“A healthy body means a healthy mind. You get your heart rate up, and you get the blood flowing through your body to your brain. Look at Albert Einstein. He rode a bicycle. He was also an early student of Jazzercise. You never saw Einstein lift his shirt, but he had a six-pack under there.”

“Actors and magicians are both performers, and they represent things that are not necessarily who they are.”

“Because I went from the 'Daily Show' where I was a fake news guy on a fake news show, to 'Bruce Almighty' where I played a news guy, to 'Anchorman' where I played a news guy, now I'm... yeah, I tend to gravitate towards suits.”

“Being a leading man... that's like saying, 'I want to be astronaut.' That's not going to happen.”

“Being an action star is all I had ever hoped to be. I ultimately knew I would be an action star.”

“Children are very smart, in their own stupid way. A child's brain is like a sponge, and you know how smart sponges are.”

“Divorce is fairly common these days, and I think many times people disregard the emotional impact that divorce has on a couple and a family, because it happens so frequently.”

“Don't underestimate your kids. Don't be condescending, because they're children but they're not stupid.”

“Even the most self-confident people, at one point of their lives, felt like outsiders or felt like they weren't being heard or seen or witnessed in some way.”

“Everybody should be normal. Everybody should be nice. I think they go hand in hand, and that to me is the default setting.”

“Everyone is flawed and everyone makes mistakes and is culpable.”

“For me, at least, all of my career goals, all of my focus, everything just shifted and the importance was my children, and that's where all the joy came from as well.”

“For the better part of my adult life, I proudly avoided nerd/nimrod/goober status. I was always just cool enough.”

“Goalies almost never get credit for winning a game, but they always get blamed for losing a game.”

“I always feel so pretentious talking about comedy and deconstructing it. It always feels somehow self-centred to talk about any sort of process.”

“I don't even know if I have kind of a personal, like a take or a mental manual of how I'm raising kids. It's really - I think with everybody, it's just day-to-day and you just try to deal with every situation as they come.”

“I don't feel that I have to control every aspect of things that I appear in. You learn a lot performing someone else's writing.”

“I don't know how other people perceive the lives of actors, but my life is fairly ordinary. I go to work, I come home, I put my kids to bed. If I'm home in time for dinner, I have dinner, and then it's bedtime.”

“I don't like to get angry. It doesn't make me feel good. It is very human, but it's also a loss of control, and I like to have that kind of control.”

“I don't text, I don't have a Blackberry. Literally, I just have a cell phone that I haven't programmed and the whole Bluetooth. No. I don't even have an earpiece for my cell phone.”

“I don't think my kids have to worry too much about me embarrassing them because that's not how I would want to grow up, with wacky dad showing up at school and performing for everyone.”

“I don't think something necessarily has to be mean or cynical to represent 'edgy.' I think 'edgy' can mean a lot of different things.”

“I had a friend who, after 25 years of marriage, found himself trying to date again, and it was completely different. Everything had changed, and he had to reacquaint himself. It was funny even talking to him about it. For someone who has been out of the loop, it's a different world.”

“I had a lot of coaches growing up that were very hard on the kids in the name of building character, but it could have the opposite effect on kids.”

“I love my wife dearly, and, therefore, I've never cooked a meal, romantic or otherwise, for her.”

“I play the baritone horn - which is like a mini tuba, and is the least sexy instrument you can choose, and I generally say I don't play one so I don't have to acknowledge it. I also play fife.”

“I remember my wife wanted me to go see 'Contagion,' and I was like, 'Oh my God, why would I want to see that movie?' I mean, I'll just have nightmares and it will freak me out. It turned out that I really enjoyed it; I thought it was very well done.”

“I tend not to be someone who's on all the time, or is always trying to make other people laugh.”

“I think anyone loves to play a character that is either evil to a certain extent or has a real definable character flaw. Those are always really fun, and, I think, funny.”

“I think in most relationships that have problems, there's fault on both sides. And in order for it to work, there has to be some common ground that's shared. And it's not just one person making amends.”

“I think when someone who's known for doing drama does a comedy but just tries to be funny, that's a mistake.”

“I was a bad dater, and up until 8th grade I went to an all boy's school. So, by the time I hit high school I was a bit freaked out by women in general.”

“I was sort of traumatized by girls in the third grade. Because there was a girl in my third grade class I had a crush on. I bought her a box of Valentine's Day chocolate. And I put it in her cubby with a note that said something like, 'I am deeply in love with you, Your Secret Admirer.' And I didn't sign my name.”

“I would like for my kids to at least have some familiarity with who I am: 'It's the man from TV!'”

“I'd love to do Broadway some day. Before I started doing television I was just a primarily a stage actor, but I haven't done it in a while.”

“If I'd had a great level of success early on, who knows how I would have responded. I might have been a complete jerk.”

“If somebody takes the parking place you were waiting for, I tend to kind of let it roll off my back. Maybe I'm harboring a lot of something and it will all explode somewhere down the road, but I tend to just let it slide off my back.”

“I'll do whatever I can do to remain employed. I'm just not precious about doing comedy or doing drama. I never want to do something in order to prove to other people what I can do.”

“I'm a fun dad, but I don't know if I'm the fun, crazy dad.”

“I'm not a crazy Vegas guy. I'm not a gambler.”

“I'm not good with pickup lines or flirting. I don't have that kind of self-confidence or natural charisma.”

“In an enclosed space, a camel's breath can change the atmosphere of the room. Not only just the smell, they literally seem to change the atmospheric pressure. It's so disgusting. It's like they have eight stomachs each more rancid then the next and it just comes out of their mouth.”

“In my wildest dreams I never thought - well, I never thought I'd work.”

“In the United States, there is a restaurant called The Outback Steakhouse, and I could survive in there for several weeks at least, sustaining myself on bloomin' onions and, I'm sure, their legitimate and very Australian cuisine. In the real Outback? I give myself about 14 minutes.”

“It was kind of like they were just giving us a toy to play with, to do whatever we wanted with.”

“It's interesting when you're trying to create a character in animation. It's really a communal effort.”

“It's not a master plan to do every remake and every recreation of icons. It's just what I've been hired to do.”

“I've always enjoyed watching characters that aren't aware that they're doing anything funny. And I think that inherently makes them funnier.”

“I've waited my entire life to be busy. Whenever I hear actors complain about being busy, I think, 'shut up.' Because you do, you wait to be successful or to be able to work.”

“Like most people, I have painful memories of trying to fit in as a child. I wore, said, and did pretty much what everyone else did.”

“Maybe the coolest people are the ones who don't care about being cool.”

“My father is Italian, and I never met my paternal grandparents. The family name was 'Caroselli' and it was changed in the mid '50s. I think they wanted to assimilate, which was pretty common, although I love the name 'Caroselli.'”

“My wife is way funnier than I am. As much as I don't really feel I share a sense of humour with my family, I definitely share one with her - we find the same things funny.”

“Nothing to me feels as good as laughing incredibly hard.”

“Oh, I so don't care about the podium at the Oscars. I've stood at the podium at the Oscars and that's close enough. To be a presenter is as close as I need to be.”

“Once I moved to Chicago and started trying to get acting jobs, I just tended to book more things that were comedically based than anything else. I never had the preconceived notion, 'I will be a comedic actor.' I just thought, 'I'll go into acting and see what kind of work I can get.'”

“People generally have sex fairly young, and probably younger than they should be having it.”

“Reading a book, watching a movie, going to a play, it's transporting, and very, very exciting. And to be a part of that, creating things with your imagination, whoa.”

“Relationships shouldn't be disposable. If there's something worth saving - not always the case, some relationships are irreconcilable - but if there is something that you determine is worth saving, then try to do that.”

“Sending a handwritten letter is becoming such an anomaly. It's disappearing. My mom is the only one who still writes me letters. And there's something visceral about opening a letter - I see her on the page. I see her in her handwriting.”

“Six-year-olds are very wrapped up in their own lives, and that's the way it should be.”

“Steve Buscemi is hilarious. He's really, really good with improv.”

“Style advice? Always wear clothes... that are... clean, for starters. An added bonus if it is pressed as well. Unless you are wearing clothes that are supposed to look rumpled.”

“Talking to my wife, we stare at each other, saying, 'How is this happening? Why is this happening? Why now?' It's nothing I ever aspired to.”

“Taste in comedy, like fashion, changes all the time.”

“The best food is in Chicago. There are great restaurants everywhere, from fancy places to burger joints.”

“There's plenty of room for all sorts of movies and all sorts of comedies, so I never saw that as a competitive thing. I think there's room in the marketplace for everything.”

“There's very little you could do to prepare to be a correspondent on 'The Daily Show,' because it's not being a journalist, it's not being an actor. It involves elements of both of those things, but they're not required necessarily as job experience. It's helpful if you know how to improvise, but again, not a requirement.”

“They love 3-D. It's fun to watch a movie in 3-D with your children or with a group of children because you see the kids in front of you from time to time reaching up. You see little hands reaching up to grab things that they think are right there. I think it's remarkable and it does obviously, literally, add another dimension to the movie.”

“What kind of person would have a real craving for gummy worms?”

“When I first started looking at Twitter, I followed people like Steve Martin, who will just write the funniest non sequiturs now and then, which I thought was really fun. That's kind of the road I've taken. Every now and then, something comes into your mind and you put it out there. It's very innocuous. I think it's kind of fun.”

“When someone is good, but it doesn't seem like their world will collapse if they don't get the part, it's more appealing. It's like dating someone: You don't want someone who's too into you.”

“When you do an animated movie - at least the ones that I've been a part of - you never see any of the other actors. It's all done separately with headphones in a voice booth.”

“Whenever I hear someone describe something as a 'kids movie' or a 'family movie,' it immediately has a negative connotation in my mind because I think, 'Well, as an adult, I wouldn't go see it by myself, because it's purely for children and it holds nothing for me and it's simplistic and it's kind of easy.'”

“Whenever you see people talking about how real they are or how normal they are, it seems odd to have that self awareness that you could potentially not be normal.”

“You know what Disneyland is known for? The Big Turkey Leg. People walk around with enormous deep-fried turkey legs. Like little kids, three-year-old kids eating these five-pound turkey legs.”

“You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else.”

“You project a version of yourself to the public to protect and insulate yourself a little bit. Actors come up with a version of themselves in order to protect the real person.”