“100 million iphones don't lie. What an amazing man. He is the apple of all of our i's. We have an i everything and its all so amazing.”

“Dinner, basketball game, four guys - classic.”

“E.T.' and 'Extra,' they are too salacious. They go, Oooh, Katie Couric just broke up with X. 'Access Hollywood' is really good entertainment news. It's not dirty, and we don't get cheap.”

“Everybody thinks the Bushes are from Texas. I've been there twice.”

“I don't do politics. I just like to laugh.”

“I have the iPad and I love Words With Friends.”

“I was a choir boy for 3 years in high school at St. George's in Newport, Rhode Island.”

“I'm a blue-shirt guy.”

“I'm not slick. I'm not polished. I think my strength is in reacting.”

“In radio I had one, maybe two people who cared about getting it done. I'd really be a loser if I forgot where I came from. So I show them the love. And how hard is it really to be interested in someone's life?”

“In the next minute, I will be entirely naked. In the minute after that, fully dressed.”

“Professional golfer... what a life.”

“Steadman! Any guy that's got Oprah as a girlfriend, I mean that's a good dude. I want to talk to him.”