  1 Verger White and his pet tortoise Ermyntrude. White is playing the trombone, while Ermyntrude is running up and down the curtains. Man sitting on turtle blasting trombone at man who is blown off his feet “A Client arrives.” 2 A client arrives. White puts away the trombone, tells his client what he has come for, and the name of the person who committed the burglary with violence. The client agrees, noting subconsciously that White has a habit of flapping his left ear when thinking deeply. 3 White takes the case. It is a case of whiskey, which the client has thoughtfully provided. He turns up a file of the Quiver, and reads through the Postal Guide. 4 He finds what he wants. He calls Ermyntrude and starts off. He takes a taxicab to Waterloo, and goes by train to Richmond. 5 He returns to Hammersmith, takes a motor-bus to Barnes, and train back to Waterloo. Having thus thrown off his pursuers, he walks to Vauxhall, followed by Ermyntrude. 6 He secures assistance from local police and fire brigade, and between them they arrest the supposititious criminal—a blind paralytic. 7 White is rewarded with the Freedom of Tooting Bee and a complimentary dinner at The Stag, Kennington. Responding to the toast of “Our Greatest Detective,” he returns the compliment by Tooting on the trombone. He remains under the table, flapping his left ear, while Ermyntrude sleeps coiled up in the instrument. |
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