The crust of the earth. The crumb. A plio scene. An eo scene. Laminated strata of neolithic oolite. Sandstone. Sugar stone. Plum stone. Outcrop of turnips in wealden clay. Fly in amber. Flyin machine. Prehistoric man on the rocks. Author also on the rocks. Arrival of a megalokinemastodontichthyosaurus. His jaw breaks. The camera breaks.

Political Economy

Relation between wages and work. Comparison impossible. The wealth of the individual. N/S Nil. The wealth of nations. Adam Shame. Specimens of bimetallic coinage. Paper currents. Their raison d’Être. King Charles I. demanding supplies. Ministry of Food supplying demands. Not half. Foreign Exchanges. Germany’s low-water Mark. Francness on the Bourse. The Rouble trouble. Millionaires playing with agricultural returns, or baccarrot.

Science

Fair Science frowning on an humble birth. Her deeper frown on sulphuretted hydrogen. Demonstrator upsets nitric acid. Specific gravity of class upset. The Torricellian vacuum. Cleaning the vacuum. (Inset, the vacuum cleaner; can be used for the head.) The wet-and-dry bulb. Johnson’s hydrometer. Converting a pussyfoot into liquid measure with caustic soda water. Electrolysis. Analysis. Paralysis.

Book-Keeping

A double cash column marches through the double entry. It reads the journal. A Post Office. The ledger is posted. It is put on the scales, but won’t balance. It is returned to drawer for re-check. While books are in the drawer they cannot be kept. When they are posted they cannot be retained. Therefore Book-keeping is impossible.

ArchÆology

The Temple of Leonidas in Valparaiso. A papyrus is discovered. It is found to be dated B.C. 5000, and written in Scotch. Sinn Feiners at work deciphering. The finding of the key. The document is a recipe for utilizing the sharpenings of pencils to make iron joists. A limited company is formed to exploit the process. Present address, Carey Street.

Numismatics

Specimens of various rare coins. A sovereign. Two sovereigns. A half-sovereign. Obverse. Reverse. Perverse. Coins not quite so rare. A half-crown. It is given away in error between two threepenny-bits. A sixpence. It goes bang. A small coin is shown, which gradually recedes into the borderland between visibility and invisibility. It is then seen to be a far thing.

Alcoholism

A field of potatoes in full ear. One of the Old Guard at Waterloo (Station). He is conscribed. Ten years later: not yet promoted. Twenty years after: he is a private still. He distils a potato by suction. He becomes intoxicated by the protuberance of his own pomposity. He tries to say Truly rural. He attempts to uphold the British Constitution. He walks across a chalk mark. Hic transit.

Philately

A stampede. Enter an ardent collector wiping the perforation. He forges ahead, but is discovered by absence of watermark. His duplicate marches in like a lamb from mint source. He is in rare condition, having been surcharged with a plate number. He is absolutely used up. Post mortem.