“Every group has its idiosyncrasies, but at a certain point we all are human.”

“Everybody wants to be great at something.”

“I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles and 70,000 tickets sold, telling me that I know how to make people laugh.”

“I used to always run off at the mouth and talk about people. I just didn't know that it would make a living for me.”

“I'd pick a young white guy over an old white guy for president anytime because the younger guy is more likely to have been influenced by the great social changes of the '60s and '70s.”

“No matter how bad things are, you can at least be happy that you woke up this morning.”

“One of the most beautiful things in the world I've ever seen or heard is people laughing, even when there seems to be so little reason for them to laugh.”

“The one thing women love more than money is power.”

“There's something about having a great bottle of wine and a great cigar. Nothing compares to it.”