When a rooster crows, he crows all over.

A poor, but dishonest cuss iz about az low down az enny man kan git, unless he drinks whiskee too.

Error will slip thru a crack, while truth will git stuck in a doorway.

The man who haz just found out he kant afford tew burn green wood haz taken hiz fust lesson in ekonemy.

Thare iz only one thing that kan beat truth, and that iz he who alwus speaks it.

It iz hard work, at fust sight, tew see the wisdum ov a rattle snaik bite, but thare iz thousands ov folks who never think ov their sins untill they are bit bi a rattle snaik.

Thare iz a grate deal ov human natur in a krab, if yu don’t pick them up in the right way, yu will diskover it.

I think now, if i had all the money that iz due me, i would invest it in a saw mill, and then “let her rip.”

Take the humbugg out ov this world, and yu wont hav mutch left tew do bizzness with.

When we say, “such a man haz bowels ov mercy,” do we mean tew be understood that he iz a light eater?

Faith and curiosity are the gin cocktails ov suckcess.

Advertising iz sed tew be a certain means of success; sum folks are so impressed with this truth, that it sticks out ov their tombstun.

Thare iz this diffrence between ignorance and error; ignorance iz stone blind, and error iz near-sighted; ignorance stands still and error only moves to run agin a post.

Economy iz a savings bank, into which men drop pennys, and git dollars in return.

There iz one thing yu kant put out, and that iz yure conscience; yu may smother it, but a coal pit, it kontains the charred remains.

The two richest men now living in Amerika that i kno of, iz the one who haz got the most money and the other who wants the least; and the last one iz the happiest ov the two.