CHAPTER XI Confidences and an Attempt

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Only Agatha was at home this evening, and her joy may be imagined.

'Oh, Catherine; you will come to live here, with those two dear children? We shall have you, just as we planned to do! and you are glad to come!'

A short while ago the little girl would have said, 'I shall have you,' and would not have troubled to question whether or not the arrangement would bring joy to others; but the influence of Catherine's teaching was working within this heart.

'Glad?—yes indeed, dearie!'

'And you will talk to me every day about God, until He seems real and near? Then I shall not be so dreadfully afraid of dying.'

The colonel returned to the house early in the evening, to be greeted by the radiant smiles of his niece and ward. The former rose from her low seat by Agatha's couch, and advanced to meet him with her hands outstretched, and cried,—

'I want to come "home" to stay, dear uncle. Will you have me?'

It was sweet for her to see the joyous light that broke over his face as he listened to her explanations, for she learned to understand more and more how much he had wanted her. His earnest words of welcome were not necessary, though they also were sweet to Catherine. Later, when he was walking back to Woodley Villa with her, she learned a fact which robbed her prospects of some of their joyousness, but which made her trebly thankful that she was to live 'at home' for the future.

They had reached the gate of Mrs. Arderne's house, when Uncle Jack laid his hand detainingly on his niece's arm, and said,—

'Lassie, you know that my pension is a very small one, and that it will die with me?'

'Yes?'

'When Agatha comes of age, if she lives, she will come into a tiny fortune; but meanwhile, the sum that was allowed me for her maintenance is barely sufficient.'

'Are you afraid that I shall prove an extravagant housekeeper?'

'No, dear,—no. But if I were to die,—what would become of Agatha?'

'Could I take care of her,—I mean, would she suffer if I had to provide for her altogether out of that sum which you say is barely sufficient?'

'You could do it, lassie, but she would be a great tie.'

'I will never desert her while she needs me. Even if Brian would not let me have her with me, and you know that is an unnecessary supposition, I could make arrangements for her to board and lodge somewhere quite near, so that I could be often with her. You meant, did you not, that you could not bear to think of her being left lonely, and obliged to think and manage for herself? I would prevent that.'

Uncle Jack smiled, and squeezed the arm he was holding.

'God bless you, dearest,—you have taken a load of anxiety off my mind! Yes, that was all I meant. I couldn't endure the thought that my poor Agatha might be utterly alone. Probably my brother would offer her a home,—but I could not count upon that.'

'But you—you are not going to die soon. I mean you—you are not ill?'

'For a year past I have had need to be careful of myself. My heart is in a wrong condition, so the doctor tells me. In fact, lassie, his warnings simply amount to this, which we all believe of ourselves,—that I might die any moment, if God so pleased.'

For a while Catherine was speechless. Then she realised the truth which the colonel's words had suggested—threatened his life might be, but it could not end until the Creator had ordained that he should die.

'No wonder you have been anxious about Agatha. Dearest uncle, do not worry about her any more. Please God, we will keep you for many, many years to come, but if He were to call you away from us, we would cling to one another for all our lives.'

'Lassie, lassie,—I didn't mean to bring tears into your eyes! You mustn't be less brave than your words. We are all under orders,—and a good soldier never lets himself fear the next command.'

'No, I will remember your advice,—colonel.'

There was a smile on her lips now, as she gazed lovingly into the old man's face.

'This is a secret from Agatha, of course—she is not strong enough yet to bear burdens that can be spared her. You and I are more like comrades, lassie, who can hearten and strengthen one another by exchanging ideas and knowledge.'

'I shall always ask God to help me to help you, then, Uncle Jack, for you are naturally a brave fighter, while I am but a girl.'

'Many a woman's courage has shamed a man! I remember hearing how, just before the battle of Inkerman——'

And then followed an anecdote, the telling of which brought fire into the eyes of the old soldier, and a thrill into his voice. Catherine, watching him, guessed that it was in this unconscious manner that he had inspired poor Loring Carmichael with that love for the military profession which had caused him to anger his Uncle Ross.

An unconscious influence!—this it was for which Uncle Ross would not forgive his brother, who daily grieved for the estrangement between them!

And though Loring had died young, had he not died honourably? Since there must be soldiers, why, some must die young,—and all honour be to them! Surely Uncle Jack had done Loring no great injury after all. The young man had been spared the temptations of long life, and had gone to find the reward which the King of Battles gives to all loyal-hearted fighters.

While hearing the anecdote of the battle of Inkerman, Catherine Carmichael once more resolved to make every effort to bring about a reconciliation between her uncles.

'That was a fine story!' she cried, when the tale was ended.

'Yes, lassie; women are very brave,—often. You have made me happy to-night. I could say you have taken away my last trouble, if it were not for Ross' anger against me. God knows I would give the rest of my life, if possible, in exchange for the reinstating of the old regard we had for one another! We were devoted to one another as lads and young men, Catherine. There was never a quarrel between us,—and we were friends, true, absolute friends, until Ross caught the gold fever, that passion for money-earning and hoarding which ruins many men.'

'That was the beginning of your estrangement?'

'That began to put us out of sympathy; but I want him just as badly as ever, lassie. After almost a lifetime of brotherly affection, this separation is terrible. I think the tie that binds one man's heart to another is tremendously powerful. I shouldn't wonder if Ross were wishing for my friendship all the while almost as strongly as I long for his; but his pride has grown very stubborn, and I did him an undoubted injury, though I meant no harm.'

'God will answer our prayers, Uncle Jack, dear. The reconciliation will come some day.'

'His will be done!' was the reverent answer. Then the colonel suddenly remembered how long he had kept his niece standing talking by the gate,—and they parted with a great hand-clasp,—'just like comrade-soldiers,' as Catherine thought to herself.

She ran indoors, and sought out Mrs. Arderne, who was in the nursery putting away the toys which Ted and Toddie had been playing with before they had been carried away to bed.

'Cath! your face has a cloud over it!'

'Oh, you quick-sighted friend!—Yes, I want to tell you about something—about Uncle Jack.'

The little woman drew a chair forward, and made the tall girl sit down; then standing beside her, pillowed her brown head on her arm.

'Let me hear all,—it is my turn to try to comfort you now!'

Gradually the tale was told, and Catherine did not pretend not to be deeply grieved about her uncle's illness. Warm-hearted, tender-natured as she was, she could not fail to sorrow over the news he had told her of his state of health, although she never lost consciousness of that beautiful truth that God was taking care of him.

'You see, God may mean to take him from me soon,' she explained, clinging to the encircling arm. 'I cannot tell how soon. God has a right to do so. His decrees are always for our good, but—but—I love Uncle Jack so truly, and I have only just found him! It seems so hard to contemplate the possibility of having to give him up to God just yet. You won't think me wicked, or a hypocrite, to be feeling like this, will you?'

'No, no, childie! Your religion would not be beautiful at all, if it did not make allowance for natural human feelings. Resignation must be the result of sorrow, mustn't it? Poor, dear old gentleman! I hope and trust that he may be spared to you for a long, long time. And you know, dear, threatened lives are often lengthy. You must take great care of him.'

'Indeed I will! Do you not think that his trouble must be very bad for him?—his regret about the quarrel? He told me to-night that he would gladly give the rest of his life, if by so doing he could become friends again with his brother.'

'Can't you soften Mr. Carmichael's heart by telling him of his brother's illness?'

Catherine raised her face, and eagerly considered this suggestion.

'Oh, if I only could coax him to make the least advance, or even to meet Uncle Jack somewhere for a talk, the battle would be won! It is dreadfully selfish of me to be sitting here crying, when I ought to be forming plans of action and praying for success with them!'

'Oh, you energetic young woman, you need not grudge yourself five minutes' rest and indulgence in tears! Why, a good cry sometimes does a girl a world of good, and acts as a tonic, so that she can work fifty times better after it.'

'I know, and you are such a dear to cry upon!'

'We are to be parted so soon, Cath, that it is best for us to help one another all we can now.'

'Will it be very soon? Agatha asked me, but I told her that I did not know.'

'I have been making my plans while you were away, and I have decided to leave England the week after next. Nurse can have board wages instead of her notice, unless, indeed, you would like to keep her on. You are quite welcome to do so, if you prefer it.'

'There would be no room for her in Redan Cottage, and I would much rather have Ted and Toddie all to myself. You do not imagine that I regard a nurse's daily work as hard or derogatory, do you? Why, it is some of the best and greatest labour a woman can possibly find to do!'

'My children are extraordinarily lucky little people to be left in your care, Catherine!' said the mother gratefully.

'So you will be with your husband for Christmas?'

'Yes,—poor Henry! I had contemplated inviting lots of friends down to stay with me, and indulging in all the Yule-tide frivolities and entertainments of the neighbourhood—dances, etc.; but my heart has reproached me too strongly. Thanks to you, I'm not half as pleasure-craving a butterfly as I used to be. Duty seems not only best, but happiest. Once I have got over the parting with you and the chicks, I know I shall be glad to be with Henry, in spite of the climate.'

The two women kissed one another, and clung together, feeling that their troubles had wrought a strong tie of sympathy between them. Then ensued a long, thoughtful silence, which was broken at last by Catherine's earnest, low-toned voice, saying,—

'Do you remember the words of Jesus Christ to Simon Peter: "I have prayed for thee that thy faith fail not; and when thou are converted, strengthen thy brethren"? I have always thought that so touching an instance of our Lord's mercy! For He knew that Peter was about to deny Him, yet He prayed that in sin he might not lose his faith, but, in spite of his errors, come to be a teacher of others. Dearest of friends, I am only an ignorant, sinful creature, but if we ask God to help me, He will teach me how to watch over and train Ted and Toddie, so that they may not suffer for want of their mother's presence.'

'Cath,—teach them to be like yourself, and I shall be more than satisfied!'


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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