And has she gone--that fair, frail, gentle flower--
Out in this scene of winter's frost-forged power?
Oh, heaven, have I been selfish in my woe?
Sweet angels guard her through the blinding snow.
Ethel, my child, my comforter, my stay,
It seems a long dream since the summer day
When first she came to me, in that far land
Where the bright Darro laves the gleaming sand.
'Neath the blue skies of Spain her baby feet
First walked amid the southern bowers, sweet
With breath of jasemine; and the green vines twined
Their gentle arms, clasping the golden rind
Of ripened oranges, and the rose-hung bowers
Glowed with the glory of a thousand flowers.
And oft at night, up the dark waters came
The splash of oars, beneath the stars white flame
Sounded the solemn chant of sailors nigh,
"Ave Maria! save us, hear our cry."
But to my babe and I there came no hymn,
No hallowing words amid the olives dim,
Only the same dark blight on every scene,
The leper's mournful cry, "Unclean, unclean."
For then 'twas whispered that dark deeds of shame
Wreathed with a viper's slime our household name.
I know not all the truth, but I am sure
The path of sin is downward, and the poor
Weak soul that yields is bound by fetters tight
'Till comes the end as it has come to-night.
And he lies there; oh, in this bitter cup
Which Thou, my Father, bids't me drink up.
I bless thy strong, calm power, which, through the years,
The long, dark, downward time of change and tears
Hast kept before my dimmed and fading sight
One word which warned with an undying light,
When love had proved an "ignis fatuus" gleam.
Duty stood forward with a godlike beam,
And brought before the fainting sickened heart,
The words God listened to, "till death us part,"
Two short words, Love and Duty, when together
How bearable the rains of stormy weather;
But when they unclasp hands, e'en then the dew
Grows into ice-points, piercing through and through.
"Till death us part," and am I really free?
Is the chain severed for eternity?
Look back my conscience, for the hours go fast,
Through the dim corridors of the far past.
Oh memory, from what point will thou start,
Back to the time when Victor won my heart;
He was my idol, bright star of my life,
Our home was planned, I was to be his wife;
When off to India he sailed far away,
Expecting to return an early day.
Ah, that last night when he put out to sea,
When by his side I sang "Abide with me;"
Ah, mournful days, yet hopes bright fires would burn,
Giving warm promise of his quick return,
Oft would I stand beside the untiring seas,
And send him words of love and trust like these:

"Evening's gloom is round me now,
Evening's breeze is whispering low,
Gentle murmuring voices wake
From the ripples of the lake.
Maker of the land and sea,
Hear my humble evening plea,
Father, hear me as I pray,
One I love is far away.

Guide the bark that bears him on,
Up the mountain's towering height,
And the misty damps of night,
In the city's moving throng,
With the wood-dove's sweetest song,
By the lonely river's marge,
O'er him give Thy angels charge.

In his hours of gladsome mirth,
Round some warm and welcome hearth,
In the halls of keen debate,
And the pomp and pride of state,
Cheer his spirit with love's beams
Lighten up his midnight dreams;
In his wanderings free and wild,
Father, keep him, as Thy child.

From the pestilential blight,
From the sun-beams scorching light,
From temptation's mighty power,
In some lone unguarded hour.
From the dangers that we know,
From the dark undreamt of foe,
From the death-splash of the wave,
Father, hear and help and save."

Then came the tidings brought by Robert's hand,
Victor lay buried in a far off land;
Died, wafting my name up to Heaven in prayer,
Leaving his promised bride to Robert's care.
Oft it has puzzled me, until my brain
Has racked itself from thinking into pain,
Why Victor left me thus, for in the past
He surely loved not Robert, perhaps at last
He saw things differently and thought it best
And had his wishes writ, e're he could rest.
But oh, the agony of those past hours;
It seems on looking back, that all my flowers
Looked mournfully at me and drooped their heads,
And lay like dying children in their beds;
And the bright birds in the vine-covered wall
Sang the sad chords of "The Dead March in Saul;"
And I was living, but all else were dead,
The sunbeam shimmered sickly o'er my head,
As when a ray peers in a darkened room,
Where one beneath a pall awaits his tomb.
Robert was ever near when Victor died,
And soon he sought to win me for his bride;
He told me how he'd loved me many years,
Loved him I loved, kindly he dried my tears,
Pictured my desolate and lonely lot,
Urged me to go with him to some new spot
Where all the past should be but as a dream,
And our lives glide gently down life's stream.
I told him that my heart was far away,
Beneath the palm where Victor's body lay;
That nightly in my dreams I heard the splash
Upon the shores where Ganges' waters dash.
I told him all my hope now was to stand
Amid the quiet of God's summerland;
Beneath another palm tree's shade to be,
And list the murmurs of the crystal sea.
But Robert loved me; I became his wife;
Could I forsee the sunken rocks of life?
And he was handsome then, and kind, and bright;
Could I foretell eclipses? then the night.
Oh, I have looked sometimes upon that face,
When robbed of every lineament of grace,
And I have cried unto the heavens above,
"It was not this, O God, I pledged to love;
Unsteady gait, wild brain and selfish heart--"
Flashed the red lights of danger "till death part."
Tell me, soul-searching ray, if erst I strove
To cherish, feed and guard where grew no love.
We sailed away to far Australia's shore,
Oh, the long days passed near the ocean's roar.
For him on whom I leaned in hope and trust,
Proved but coarse clay that crumbled soon to dust.
Drinking and gambling, sharks that swallow whole,
Homes, jewels, money, reason, body, soul.
Alone, for weeks to hear none call my name,
And happier alone; then baby came,
My firstborn, precious boy, I lived for him
For months; then his bright eyes grew dim,
And where the reeds and grass grew rank and wild,
We made a grave for Willie, darling child.
Ah, well I ween the night we laid him there,
I went to watch his grave; day had been fair,
But eve came up with thunder's muttered growl,
And ever and anon the lightning's scowl
Flashed angrily upon me as I viewed
The breakers dashing on the sea beach rude.
I grew passionate amid the whirlwind's sigh,
It had no word of comfort, loud was its cry,
And deep, dark was the struggle of my soul,
As I watched the billows onward roll.
There came no ray of hope across my breast,
As I turned toward my place of wild unrest;
I looked in vain for calmness, up on high,
It was not God's time for rainbows in the sky.
I went again next eve; there was no storm,
The full moon lighted up each darkening form;
'Twas the glory of a summer's bloom,
And I went onward to my baby's tomb.
I laid fresh flowers above the cold in death,
I felt upon my cheek warm zephyr's breath,
It seemed as if an angel had swept by
Across the grass where I too longed to lie;
And I saw the glorious sweep of moonbeams
Gilding the white rocks, circling all the streams
With rays of glory; I knelt on the bank,
Watching the picture, till my lone heart sank
Down to the depths; I could have slept to death,
My wounds seemed to defy the balmy breath
Of nature to restore my peace; my hands
I stretched out o'er the sea to northern lands,
I moved so swiftly o'er the moon gilt foam,
I stood once more within my father's home,
Could almost hear the village bells ring out,
Could almost hear the merry children's shout,
Could breathe the scent of violet and rose,
Walked down the dells where the pale primrose grows.
Ah, tell the truth, felt once again the bliss
Of Victor's loving clasp and burning kiss,
Felt his fond arms enfold me to his breast,
And I a bird safe in its shadowy nest,
And then the vision vanished; I was there,
A prey to sorrow, loneliness and care,
Like one who spends in a dark mine his life,
My baby dead, and I a drunkard's wife.
Then came a thought on Him of Mary born,
Who turned not back for spear or cross or thorn,
And through the murmurings of breeze and bay,
A voice seemed whispering to me, "Watch and pray."
I knelt as He knelt on the grassy sod,
And following Him I prayed for strength from God;
A sweet bird suddenly broke into song,
A soft air trembled through the branches strong,
And my soul rose on the pure air to Heaven,
Thus to my heart was hope and comfort given.
While by that grave I sang "Abide with me,"
As on the night when Victor went to sea;
Ah, I was leaning then upon the breast
That five-and-twenty years has been at rest.
Oh, Victor! art thou gone so far away
That thou cans't hear no earth tone night or day?
Sometimes it seems as if thou wert not far,
Nearer and warmer than the nearest star.
How the wind moans--Ethel, my precious one,
Where shall we wander by to-morrow's sun?
Homeless and friendless in a stranger land,
Our Saviour help and aid; Thy mighty hand
Can save, Thine ear can list each bitter moan.
Hark! Ethel's voice, she comes, and not alone!