  THE Weverwend Awthur Murway Gween, They say is verwy clevah; And sister Wuth could heah him pweach, Fohevah and fohevah. And I went down to heah him pweach, With Wuth and my Annette, Upon the bwave, hewoic deaths The ancient mawtahs met; And as he wepwesented them, In all their acts and feachaws, The ancient mawtahs, dontcherknow? Were doocid clevah cweachaws. But, aw deah me! They don’t compah In twue hewoic bwavewy, To a bwave hewo fwiend of mine, Young Montmowenci Averwy. He earned foah dollahs everwy week, And not anothah coppah; But this bwave soul wesolved to dwess Pwe-eminently pwoppah. So this was all the food each day, The bwave young cweachaw had— One glaws of milk, a cigawette, Foah cwackers, and some bwead. He lived on foahteen cents a day, And cherwished one great passion: The pwecious pwoject of his soul, But when he’d earned a suit entiah, To his supweme chagwin, Just then did shawt-tailed coats go out, And long-tailed coats come in; But naught could bweak his wigid will And now, I pway you, note, That he gave up his glaws of milk And bought a long-tailed coat. But then the fashion changed once moah, And bwought a gwievous plight; It changed from twousers that are loose To twousers that are tight. Then his foah cwackers he gave up, He just wenounced their use; And changed to twousers that are tight From twousers that are loose. And then the narrow-toed style shoes To bwoad-toed changed instead; Then he pwocured a bwoad-toed paih, And gave up eating bwead. Just then the bwoad-bwimmed style of hat To narrow bwims gave way; And so his twibulations gwew, Incweasing everwy day. But he pwocured a narrow bwim, Of verwy stylish set; But bwave, bwave soul! he had to dwop But now when his whole suit confohmed To fashion’s wegulation For lack of cwackers, milk, and bwead, He perwished of stahvation. Thus in his owah of victowry, He passed on to his west— I weally nevah saw a cawpse So fashionably dwessed. My teahs above his well-dwessed clay Fell like the spwingtime wains; My eyes had nevah wested on Such pwoppah dwessed wemains. The ancient mawtahs—they were gwand And glowious in their day; But this bwave Montmowenci was As gweat and gwand as they. Sam Walter Foss. |
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