“Almost every day, someone asks if I ever flat iron my hair. I say, 'No, because I'm afraid it wouldn't look good and wouldn't come back curly.'”

“Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable.”

“I always make fun of KISS because I don't particularly think their music is anything.”

“I always thought marketing in general was an interesting kind of thing. I always liked commercials and billboards.”

“I don't want to be known just as 'Carrot Top.' I don't always want to be this crazy, goofy guy.”

“I have a home in Orlando. That's kind of my default 'getaway' city.”

“I have to go out for lunch and dinner because I can't cook. I need a woman to come and save me from my cooking.”

“I love to shop, especially in retro stores. I have about a million pairs of old-school sports shoes like Adidas, so that's probably my biggest vice.”

“I never looked at Gallagher like he was a threat to me.”

“I think it's important for me, for my crew and for the audience to bring something new to each show. I have friends who have done the same act, word for word for word, for 20 years. I have a problem with that. I think the audience should see something new in each show.”

“I think, over the years, I've kind of evolved.”

“I think the more you do this and the more comfortable you become on stage, you start speaking more and becoming more of a character in yourself.”

“I was the class clown at school, but at home, my family wasn't very funny.”

“I'd love to be animated. I've always wanted to jump off of a bridge and not be hurt, like Bugs Bunny.”

“It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.”

“It's weird, I never wish anything bad upon anybody, except two or three old girlfriends.”

“I've always wanted to do a segment on a talk show. Jay Leno has been such a good friend, and if he would allow me, I'd have to get it all together, but I'd like to go on 'The Tonight Show' and do a set with no props. Or come out with a trunk and never touch it. Or come out with a clear trunk with nothing in it.”

“I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And there are times when something I don't think is funny makes the audience laugh so hard.”

“I've got the long hair and kind of androgynous look. It's love-hate; it's sexy, but not sexy. So it's either you get it or you don't.”

“My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.”

“On the weekends, I would go down and play these clubs in Key West or West Palm Beach or surrounding areas of Florida and then I'd go back to school for the week.”

“People always want to put a label on you; they always want to compare you to something.”

“People do give me a hard time about my hair because it's orange and it's big.”

“So I try not to look too far into the future because I think that everything happens and will happen for a reason.”

“Video games are so popular these days, getting the opportunity to star in one is something special. More people should do it.”

“When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me.”