  I'm twenty-two—I'm twenty-two— They gaily give me joy, As if I should be glad to hear That I was less a boy. They do not know how carelessly Their words have given pain, To one whose heart would leap to be A happy boy again. I had a light and careless heart When this brief year began, And then I pray'd that I might be A grave and perfect man. The world was like a blessed dream Of joyous coming years— I did not know its manliness Was but to wake in tears. A change has on my spirit come, I am forever sad; The light has all departed now My early feelings had; I used to love the morning grey, The twilight's quiet deep, But now like shadows on the sea, Upon my thoughts they creep. And love was like a holy star, When this brief year was young, And my whole worship of the sky On one sweet ray was flung; But worldly things have come between, And shut it from my sight, And though the star shines purely yet, I mourn its hidden light. And fame! I bent to it the knee, And bow'd to it my brow, And it is like a coal upon My living spirit now— But when I pray'd for burning fire To touch the soul I bow'd, I did not know the lightning flash Would come in such a cloud. Ye give me joy! Is it because Another year has fled?— That I am farther from my youth, And nearer to the dead? Is it because my cares have come?— My happy boyhood o'er?— Because the visions I have lov'd Will visit me no more? Oh, tell me not that ye are glad! I cannot smile it back; I've found no flower, and seen no light On manhood's weary track. My love is deep—ambition deep— And heart and mind will on— But love is fainting by the way, And fame consumes ere won. |
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