THE "CHURL" OF THE PERIOD; AND ANOTHER. A LEGEND OF THE PAST, PRESENT, AND FUTURE. The Churl. W ild , wild was the night on the wild, wild karoo-- Confoundedly wild near the kraal called "Barroo" (Although after Kirkwood's advertisement readin', You'd think "Barroo Kraal" Hottentot-Dutch for Eden); Well, the storm monarch reigned in this wild wilderness, And a trav'ler who hailed from the port Little Bess, Reined his charger and then through the darkness did peer, Twigged some lights and concluded a liver was near; For he longed that he shortly some shelter might find, Did this travel-worn Reed shaken by the wild wind . The lightning was blazing behind and before, So he thundered away at the house of the Boer. In a crack and his crackers , mynheer did appear, And exclaimed, "In de naam van de drommel, wie's daar?" Said the stranger, "I'm shaking from toe-tip to crown, These roads shake me up, so I crave a shake-down ! Barroo Kraal's some distance,--my steed is so weary, He'd ne'er crawl to carry me near to friend Cary . I don't care-a-button how poor is your cheer, But in mercy I pray you to put me somewhere." Mynheer gave a grunt, and he slammed to the door, And our friend was "left out in the cold" as before. Three months had passed by when quite early one day This intractable Boer made tracks to the Bay. He was met by our friend, who had now ceased to roam, And kindly invited to go with him home. So he went with our friend and entered his house, And was thus introduced to his genial spouse. "I've brought home a queer kind of homo , my dear, Let not home-opathy curtail your cheer, Get best things in season, in order to show Hospitality's here as well's up by Barroo!" The table soon groaned 'neath the daintiest store That ever yet tickled the taste of a Boer-- Mynheer guzzled coffee with Hennessy's "stick" in, And stowed away no end of broiled ham and chicken; The crevices filling up well with poached eggs, Till, tight as a drum, he arose on his legs-- His host arose also--and cried, "You old beast! You've sat at my table and gorged at my feast! And you're welcome. You taught me some three months ago How you receive trav'lers who can't reach 'Barroo;' I've returned you the compliment, old boy, to-day, For I've shown you how guests are received at the Bay-- Lest the lesson be lost on so churlish a lout, Take that, sir!--and that!" and he kicked him bang out. Another. A Governor felt it his duty to go To arrange matters 'twixt one King John and his foe, Between whom had arisen bloodthirsty dissensions, But t'wards this Boer King he'd the kindest intentions. John couldn't have treated him worse had he been The agent of Moshesh instead of the Queen. Not a single gun popped off a sensation louder-- (Perhaps that's because he was hard up for powder)-- But, for all that was done by this potentate bold, Sir Philip too might have stopped "out in the cold," For the welcome John gave him a name comes in handy, The spirit he showed to his guest was Boer-Brandy . Three months had passed by, and King John, now at peace, From work and for office obtained a re-lease ; So primed well with blue-blacks he thought he'd go down To spend them and his holidays there in Cape Town. When the Governor heard John was coming that way, He said, " ' Tis my turn at 'reception' to play. Let those guns which since Duke Alfred came have been mute Be charged to discharge him a royal salute, Cripps! lion King John, like a real kingly brute ; And soldiers! be sure you do the right thing, Let an orderly tend this disorderly king! Get rolls of tobacco his pipe well to cram, And lay in a stock of Cape smoke and schiedam, And order some horse hides, first hand, from our knacker's, To make him a pair of right regal Boer crackers-- He'll go to bed in them, but that doesn't matter; Put him up in my bed, 'twill his vanity flatter, I can sleep on the sofa or hearthrug instead-- We must heap coals of fire on King Johnny's head. He has shown me how friends are received in the Free State; I'll show him how foes are received here by me. Moral. 'Twill be strange now if all this "reception" and rout Should end in John's getting the "dirty kick out." W. H. Bidwell. Uitenhage , 24th June 1869 .