Resentment of Parents: for to be greatly exasperated is to fall into a Frenzy, which we cannot stop at Will. Thus it often happens with those whose Children precipitate themselves into Misery; their Rage becomes a continual Resentment, or an unconquerable Hatred. And alas! how dreadful are the Effects! What more common than for a Child to be banished from his Parents for a Step like this. I know not what Effect a Description may have on those who hear or read it, but, for my own Part, I think a Child, who thro’ such gross Folly and Disobedience has shut himself out from the Doors, the Hearts, the Affection of his Parents, is in the most calamitous Situation upon Earth.

But let us change the Scene. Let us suppose the Parents Grief subsided, or that Love and Pity have got the better of Resentment. How fares it with the disproportioned Couple? Does a Reconciliation with the Parents secure Happiness to them? Alas, no; they know but little of Life who conclude so. There is always Danger in Disparity, especially where Vanity or Ambition predominates. The Woman who is suddenly lifted up from a very low Condition, commonly makes but an aukward Figure; and what is worse, she is apt, in affecting to be like her Betters, to misuse the Dominion she is invested with; and, instead of demeaning herself like a good Wife, she becomes a Vixen, a Shrew or a Tyrant. Yet granting that none of these Evils happen, granting that a Woman has really Merit, and that the labours to improve her natural Talents, in order to suit them to her new Condition, there are still other Evils to fear. Reflection on past Folly naturally draws Resentment on the Object of it: and tho’ when two Parties once become Man and Wife, they are obliged to maintain Fidelity, Tenderness and Love to one another; yet Experience unhappily shews us that this Obligation is often violated. He who is extravagantly fond without Regard to Merit, will often be unreasonable without Provocation. Thus, when a Man, in his cooler Thoughts, compares what he is, with what he might have been; reflects on what he has lost in grasping imaginary Happiness, or views himself, thro’ a Disparity of Years, chained to faded Beauty, to declining Life, while himself is in his Bloom; not all the natural or acquired Merit of his Wife, not all the Tenderness that can flow from the sincerest Love will be able to balance his Disappointment: he frets, and swears, and raves, he breaks out into Extravagancies, which frequently end in the Destruction of them both; Destruction to their Peace, and Destruction to their Fortune.

Nor is this Portrait of private Woe the only one that can be represented. A thousand others might be produced, all essentially the same, all fraught with Misery, and only different in circumstances or Degree. To see the Heir of a great Estate forsake his Father’s Mansion, and marry the Dairy-maid; to see a young Lady trained up in all the Pomp and Pride of Wealth, throw herself into the Arms of a Man whose only Merit perhaps is a deceitful Tongue, or a borrowed lac’d Coat; or to see another steal to the Fleet and marry her Father’s Footman; are things so preposterous in their Nature, that one cannot reflect on them without shuddering.

Certain it is, that great Merit sometimes lies cover’d in Obscurity; and it is but justice to render it conspicuous, by raising the Possessors of it to an exalted Station. And farther, a young Man, who has with great Pains and Expence qualified himself to act in a genteel Profession, tho’ he should not have a Shilling in the World, has a Title to expect a Fortune with a Wife; nor does he know his own Significance if he neglects it: for allowing that the Woman he marries has Personal Merit, if they are balanced by the same good Qualities on his Side, the Prospect he has from his Trade or Profession is often more than an Equivalent for the Advantages he reaps by her Fortune. Nor is it these things I mean to inveigh against; what I condemn is in general far otherwise: we see a wild Flame seize our Youth, Inclination cherishes it, and they fall a Sacrifice to their Imprudence. How happy then are they whom Prudence guides; how consoling the Reflection, that by steering with this Pilot they escape the common Wreck.

Among the moral Virtues necessary to be inculcated, among the Obligations of Parents to their Children, nothing so much demands their Diligence, Attention and Regard, as the teaching them a Knowledge and a Love of Justice. How noble is this Virtue! how vast in it’s Extent! and, alas! how little is it practised! Some Virtues stand as it were alone, and may be separated from every other; but this, when understood and practised in it’s utmost Latitude, seems to unite almost every Virtue to itself. Justice teaches us all the Obligations we are bound to maintain in Society; now it is certain that these are many more than are generally understood. Men soon learn those things which the Laws take Cognizance of; and therefore, unless quite wretched or abandoned, avoid them; but what are these, if compared to many others which Nature, Reason and Reflection make us conscious of? What are these to the many Injustices which spring from Pride, Sloth, Lust, Avarice, Slander and Revenge? Surely nothing. But without enquiring what Actions evade the Law, or triumph over it, I will endeavour to give my Readers a true Idea of Justice; and point out to them the proper Steps for leading Children into the Exercise of it.

Here I cannot avoid returning back to the Infancy of Children, nor help reminding Parents of the Necessity of an early Care. Virtuous Principles are the best Foundation of virtuous Habits; and should the Seeds of Passion be too deeply rooted in our Nature to be extirpated, Reason, we know, has Power to keep them in Subjection. This premised, I recommend to Parents the utmost Assiduity in shutting out the very Source of Injustice; that is, they must counteract those Passions which tend to produce it; not only by inculcating the opposite Virtues, but by frequent Reflections on the Danger of cherishing irregular Desires.

Justice is to be considered as general and particular; and tho’ Mankind are apt to content themselves with a general Justice, yet it can never claim the Merit of an exalted Virtue, unless we both know and practise it in particular. To attain this Knowledge and Love of Justice, Children are to be taught, even before they can speak, to part with any thing they are in Possession of, and this readily, and without Clamour: the Effect of which will be, that when a little more advanced, and they can distinguish their own things from others, they will not eagerly desire the Property of a Brother, a Sister, or Play-fellow. The next Step is, that Parents avoid with the utmost Caution every the least Deceit, especially about Money, and every thing which discovers to their Children a Fondness for it. There is nothing more surprising to me, than the universal Disregard Parents have to the Presence of their Children; a thousand things in Life are necessary to be said and done which they, particularly while young, should not be Witnesses to; and yet are Parents every Day and Hour so impolitic and so imprudent, as not only to disclose their inmost Thoughts, but to transact the most improper, nay perhaps the most unjustifiable things before their Faces. As Children seldom have Judgment to distinguish, they can only catch Appearances. Now suppose a Man in a just Cause has played the Politician, and by the Force of Stratagem recovered his Right; can it be a proper Subject for Children to be in the hearing of? But should this Man have gone farther, and should he boast a Conquest unjustly gain’d, perhaps to the Ruin of another; what Effect must this have on the tender Minds of Children? Children in general act by Imitation; therefore, as far as can be, they should see nothing but what they may imitate. But farther, Children naturally think those things right which they see done by their Parents; therefore they should see no Action in them but what is really so. Farther still, Children, even under a virtuous Education, are surrounded with a thousand Incitements to Ill; their Eyes and Ears are continually open, and continually receive corrupt Impressions, which dart to the Mind and Heart of the most innocent: where then can they fly for an Antidote to this Poison? To whom shall they have recourse; or by whom shall they be furnished with Weapons for their Defence? By those to whom they are bound by every Tye; Parents alone must stop the Torrent of every Evil to their Children, not only by virtuous Precepts, but by virtuous Example. For as it is a certain Truth, that the Influence of Parents is more than a Balance for a thousand others, the Necessity of their opposing Vice with Virtue, is every way apparent: nor is it any where more so than in the noble Cause of Justice.

This Rule established, I must again repeat to Parents the avoiding before their Children every Appearance of Deceit, and every Fondness for Money. If Children are taught to deceive, they will be induced to practise it for the Sake of Gain; and if a Love of Gain be cherished in them, they will often use Deceit to acquire it. How apt are Parents to Wish for Money in their Children’s hearing; and this, not merely the Indigent, those who want many of the Comforts, the Necessaries of Life, but those who have already perhaps more than they make a good Use of. Tom, says a vain Father to his Son, had I ten thousand Pound, you should be the smartest Fellow in the Kingdom, ne’er a Lord in the Land should out-do you. Thus too, a doating Mother addresses her Daughter, What Pity it is my dear Nancy should not keep her Coach; so sweet a Girl! Oh! that I was but rich, you should marry nothing less than a Lord. What must be the Effect of this Language? Must it not inflame the Heart, or fly to the Head and make it giddy? most certainly. Nor does it stop here; for when this irregular Love of Money is once deeply rooted, irregular Steps will often be taken to make it thrive.

But to pursue the Idea of Justice, let me not confine myself to the Passions, but speak likewise to the Understanding. I will hope that Parents have shewn Children in Infancy the general Justice I have spoken of; the obvious Rules of Right and Wrong; and check’d in them every Shadow of Injustice: that is, that they have taught them never to meddle with Money, be it more or less, or with whatever else belongs to another; nor even to desire it; nor to be fond of dwelling on it, counting it, or chinking it; (for Money has a strange Effect on both Eyes and Ears:) never to put their Hands into another’s Pockets; much less to unlock a Scrutore: never to evade the Payment or Acknowledgment of a single Farthing; nor obtain unjustly even a Top, a Marble, or whatever can be called the Property of another. Farther, that as they advance, Parents inform them that there is a constant Intercourse between Man and Man: that Providence has created some to labour one way, some another; that the various Wants of Life are to be supplied by the Care, the Industry, and the Sagacity of each in their several Stations; that the Poor are destined to labour for the Rich, and the Rich to employ and reward the Poor: that some in fine are born to govern, others to be governed. That this Intercourse is called Society; and that Justice alone is the Band that connects and ties it; consequently, that he is the most valuable Member of Society, who despising selfish or sinister Views, who shunning the Tricks, the Frauds, the Villainies of others, resolves to make Justice his Rule of Action. That to this End, besides a general Knowledge of Property, and an Acquaintance with those Laws which are made to defend it; besides the adjusting Profits in Trade, stating Accounts fairly, and paying Debts regularly; there are still many things to be considered, some of which I will here endeavour to reason upon, as they visibly produce some certain kind of Injustice in their Effects, tho’ their Cause is often hid from common Eyes, or they are disguised by false or palliative Names.

The first Spring of Injustice is Pride. Children, as I have just observed, have their Minds impressed with a Love of Riches; whence naturally follows an undue Degree of Self-esteem, accompany’d with a Love of Power, Show, and Dignity: now to effect these, a thousand Stratagems are used; every Obstacle which stands in the Way to Wealth or Preferment must be overturned; every Difficulty must be removed. Hence it is easy to see that unjust Means will often be used to gain the desired End; and hence it is plain that those who ascend by indirect and violent Measures, crush down many others as they pass. Parents therefore to obviate this, must teach their Children that nothing can be lawful which injures others; that they may indeed arrive at Honours and acquire Riches; but that unless they are obtained without Guilt, and possessed without Pride, they cannot be just: for even allowing that no undue Means are used to support our Pride, there is Injustice riveted to the Vice itself; for the Proud, to raise themselves, always attempt to depress or debase others.

Another Cause of Injustice is Sloth. Providence has created us to labour; the Head, the Hands, the Feet, all are given to answer in some Degree the same End; that is, the Preservation of ourselves, and the Benefit of others. None are born to be idle, none who are so can with any Truth be said to fill up Life as they ought. Those who have Talents are bound to cultivate them as far as they have Opportunity, that they may counsel, instruct, or assist others: those who have Fortune cannot without Injustice neglect the Care, the Improvement, and the Distribution of it: those who have no Fortune, but enjoy Health and Limbs, are Robbers of Society if they refuse to work: and indeed among the various Objects of Sloth, those who exercise neither Head, nor Hands, nor Feet, but lounge and fawn and beg for a Subsistence, no Matter whether in Rags or Finery, are of all others the most mean, at the same time that they are grossly unjust. The Virtues opposite to this are, Industry, Application, and Oeconomy; which Parents must raise in their Children betimes, and cherish with Zeal and Pains.

A third Source of Injustice is Lust. What I have before said of an universal Regard to Decency both in Words and Actions must not be confined to the State of Childhood, but be enforced by Parents on their Children as Rules that are never to be departed from; since what is in it’s Nature wrong, nothing can make right: for if Innocence be a Virtue, which even the abandoned will hardly dispute, every Deviation from it must be more or less a Vice. As this then is a settled point, enlarging on it here is needless; my only Aim on this Head being to make some Reflections on the Vice when manifestly attended with Injustice.

It has been the Custom of every wise Nation both in their Writings and Conversation, to inculcate and enforce the finest Morals, the most important Truths under an Allegory or Fable; and where the Simile is natural and the Expression emphatic, nothing is more powerful. Suppose then a Father should lead his Son, as he approaches to Manhood, into a Garden, and thus address him. “View here, my dear Child, the Beauties of the Creation; see how abundantly the Earth is furnished with all that can contribute both to our Use and Delight. But besides the unmeasurable Bounty of Providence, behold the Gardener’s incessant Toil; what pains he takes to improve the Soil; with what early Care does he water each tender Plant; how watchful to secure them against destroying Vermin, and how anxious to defend his Flowers from Blasts! Now tho’ Providence has given to Man a Power over all the Works of the Creation, ’twas never meant he should abuse them. What then would you think of him who should pluck the choicest Flowers here, purely for the sake of destroying them? But should he go farther, and exercise a wanton Pleasure not only in stripping them of their Beauty, but in rendering them offensive and odious to all who see them? What, my Son, I say, would you think of such a Man? But Oh! my dear Boy, should this affect you, should this raise in you a Degree of Contempt; with how much Indignation must you behold the Wretch, who, with a Complication of Crimes has deflowered the fairest Part of the whole Creation: not an inanimate Rose, or Pink, or Lilly; but robb’d a spotless Virgin of her Innocence! Tremble, my dear, dear Child, tremble at the very Thought of so much Baseness! View with impartial Eyes the guilty Deed! On one side the Deceit, the Oaths, the Perjuries, and a thousand criminal Inventions to gain the desired End; on the other, the dreadful Change from Innocence to Guilt; from Honour to Infamy; from the Esteem of all, to the Contempt of all; and what is stranger still, forsaken and despised by the very Seducer himself! Yet Oh! my Son, let not these Reflections be made in vain; but draw Profit from others Crimes: examine them in their true Light; be not misled by those who palliate the blackest Actions with the specious Names of Wit, and Love, and Gallantry; but live in a Resolution never to share in their Guilt; never to injure another in the least Degree; but above all resolve to suffer a thousand Evils, to sacrifice every Passion, rather than even stain, much less destroy, the Flower of Innocence.”

These are Sentiments our Sons must be warmed with; these are Ideas of Justice they must not be Strangers to, if we wish to make them good Men, or desire to fulfil our Obligations as Parents. Innocence, wherever it resides, is an inestimable Treasure; two things therefore Parents have to do herein, viz. to teach their Children neither to destroy another’s Innocence; nor suffer others to sully theirs. The first has just been spoken of: I will only add, that the same Regard must be paid to all Degrees, whether high or low: it is the Vice we are to keep in view, not the Quality of the Person. ’Tis no Extenuation of the Crime, that a Gentleman’s Son seduced his Master’s Cook; or that a young Nobleman has ruined only a Tenant’s Daughter, or his Mother’s Chamber-maid; no, no, there are no Distinctions in Virtue’s Cause: that lost, there are always some to weep; the poorest have their Parents, their Relations, or their Friends, to lament their sad Mishap; and those who are robbed of what cannot be restored, have always their own Loss to deplore.

The next Care of Parents on this Head is, that they labour to preserve their Children’s Innocence from being tainted by others. One would imagine when Parents had taught their Children every Virtue, and enforced them by their own Example, their Duty would be compleat; but far from it; they have still the Obligation of representing to them the Snares, the Artifices, the Villainies of designing People. In my last View I have shewn that our Sons, either hurried by Passion, led by false Notions of Gallantry, or Strangers to Right and Wrong, are often the Instruments, or liable at least to be the Instruments, of others Destruction: in this I must touch on the Necessity Children are under of being defended from receiving Injuries. And here I must observe, that both Sexes are equally in Danger. The Girls indeed have by Nature and Education more Innocence, as well as more Tenderness; the Boys, tho’ more robust, have more Temptations. Men are the Instruments, and dreadful ones too, which chiefly destroy our Daughters; but bad Women on one hand, and corrupt Men on the other, combine to destroy our Sons. Let Parents then point out to them the Dangers they are exposed to, and furnish them with every Means for their Defence; let them shew that the Colours Vice is painted in are false and delusive; that however pleasing the Appearances are, the Effects are bitter; that our corrupt Imagination is extremely apt to mislead us, therefore they must not trust to this Guide, but seek Security from Reason and Reflection; that they must not rely on their own Strength, by exposing themselves to those who have the Subtlety and Cruelty to form Designs against their Virtue; and that, in these Cases, the greatest Proof they can give of their Courage is to run away, because their Passions naturally incline them to stay; that those, in a word, who wish to maintain their Virtue, must shun the Vicious: and where the Affairs of Life unavoidably expose them to the Company of such, let them by a constant discountenancing Deportment, shew their Disapprobation of every unbecoming Word or Action; whereby they will check, and often prevent, any Attacks on their Innocence. But farther, to enforce the Virtue of Innocence, let Parents shew their Children the Obligations they are under of preserving it; that besides the Insult offered to their Creator who made them rational Beings, and thereby distinguished them from the Brutes, their departing from it is an Injustice to themselves, an Injustice to their Parents, and to all those who have laboured to correct the natural Corruption of their Hearts, by instilling into them every virtuous Principle.

A fourth Cause of Injustice is Avarice: which implies an inordinate Love of Gain. Avarice puts on a thousand Shapes, and is to be found in Men of every Rank and every Age; but it is most apparent in the Rich and the Old: which is an Aggravation of the Vice; because the one have more than enough already, and the other have not long to enjoy the Fruits of it, even should they live to reap them. But what is most alarming in the Avaritious is, the extreme Danger of going beyond the Bounds of Justice; and what Dryden[5] says of Wits and Madmen may, by the easiest Change,[6] be apply’d without Impropriety to the Covetous and the Dishonest. How many Schemes are formed, how many Devices used to raise a Fortune, or to add Hoard to Hoard? One circumvents another in Trade; and with more than savage Cruelty, abuses the Power he has by keeping those under that might otherwise flourish; and had rather see another starve, than himself be deprived of what he does not want. A second burns with a Thirst of Gaming, and values himself for his superior Parts, if he can trick another out of his Money at Play; regardless of the dreadful Consequences attending the Loss; and regardless of the Injustice of the Acquisition. How do they possess their Minds who have raised their Fortune on another’s Ruin? Do they ever reflect on the Misery of their wretched Companion; or do they view the Distress of his Wife, his Children, and his suffering Creditors? Surely if the Gamester did this, even he who wins, and wins by a fair Bet, and equal Lay, must tremble at Riches thus acquired: but if to this be added the Traps, the Snares, and other Artifices to draw in weak or unwary Men to their Ruin, what must we think of such Wretches? We may both pity and condemn the Ruined, but we must abhor those who caused it, however great their false Triumph may be. A third takes the Advantage of Distress or Weakness, and lends his Money, not with Kindness, but with a sordid View: these are the Men who grasp at Mortgages for the sake of fore-closing; and get Possession of an Estate for half it’s Value; who inveigle a Widow that they may ruin her Affairs, and enrich themselves; or get a Guardianship that they may beggar the Children. A fourth, sensible what Power Riches give him, employs it to the harrassing and depressing all beneath him; these are those who to add to their superfluous Wealth suck the Blood and Vitals of the Poor, by reducing their just Pay, and defrauding them of their Wages; or who with inhuman Scorn depreciate that Merit which others possess; or crush it in it’s Appearance. But how shall Parents, who perhaps may not live to be Witnesses to these Actions, prevent them in their Children? The Answer is easy. Imprint on them an early Love of Justice; and as they advance, shew them the various Ways of deviating from it; that by viewing these things in their true Light, they may conceive a just Horror of Crimes so detestable in themselves, and so destructive to Society.

A fifth Source of Injustice is Slander. There are Men who would not game another out of his Money, nor forge a Deed, tho’ they could obtain his Estate with Security, nor run him thro’ the Body; yet shall, without Scruple, butcher his Reputation with Slander. An unbecoming Levity of Conversation and Behaviour is natural to many, who thereby do great Harm without once being aware of it; but this, tho’ a great Evil in Society, is Innocence, if compared with the Malevolence of others. There are Men of such rancorous Hearts, of such malicious Natures, that they seem to have nothing human but the Form; Wretches, who, to gratify their Spleen, or to indulge a Pique, tear in Pieces the Good-name of those whose Merit is perhaps superior to their own. All the moral Writers condemn this censuring, cruel Humour; and a celebrated dramatic Poet[7] describes very beautifully the superior Loss of Reputation to that of Riches. A Man that is robbed on the High-way sees his Loss, and knows the worst of it; but he who is levelled at from afar, or receives a Stab in the dark, neither discovers his Enemy, nor knows where the Mischief will end. In the great Family of the World, every one is furnished with Means for his Support, be it more or less; all are in some Degree possessed of Power, Genius, or Abilities to procure, if not a Fortune, at least Subsistence; with what Face then does Mankind dare to frustrate the Intention of Providence, by robbing another of that Reputation which he is labouring to establish, and by which alone he is enabled to support his Wife, his Children, and himself. With what Pretensions, or by what Authority do they presume to strip another of the Merit he is possessed of? If I have less Merit than another, let me labour to equal him; should I perchance have more, let me not rob him of the little he is possessed of. But Men of this detestable Spirit imagine, that in making others little, they render themselves great; and thus unjustly use the Power they are invested with, by abusing their Hearers Ears; prostituting their own Tongues to the Destruction of others; and, lest Words should sometimes be ineffectual, they add Nods, Winks, Shrugs, and whatever can express Malice, Hatred, or Contempt. Pure Morality teaches us to throw a Veil over others Faults; but Justice demands that we stifle not their Virtues, much less pervert them: that is, we should be ready to acknowledge the Merit due to them, but cannot deny it without the basest Injury.

Behold then what Justice requires of us! Parents who teach their Children a Knowledge of Property, who inspire them with a Resolution never to invade it in others, who teach them a Fairness in their Dealings, an Exactness in paying their Debts, and a just Detestation of the Tricks of sophisticating Goods, particularly Drugs, Wine, Food, and those things that often elude our Senses, or affect our Health; who teach them to obey the Laws of their Country, in avoiding all clandestine Trade, all Commerce in prohibited or contraband Goods, and make them ashamed of such Employments as require them to steal their Way through the World, or skulk about in the dark; those Parents, I say, who do this, do well: but that is not enough; they must check, nay conquer a babling censorious Disposition, and create in its stead that generous Tenderness for others that they would wish to meet with themselves: but above all, they must inspire their Hearts and Lips with Justice, and imprint on their Souls a Sense of the Baseness of Detraction, Calumny, and Slander.

Before I quit this Head, I must touch on a Species of Injustice diametrically opposite to that we have been censuring: my Readers will perhaps be surprized when I say it is Silence. So much is due to the Cause of Justice, that we cannot always be silent without a Breach of it. Men complain, and very justly, that true Honour is rare to be found; yet, while this is granted, we must observe, that false Honour reigns in it’s stead; but my Purpose here is, to consider how far it is an Act of Injustice.

When a Man sets about a lawless Enterprize, his first Care is to engage what he calls a Friend to second his Attempts, or at least to promise him Secresy; but, to make it succeed, the Party employed is to be a Friend on both Sides: here then is a manifest Injustice in the Silence of the third Person, however innocent he may be otherwise. But what is the Principle they act upon? Honour. What! shall I betray my Friend! has he not reposed a Confidence in me? he has; and I will be faithful to it. Who can reflect on the fatal Effects of this false Friendship, this mistaken Honour, without trembling? Who is there, with any Knowledge of the World, that has not seen Sorrow, Guilt, Destruction brought on Families by the Connivance of a Servant, the Silence of a Brother, and the Weakness of a Sister? What Barbarity in a favourite Maid to be the Instrument of a young Lady’s Ruin, by conveying a Scrub into the very Family whose Bread she eats; or at least sees her on the Brink of it, without speaking a Word for her Preservation? How dreadful are those Friendships, how preposterous that Silence, where a young Gentleman sees his Companion, his Fellow-Clerk, levelling at the Destruction of an innocent Girl, and not have the Soul to declare the guilty Design till too late? Or, finally, where is the Sense, the Good-Nature, or the Justice of her who sees a Brother taking fatal Steps, about to injure another’s Virtue, or marry a Beggar, or ruin himself, and, as far as he has Power, his Parents too, without once striking at the Root, by discovering his vicious Intentions and Practices? Who that can distinguish Right from Wrong, but must see the Injustice of this Silence? Parents therefore should animate their Children with a Resolution never to enter into these false Friendships, never to promise what is in it’s Nature wrong, nor ever to promote or connive at another’s Harm, if in their Power to redress or prevent it. But farther, Parents, in forming their Children’s Minds, are in many Cases to adapt their Instructions to the Station of Life they are expected to act in. Those of Condition must not see their Parents injured, especially in a Matter of any Moment, and neglect to remove the Fault: those who are to serve, besides Duty and Respect, owe Justice; therefore must not only be faithful in their own Actions, but discover any real Injustice in those of others; and particularly they must detest with honest Scorn the being privy to an underhand Match. Laying Schemes, conveying Letters, Concealments from the Parents, or Denials where Danger is suspected, or otherwise contributing to the Ruin of a young Master or Lady, even tho’ they could make their own Fortune by being in the Secret, are Actions ever to be shunned, as they are base in their Nature, and grossly unjust.

The last Source of Injustice is Revenge. I have said before, that pure Morality teaches us to throw a Veil over others Faults; I may with equal Truth say, it obliges us to forgive Injuries. For altho’ it is a Justice due to ourselves to maintain our Right, yet the same Self-Justice requires us to forgive those by whom we have been wrong’d. If we can remove an Injury, we may, and ought; but Revenge is not the Weapon we are to use for that Purpose. Whatever fires our Revenge, is apt to cloud our Reason; Men therefore who meditate Revenge, seldom have Reason for their Guide; and he who forsakes Reason, is a bad Judge how far Revenge should be carried. If we mentally survey a revengeful Man, how melancholy is the View! What Agitations in his Mind! what Flutterings in his Heart! All Nature seems convulsed within him! and, in the Midst of his Self-torture, his only Thoughts are, whether he shall ruin, or be ruined; murder, or be murdered! But if we go farther, and behold this Man in the Action he has so eagerly sought for, or carry our Ideas to the Consequences of it, we must tremble with Pity. His Countenance is an Index of his Mind: what Fury on his Brow; what Fire darts from his Eyes; what Malice, in confused, imperfect Accents, flows from his Lips; and what frantic Rage possesses his Soul! Sometimes a Duel is to repair the Injury; dreadful Situation! since whichsoever falls, the Calamity is inexpressible. Who can recall the Blood once spilt, the Life once lost? who can console the wretched Survivor, when Revenge is glutted, and Reflection calls him back to himself? or can the Receiver of the Challenge draw Consolation in his future Life, from a false Point of Honour? no, no; it is all Delusion; and independent of the Crimes which gave rise to it, the Deed itself is gross Injustice. Revenge puts on many Shapes: some seek it not in Blood, yet, with equal Fury, hunt another to Ruin and Death by unjust Law-suits. What Havock does this make! How many fall from Affluence to Want, from Splendor to a Goal, thro’ the Inveteracy of Revenge! Not all the Concessions of the opposite Party, not all the Tears of his Wife, nor the impending Ruin of his Children, can appease the Revengeful: Savage-like, he quits not his Hold till his Fury is glutted, till his Adversary is destroyed. Besides these, there are many other Species of Revenge, less obvious indeed, but perhaps not less criminal: there are Men whose Fury is less, but whose Malice is equal: Men with cooler Heads, but with inveterate Hearts. Injuries, whether fancied or real, seize the Heart of the Revengeful, and having once taken place, a thousand things are machinated for Retaliation of the Offence: every good Office ceases; ill Offices take place of them; cruel to their Character when absent; arrogant and disdainful to their Person when present; their Reputation torn to Pieces; false Constructions put on their most innocent Actions; and every sinister Means used to strip them of Fame, and Fortune; nay even of Bread. See here the dreadful Passion of Revenge; view the Cruelty on one Side, the ruinous Effects on the other. What Care then should Parents take to banish it from their Children’s Hearts, seeing it is the Source of Misery to themselves, and Destruction to others! Let them labour to stifle the first Resentments; let them speak to their Understandings as they advance. Youth is naturally full of Fire, and as now their Judgment is weak, they are easily misled by false Notions of Honour; but where Malice is found to reside in their Hearts, it will demand the utmost Pains to root it out: still all should aim at effecting it. To this End, besides checking the earliest Resentments, let Parents paint in the liveliest Colours the Deformity of Revenge; let them shew how much it destroys their own inward Peace; let them counteract the Passion by encouraging in them Meekness, Clemency and Love; and above all, prove to them how much they sink beneath the Dignity of Human Nature, how much they injure themselves, and how unjust they are to Society in every Action that is accompanied with Revenge; but particularly where Life, Health, Fame, Peace, or Property are affected by it.

Thus much have I said to shew the Necessity Parents are under of teaching their Children the Knowledge and Love of that great Bond of Society, Justice: it demands indeed much more Labour to discuss every Point; but I persuade myself, that if their Hearts are duly impressed with the Principles here laid down, they will be animated to know and practise every other Act of Justice which their various Stations in Life offer them the Occasions of. Virtues beget Virtues; one Act of Equity will lead them to a second; a second will warm them to the Execution of a third; a Self-denial of little irregular things, will make way for the Entrance of Reason; and Reason exercised on the solid Principles of Justice, will enable them to conquer every lawless Desire, every turbulent Passion.

Notwithstanding what has been said thro’ the Course of this Attempt, of conquering our Passions, it is not to be understood that we are to be passive, spiritless, and insipid; far from it; this would be frustrating the Design of Providence. We are, under Reason’s Guide, to enjoy our own Minds with honest Freedom; and he who has a warm Heart, a chearful Mind, and a frank Behaviour, bids fairest for being a good Man. But what irresistibly proves us design’d for an active State, is, the Virtue of Fortitude. Fortitude is Patience improv’d; it is Courage exalted; it is that Virtue which enables us not only to bear Sickness, Pain, Disgrace, and Poverty, but arms us with Power either to conquer these Evils, or at least so to weaken their Force that they may not bear too hard upon us. In viewing Mankind in general, or if each views himself in particular, it will be found that Life is imbitter’d a thousand Ways; all have their own Troubles, all feel their different Sufferings; some indeed taste so little of the Sweets of Life, or have them so strongly impregnated with Sorrows, that they are scarce sensible of their Relish: Fortitude alone then is the Remedy for these Evils; and therefore should be the Object of every one’s Study. With this Weapon we are enabled to face every Danger, to encounter every Trouble, and to struggle with every Difficulty: it is the Instrument Providence has kindly put into our Hands; and not to use it, is the highest Ingratitude, at the same time that it is being ignorant of our own Happiness. Parents then cannot justify the Neglect of this Virtue to their Children: and it is from this Knowledge of Life, that I have already proposed, in Compassion and Regard to their future Happiness, that they familiarize them, with all the Tenderness of good Parents, to little Disappointments while young; that they may be arm’d to bear greater as they ought. All irregular Desires we should disclaim from our Hearts; but even with regard to those which are in their Nature innocent, lawful, and reasonable, how often are we disappointed! How then will Children, as they advance, struggle with Disappointments, if Strangers to the proper Guide, if unacquainted with Fortitude?

But here I must observe, that many things are looked upon as grievous Evils, which, if considered in a proper Light, are no Evils at all: and to what is this owing? certainly to the erroneous Measures taken at setting out. The Eagerness of Children after every new Trifle, the Desire of engaging in whatever is called Pleasure, and the early Passion for Dress and Show, make them earnest to have their Humour comply’d with. Now as many of these things are highly improper, gratifying their Demands must be an Error more or less; but this is the least Part of the Evil: the Habit of having all they desire increases with their Years; and without considering, whether the Things they seek are necessary or reasonable, they pursue their Desires, and are wretched when disappointed. Hence arise many of the Passions which disturb the Oeconomy of Families, and fill the World with Disorder: Men disappointed in their Business, and cross’d in their Will, burst into Rage, or contract a Fretfulness which makes them unhappy in themselves, and painful to all who see or feel the Effects of it: and Women who have been used in Childhood to conquer their Parents, and in Youth all the World, who have been constantly addressed in the language of Romances, and have been vainly taught to think the Men their Slaves; Women, I say, who are thus educated, are but very ill prepared to meet Disappointments: the first Opposition throws them into Fits, whence follow Vapours, Melancholy and Indolence; the next kindles their Resentment, which agitates the Mind, spoils the Features, by tearing off the natural Softness of the Countenance, and puts the sweetest Temper into a Ferment; and, if a Husband be the Object of it, ’tis great Odds but a short Time creates either an unjust Coldness, or a fixed Aversion. Mr. Locke, sensible of the Danger of irregular Indulgence, thus describes the Situation of a fondled Son. “He that hath been used to have his Will in every thing as long as he was in Coats, why should we think it strange that he should desire it, and contend for it still, when he is in Breeches? Indeed, as he grows towards a Man, Age shews his Faults the more; so that there are few Parents then so blind as not to see them, few so insensible as not to feel the ill Effects of their own Indulgence. He had the Will of his Maid before he could speak or go; he had the Mastery of his Parents ever since he could prattle; and why, now he is grown up, is stronger and wiser than he was then, why now of a sudden should he be restrained and curbed? Why must he at seven, fourteen, or twenty Years old, lose the Privilege, which his Parents Indulgence till then so largely allowed him?” From all this it is evident, that the early planting of regular Desires, checking the Growth of vicious ones, and subjecting Passion to Reason, are the great Means to lay the Foundation of Happiness in our Children, and the surest Fence against many Evils they would otherwise be exposed to: but if after all this, Sorrow, Pain, Disappointment, or Poverty be their Lot, let Parents teach them to meet it as they ought; teach them with the firmest Resolution, with unshaken Constancy, to bear up against the rude Attack; and teach them that the only way to lessen the Evils they cannot avoid, is to adhere inseparably to that heroic Virtue Fortitude.

I am now led to speak of Temperance; the calmest Companion of the Heart of Man. Temperance is the Virtue that bridles our irregular Desires; it is nearly ally’d to Prudence, and has a close Connection with Justice; it calms Revenge, and quenches the Fire of unjust Resentment; it checks the Epicure, and stops the riotous Hand of the Bacchanalian; it extinguishes or abates the Flames of Lust, and banishes every lawless Action; it silences the flippant detracting Tongue, and gives in it’s stead a pleasing Moderation of Speech; it shuts the Door against Avarice, and proves experimentally, that Happiness does not consist in the eager Pursuit or Acquisition of Riches, but in a contented Mind; it curbs that strongest of all other Passions, Gaming, and distinguishes justly the Absurdity and Folly of making that a dangerous Trade, which was only designed as a Relaxation and an Amusement: Temperance, in a word, is the Parent of many Virtues; the Parent of Peace, Prosperity, Health and Joy. But while these are Truths acknowledged and received, how comes it that we know so little of the Practice of them? How comes it that in general these are mere Matters of Speculation? Alas! the Spring is tainted in the Source. We are intemperate in our very Cradles; no wonder therefore if we remain so our whole Lives. We are born with irregular Appetites; and which, thro’ Errors in Judgment, or mistaken Fondness, are daily rendered still more so. But let us leave these melancholy Reflections, and consider the Advantages we enjoy, the Privileges we are invested with. Providence, kind Providence, has given us Reason for our Guide; and Reason will conduct us to Temperance.—Nothing can be more strange to all Observation, than the Practice of forsaking Temperance; since every Day’s Experience proves to us, that Intemperance produces the very opposite to what we seek. Suppose when a Child is born, we ask the Parents what it is they wish in that Child; they will answer, Life. But as Life alone, that is, mere Existence, may by Infirmity or other Accidents be very wretched, they will naturally wish for Health and Happiness. Well then, Life, Health, and Happiness, are the general Wishes of Parents for their Children. Now let us see how their Wishes are likely to succeed. Their first Step is usually a shameful Neglect of the Food of Nature, the Breast; the next, a blind Gratification of their Will; the third, an almost total Neglect of their Manners; and a fourth, the cherishing in them every irregular Affection. Where then is the Wonder that Parents are disappointed? Life and Health depend on proper Food and other judicious Management on one part; and if sick, an Obedience to Remedies on the other part; and Happiness essentially depends in the first place on Health; in the next, on the due Government of our Senses, Affections and Passions. See here how Mankind deviate from themselves; how far they depart from their own Principles. But what then is the Remedy? nothing more obvious. Let Parents exercise their Reason in all the Steps they take for their Children’s Welfare; let them examine Right and Wrong; let them not only avoid Passion, but labour to correct their own Errors of Judgment, that they may be the better enabled to prevent them in their Children; but particularly, let them fix in them the Knowledge, Love, and Habit of Temperance.

These Rules will doubtless be an Infringement on those Liberties Parents usually take in indulging their Children’s Stomachs; and it will be a greater in the Restraint it lays on their growing Passions: but they must convince them of the Purity of their Intentions by speaking to their Understandings; not all at once, but by Degrees, as they open and gain Strength; so that Step by Step they may point out to them the Loveliness, the Pleasure, and the Advantages of this uncommon Virtue. I say nothing here of the State of Childhood, because it is already understood that Parents have their Children’s Health regulated by proper Management, and their Minds docile thro’ the Force of Obedience; but when Dress, Pleasure, Company, Feasting, or whatever subjects us to be intemperate, come into Play, as they are Actions which always cause a Struggle, more or less, between Passion and Reason, it demands the greatest Care and Attention of Parents to win them to a Love of Temperance.

An easy Submission to our Lot in Life is one of the greatest Attainments towards Happiness. View a young Lady with a strong Passion for Dress; every new thing strikes her; one Companion has a richer Silk than herself; another has the sweetest Lace she ever saw; a third has Ear-rings ten times handsomer than her own; she burns with Impatience to equal them, and that granted, new things arise, and the others are old tho’ not worn out; that is, her Relish for them is lost. Thus a continual round of Fashions keep her incessantly anxious; and tho’ perhaps she possesses every thing, she enjoys nothing. Not so the calmer well-instructed Fair; she considers that Propriety of Dress is what suits her Station; and covets not another’s Jewels: she wears, without a Blush, a meaner Silk than her meaner Companion; and free from the Extremes of Negligence or Pride, she is qualify’d for all the Dignity that Dress can give her; but is equally happy in an inferior Appearance. Thus too it happens with our Sons: One is in the continual Pursuit of Pleasure, has a thousand Contrivances to reach a Play, a Ball, or a Horse-race; and is miserable if these things are going on without him: while another, awaken’d by Reason, and check’d by Temperance, takes these things as they come; and neither insipidly refuses the Chearfulness of an Entertainment, nor is disturb’d of his Rest, or loses either his Temper or his Appetite, if he is disappointed. Such is the Difference between Passion and Reason, such the genuine Effects of Temperance.

Temperance, as I observ’d before, is closely connected with Justice; that is, whatever thro’ Intemperance affects our Health, or endangers our Lives, must be unjust. What can be more amazing than the false Judgment of Mankind even in the most obvious things! All allow that we have no Right voluntarily to throw away that Life which Providence has given us; on the contrary, we are bound to support it, even under the Pressure of Pain and Sorrow, to the last Moment. How comes it then that while this is acknowledged, while Men justly shrink with Horror at the very Thought of Self-murder, they have the Hardiness to dally with some murderous Instrument? All the Arguments that are brought against Suicide, whether by Sword, Pistol, Laudanum, or Arsenic, hold good, in some Degree, in the Point before us. The oftener a Building is shock’d, the sooner will it decay; the more Violence is us’d to a delicate Machine, the sooner will it be destroy’d; and no Machine is so exquisitely delicate as Man. Now as every Species of Excess, Riot, and Debauchery, is a Shock given to our Frame, it must naturally impair our Health, and consequently shorten our Lives. Many things tend to effect this, that Men in general are Strangers to; but there are others they are too sensible of, yet attempt not to remove, nay plunge themselves into. Here then appears the Necessity of Temperance; here we see the great Obligation of Parents to their Children in this Point: since they are not only accountable for their Happiness, but even for their Health and Lives. To conclude, let Parents in inculcating this Virtue dissuade their Children from every irregular Attachment, and convince them that no intemperate Affections are justifiable; that besides avoiding those irregular Passions which may be said to reside in the Soul, there are others that dwell on the Senses, equally capable of destroying us; particularly an unhappy Attachment to sleeping, eating, drinking, and many other things in their Nature not only innocent but indispensably necessary; yet, by the frequent grievous Abuse of them, made the Instruments of our Destruction.

These are the things I had to offer on the Part of Manners; these are the Steps I have already in great measure taken with my own Children, and these the Sentiments I wish to inspire them with. If therefore, as general Laws, they are equally applicable to others, my presenting them in Print will, I hope, be consider’d with the same Candour they are offered. But notwithstanding what has already been said, Parents have still much to do. To keep up the Spirit of Government, they must constantly remember that Nature and Reason are to be their Guides: if we distort Nature, our Children will be preposterous Figures; and if we banish Reason, they will be Brutes or Monsters. Parents must remember too, that it is not for themselves that they labour to train up their Children in Order, Obedience, and Knowledge; there must be no self-pointed Views, no Pride, no Dispositions to tyrannise over their own Flesh and Blood; these are Motives unworthy a Place in any Parent’s Breast. Their principal Aim must be to make their Children happy, by making them wise and good; and if they succeed herein, so much Happiness will be reflected back on themselves as will amply reward all their Labours. But they must not stop even here; tho’ this Design is noble, they should have a nobler yet in view; that is, the universal Good of Mankind: ’tis too narrow a Good that seeks itself alone; Children must therefore be animated by their Parents with all those Virtues that will make them dear and valuable to Society. Now what Chance is there that Children will come on the Stage of Life with the necessary Requisites, unless due Pains are taken to mould and temper their Hearts, to form their Minds, and cultivate their Understandings? Mr. Pope, after labouring to prove for what End we are in being, what Good we are to pursue, and what Evil avoid, concludes, “that all our Knowledge is ourselves to know.” If then this Self-knowledge is of such vast Importance for the securing our Happiness even in a moral Sense, and is so very difficult to be attained; surely Parents are under the highest Obligation to their Children of improving every Means within their Reach, for the gaining this only true Philosopher’s Stone. The End, as Philosophers agree, is the first thing in the Intention; but the Means to attain that End are surely, in the Case before us, either but little known, or little practised; else we should not see such daily and grievous Mistakes committed in the training up our little Offspring; nor such a continued Chain of Vice, Folly, and Ignorance, as is the general Result of this mistaken Manners, this want of Self-knowledge.

But here I must caution my Readers not to bewilder themselves in a Maze of fancied Difficulties; not to throw aside these Instructions as useful or practicable to none but those of Genius, Learning, and great Abilities: the Light of Nature and Reason beams strongly on us all; and Parents, as I have before observed, have it greatly in their Power to regulate their Children’s Conduct: for after all, it must be confessed, that it is not so much that Parents do not know, as that they want the Will, to act rightly. But I hope, that such as are really ignorant, will here, in some measure, be informed; such as already know, will here be induced to practise: since by avoiding the Errors too generally run into, so much solid Good will ensue. But, to return back again: where or how are we to begin? Why—(as has already been advanc’d) by Authority. Authority is undoubtedly the first Means towards attaining this great End; the other Means are, a steady Attention to the various Tempers of our Children; a strict Guard over our own Conduct; a watchful Eye on theirs; joined to a serious Practice of every Lesson for their Improvement: to which we are to add, such an Education as is suitable to our Sphere in Life.