“Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that's where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen.”

“I get mad at people who talk about traumatic job interviews, about going on one and getting rejected. I get rejected all the time and not only do I get rejected, but people have no problem being really specific about why I was rejected.”

“I like going back and writing fiction.”

“I think one of the basic tasks in life - one of the nice things we can do for each other - is to take things that are horrible and scary and make them acceptable and less frightening and, if possible, funny. It feels great to succeed at that.”

“I used to think no one should go into show biz, but now I feel differently. I now feel like it's a great career. If you can do it and make money at it and still not be so famous that you can have a normal life - then I think it's a great career.”

“I was on stage and I was like I will pay someone to do my time, not only will I expect NOT to be paid, but I will pay someone if I can run off stage right now. It was so bad.”

“I went with agnosticism for a long, long time because I just hated to say I was an atheist - being an atheist seemed so rigid. But the more I became comfortable with the word, and the more I read, it started to stick.”

“I'm finally a suburban housewife. Honestly, it's my dream come true.”

“I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this.”

“I'm not an activist. I'm trying to get off the whole atheist racket.”

“It was a fine cancer experience, as cancer experiences go.”

“It's so weird to have someone tell you you're sick when you feel really healthy and good.”

“Mostly, I just want to be in my house reading and writing.”

“Our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit... Santa, who was jolly - but, let's face it, he was also very judgmental.”

“To a certain extent I am taking a leap of faith. I'm adding up the evidence on either side, and I'm seeing the evidence of there not being a God is overwhelming compared to the evidence for there being a God.”

“Well, you can't be depressed and sad 24 hours a day.”

“Why not try thinking of your life as hilarious rather than nightmarish?”

“You know, in high school I thought Catholicism was funny and sort of ridiculous, but then I also liked it, too. Like, I definitely turned to it in times of trouble.”