“Everyone should have a blog. It's the most democratic thing ever.”

“I always feel like I'm missing out on something, that someone is having more fun than I am, so I take measures to make sure that is impossible.”

“I always regarded people who want fame with a lot of suspicion. Unless you have a product to sell, I don't know why anyone would want to be famous. I can't imagine what need that would fill.”

“I don't want the IRS banging down my door.”

“If you don't like or care about your job, what's the big deal?”

“If you don't like or care about your job, what's the big deal? I am so over it.”

“If you want to do what you want to do, you have to look a certain way.”

“If you're still in a bar when the lights go on, you are a loser.”

“In real life, people are constantly saying one thing and doing another, but if you write your characters that way, the story becomes too hard to follow.”

“It's amazing to me that people have any interest in such a low-level sex scandal. If I were sleeping with a congressman, maybe, but I'm a nobody and the people I'm writing about are nobodies.”

“New York is where you go to catch a big fish.”

“Normal people have sex lives of their own to worry about.”

“Some people with blogs are never going to get famous, and they've been doing it for, like, over a year. I feel bad for them.”

“There's no point in living in an alternate reality.”

“They'll totally hire me if I say I got fired from my job on the Hill because of a sex scandal.”

“You kind of create your own moral universe. It's like, well, I like myself. If other people don't like me, then whatever. I'm out of here.”