This remarkable beast of prey dwells in mill ponds and mud puddles, cluss to the ground, and lives upon young lizzards and dirt.

They hav no taste to their mouths, and never spit out ennything that they kan swallo.

They have two ugly black thorns sticking out on the sides ov their hed, and are az dangerous tew handle az a six-bladed penknife, with the blades all open to onst.

They are like a kat, yu hav got to skin them before they are fit to eat, and after they are thoroughly cooked, if yu set them away in the cupboard until they git cold, they will begin life anew, and bekum az raw az a live mule.

They will liv, after they are ded az long az striped snaik kan.

I don’t advise enny man to fish for bull heads, but if yu feel az tho yu must, this iz the only best way to do it.

Take a dark, hot, drizzly night in the month ov june; steal out quietly from home; tell yure folks yu are going tew the nabors to borry a setting of hen’s eggs; find a saw log on the banks ov a stagnant mill-pond, one end of which lays in the water; drive the mudturkles and water snaiks oph from the log; straddle the log, and let yure leggs hang down in the water up tew yure garters; bait yure hook with a chunk ov old injun rubber shoe; az fasst az yu pull up the bull heads, take them by the back ov the neck and stab their horns onto the saw log; when yu hav got the saw log stuck full, shoulder the saw log, and leave for home; git up the next morning early, skin the bull heds, and split up the saw log into kindling wood, let yure wife cook them for brekfast, and sware the whole family to keep dark about it.

This iz the only respektabel way to hav enneything to do with bull heads.