“I WILL now,” said the author, “without more ado tell the true story of Rumpelstiltskin. It was, I think, Professor Boxer, of a celebrated university, who traced in it a complete articulation of the Hittite sun-mythology. He was not deceived by the superficial appearance of elegant nonsense. He observed that Rumpel (as he called him for short), like Jahwe, laid great stress on concealing his true name. Nor did he believe that it was likely that even Rumpel was anything other than a disguise. ‘Who?’ he effectively inquired, ‘would answer to such a name?’ Clearly, he concluded the name was one of which the utterance might be supposed to unloose the struts of the world. Now, for my part, I cannot go the whole way with Professor Boxer. That the story has a deep symbolism nobody, least of all one who makes his livelihood by the pretence, would deny. But that it is Hittite in origin, no one who has studied the customs of that astounding people the Hivites would for a moment assert. Taking first the evidence of the Rosetta stone, what do we find?”

“That you have lately been on a personally conducted tour round the British Museum,” harshly interrupted the publisher.

“And if I have,” cried the author, “am I to be forbidden the simple pleasure of showing off to my readers who have not had a similar experience? Am I to have no humanity, no expansion, no freedom? In short, am I writing this book, or are you?”

“If you are going to take that line,” said the publisher, “you will force me to inquire on whom the financial risk falls? With income-tax——”

“Very well,” said the author. “As I detest bickering, I will handle the story differently, though I am not prepared to abandon my Hivites.”

“That damned old Jew,” began the representative of the well-known Hittite newspaper....

“Hush,” said his Hivite colleague in the press gallery of the Convention of the Association of Peoples, “here he is.”“It is my belief,” muttered the Hittite, “that he is the authentic Wandering Jew. He appears with his white beard and his parcel at all international meetings. I believe he is a plague-carrier! Good-day,” he added aloud, “Monsieur Moses that goes always well!”

The white-bearded old man deposited his heavy parcel with a sigh. “As usual,” he said, “I find nobody to relieve me of this.” “It would seem very heavy,” said the Hivite. “It is very heavy,” said the old Jew; “try to lift it.” The Hivite bent down and strained with all his strength. The parcel shifted not an inch.

“Heavens!” he said, looking respectfully at the old man. “You must be strong. But what is it—lead or gold?”

“The name you call the metal,” said the old man wearily, “is a matter of taste. It is at any rate difficult to support, in which, as your Hittite colleague is thinking, it is not unlike me.” “My God! what a suggestion,” said the Hittite, whose true thought had been accurately expressed. “But, putting on one side your play of spirit, tell us as among colleagues what is your object?” “To hand over my charge to one worthy to carry it,” said the old man. “And do you expect to find him among this collection of international lawmongers?” inquired the Hittite. “Where else?” said the Jew. “Do you, then,” inquired the Hivite, “believe in international law?” “I sometimes pretend,” said the old man, smilingly, “that I invented it. But pardon me! The ceremony is about to begin.”

The hall below was filled to overflowing. All the delegations were in their places, all showing in their dress that the occasion was one of a very especial character. From the press gallery, which was behind the platform on which the president and the officers of the Convention sat, could be observed the veiled statue of International Concord, which the president was that day to dedicate. Almost immediately that gentleman, followed by a train, beribboned like himself, walked solemnly on to the platform and took his seat.

The delegations settled down to listen to his speech, anticipating, as they were entitled to upon his reputation, a superb effort. But before the president could rise to speak a delegate from East Oceania rose to a point of order. He was anxious to do nothing to mar the harmony of so auspicious an occasion, but he wished to know whether any arrangements had been made as to the order of speeches. He represented a small country, but one no less passionately devoted to the cause of international concord than some of those larger ones, owing to whose ambition his country found itself so reduced.

The president rose to observe that any delegate who desired would, if he caught his eye, be heard. On such an occasion it would be suitable that representatives of all classes of nations should be heard. The representative of West Oceania rose to inquire what was meant by classes of nations. Was this an indirect gibe at the smaller nations? If so, he would observe that they had suffered enough already at the hands of their great neighbours. The president, who had risen to express the hope that delegates would not indulge in controversy, was interrupted by the delegate from Central Oceania, who observed that on behalf of his Government he indignantly repudiated the calumnies that had fallen from the lips of the last two speakers. It was owing to the strong hand of nations such as his that this glorious scene of international amity was achieved. And to drive home that assertion, let him remind the Convention that the symbol of concord chosen, namely a griffin, was the emblem of his State.

The president again endeavoured to closure the discussion, but was forced to give way to the delegate of the Eurasian Empire, who said that while he entirely agreed with the general position taken up by his Central Oceanic colleague, he was bound to correct him on a point of detail. The design which had been approved by the Commission, of which he had had the honour of acting as chairman, was not a griffin, but the bull of Melem-to-Pek, his country’s ensign. The Trans-Oceanic delegate demanded the word. Upon its being granted, he remarked that not for the first time had the Eurasian Empire endeavoured to confuse the issue. As the result of what he was bound to call an unfortunate alliance with the Hivites—contrary to the spirit of the international tables—that empire believed that with its ally it could dictate to the whole world. Fortunately, however, those who, like his country and their friends, the Hittites, believed in internationalism were not prepared to stand by and see this robber combination—— The Hivite and Eurasian delegates leapt to their feet amid a growing volume of cries. When order was restored it was observed that the delegate of Prester John had the floor. He desired simply to observe that the symbol, for what it was worth, was merely a dragon, the sign of the oldest culture in the world. When the barbarians of the West——

The tumult was renewed, and this time the president found himself quite unable to cope with the situation. At last a member of the secretariat in the gallery had the brilliant idea of tugging at the cord which suspended the veil. As it fell a sudden hush fell on the crowd, and then as the gold image was revealed the cries were renewed: “The Griffin of Central Oceania,” “The Bull of Melem-to-Pek,” “The Gold Dragon,” “The Hesperidan Sheep.”

“Silence!” roared a voice of thunder.

All the delegates paused in utter astonishment and looked at the press gallery, whence this outrageous interjection had proceeded. There they observed the old Jew standing transfigured and terrible.

“Fools,” he said, “do you not see that it is a golden calf?” and with that, before anyone could speak or interfere, he drew a shining object from his parcel and aimed it at the image, shattering it to fragments.

In a moment the whole Convention were on their feet, shouting and cursing. A rush was made for the gallery, but the old Jew was not to be found. When those on the platform examined the missile it was discovered to be a great stone tablet inscribed with Hebrew characters. Unfortunately there was nobody present who knew that language. Some, however, said that it was a rival code of honour known among the Jews as “The Ten Points” or “The Ten Commandments,” but others (and these were the large majority) saw in it only a further proof of the well-known Jewish determination to destroy civilisation.

On the motion of the Philistine delegation, it was unanimously decided to exclude the Jews from the Association of Peoples. International harmony having thus been restored, the president was enabled to deliver his speech, which, it was generally agreed, was a magnificent contribution to the cause of international peace and goodwill.