  Frenzied by the destroying curse of drink, In fury uncontrolled I struck him down; The insult was bitter, and I went mad—insane— And with one fell blow slew him, and fled the town. In a moment I was sobered, and realized The awful deed my savage hand had done, And a dreadful terror on my senses fell; Before arrest, stern punishment had begun. Oh! the horror of that moment when I realized That I my fellow man, once friend, had slain; That I was lost forever and for evermore, And my brow burned deep by the damning brand of Cain. “Lost! lost!” I cried in agony to heaven. Demoniac laughter on my pained ear fell— The answer to my prayer came not from heaven; It seemed to rise from lurid voids of hell. Pursued, arrested, and for life condemned— Caged as a wild beast behind bolts and bars— The iron door closed out the world so fair, The panoply of heaven, sun, moon, and stars; Closed out home, mother, father, sister, brother, And one that was so fair, and loved me so; Broken are their hearts, because I was so dear In the sinless happy days of long ago. Once only was I lured by the red wine, And joined the revel in the maddening bowl. Lost was all the world, and ruined was my soul; Forgotten was my mother’s warning, and I saw not the pit made for unwary feet, But past the portal and the dividing line, My awful ruin was complete. Stunned, and almost crazed by agony And remorse, I wept such bitter burning tears As come from those, all lost to earth and heaven, Who, hopeless, brood o’er past and following years. I prayed with awful fervency to heaven To forgive and heal my weary, broken heart, Appealing for the lowliest place in paradise, That I might with the angels bear some humble part. I know not, but sometimes it seems to me A pitying God will my fell deed forgive; Will lift the grievous burden from my weary soul, And let the suffering, forsaken sinner live. And thus I wait behind the bars and iron door, In gloomy corridor or stifling cell, Suffering the nameless horrors of the damned In this relentless, dreary, earthly hell. |
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