“A lot of people can't remember things because they weren't actually there to begin with - they don't take it all in.”

“Acting is everybody's favorite second job.”

“Age is the first limitation on roles that I've ever had to encounter, and I hit that awhile ago.”

“Because you know, down deep in my heart, when all is said and done, I still live under the illusion that basically people think of me as an up-and-coming young actor.”

“Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world.”

“Early on, if I was alone two three nights in a row, I'd start writing poems about suicide.”

“Financially, I've lost money and made money, but I know my way around financially.”

“Frankly, I got into the movies because I like the movies a lot.”

“I always knew there wasn't going to be anybody to help me and emotionally support me, that whatever I did I'd have to do on my own.”

“I am a person who is trained to look other people in the eye.”

“I don't have any fear of intimacy, but rather thrive on it, which is rare in a public person.”

“I don't have any plugs or tucks but people do what they want. I look at it as mutilation.”

“I don't think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives.”

“I don't want people to know what I'm actually like. It's not good for an actor.”

“I hate giving advice, because people won't take it.”

“I have a lot of vanity.”

“I know I can act. There aren't too many other jobs I know how to do.”

“I learned a long time ago in Hollywood that the only person I should vote for is myself.”

“I like to not care that much about criticism, but I do care about it.”

“I never had a policy about marriage. I got married very young in life and I always think in all relationships, I've always thought that it's counterproductive to have a theory on that.”

“I sort of understood that when I first started: that you shouldn't repeat a success. Very often you're going to, and maybe the first time you do, it works. And you love it. But then you're trapped.”

“I think that's what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what is appealing to an audience is the dramatic or has to do with science fiction, and Schmidt is simply human. There's no melodrama; there's no device, It's just about a human being.”

“I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away.”

“If you get an impulse in a scene, no matter how wrong it seems, follow the impulse. It might be something and if it ain't - take two!”

“I'll tell you one thing: Don't ever give anybody your best advice, because they're not going to follow it.”

“I'm a New Wave baby, so I got very stimulated by foreign film.”

“I'm an actor who they said was wrinkled and balding and everything else when I was in my early 30's. Most of the people who wrote that who thought they were younger than me are now bald and wrinkled.”

“I'm content with the fact that I made a decent effort. That's what I've always worried about: that I wouldn't try hard enough.”

“I'm Irish. I think about death all the time.”

“I'm not hard to get along with.”

“I'm the last guy in the world to feel overlooked by the Academy.”

“In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking back, I realize I was only half right.”

“In other words, I wouldn't like to be an actor if I could only be real. I like to get wild, behaviorally wild, and it's crazy to think of any form where it's just one way.”

“It's a slight stretch of the imagination but most people are alike in most ways so I've never had any trouble identifying with the character that I'm playing.”

“I've been too many places. I'm like the bad penny.”

“I've never been able to say I've been influenced by a list of artists I like because I like thousands and thousands and I've been influenced in some way by all of them.”

“Just let the wardrobe do the acting.”

“Most of the early part of an actor's career, you do the jobs you get.”

“My motto is: more good times.”

“My whole career strategy has been to build a base so that I could take the roles I want to play. I'd hate to think that a shorter part might not be available because I was worried about my billing.”

“One of my school friends' parents owned a minigolf course, and a bunch of us kids would play there all day in the summer. Two-under deuces was a good score.”

“Played tennis for years. But you can't improve at tennis after you're 50. You get to be in your 40s, and suddenly you're a doubles player.”

“The minute that you're not learning I believe you're dead.”

“There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.”

“We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We're in a race against time, until we run out of money.”

“Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don't love.”

“Well, a younger woman is a type, but not necessarily a type for me. And what is a younger woman? I mean, I'm pretty old. Almost everyone is younger.”

“Well, I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I haven't been a rogue most of my life.”

“What's beautiful is all that counts, pal. That's all that counts.”

“When I am cast in a movie where I feel that the woman's part is more interesting, I usually start thinking about Spencer Tracy and Fred Astaire. They seem to be the most clear actors when working with women.”

“With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.”

“You only lie to two people in your life, your girlfriend and the police.”