DON SURLY, to aspire the glorious name

Of a great man, and to be thought the same,

Makes serious use of all great trade he knows.

He speaks to men with a rhinocerote’s nose,

Which he thinks great; and so reads verses too;

And that is done as he saw great men do.

He has tympanies of business in his face,

And can forget men’s names with a great grace.

He will both argue and discourse in oaths,

Both which are great, and laugh at ill-made clothes;

That’s greater yet, to cry his own up neat.

He doth, at meals, alone his pheasant eat,

Which is main greatness; and at his still board

He drinks to no man: that’s, too, like a lord.

He keeps another’s wife, which is a spice

Of solemn greatness; and he dares, at dice,

Blaspheme God greatly; or some poor hind beat,

That breathes in his dog’s way: and this is great.

Nay, more, for greatness’ sake he will be one

Surly, use other arts; these only can

Style thee a most great fool, but no great man.