A Few Mythological and Classical Names.

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Brought down to date in brief Notes by the Editor.

ACHILLES. A courageous Greek, who did a general slaughtering business in Troy in 1180 B.C., but was finally pinked in the heel—his only vulnerable spot—and died.


Long life often depends on being well heeled.


ADONIS. A beautiful youth, beloved by Venus and killed by a boar.


Bores have been the death of us ever since.


BACCHUS. A brewer, who supplied the Gods with nectar, the beer that made Olympus famous.


Those desiring a drink, please ask Dickens if "Bacchus is willin'."


CASTOR AND POLLUX. Two clever sports and twin brothers from Greece, Castor being a horse-trainer and Pollux a pugilist, whose sister, Helen, a respectable, married woman, disgraced the family by eloping with Paris.


Just because a man can break a broncho or win a prize fight, it's no sign he can manage a woman.


CERBERUS. A dog with three heads, a serpent's tail and several snakes around his neck, who guarded the main entrance to Hades.


When a man begins to see snakes and one head looks like three, it's a cinch he's not far from Hell.


CHARON. The gloomy gondolier of the Styx, who carried the dead to the Other World—if they paid him first.


And even to-day, he who patronizes Rapid Transit must pay his fare in advance.


CUPID. The son of Venus and the God of Love, who with bow and arrows punctured men's bosoms with the darts of admiration.


But now-a-days the arrow's not in it with a snug bathing suit or a decollette gown.


DAEDALUS. The original Santos Dumont, who invented and successfully operated a flying-machine that would fly. His son, Icarus, tried the trick, went too high and fell into the sea.


A flier frequently precedes a fall—especially in Wall Street.


DIANA. The goddess of the chase; unmarried.


And this is very fitting. May the chase always be for the unmarried only!


HERCULES. The Gritty Greek (no relation to the Terrible Turk), an independent laborer, who always had a good job awaiting him.


It is interesting to recall the days when non-union labor had all the work it wanted.


IXION. A king of Thessaly, who for his sins was broken on a wheel.


And men have been going broke on "the wheel" ever since.


LOTUS EATERS. A gang of ancient vegetarians, who chewed leaves and went to sleep.


Now succeeded by a club of New Yorkers, who chew the rag and keep awake.


MERCURY. A celestial messenger-boy, who wore wings on his shoes and knew how "to get there" in a hurry.


Now they all wear hobbles, and never exceed the speed limit in a public thoroughfare.


MIDAS. A Greek king, who had the power of turning into gold all that he touched.


That's nothing! There are plenty of men to-day who always get gold whoever they touch.


SAPPHO. A love-lorn poetess, who, failing to win the man she first loved, cured herself by jumping into the Mediterranean.


She probably acted on the old advice, "There's plenty more fish in the sea!"


TANTALUS. A proud king, who suffered in Hades the agonies of hunger and thirst, with food and drink always in sight, but always beyond reach.


Here on earth, the 50-cent table d'hote accomplishes the same result—besides costing you the fifty.


TROY. An ancient, oriental city, which took in a wooden horse and saw the domestic finish of Helen and Paris.


Do not confuse with Troy, N.Y., where they only take in washing and provide a domestic finish for collars and shirts.


VULCAN. The Olympian blacksmith, who always had his hammer with him.


But not all who carry hammers are blacksmiths.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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