“Anybody can be going from being broke to being wealthy, as I did.”

“Apparently, I said what a lot of people are thinking and a lot of people have thanked me.”

“At a certain point, if you work really hard and you get good and people like your work, you do deserve the fame - but you shouldn't take it for granted.”

“But Opera Man, I go, 'Oh, crap! Why didn't I think of that?' Because I could sing fake opera pretty good.”

“First of all, this whole idea of this one percent versus the 99 percent, it's a false statistic. There's nobody that is wealthy saying, let's go get the people that aren't. First of all, there's no versus. He's creating a false class warfare in a country where there is no class structure.”

“I agreed with everything he was saying when he ran for president. I was listening to what he said. I go, this guy thinks like me and I agree with him. Now he's changing. All he keeps saying is millionaires and billionaires don't pay their fair share of taxes.”

“I didn't take anything from anyone - first of all. Second of all, I opened a comedy club with money that I saved over 25 years. I created jobs.”

“I do see your point, but to me, I'm just a mouse compared to the President of the United States.”

“I don't want to talk about myself, that's for other people to say, so I'm not saying I was so talented.”

“I grew up very nice. But after college, my father said you're on you own. So I was dead broke for years. So I know what it's - I lived on 600 dollars a month for six years. I know what it's like to be dead broke. I feel bad for people who are struggling now.”

“I had done plays in high school. It was something I always wanted to do since I was little. I was a drama major at UC-Irvine.”

“I like getting up in front of an audience. It's fun when you go to a baseball game and the crowd is cheering you. I can't deny it. And it's very funny, too. Sometimes you're shy; you go somewhere and everyone's looking at you, so you feel a little self-conscious.”

“I really didn't want to leave the show, but I got a chance to do a movie, which meant I would have had to miss two shows, and at the time Lorne had a policy where you can't miss shows, so I left.”

“I would love to have a part opposite a great actor - like, say, Pacino or De Niro or Hoffman. And to work with a top director. That's my dream.”

“I would never tell anyone who to vote for. I'm a different kind of 'liberal' and I think people should be true to themselves. If you're Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal, you should be true to yourself and be who you are.”

“I would say if you are having a tough time in your life, then going to a club and getting laughs, it does make you feel better for that hour and a half show. It gets your mind off of it.”

“If I make a dollar and out of every dollar I'm taxed at 50, half, at 50 cents, I have to give, isn't that like enough?”

“It's fun to do something funny and have the director laughing. It makes you feel good.”

“My dad would always say, 'What can you do to make the world a better place?' Well, I can make people laugh.”

“Some people, they got housing loans, and I think they're responsible for taking a loan they didn't qualify for?”

“The problem with the economy isn't that people aren't paying their fair share of taxes.”

“The whole - it's the economy's bad. It's bad for everybody. I have my own comedy club. I opened it three years ago in a horrible economy. I created jobs. And we just started breaking even after a year and a half, barely. For that entire time, I have had to pay the difference of what we owe in rent and taxes and everything out of my own pocket.”

“Woody is the guy who made me want to be a comic. I was in heaven and couldn't stop smiling because he was my idle and 29 years after seeing Take the Money and Run, I was working for him.”

“You, the actor, must be aware of when you're being funny, but the character you're playing should always be oblivious to the fact.”

“You want everyone to be great and funny. I'm not saying I'm great, but I'm funny.”

“You're in front of an audience, but you're playing for a camera. There's this huge adrenaline rush, because you know that besides the audience in the studio, there are millions of people watching at home.”