| If you Dream of | It Means |
| Antwerp | That you will be bored to death by Rubens. |
| Boulogne | That you will lose a small fortune in tenth-rate gambling. |
| Calais | That you will soon tire of your Continental trip, and stop prematurely. |
| Dieppe | That you will have about as much change and comfort as at Brighton in November. |
| Etretat | That you will be fortunate if you can secure comfortable lodgings. |
| Florence | That you will never enter another picture-gallery for years. |
| Geneva | That you will want to go away before you have fairly arrived. |
| Heidelberg | That you can never have been abroad before. |
| Interlaken | That you will hear the opinions of a number of Mr. Cook's tourists on the Jungfrau. |
| Jerusalem | That if you have been advised to go there by your friends, you must be very unpopular. |
| Karlsbad | That if you intend taking the waters, you had better insure your life before commencing the operation. |
| Lucerne | That if you want to ascend either the Righi or Mont Pilatus, if you are judicious you will purchase a railway ticket. |
| Milan | That you will find little difference between the Passage Victor Emanuel and the Burlington Arcade. |
| Naples | That you had better keep a sharp look out on the returns of the cholera. |
| Ouchy | That you are likely to have a good time of it at the HÔtel Beau Rivage if "Perambulating Parsons" have let it alone. |
| Paris | That you are quite subservient to the wishes and dress-requirements of your wife. |
| Quebec | That you can see what some of the Colonists have exchanged for the indiscriminating hospitality of the Mother Country. |
| Rome | That you wish to do a good turn to the doctors by choosing such a time for your visit. |
| Sedan | That you will develop a taste for the collection of Brummagem relics. |
| Turin | That you will want a good rest after doing Mont CÉnis. |
| Unter den Linden | That you will be lured to visit a City well worth seeing by the unearned fame of one of its smallest attractions. |
| Vevey | That you had better stay there than go over the Simplon into tourist-teeming Italy. |
| Wiesbaden | That if you can't get "Trente et Quarante" or "Rouge et Noir" at the Kursaal, you may yet play at chess. |
| Zurich | That by the date you get there it will be time to think of coming home again. |
