"Look at M. T. Pate," said Tom Seddon, as he sat with Toney and the Professor on deck one morning, about a week after they had been at sea.

The ship was running at the rate of nine knots, with the wind on the quarter.

"He treads as tremulously as a turkey condemned to the ordeal of tripping over a liberal sprinkling of hot ashes," said the Professor.

"Getting his sea-legs," said Old Tim, as he toddled by with a rope in his hand.

"Our venerable friend suggests that Pate is about to undergo a metamorphosis and become amphibious," said the Professor.

"What are Wiggins and Botts doing yonder?" said Toney.

"Hugging!" said Tom.

"The hug of the Old Grizzly is dangerous," said the Professor.

"And Perch and Hercules seem to have fraternized," said Toney.

"The Long Green Boy is clinging to the giant as the vine clings to the oak," said the Professor.

"Poor Moses!" said Toney.

"Look at him!" said Tom.

"His eyes are amply dilated," said the Professor.

"He is afraid that the ship will be upset," said Tom.

"How do you think that Pate would now perform on the light fantastic toe?" said Toney.

"Speaking of that suggests an idea," said the Professor.

"What is that?" asked Toney.

"Next Thursday will be Washington's birthday," said the Professor.

"Well?" said Toney.

"Let us have a ball," said the Professor.

"A ball!" exclaimed Toney.

"A ball!" cried Tom.

"Yes," said the Professor, "let us have a ball for the fun of the thing."

"We are the Funny Philosophers," said Toney.

"Let us have the ball," said Tom.

"But where are the ladies?" said Toney.

"There are no representatives of these sweet 'wingless angels' on board except the captain's spouse," said the Professor.

"Who has sailed in company with her weather-beaten consort for some twenty years," said Toney.

"And is as good a seaman as himself," said Tom.

"Do not be tossing the queen's English on the horns of an Irish bull," said the Professor. "Yet what you say is measurably true; for when the venerable Timothy is more than ordinarily sad and susceptible of melancholy impressions, he is often heard to bitterly complain of his hard lot in being compelled to serve under a 'she boss,' who, he alleges, is the better man of the two."

"I have no doubt," said Tom, "of the ability of this ancient lady to carry the ship safely through the dangers of the most difficult navigation."

"But," said Toney, "I hardly suppose that she would be able to steer through the intricate mazes of a fashionable hop without the imminent danger of running aground."

"Yet," said the Professor, "her presence on board relieves us from a perplexing dilemma."

"How so?" asked Toney.

"There can be no doubt," said the Professor, "that in sundry sea-chests she has stowed away an incalculable quantity of female attire. Now, if I can but obtain the run of her wardrobe, the preparations for the ball will be made without difficulty."

"Let us call a meeting in the cabin," said Toney.

"A most excellent suggestion!" said the Professor. "Let the meeting be immediately convened."

A meeting of the passengers resulted in a determination to have a grand ball in honor of the birthday of the immortal Washington, and the Professor was unanimously chosen to make the arrangements. He immediately entered upon the performance of his arduous and important duties. After a negotiation, which was conducted on his part with the skill of a consummate diplomatist, he succeeded in concluding an advantageous treaty with the captain's lady, and obtained an abundant supply of female apparel. A number of the most youthful of the passengers were then subjected to a tonsorial operation, obliterating every indication of a nascent beard from their features; after which they were arrayed in the garments obtained from the old lady's wardrobe.

"Don't they look beautiful?" said Tom Seddon.

"Just like a bevy of blushing and modest maidens," said Toney.

"The susceptible Long Green Boy has fallen in love with one of them already," said Tom.

"I fear that he will again be the victim of a hopeless attachment," said Toney.

"I regret the absence of Love and Dove," said the Professor.

"What nice little ladies they would have made!" said Tom.

"Their dancing days are over," said Toney.

"Matrimony imposes important duties," said the Professor; "and the little Loves and Doves will soon claim their undivided attention."

The ball-room was a long apartment, under the forecastle, called the forward cabin. It was illuminated by a number of lamps, which "shone o'er fair women and brave men" assembled to enjoy that "scene of revelry by night."

"Look at Moses!" said Tom Seddon.

"The young man seems to be greatly terrified," said the Professor.

"He is like one under an optical illusion," said Toney.

"Moses believes he is now in the presence of more than a dozen beautiful women," said Tom.

"And has shrunk timidly in a corner to avoid the observation of the enemy," said Toney.

"He has attracted the attention of a young maiden who has fixed her bright glances on him, as if meditating mischief," said the Professor.

"She is a bold girl," said Toney.

"Strangely forgetful of the obvious rules of propriety!" said the Professor.

"Poor Moses is protesting," said Toney.

"But in vain; for she has grappled him around the waist," said Tom.

"And is carrying him by main force into the middle of the floor," said Toney.

"Was ever such vigor witnessed among virgins!" said Tom.

"Never since the extinction of the Amazonian race!" said the Professor.

"Moses and his partner lead off," said Toney.

"Clear the way!" said Tom, as each gayly attired gallant selected a partner; and soon "the fun grew fast and furious."

"Mr. Pate seems to be perfectly at home in the dance," said the Professor.

"And so does the Long Green Boy," said Toney.

"Old Grizzly is performing his part admirably," said Tom.

"He is peeping from behind a masked battery of black beard upon the charms of his agreeable partner," said Toney.

"The young lady should beware of his hug," said Tom.

"The pair forcibly remind one of the old story of Beauty and the Beast," said the Professor.

"Hercules and the damsel with whom he is dancing require an immense amount of sea-room," said Toney.

"Heads up!" exclaimed Tom. And, as he uttered this exclamation, the ship, which had been running on an even keel, gave a sudden lurch to the larboard, upsetting all the fun in an instant, and spoiling the poetry of motion.

and Hercules pitched headforemost with his partner into a bunk. The indignant damsel arose and gave utterance to a wish the literal fulfillment of which would have found Hercules, poor fellow! sadly in need of the aid of an experienced oculist.

After the ceremony of a general prostration there was a tumultuous rush for the companion-ladder. The Professor reached the deck, after having inadvertently perpetrated the atrocious outrage of tearing away a considerable portion of female finery from the person of a fair damsel who was boldly mounting ahead, and who bestowed upon him sundry benedictions of singular import. The first object he beheld was M. T. Pate on his knees in an attitude of supplication.

"What's the matter, Mr. Pate?" exclaimed the Professor.

"Now I lay me down to sleep!" ejaculated Pate, with extreme fervor.

"What has happened?" cried Tom Seddon.

"Now I lay me down to sleep!" reiterated Pate.

"No time for praying! You had better cut your yarn short and lay hold on a rope," said the mate, in emphatic terms by no means in unison with Pate's devotional sentiments.

"What's broke loose?" said Toney.

"The ship has been taken aback!" cried the mate. And he rushed forward and commenced kicking old Tim, who was lying supinely on his back in a condition of somnolency.

The crew had been inspired with patriotic emotions equal to those of the passengers, and, while getting up water from below, had discovered a case of brandy, and secretly conveyed it to the forecastle. Here the multitude of libations in honor of the father of his country had been productive of serious consequences.

In the course of the evening the mate saw approaching one of those sudden squalls so common in those latitudes, and ordered all hands aloft. But he might as well have been issuing his orders to the inmates of a bedlam. There lay Timothy on the deck, a picture of perfect repose and innocent tranquillity. Peter and Paul were engaged in a hot controversy with Old Nick, whose youthful namesake was occupied with certain saltatory movements on the top of the forecastle. Just then the squall struck the ship and nearly carried the lee-rail under. In an instant the instincts of the sailor were aroused, and all had an idea that something was to be done; but there was a strange want of unanimity in reference to the measures proper to be adopted. Forth rushed the captain from his cabin; but his occupation was gone. There stood Old Nick, giving orders vociferously, evidently under the impression that he had been recently promoted and was an admiral of the blue. This daring usurper was finally disposed of by the second mate, who put himself in the attitude of a shoulder-striker and laid him at his length in an undignified position in the lee-scupper.

It was then that the dancers from the ball-room rushed upon deck. These—ladies and all—laid hold on the ropes; and under the direction of the officers the canvas was taken in, and the vessel was relieved from her perilous situation and brought before the wind.

"Great praise is due to the petticoats," said the Professor, "who, by laying aside their modesty and climbing into the rigging, materially assisted in saving the ship."

"The women have behaved like men," said Toney.

"Let us drink their health," said Tom.

"That proposition is carried unanimously," said Toney. And they proceeded to the cabin and toasted the ladies over a bottle of wine.