He falls in love with a wealthy Widow, who is poetically inclined; he courts her, and in a short time enjoys her, and after that ingratefully leaves her, carrying away what ready money she had.

Having gained so much money by my own industry and sole procurement, I resolved neither to acquaint my Brethren therewith, nor associate my self any longer with them, being so encouraged by this success, that I concluded I might atchieve gallant things by my self: being belated one night, & some miles from any town, I knockt at an house that stood in my road, imagining it at first a publick house for entertainment; one of the servants coming to the door, I found it no such thing: she demanded my business: Prithee sweet heart (said I) acquaint your Master, that there is a Gentleman requests the civility of a nights lodging: she goes in and informs her Mistress what I said; who came to me with much respect, telling me, She questioned not but I was a Gentleman, and therefore should be welcome to the mean accommodation she was capable of shewing. I rendred her many thanks, and so alighted; strict order was given to the Groom, that he very carefully lookt after my horse: this being done, I was conducted into a very fair room; there did I make my apology in the best Rhetorick I had, for I perceived she was endued with ingenuity, by the quaintness of her expressions; Ex pede Herculem: Many things I forged, as that the ways being dangerous, I was fearful to adventure any farther, having a great charge upon me. Such was her urbanity, that laying aside all niceties, she bore me company till it was time to go to bed, entertaining me all this while with what the house afforded, which was beyond my expectation. Every glass of wine, or bit almost, that I committed to my mouth, she ushered thither with some Apothegm or other: the whole series, indeed, of her discourse, was composed of nothing but reason or wit, which made me admire her; which she easily understood, I perceived by her smiles, when she observed me gaping, as it were, when she spoke, as if I would have eaten up her Words. As her soul was beautiful, sparkling with celestial ornaments, so was the caskanet that contained it very fair, and enricht with Natures chiefest gifts: She was very clear skin’d, well bodied; a sharp piercing eye, a proportionable face, an exceeding small and white hand; and then she lispt a little, which became her so well, that methought it added a grace to the rest of her internal and external qualifications. Being about ten o’clock, she advised me to repose my self, supposing I was weary. I condescended, though with much regret to leave her so soon; but good manners would not permit me to do otherwise. She conducted me to my Chamber, where bidding me good night, she betook her self to her own Chamber. That night I could hardly sleep, not so much for pure love, as the heat of lust; next morning, very early, I heard her stirring, which made me wonder; but she told me afterwards, that she got up so soon, fearing I should have gone away, and she not take her leave of me. About eight in the morning, the Maid brought me up a Sack-posset; and a little after, her Mistress came, courteously saluting me, and enquiring how I slept: I return’d an answer, in as handsom terms I could utter: her eyes plainly discovered to mine, that she had more then a common respect for me. Having left me a while, I arose, and made my self ready for my journey: after several discourses which she had ingaged me in, purposely to delay time, with much gratitude I took my leave, she attending me to the court: my horse being brought out, halted down-right (she had caused him to be prickt in the foot, to the intent I might stay longer.) Not knowing what to say or do, Well, Sir, said she, since the unhappy accident hath fallen out so unexpectedly, make use of my house, & what is in it, till your horse be recover’d of his lameness. This was a proposition that my soul longed for; wherefore I could not but shew much satisfaction in the acceptation of this proffer. We walkt in again, & prosecuted for diversion sake our former discourse, interlining it with some love-touches at a distance, which she would frequently descant on pleasantly. We in this short time became intimately acquainted; which need not be much wondred at, considering the greatness of sympathy between us; so that now the conquest of her appeared not any ways difficult. Having talkt ourselves weary, Come, said she in a very familiar manner, I will shew you the product of some idle hours; and with that brought me several Epitaphs, Elegies, Anagrams, Anacrosticks, Epigrams, &c. of her own composition, too many here to relate; but for their wit, deserved to have each line characterized in gold; some I would here insert, were not the radiant lustre of her conceits so great and glorious, that they would absolutely extinguish the dim-sightedness of my fancy. Having viewed them, I could not but applaud them, as their due merit; and I was glad I had this happy occasion to vent my own thoughts, which I tacitly insinuated in these lines, reflecting on her from what I had read.

These lines so powerfully wrought upon her, that she could not forbear to tell me, that she was much obliged to me for what I had writ. You cannot Madam, said I, cancel your obligation, till you have made some recompence: with that, said she smilingly, What will content you? The continuance of your favour Madam, is the utmost ambition of my desires. You have it Sir; neither can I deny any deserving man a thing so inconsiderable. By your favour Madam, love I mean. I never was so uncharitable, said she, to be out of love with any. I was glad to hear her reply so merrily: for a fort which so capitulateth, is half surrendered. Since I had broke the ice, I was resolved to prosecute my design; wherefore in plain English I told her, that I loved her from the first interview, so ardently, that my constancy should prove the reality of my affection: she desired me to leave that to the test of time; that should she believe me suddenly before she had made tryal, she should not only loose the good estimation she had gained by the prudent and discreet management of her affairs, every one accusing her for too much credulity, but thereby it may be involve her self in a Labyrinth of all manner of troubles. Tryal, said I, you shall have: and knowing the manner of courting a widow, a tryal I gave her, knowing that Parleys operate little on a widow, and there is nothing sooner gains a conquest then a storm or a resolute assault. This action made her so firmly mine, that I durst not speak of leaving; which when I did at any time, her Soul was ready to leave its ancient habitation to attend on me. Some two months we spent in all manner of self-pleasing delights, till at last I begun to be tyred with her too frequent invitations; the more I endeavoured to satisfie her, the further I was from it. Not only by her, but by others, this experiment I found, that the oftner I treated them, the more eagerly and earnestly they desired it. Being now incapacitated to hold out in this manner longer, I thought it high time to be gone, but not without sufficient recompence for my service. She daily sollicited me to marry her, which I promised her from time to time, waiting an opportunity when I might become master of her treasure. One day in a frollick, and the more to encourage me to make a speedy consummation of our loves by marriage, she shewed me all her writings which concerned her estate (by which I found her to be so wealthy a fortune, that I often times curst my unhappy stars, that they had thus debar’d me from the complement of so great a bliss.) After this, she shews me a trunk wherein was contained her cash: then taking me about the neck with such fervency of affection, that I thought she would have strangled me, & with the repetition of kisses, she smiling, askt me, whether these things satisfied me or not. I told her they did, but they were not to stand in competition with her most affected self: with that she gave me the keys of that trunk wherein her money was, and in retaliation, I vowed to marry her in four days. In the mean time I studied how I might be gone, but could not contrive a way, she not induring me to be out of her sight. In fine, I feigned some indisposition of body, and that I would ride two or three miles for the benefit of the fresh air, and return: with much willingness she consented. Just as I was about to take horse (having furnished my self with as much mony as I could well carry without discovery) she wept bitterly (as having I think a prophetick Spirit.) I ask’d her the cause of her discontent: all bathed in tears, she answered me with a deep sigh, I shall never see you more: Hard-hearted man: can you thus leave a woman that loves you thus dearly, nay, that dotes on you? I made many protestations to the contrary; which were not believed. Seeing that I could not prevail on her belief, I bad her farewell, setting spurs to my horse, and was out of sight in an instant. I could not but condemn my self extreamly for this inhumane action: but considering that there is no slavery greater then that of the smock, I soothed my self up in mine own unworthiness; passing by a little Ale-house, I called in, and over a pot of Ale I composed these ensuing lines, which I sent to her by a messenger I procured in the house, directed thus:

Deliver these to the fair hands of Mrs. Pulcheria Tickleman, at her dwelling-house, near Redding.

The Contents were these, or to this purpose.

I desired no answer, therefore stayed not till the return of the messenger, but rid that night to Maidenhead.