Catherine's choice had been finally made, approved by Brian and declared. They decided that there was no need to tell Uncle Jack of the offer Uncle Ross had made them, not unless he were to question them in such a manner that truth would be sacrificed by silence. And this did not happen. The colonel was anxious to be assured that his brother would not quarrel with them on account of Catherine's promise to regard Redan Cottage as home, and when he was gratified by receiving this assurance he believed that all was well. 'Uncle Ross has forgiven me. I shall go to see him sometimes, just as I have been doing,' she said. Those were delightful days during which Brian remained in Beverbridge. Not only did Mrs. Arderne kindly invite him a great deal to her house, but she allowed her companion so much liberty that the young people were almost constantly in one another's company. 'I'm afraid I haven't been of much service to you lately!' the girl exclaimed penitently, when Brian had returned to town. 'Nonsense, my dear!' was the little lady's prompt answer. 'You simply obeyed my wishes, which happened to coincide with your own. I derived a great deal of entertainment as well as pleasure from observing you and your lover. Good gracious, what a weary-looking, thin fellow he is! But his holiday did him good, and his face 'Oh no, that expression has come to stay!' Catherine replied, with a happy smile. 'What do you mean, you perplexing young woman? How can you possibly tell? Your Brian will begin to overwork himself again just as soon as he gets an opportunity. And unless he does, thanks to your united folly, you will never be able to get married.' 'Brian's peace doesn't come from any cause that can be taken away from him, dear Mrs. Arderne. Not even great fatigue, nor a breakdown in health could rob him of it.' 'Religion again, Catherine!' 'Yes; trust in God. Oh, I wish you would rejoice with me over Brian's new knowledge! I wish you would understand what true happiness is, you dearest of employers!' Mrs. Arderne kissed the speaker, but shook her head. 'I've not a religious mind, Catherine. It refuses to concern itself chiefly with spiritual matters. The unseen thing called faith was always a mystery to me. Of course, God must exist, since we do, and the earth must have been made by Him; but if He wants us to love Him, He should manifest Himself to us.' 'So He does, in wonderful ways to those who seek Him. You would not have Him speak intimately to persons who will not listen for His voice? In countless mysteries He is always proving His power, in the things He has created; but human beings turn away their eyes from the evidences of His power and their own helplessness. Directly a soul begins to grope after the light, light comes in plenty. It is those souls which do not wish for faith which remain desolate for want of it!' 'No wonder, say I, that some do not wish for it, since its possession seems to entail upon them such extremes of self-sacrifice.' Catherine pondered this remark, Mrs. Arderne watching her face meanwhile, and admiring the grace of her bended neck and the sweetness of her smile. 'Do you know, dear friend, I think all the better parts of ourselves are in great sympathy with self-sacrifice' (this was the outcome of her reflections), 'since love is the greatest joy we know, and love means preferring another's happiness to our own. If a man loves a comrade, he will go into dangers for his sake; if a woman loves her husband, even if he be unkind to her, she will spend her life in trying to make his happiness, and in shielding him from blame; and what will not some mothers give up for the sake of their children? This seems to me to be the truth of the matter—that self-sacrifice becomes happiness when it is founded upon sufficient love. No doubt happiness follows any renunciation for the sake of duty; but the other is the more human point of view.' 'And what lesson do you deduce from that truth, Catherine?' Mrs. Arderne was interested in the study of her companion's opinions. 'That love of God makes sweet and easy every sacrifice made for Him. Christ, the great Model of self-renunciation, appeals for sympathy to the better self within each one of us—which was created in us—the breath of God in man. And it is only those who let God live within the soul, who do not hinder His work, who desire His guidance and control, who feel strong enough to be happy in a life which is all uncertainty. The luckiest man in all the world may be destined for overwhelming misery and pain to-morrow; it is only the man whose happiness consists in obedience to God's will, and in hope for an eternity cf perfect joy, whose peace neither fear nor suffering can overwhelm!' 'It is a pity that we do not have female clergy, my dear. If we did, you might become a popular preacher.' 'Oh, you are laughing at me! Am I too fond of talking about my opinions? I was only trying my best to answer the questions you asked me.' 'Yes, I know. I like to listen to you, though I wish you were less convincing. My own life always looks a poor, dreary, selfish one, filled with perils I've no courage to face, and my longing to be braver always frets me, after I have heard some of your sermonettes, child. If great misery or suffering were to overwhelm me to-morrow, I don't know what I should do!' 'You would lay your burden upon the Saviour, would you not, you darling?' 'How could I, after ignoring His existence so long as my life was placid. Certainly He must be generous, or He would send trials at once to test me, and to prove His power.' 'If He did, it would only be in His mercy, in order to expose you to the influence without which you will not seek the only lasting happiness.' Mrs. Arderne sighed. 'I will turn over a new leaf; you shall help me, dear. I have been very much worried of late, because my husband wants me to rejoin him soon in India, and I don't want to go out there. My babes must stay in England. I will not have their health injured, perhaps permanently, by my selfish longing to keep them with me; and how can I bear to part from the darlings?' There was a tremor in the mother's voice. Catherine clasped the little woman in her arms, and laid her cheek against her face. 'Oh, you might have told me sooner of your anxiety! Would it not have been easier to bear, if you had told some one, even me, who would have sympathised?' 'I knew you would say I must go. It is my duty, I admit. Henry has let me have a long holiday trip—first 'Is the climate really so bad?' 'For children, yes. They shall not grow up sickly because their mother thought more of her own happiness than of their welfare.' 'And you expressed a wonder, only a few minutes ago, that any one could desire faith which might entail self-sacrifice! Oh, you dear, brave little mother, even while you are lonely for want of your babies, will you not be proud and glad because you have loved them better than yourself? That is the way in which gladness comes from loving God. And it is He alone who can comfort you, to whom you can pray for Ted and Toddie; to whose loving care you can confide them, knowing that He can guard them better even than your love could do, were you always close beside them!' Mrs. Arderne laid her hand on her companion's shoulder, and indulged in a hearty cry. 'Oh, Cath!' she said at last, 'I must learn to love God now, for I shall be so lonely in India, and I must feel that I can do something for the babies when I am far away from them. He won't be angry and refuse to listen to me, will He, because so long as I was quite happy I did not serve Him?' 'The labourer who came at the eleventh hour into the vineyard received the same pay as those who had borne the heat and labour of the whole day. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved.' After another silence Mrs. Arderne said: 'When I go, you will take charge of Ted and Toddie? Promise me that, Catherine. Whether you live in Redan 'He did not want to adopt me, dear. I should have had a home of my own. Still, perhaps he would not have liked me to bring Ted and Toddie on constant visits to Carm Hall; and if I have charge of them, I will never be parted from them.' 'If? Tell me you will, Catherine. I can only be happy about them if I leave them in your care.' 'I promise I will have them, if Uncle Jack does not refuse, and he is not likely to do that.' 'You do not speak of Brian's opinion.' 'There is no need. Brian will be glad for me to do anything in the world that I can do to ease your anxiety. Besides, are you not making me a most helpful offer? You are going to keep on your companion, letting her live at home. She would be altogether delighted, were it not that she will be parted from you!' 'You must write to me, Cath, very, very often; and you won't let the babes forget me, will you? Oh, but I know you will not! Your salary must be doubled, so that you are no expense to Uncle Jack, and we will decide on a sum to pay for the board of Ted and Toddie. Dear child, it is a comfort to me to feel that you will benefit by my misfortune. You'll be able to save money, to help your lover, and in a few years Henry will bring me back to England.' After a little more discussion of this plan, Mrs. Arderne sent Catherine to take the news to Redan Cottage. |