CONTENTS. Page
INTRODUCTION 3

PREFACE, IN IMITATION OF THE FIRST SATIRE OF
PERSIUS 5

REFLECTIONS, ADDRESSED TO THOSE WHO CAN
THINK.

Reflections of an Author—Weighty Reasons for writing—
Magister Artis Ingeniique Largitor Venter—Choice of Subject
considered—Advice of Index, the Bookseller—Of the Nature
of Prefaces—How to commence a new Work 7

A FEW THOUGHTS ON MYSELF 14

A SHANDEAN SCENE, BETWEEN LADY MARY OLD—
STYLE AND HORATIO HEARTLY 17

SCHOOL—BOY REMINISCENCES. ON EARLY FRIEND—
SHIP 22

CHARACTER OF BERNARD BLACKMANTLE. BY
HORATIO HEARTLY 25

ETON SKETCHES OF CHARACTER 32

THE FIVE PRINCIPAL ORDERS OF ETON—DOCTOR,
DAME, COLLEGER, OPPIDAN, AND CAD. A
Sketch taken opposite the Long Walk 42

ETON DAMES; AN ODE, NEITHER AMATORY, ILL—
NATURED, NOR PATHETIC 43

ELECTION SATURDAY.
A Peep at the Long Chambers—The Banquet—Reflections
on parting—Arrival of the Provost of King's College, Cam—
bridge, and the Pozers—The Captain's Oration—Busy Monday
—The Oppidan's Farewell—Examination and Election of the
Collegers who stand for King's—The aquatic Gala and Fire—
works—Oxonian Visitors—Night—Rambles in Eton—Transfor-
mations of Signs and Names—The Feast at the Christopher,
with a View of the Oppidan's Museum, and Eton Court of
Claims 58

AN ETON ELECTION SCENE 59

HERBERT STOCKHORE, THE MONTEM POET
LAUREATE.

A Sketch from the Life, as he appeared in the Montem
Procession of May, 1823. By Bernard Blackmantle and
Robert Transit 67

LIFE IN ETON; A College Chaunt in praise of private
Tutors 68

RECOLLECTIONS OF AN OLD ETONIAN 78

ETON MONTEM 96

FAREWELL TO ETON 105

MY VALE 108

THE FRESHMAN.
Reflections on leaving Eton University—A Whip—Sketches
on the Road—The Joneses of Jesus—Picturesque Appearance
of Oxford from the Distance—The Arrival—Welcome of an
Old Etonian—Visit to Dr. Dingyman—A University Don—
Presentation to the Big Wig—Ceremony of Matriculation 113

CHRIST CHURCH COLLEGE.
Architectural Reminiscences—Descriptive Remarks—Simi-
litude between the Characters of Cardinal Wolsey and
Napoleon 129

THE DINNER PARTY.
Bernard Blackmantle's Visit to Tom Echo—Oxford Phrase-
ology—Smuggled Dinners—A College Party described—
Topography of a Man's Room—Portrait of a Bachelor of Arts
—Hints to Freshmen—Customs of the University 132

COLLEGE SERVANTS.
Descriptive Sketch of a College Scout—Biography of Mark
Supple—Singular Invitation to a Spread 146

TAKING POSSESSION OF YOUR ROOMS.
Topography of a vacant College Larium—Anecdotes and
Propensities of Predecessors—A Long Shot—Scout's List of
Necessaries—Condolence of University Friends 151

THE EXCURSION TO BAGLEY WOOD 157

WESTERN ENTRANCE INTO THE METROPOLIS.
A descriptive Sketch.
General Views of the Author relative to Subject and Style
—Time and Place—Perspective Glimpse of the great City—
The Approach—Cockney Salutations—The Toll House—
Western Entrance to Cockney Land—Hyde Park—Sunday
Noon-Sketches of Character, Costume, and Scenery—The
Ride and Drive—Kensington Gardens—Belles and Beaux-
Stars and fallen Stars—Singularities of 1824-Tales of Ton-
On Dits and Anecdotes—Sunday Evening—High Life and
Low Life, the Contrast—Cockney Goths—Notes, Biographical,
Amorous, and Exquisite 164

THE OPERA.
The Man of Fashion—Fop's Alley—Modern RouÉ and
Frequenters—Characteristic Sketches in High Life—Blue
Stocking Illuminati—Motives and Manners—Meeting with
the Honourable Lillyman Lionise—Dinner at Long's—Visit
to the Opera—Joined by Bob Transit—A Peep into the
Green Room—Secrets behind the Curtain—Noble Amateurs
and Foreign Curiosities—Notes and Anecdotes by Horatio
Heartly 198

THE ROYAL SALOON.
Visit of Heartly, Lionise, and Transit—Description of the
Place—Sketches of Character—The Gambling Parsons—Horse
Chaunting, a true Anecdote—Bang and her Friends—Moll
Raffle and the Marquis W.—he Play Man—The Touter—
The Half-pay Officer—Charles Rattle, Esq.—Life of a modern
Roue—B——— the Tailor—The Subject—Jarvey and Brooks
the Dissector—"Kill him when you want him" 205

THE SPREAD, OR WINE PARTY AT BRAZEN-NOSE.
A College Wine Party described—Singular Whim of
Horace Eglantine—Meeting of the Oxford Crackademonians
—Sketches of Eccentric Characters, drawn from the Life—
The Doctor's Daughter—an old Song—A Round of Sculls—
Epitaphs on the Living and the Dead—Tom Tick, a College
Tale—The Voyagers—Notes and Anecdotes 221

THE OXFORD RAKE'S PROGRESS 233

TOWN AND GOWN, AN OXFORD ROW.

Battle of the Togati and the Town—Raff—A Night—Scene in
the High-Street, Oxford—Description of the Combatants—
Attack of the Gownsmen upon the Mitre—Evolutions of the
Assailants—Manoeuvres of the Proctors and Bull—Dogs—
Perilous Condition of Blackmantle and his Associates, Eglan-
tine, Echo, and Transit—Snug Retreat of Lionise—The High—
Street after the Battle—Origin of the Argotiers, and Inven-
tion of Cant—phrases—History of the Intestine Wars and
Civil Broils of Oxford, from the Time of Alfred—Origin
of the late Strife—Ancient Ballad—Retreat of the Togati—
Reflections of a Freshman—Black Matins, or the Effect of
late Drinking upon early Risers—Visit to Golgotha, or the
Place of Sculls—Lecture from the Big—Wigs—Tom Echo
receives Sentence of Rustication 246

TOWNE AND GOWNE 263

THE STAGE COACH, OR THE TRIP TO BRIGHTON.
Improvements in Travelling—Contrast of ancient and
modern Conveyances and Coachmen—Project for a new Land
Steam Carriage—The Inn—yard at the Golden Cross, Charing
Cross—Mistakes of Passengers—Variety of Characters—Ad-
vantages of the Box—seat—Obstructions on the Road—A
Pull—up at the Elephant and Castle—Move on to Kennington
Common—New Churches—Civic Villas at Brixton—Modern
Taste in Architecture described—Arrival at Croydon; why
not now the King's Road?—The Joliffe Hounds—A Hunting
Leader—Anecdotes of the Horse, by Coachee—The new
Tunnel at Reigate—The Baron's Chamber—The Golden Ball
—the Silver Ball—and the Golden Calf—Entrance into
Brighton 274

THE PROPOSITION.
Family Secrets—Female Tactics—How to carry the Point 287

SKETCHES AT BRIGHTON.
The Pavilion Party—Interior described—Royal and Noble
Anecdotes—The King and Mathews 292

CHARACTERS ON THE BEACH AND STEYNE,
BRIGHTON.
On Bathing and Bathers—Advantages of Shampooing—
French Decency—Brighton Politeness—Sketches of Character
—The Banker's Widow—Miss J——s—Mrs. F——1—Peter
Paragraph, he London Correspondent—J—k S——h—The
French Consul—Paphian Divinities—C—— L——, Esq.
Squeeze into the Libraries—The new Plunging Bath—
Chain Pier—Cockney Comicalities—Royal Gardens—The
Club House 305

METROPOLITAN SKETCHES.
Heartly, Echo, and Transit start for a Spree—Scenes by
Daylight, Starlight, and Gaslight—Black Monday at Tatter—
sail's—The first Meeting after the Great St. Leger—Heroes of
the Turf paying and receiving—Dinner at Fishmongers' Hall
—Committee of Greeks—The Affair of the Cogged Dice—A
Regular Break—down—Rules for the New Club—The Daffy
Club, or a Musical Muster of the Fancy: striking Portraits—
Counting the Stars—Covent Garden, what it was and what it
is—The Finish—Anecdotes of Characters—The Hall of Infamy,
alias the Covent Garden Hell 327

VISIT TO WESTMINSTER HALL.
Worthies thereof—Legal Sketches of the Long Robe—An
Awkward Recognition—Visit to Banco Regis—Surrey Col—
legians giving a Lift to a Limb of the Law—Out of Rule and in
Rule—"Thus far shalt thou go, and no further"—Park
Rangers personified—Visit to the Life Academy, Somerset
House—R. A—ys of Genius reflecting on the true Line of
Beauty—Peep into the Green Rooms of the two Theatres Royal,
Drury Lane and Covent Garden—Bernard Blackmantle
reading his new Play and Farce—The City Ball at the Mansion
House—The Squeeze—Civic Characters—Return to Oxford—
Invite to Cambridge—Jemmy Gordon's Frolic—Term ends 355