"There was a crooked man,

And he went a crooked mile;

He found a crooked sixpence

Against a crooked stile:

He bought a crooked cat,

Which caught a crooked mouse;

And they all lived together

In a little crooked house."

Once begin with a crook,

You 'll go on with a crook;

Crooked ways, crooked luck, crooked peo-

ple.

Crooked eyes, crooked mind,

Crooked guideposts will find;

Yes, a crook in the very church-steeple!

The first mile you make

The initial will take

For all the long leagues that shall follow:

Right and left, fork and swerve,

Any turn that will serve,

Up and down, betwixt hummock and hol-

low.

If you pause at a stile

Or a fence for a while,

Some twist must compel or invite you:

Even sin, I've a doubt,

Were it straight out and out,

Could hardly persuade or delight you.

And a shave, or a bend,

Or a nick, must commend,

For you, every quarter and nickel:

Right pure from the mint,

There were no magic in't

Your trick-loving finger to tickle.

Crooked money will buy

But a crook or a lie,

Whatever the ware that you deal in

Your position in life,

Your companions, your wife,

Or even a playfellow feline

And as thief catches thief

In the common belief,

Be the creature a cat or a woman,

The crooked shall still

Find the crooked at will,

And you 'll see the old saw sayeth true, man.

In kin, neighbors, house,

In a servant or mouse,

She will always put paw on her likeness:

The same rule runs through,

For the false and the true,—

Straight to straight, and oblique to oblique-

ness.

So together, you see,

As you build, you shall be,

Every line of the mould in the casting;

And a nice little world

You 'll have made, when you 've

curled

And squirmed to your state everlasting!