His credit becomes suspected by his exorbitant manner of living in Drinking, Whoring, Gaming, &c. He thinks to sawder up that crack by Marriage; he is deceived both in Person and Portion.

Returning to my own Habitation, I found that my so long absence had raised a jealousie in my Neighbours breasts, that I was run away; which rested not there, but spread like a Canker, so that this flying report came to some of my Creditors ears, which made them both impatient and importunate with me for their moneys; I wondered whence proceeded their unexpected haste. Some that would not be put off with promises, I was forced to pay; from others I obtained a little longer forbearance, which gave me but liberty to prosecute my former courses. If I was at the Tavern, I was either drunk, ingaged in a quarrel, and so involv’d in blood; or else at play, if not at a Bawdy house, which places I could not refrain from frequenting, though I kept one of my own at home. For I would not entertain a Maid, but what was more than ordinarily handsome, whom I commonly vitiated either by presents, or promises if I got them with child. When I was weary of one, I paid her off, with some additions to her wages, and entertain’d another, who would in a short time be wrought upon as well as her predecessors, being ambitious to lie with her Master, and vainly hoping that to be the first step to her preferment, thinking of nothing but presently marrying, and so be Mistress. In three years that I lived as a Master I had nine illegitimates, which I knew, four whereof were begotten of my Maids, which put me to a vast expence. Two of the Mothers would have forced me to have married them, or allowed them competent maintenance (for they were subtil cunning baggages) had I not by a wile got them aboard a Vessel bound for Virginia, and never heard of them since. Besides two or three terrible Claps, which cost me a considerable sum in their cure. This distemper, as it caused a consumption in my Pocket, so it impaired my wonted strength, and almost spoiled my natural Talent.

I now began to be sensible of my folly, and so resolved to take up in time, and redeem by degrees my lost credit by a temperate sober life; but that I found I had wasted my self extremely, by which means I became lesse capable of reacting what I had before done, and my mind in a manner satiated, I question whether I should have had now such penitent thoughts. For a while I kept my Shop diligently and constantly; I would not drink with any but at home; my sudden alteration made people admire, and the suddennesse of my reformation was the common discourse of all my Neighbours: The Parson of our Parish hearing of my strange alteration, came to me, which I admired at; for before, he that had the least care or respect of his Reputation, would avoid all occasions of being seen in my company, lest they might be suspected extravagant and deboist.

The shortness of his hair declar’d him a member of the Circumcision, but his triple cap, or three caps on his head, shew’d, though he hated the very name of Rome or Babylon, yet he lov’d formerly a Whore in private, though common. His Cloak was fac’d down with zeal before, and his Band appear’d but as a broad hem, to shew that a hem, with two or three formal spits, or a feigned Cough, was the usual supply of his discourse, when he had thrasht himself in his Cloak out of breath in the Pulpit. His looks resembled the bleer-ey’d Printing at Geneva (and his face like that sort of ragged paper on which they work off their impressions. After he had set his face into a Platform, he delivered himself. I shall not relate exactly his own canting words, or what he borrowed from Scripture, being sensible, non est tutum ludere cum sacris, but give you the substance, which was first a reproof for my extravagancies: secondly, some general instructions, (pickt out of a common-place Book) for my future practice: and lastly, some encouragements drawn from various motives to proceed (without looking back) toward a good life: on which three points he ran divisions strangely, till Dinner-time, and then his stomach petitioned him to shut his mouth, lest it should be deprived of its appetite by receiving in too much air.

In this seeming strictness of life I lived two or three months, and now some began to have charitable thoughts of my Soul: & that I might regain my runnings out by future diligence and industry.

I had several Matches offered me, which I saw, but liked them not; for I had always been a general lover, and could not now come to particulars. At last it was my misfortune to see one, whom I was wisht to; and which at first sight robbed me at once, both of my self and good company.

Formerly I was pleasing and affable, desirous and desired of good society, but never lived till now an Anchorite on earth. Neither did I ever till now tie up mine eyes to one particular face, giving them free liberty to wander. But now at last I fell from my primitive liberty, losing it totally, by dotage on a Creature, and that a Woman too: a just judgement on me for my manifold sins, to throw this thing in my way for me to stumble at. And it will appear in its due place that she was a bow’d token of my Maker’s displeasure sent me, for she was Crooked.