“All these things that enter your head are assignments. You write them up and then throw them out there and if someone wants to do it, your assignment is done.”

“All you're trying to do in an improvisation is get as much material as possible for the editing room.”

“Being the youngest of five, you're adored, you're fueled with confidence.”

“David Lynch and I almost made a movie together in the late '80s. We had lots of dinners and lunches. He's a very cool, hip guy. This film, let's face it, is like an homage to him, I would imagine he'd find it funny.”

“I hate to lull the audience into letting them think that something is something. It's always fun to defy expectations.”

“I have a kind of objective luxury about my career.”

“I have sometimes imagined my own death and brought myself to tears.”

“I know if I were to drop dead now, people would probably write nice things in the obit.”

“I pretend I'm one of the royal family when I'm in a hotel and that the hotel belongs to me - it is a palace.”

“I think I'm funny because my family, my siblings were funny.”

“I think loss can fuel how you lead your whole life.”

“I've chosen to treat my life more like a party than something to stress about.”

“I've done lots of improv things but not a whole movie.”

“I've never done an improvised movie as a fictitious character. I think that's the challenge.”

“My mother was the concert master of the symphony. Absurdity and eccentricity were not criticized.”

“No one is any one thing.”

“One of my great influences was Don Knotts as Barney Fife.”

“People do think I'm Jewish. But we're Irish Catholic. My father had a brogue.”

“Someone once asked me what was the weirdest question I was ever asked. And I was stymied.”

“Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes.”

“What I learned, a little too late, was that the 'traditional' Martin Short target viewer weighs under 300 pounds. Unfortunately, I was on during daytime.”

“What's great about being a character actor is you know that you can survive forever. It's not about the gloss of your eyebrows.”

“You go through publicists because it's easy for a publicist to say to another publicist, 'No'.”

“You try to figure out things to keep yourself interested. It's very easy to get lulled.”