“A pope going through a faith crisis would be funny to see.”

“Every year, dads will dress up as Santa and try to surprise their kids by coming down the chimney, and every year, a dad gets stuck and dies.”

“I just always wrote songs as a side hobby. So it was sort of a natural thing to write comedy songs. But when I started writing songs, I wrote very serious songs. Or things that a 13-14 year-old would think are very serious issues.”

“I like to edit; I like to work with other people, and that's something stand-up doesn't really have.”

“I love doing different things where, for a little while, I can focus on standup then sketch writing, then performing, then directing a video. That, to me, is stimulating.”

“I think a bird is the worst present you can give somebody because it's guilt-ridden. This animal has the gift of flight, and you put it in a cage and watch it not do that until it dies.”

“I think comedians start off as pranksters or something.”

“I was bored at college, so I put USD10 in a jukebox in this place where people played ping-pong and pool. I put in USD10 of 'Jingle Bell Rock,' and this was back in the '90s, so it played 'Jingle Bell Rock,' like, 40 times in a row. It was just really fun to watch because after the fourth time, people were just losing-their-minds angry.”

“My big influences are piano artists like Billy Joel and Elton John.”

“Very specifically, Nickelodeon is aimed at eight- and nine-year-olds.”