A man may possibly git the remembrance ov his natiff country out ov hiz mind, but he never kan out ov hiz heart.

I don’t suppoze thare haz ever lived in this world, a man who haz improved the whole ov hiz opportunity and abilitys.

Wimmin quite often possess superior tallents, but their genius lays in their pashuns.

Love haz a most vorashus appetight, but a poor digestion, what it feeds on most alwus distresses it. Prudes, are coquets, gone to seed. It iz our duty tew pray for them who revile and persekute us, but i dont kno az we are obliged tew let them kno it.

Just exackly az a man grows pure, he grows humble.

The less we know the more we suspect. A grate mind haz no room for suspicion.

Extreams meet, the very wisest are often seen to do the most phoolish things.

It iz hard tew quit play while we are winning. It iz just so in morals, men seldum undertake tew git religion az long az they kan git enny thing else.

The man who never told a lie iz a well-bred man i don’t kare if he sprung from a dunghill.

Thare iz no better evidence ov wisdum than tew beleave what we kant understand.

Trew courage iz as gentle az a pet lamb.

When we are young we change our opinyuns too often. When we are old, too seldum.

Thare aint no people in this world who makes so menny blunders az thoze who don’t beleave “that enny good thing ever came out ov Nazareth.”

We lay all of our bad luk tew sum boddy else, but our successes we giv ourself kredit for.

Hurry and dispatch are often confounded, but they are az unlike az the habits ov the pissmire and the ant.

A dandy in love iz in just about az bad a fix az a stick ov mollassis kandy that haz half melted.

Thoze who luv most to play jokes upon others, luv least tew hav jokes played upon them.

One ov the most diffikult things for an old person tew forgit and at the same time the most necessary, iz that they are no longer young.

Seckond luv iz like a seckond case ov meazles—the pashunt alwus haz it light.

Men in luv alwus akt like phools or lunatiks, ackordin tew the amount ov their branes.

It iz better tew be stubborn than weak.

There iz no more degrading servitude in this life than tew be obliged tew flatter another.

Most men had rather be ritch than wize.

Fear and courage both seem tew be constitutional, for we often see the ignorant the most courageous, and the most wize the most timid.

About the best thing that extreme old age kan do for us iz tew make death a relief.

Phools are alwus a wishing for sumthing.

To be thoroughly pittyed will take the courage out ov enny man.

Envy iz just az natral tew the heart ov man az blood iz tew hiz boddy.

When a doktor looks me square in the face and kant see no money in me, them i am happy.

He who will flatter another, will rob him, if he gits a good chance.

Thare might possibly be sum advantage, in entering a convent, if we could eskape from ourselfs, but go whare we will, we have tew keep company with one, who is able tew do us more hurt, than enny boddy else.

The meanest kind ov a loafer iz he, who iz willing tew be abuzed by every one, for the privilege ov abuzing others.

If it iz really a blessing tew die, it must hav been a curse to be born.

What iz the principal difference between poverty and ritches?—poverty kant be worse, and may be better; ritches kan be better, and may be worse,—the difference iz in favor of poverty.

We kant have a better evidence, ov the perversity ov human natur, than the fakt, that we arrive at wisdom, thru our adversity, instead ov thru our reazon.

A wize man never dispairs, when hope givs out, then cums resignashun.

The best way i kno ov tew repent ov enny thing, iz tew do better next time.

Pashion alwus lowers a grate man, but sumtimes elevates a little one.

Thare iz nothing more bekuming to enny man than humility, yet it iz about the last thing he thinks ov.

Too mutch reading, and too little thinking, haz the same effekt on a man’s mind, that too mutch eating, and too little exercise haz on hiz boddy.

The highest rate ov interest that we pay iz on borrowed trouble—things that are always a going tew happen never do happen.

Face all things!—even advertisy iz polite tew a man’s face.

A learned phool iz one who has read everything, and simply remembered it.

Thare iz no good substitute for wisdum, but silence iz the best that haz been discovered yet.

Confidence iz a big thing, it makes a hornet respektable, and the want ov it, iz just what makes the pissmire dispised.

If I had a boy whose hair wouldn’t part in the middle, I should bedew that hair with a parent’s tear, and then giv up the boy.