Larst nite whin the intyre family had retired for there hard airned slape there cum a wild ringing at the dure bell. I herd it first in me slape and yells in frite, thinking of bounding nites and burglars. I opened me dure and stuck me hed out. The hole family were assimbled in the lower hall in their nite gowns. Mr. John called up to me:

“Delia!” ses he, “wud ye plase ansser the bell.”

“I will not” ses I. “Do you tak me for a gump!”

“Theres somewan at the dure” ses Miss Claire swately, “The boys arent drissed and nayther am I. Run along Delia.”

“I’m dummed if I do” ses I wid indigation.

“Oh shaw” ses Mr. James, “what fools we mortals be. Whares me revolver?” ses he. “I’ll go,” and whistling down he desinds. We heer his voyce shouting at the closed door:

“Who’s there?”

“Whats that?”

“Who?”

“A tillygram?”

“One minute,” and he opened the dure.

“Who’s it for?” arsks the intyre family at wanse.

“Delia!” ses he, and the family larfing wint to there rooms.

“Put it on the bottom stip darlint” ses I, “and get out of site if you plaze.”

I wint down and got the paper. It was as follows:

“Coming at wanse. The saints protick you darlint in the manewile. Minnie Carnavan.”

This marning whin I clared aff the brikfust dishes I fownd a letter oonder Mr. Wolley’s chare, which dishthressed me badly. It were as follows:

“Deer sir:

Do not fail to come to night early as Miss Flyte needs attention J. B.”

I intinded to hand the dummed thing back to Mr. Wolley spaking at the same time me humble but contemshus opinyon of an auld sinner like himself wid a luvly lorful wife and 4 preshus children of his own. But after brikfust Mr. Wolley wint out and I sor him not agin till nite. At tin Minnie arrived. She was all exsitement.

“Now tell me widout words” ses she “what divilmint the family has been oop to.”

“Divilment” ses I brideling “shure its a swate family they be. Its ashamed I am to heer you spaking langwidge aginst an innersint and luvly family like the Wolleys.”

“Ah go wan” ses Minnie. “Whats the auld spalpeen been up to larst.”

“If ye mane Mr. Wolley” ses I coldly, “then its a sore subjeck yeve tooched. O Minnie” ses I “the auld gintleman is a baste.”

Minnie like to ate me opp wid hunger for some more words upon the subjeck.

I tuk out the letter and handed it to her widout further words. She red it throo widout spaking, but I seen her mouth and eyes popping wid exsitemint.

Joost thin Mrs. Wolley walks innersintly into me kitchin. She has sum fine lace in her hand, and she ses: “Lind me your ironing bord Delia. I’m doing these oop mesilf.” Joost thin she seen Minnie, and she smiles swately—“Ah is this a frind of yours, Delia?” ses she.

Minnie got oop. I seen her studying the poor crachure for a moment, and then suddintly she walked oop to her and hild out the letter.

“I belave mam” ses she “that this will intrust you.”

“What is it?” ses the madam, putting on her glarses.

“Its a letter mam” ses Minnie “to yere hoosband.”

I seen her reed it throo, and aven then she had not grasped the meaning of the avil minded crachure’s words, till the latter spoke oop agin:

“Are you a dummy?” asks Minnie, “Don’t you see what yere auld man is after being oop to. Delia here” ses she “innersintly remarked about his sneeking out at nite to mate anuther female. The paper there reveels the auld man’s inamoreeta.”

I thort the auld lady wud faynt. She toorned white as milk, and I seen the paper shaking in her hand like she had the ague. But wid out condisinding a ward to eyther Minnie or mesilf she wint out the kitchen and upstares.

“Miss Carnavan” ses I, biling over wid rage, “theres a trane laving widin tin minits. Yell have plinty of time to catch it.”

Minnie smiled.

“Delia darlint” ses she “did you think I’d be after thravelling sixty miles to visit you for harf an our? No darlint” ses she “I’ve brot me bag along and I’ll be wid you for a fortnite yet.”

“That you wont” ses I, “for its your bag will be out in the cinter of the strate and yersilf will follow in a sicond.”

Minnie faulded her arms and fixed me wid a look of power and scorn.

“Delia Omally” ses she “the day you toorn your best frind out into the strate” ses she “will be your last. Trate me” ses she “in anny way save as a perfeck lady and I’ll publish yere letter on the housetops.”

It cum upon me then that like the foolish loonytick I be I’d put mesilf in Minnie’s power.

“O wirrah, wirrah, wirrah!” I cryed throwing me aprun over me hed.

“Don’t be after making a fool of yersilf” ses Minnie, “Have sinse, Delia mavourneen. Here I am, and here I stay.”

At loonch Mr. James and John et there meel alone. Mrs. Wolley and Miss Claire were locked up in the bed room. During the meel the gintlemen spake not at all, save wanse thin Mr. John sed:

“Tak sum loonch upstares to mother and Claire, Delia” ses he, and thin after a moment: “Get that woman out of the house” ses he “as quickly as possible.”

“And Delia” puts in Mr. James, conthrolling his nachelly loud voyse, “kape your mouth shut.”

“Yes sor” ses I.

Mr. Wolley did not turn up again aven for dinner, and the hole family, wid the ixsipshun of the madum et in silense. Miss Claire’s eyes looked red, and I seen her lips were trimbling, as tho she cud skursely kape the teers back. She cum downstares after the meel, and wispers in me eer:

“Heres a note for Mr. Dudley when he cums. I—I wont be home to-nite Delia” ses she wistfully.

“Whare are you going darlint.”

“To look for father” ses she. “O Delia” ses she, “I’m afrade sumething dredful is about to happen.”

“Let me go wid you darlint” ses I.

“But—the letter?” ses she, “somewan must give it to Mr. Dudley.”

“I’ll be plazed to do it” spoke up Minnie at wanse.

She looked at Minnie misdoutfully. Thin she wint up to her and quitely guv her the note.

“I’ll trust you then!” ses she to the crachure.

About sivin in the avening the hole family, including meself set out from the house for 17 Arch Strate, which is the number on the letter paper. Mr. John and Mr. James walked on eyther side there puir mother, haulding her up by the arms, while Miss Claire and I carried hankychiffs and smilling salts. By and by we cam to the place, a little auld barn setting up aginst the side walk. The family guv a look at the noomber and thin walked boldly in widout nocking. There were a noysy lot of men inside. A little greesy fellow in overalls cum sontering up to Mr. John.

“What can I do for you?” ses he.

Mr. James ansers befure his brother can spake.

“Is Mr. Wolley here?” ses he bloontly.

“Shure” ses the man “he’s over there wid Miss Flyte” ses he.

Mrs. Wolley stepped forward, her eyes popping out wid anger.

“Where?” ses she in such a horty tone the man stared at her wid surprise.

“There!” ses he, and poynts across the barn. “Hes having a bit of trubble wid the auld lady” ses he.

We wint across the barn, but see nothing but wan of thim red tooring cars. We’ve cum close to the ortermobile whin Mr. James makes a discuvery. Theres sumwan lying undernathe the masheen. He’s hammering on sumthing, and theres a lited lantern on the flure beside him. Just as the discuvery was made, Mr. John likewise seen the feet; then Miss Claire reckynised her papa’s boots and me his hat. Mrs. Wolley nelt down and looked under the masheen. Then she guv a scrame.

“Charles!” ses she and almost faints. Mr. Wolley cum crorling frum undernathe the ortermobile. He looks a site, wid his face cuvvered clane wid dirt and his hands dripping down wid greese.

He guv a look about him, seen us all, and drapped his mouth open wid astonishment. Joost then Mr. James burst out larfing, and the hole blessed family joyned in.

“You dummed old frord” ses Mr. James.

“What do you meen sor?” ses Mr. Wolley.

“Whares Miss Flyte?” asks Mr. John.

The auld fellow looked sheepish, and he guv a look back at the ortermobile.

“Well, ye may as well no the thruth” ses he, “Ive made a good invistmint. I’ve bort Miss Flyte. She’s a ginooine bargin, better than anny Frinch imported car, and at quarter the price. I’ve been coming avenings to lern how to run and understand her. Isn’t she a booty?” ses he, turning to his new infachuation.

Mrs. Wolley guv a little sob, then she run tord him jest like a child, and he guv her a kiss, and then helped her clime into the masheen.

“There’s room for six” ses he. “All aboord. We’ll tak Miss Flyte home.”