By a Moore-ose Melodist

Oh, ever thus from childhood's hour,
I've seen my fondest hopes recede!
I never loved a tree or flower
That didn't trump its partner's lead.

I never nursed a dear gazelle,
To glad me with its dappled hide,
But when it came to know me well,
It fell upon the buttered side.

I never taught a cockatoo
To whistle comic songs profound,
But, just when "Jolly Dogs" it knew,
It failed for ninepence in the pound.

I never reared a walrus cub
In my aquarium to plunge,
But, when it learned to love its tub,
It placidly threw up the sponge!

I never strove a metaphor
To every bosom home to bring
But—just as it had reached the door—
It went and cut a pigeon's wing!

Tom Hood, Jr.