Rank is very apt to attract and dazzle vulgar and feeble optics; and the belief that such is its effect upon mankind generally, is unspeakably gratifying to a vain and ignorant possessor of that rank. Of the truth of one part of this observation, take as an illustration the case of Tittlebat Titmouse; of the other, that of the Earl of Dreddlington. The former's dinner engagement with the latter, his august and awful kinsman, was an event of such magnitude as to absorb almost all his faculties in the contemplation of it, and also occasion him great anxiety in preparing for an effective appearance upon so signal an occasion. Mr. Gammon had repeatedly, during the interval, instructed his anxious pupil, if so he might be called, as to the manner in which he ought to behave. He was—Heaven save the mark, poor Titmouse!—to assume an air of mingled deference, self-possession, and firmness; not, on the one hand, to be overawed by the greatness with which he would be brought into contact, nor, on the other, unduly elated by a sense of his own suddenly acquired importance. He was, on the contrary, to steer evenly between the extremes of timorousness and temerity—to aim, at least, at that happy mean, so grateful to those able to appreciate the effort, and object, of those who had attained to it. Titmouse was to remember that, great as was the Earl of Dreddlington, he was yet but a man—related, too, by consanguinity, to him, the aforesaid Titmouse; who might, moreover, before many years should have elapsed, become himself Lord Drelincourt, and by consequence equally entitled, with the present possessor of that resplendent rank, to the homage of mankind. At the same time that the earl's advanced years gave him a natural claim to the reverence of his young kinsman—(whom his Lordship was about to introduce into the sublime regions of aristocracy, and also of political society)—Titmouse might extract a few ingredients of consolation from the reflection, that his income probably exceeded, by a third, that of the Earl of Dreddlington. This is the sum of Mr. Gammon's general instructions to his eager and excited pupil; but he also gave Titmouse many minor hints and suggestions. He was to drink very little wine—(whereat Titmouse demurred somewhat vehemently, and asked "How the d—l he was to get his steam up without it?")—and on no account to call for beer or porter, to which plebeian beverages, indeed, he might consider himself as having bid a long and last adieu;—to say occasionally, only, "my Lord" and "your Lordship," in addressing the earl—and "your Ladyship," in addressing Lady Cecilia;—and, above all, never to appear in a hurry, but to do and say whatever he had to do and say calmly; for that the nerves of aristocracy were very delicate, and could not bear a bustle, or the slightest display of energy or feeling. Then, as to his dress—Gammon, feeling himself treading on very doubtful ground, intimated merely that the essence of true fashion was simplicity—but here Titmouse grew fidgety, and his Mentor ceased.

During the night which ushered in the eventful day on which Titmouse dined with the Earl of Dreddlington, our friend got but very little sleep. Early in the morning he engaged a most respectable glass-coach to convey him westward in the evening, in something like style; and before noon, his anxieties were set at rest by the punctual arrival of various articles of dress, decoration, and scent—for Titmouse had a great idea of scents. As for his new watch and its brilliant gold guard-chain—ambitious reader! you should have seen them! About half-past four o'clock Titmouse retired to his bedroom, and resigned himself into the hands of Mr. Twirl, the tip-top hairdresser from the Strand, whose agreeable manipulations, and still more agreeable small-talk, occupied upwards of an hour; Titmouse, from time to time, giving the anxious operator abundant notice of the high quarter in which his handiwork was likely soon to be scrutinized.

"Pray-a, can you tell me," quoth Titmouse, drawlingly, shortly after Twirl had commenced his operations, "how long it will take me to get from this infernal part of the town to Grosvenor Square? Dem long way, isn't it, Mr. What's-your-name?"

"Grosvenor Square, sir?" said Twirl, glibly, but with a perceptible dash of deference in his tone; "why it is as one might say a tolerable way off, certainly; but you can't well miss your way there, sir, of all places in town"——

"My coachman," interrupted Titmouse, with a fine air, "of course, had I thought of it, he must know, dem him, of course!"

"Oh! to be sure, sir. There's none but people of the most highest rank lives in that quarter, sir. Excuse me, sir, but I've a brother-in-law that's valet to the Duke of Dunderwhistle there"——

"Indeed! How far off is that from Lord Dreddlington's?" inquired Titmouse, carelessly.

"Lord Dreddlington's, sir?—Well, I never! Isn't it particular strange, if that's where you're going, sir—it's next door to the Duke's—the very next door, sir!"

"'Pon my life, is it indeed? How devilish odd!"

"Know the Earl of Dreddlington then, I presume, sir?"

"Ya-as, I should think so; he's my—my—relation, that's all; and devilish near too!"

Mr. Twirl instantly conceived a kind of reverence for the gentleman upon whom he was operating.

"Well, sir," he presently added in a still more respectful tone than before, "p'r'aps you'll think it a liberty, sir; but, do you know, I've several times had the honor of seeing his Lordship in the street at a little distance—and there's a—a family likeness between you, sir—'pon my word, sir. It struck me, directly I saw you, that you was like some nob I'd seen at the other end of the town." [Here Titmouse experienced pleasurable sensations, similar to those said to be enjoyed by a cat when you pass your hand down its glossy coat in the right direction.] "Will you allow me, sir, to give your hair a good brushing, sir, before I dress it? I always like to take the greatest pains with the hair of my quality customers!—Do you know, sir, that I had the honor of dressing his Grace's hair for a whole fortnight together, once when my brother-in-law was ill; and though p'r'aps I oughtn't to say it, his Grace expressed the highest satisfaction at my exertions, sir."

"'Pon my life, and I should say you were an uncommon good hand—I've known lots worse, I assure you; men that would have spoiled the best head of hair going, by Jove!"

"Sir, you're very kind. I assure you, sir, that to do justice to a gent's hair requires an uncommon deal of practice, and a sort of nat'ral talent for it besides. Lord, sir! how much depends on a gent's hair, don't it? Of two coming into a room, it makes all the difference, sir! Believe me, sir, it's no use being well-dressed, nay, nor good-looking, if as how the hair a'n't done—what I call—correct!"

"By Jove, I really think you're nigh about the mark," said Titmouse; and after a pause, during which Mr. Twirl had been brushing away at one particular part of the head with some vehemence, "Well," he exclaimed with a sigh, ceasing for a moment his vigorous exertions—"I'm blest if I can manage it, do what I will!"

"Eh? What's that? What is it?" inquired Titmouse, a little alarmedly.

"Why, sir, it's what we gents, in our profession, calls a feather, which is the most hobstinatest thing in nature."

"What's a feather?" quoth Titmouse, rather faintly.

"You see, sir, 'tis when a small lot of hair on a gent's head will stick up, do all we can to try and get it down; and (excuse me, sir,) you've got a regular rattler!" Titmouse put up his hand to feel, Twirl guiding it to the fatal spot; there it was, just as Twirl had described it.

"What's to be done?" murmured Titmouse.

"I'm afraid, sir, you don't use our OSTRICH GREASE and RHINOCEROS MARROW, sir."

"Your what?" cried Titmouse, apprehensively, with a dismally distinct recollection of the tragedy of the Cyanochaitanthropopoion, and the Damascus Cream, and the Tetaragmenon Abracadabra; matters which he at once mentioned to Mr. Twirl.

"Ah, it's not my custom, sir," quoth Twirl, "to run down other gents' inventions; but my real opinion is, that they're all an imposition—a rank imposition, sir. I didn't like to say it, sir; but I soon saw there had been somebody a-practising on your hair."

"What, is it very plain?" cried Titmouse, with a kind of horror, starting up and stepping to the glass.

"No, sir—not so very plain; only you've got, as I might say, accustomed to the sight of it; but when it's properly curled, and puckered up, and frizzed about, it won't show—nor the feather neither, sir; so, by your leave, here goes, sir;" and, after about a quarter of an hour's more labor, he succeeded in parting it right down the middle of the head, bringing it out into a bold curl towards each eyebrow, and giving our friend quite a new and very fascinating appearance, even in his own eyes. And as for the color—it really was not so very marked, after all; a little purple-hued and mottled, to be sure, in parts, but not to a degree to attract the eye of a casual observer. Twirl having declared, at length, his labors completed—regarding Titmouse's head with a look of proud satisfaction—Titmouse paid him half a crown, and also ordered a pot of ostrich grease and of rhinoceros marrow, (the one being suet, the other lard, differently scented and colored,) and was soon left at liberty to proceed with the important duties of the toilet. It took him a good while; but in the end he was supremely successful. He wore black tights, (i. e. pantaloons fitting closely to his legs, and tied round his ankles with black ribbons,) silk stockings, and shoes with glittering silver buckles. His white neckerchief was tied with great elegance, not a superfluous wrinkle being visible in it. His shirt-front of lace, had two handsome diamond pins, connected together by a little delicate gold chain, glistening in the midst of it. Then he had a white waistcoat edge, next a crimson one, and lastly a glorious sky-blue satin waistcoat, spangled all over with gold flowers inwrought—and across it hung his new gold watch-guard, and his silver guard for his eyeglass, producing an inconceivably fine effect. His coat was of a light brown, of exquisite cut, fitting him as closely as if he had been born in it, and with burnished brass buttons, of sugar-loaf shape. 'Twas padded also with great judgment, and really took off more of his round-shouldered awkwardness of figure than any coat he had ever worn before. Then he had a fine white pocket-handkerchief, soaked in lavender water; and immaculate white kid gloves. Thus habited, he stood before his glass, bowing fifty different times, and adjusting his expression to various elegant forms of address. He was particularly struck with the combined effect of the two curls of his hair towards each eye, and the hair underneath his chin curved upwards on each side of his mouth in complete symmetry. I have ascertained from Mr. Titmouse himself, that on this memorable occasion of his first introduction to NOBILITY, every item of dress and decoration was entirely new; and when at length his labors had been completed, he felt great composure of mind, and a consciousness of the decisive effect which he must needs produce upon those into whose presence he was so soon to be ushered. His "carriage" was presently announced; and after keeping it standing for a few minutes, (which he conceived to be usual with fine people,) he gently placed his hat upon his head; drew on one glove, took his little ebony cane in his hand; and, with a hurried inward prayer that he might be equal to the occasion, stepped forth from his apartment and passed on to the glass-coach. Such a brilliant little figure, I will take upon myself to say, had never before issued, nor will perhaps ever again issue, from the Cabbage-Stalk Hotel. The waiters whom he passed, inclined towards him with instinctive reverence. He was very fine, to be sure; but who could, they justly thought, be dressed too finely that had ten thousand a-year, and was gone to dine with a lord in Grosvenor Square?

Titmouse was soon on his way towards that at once desired and dreaded region. He gazed with a look of occasional pity and contempt, as he passed along, at the plebeian pedestrians, and the lines of shops on each side of the narrow streets, till increasing indications of superior modes of existence presented themselves; and then he began to feel not a little fidgety and nervous. The streets grew wider; the squares greater; hackney-coaches (unsightly objects!) became fewer and fewer, giving place to splendid vehicles—coaches, and chariots—with one, two, and even three footmen, in elegant liveries, clustering behind, with long canes, cockades, and shoulder-knots; crimson, blue, green, bear and tiger skin hammercloths, with burnished coronets and crests upon them; sleek coachmen with wigs and three-cornered hats, and horses that pawed the ground with very pride; ladies within, glistening in satin, lace, and jewels—their lords beside them, leaning back with countenances so stern and haughty; oh, by all that was grand and tremendous! Titmouse felt himself getting now within the very vortex of greatness and fashion, and experienced a frequent fluttering and catching of the breath, and a sense of indefinite distressing apprehension. He was, however, now in for it—and there was no retreat. As he neared Grosvenor Square, he heard, ever and anon, terrific thundering noises at the doors opposite which these splendid vehicles had drawn up—as if the impatient footmen were infuriated because the doors did not fly open of themselves, at the sound of the approaching carriage-wheels. At length he entered Grosvenor Square, that "pure empyrean" of earthly greatness. Carriages rolled calmly and haughtily past him, others dashed desperately in different directions. At each side of Lord Dreddlington's house, were carriages setting down with tremendous uproar. Mr. Titmouse felt his color going, and his heart began to beat much faster than usual. 'Twas quite in vain that he "hemmed" two or three times, by way of trying to reassure himself: he felt that his hour was come; and would have been glad, at the moment, of any decent excuse for driving off home again, and putting off the evil day a little longer. Opposite the dreaded door had now drawn up Mr. Titmouse's glass-coach; and the decent coachman—whose well-worn hat, and long, clean, but threadbare blue coat, and ancient-looking top-boots, bespoke their wearer's thriftiness—slowly alighting, threw the reins on his quiet horses' backs, and gave a modest rat-tat-tat-tat-tat at the door without ringing.

"What name shall I give, sir?" said he, returning to his coach, and letting down the loud clanking steps, with such a noise as seemed to indicate his desire to show the solid metal structure of them!

"Titmouse—Mr. Titmouse;" replied our friend, hurriedly, as the lofty door was thrown open by the corpulent porter; disclosing several footmen in light blue liveries, with silver shoulder-knots, and powdered heads, standing in the hall waiting for him.

"Mr. Titmouse!" exclaimed the coachman to the servants: then, having returned to the coach—"When shall I come back for you, sir?" he inquired of his flustered fare.

"D— me, sir—don't bother me," faltered Titmouse, quitting the vehicle with great trepidation: and the next moment he was in the hands of the Philistines—the hall door was closed upon him. All his presence of mind had evaporated; the excellent lessons given him by Mr. Gammon had disappeared like breath from the surface of a mirror. Though Lord Dreddlington's servants had never before seen in the house so strange an object as poor little Titmouse, they were of far too highly polished manners to appear to notice anything unusual. They silently motioned him up-stairs with a bland courteous air, he carrying his little agate-headed cane in one hand, and his new hat in the other. A gentlemanly person in a full black dress suit, opened the drawing-room door for him, with an elegant inclination, which Titmouse very gracefully returned. A faint mist seemed to be in the drawing-room for a second or two, during which Titmouse heard his name gently whispered by the gentleman who had introduced him; quickly clearing away, however, he beheld, at the upper end, but two figures, that of an old gentleman, and a young lady—they were, in fact, the Earl of Dreddlington and Lady Cecilia. Now—if truth must be told—that great man had not been a whit behindhand, in the matter of dress, with the little creature now trembling before him; being, in truth, full as anxious to make an effective first appearance in the eyes of Mr. Titmouse, as he in those of the Earl of Dreddlington. And each had, in his way, completely succeeded. There was little or no substantial difference between them. The Right Honorable the Earl of Dreddlington was an old experienced fool, and Tittlebat Titmouse a young inexperienced one. They were the same species of plant, but had grown in different soils. The one had had to struggle through a neglected existence by the dusty, hard road-side of life; the other had had all the advantage of hothouse cultivation—its roots striking deep into, and thriving upon, the rich manure of sycophancy and adulation!—We have seen how anxious was our little friend to appear as became the occasion, before his great kinsman; who in his turn had several times during the day exulted secretly in the anticipation of the impression which must be produced upon the mind of Titmouse by the sudden display, in the earl's person, of the sublimest distinctions which society can bestow, short of royalty. It had once or twice occurred to the earl, whether he could find any fair excuse for appearing in his full general's uniform; but on maturer reflection, governed by that simplicity and severity of taste which ever distinguished him, he had abandoned that idea, and appeared in a plain blue coat, white waistcoat, and black knee-breeches. But on his left breast glittered one or two foreign orders, and across his waistcoat was the broad red ribbon of the Bath. His hair was white and fine; his cold blue eye and haughty lip gave him an expression of severe dignity: and he stood erect as an arrow. Lady Cecilia reclined on the sofa, with an air of languor and ennui which had become habitual to her; and was dressed in glistening white satin, with a necklace of large and very beautiful pearls. The earl was standing in an attitude of easy grace to receive his guest, as to whose personal appearance, by the way, he was quite in the dark—Mr. Titmouse might be a great or a little man, and forward or bashful; and require a corresponding demeanor and address on the part of the earl. "Gracious Powers!" he involuntarily exclaimed to himself, the instant his eye caught sight of Titmouse, who approached slowly, making profound and formal obeisances. The earl stood rooted to the spot which he had occupied when Titmouse entered. If his servants had turned an ape into the drawing-room, his Lordship could scarcely have felt or exhibited greater amazement than he now experienced, for a moment. "Ah, Heavens!" thought he, "what a fool have we here? what creature is this?" Then it flashed across his mind;—"May this be the future Lord Drelincourt?" He was on the point of recoiling from his suddenly-discovered kinsman in dismay, (as for Lady Cecilia, she gazed at him, through her glass, in silent horror, after a faint exclamation, on his first becoming visible, of "Gracious! Papa!") when his habitual self-command came to his assistance; and, advancing very slowly a step or two towards Titmouse—who, after a hurried glance around him, saw no place to deposit his hat and cane upon except the floor, on which he accordingly dropped them—the earl extended his hand, slightly compressed the tips of Titmouse's fingers, and bowed courteously, but with infinite concern in his features.

"I am happy, Mr. Titmouse, to make your acquaintance," said the earl, slowly—"Sir, I have the honor to present you to my daughter, the Lady Cecilia." Titmouse, who by this time had got into a sort of cold sweat—a condition from which the earl was really not very far removed—made a very profound and formal bow, (he had been taking lessons from a posture-master to one of the theatres,) first to the earl, and then to Lady Cecilia, who rose about two inches from the sofa, with an almost audible sigh, and then sank again upon it, without removing her eyes from the figure of Titmouse, who went on bowing, first to the one and then to the other, till the earl had engaged him in conversation.

"It gives me pleasure, sir, to see that you are punctual in your engagements. I am so too, sir; and owe to it no small portion of any success which I may have had in life. Punctuality, sir, in small matters, leads to punctuality in great matters." This was said very deliberately, and with a sort of freezing grandeur.

"Oh yes, my Lord! quite so, your Lordship," stammered Titmouse, suddenly recollecting a part of Gammon's instructions; "to be sure—wouldn't have been behind time, your Lordship, for a minute, my Lord; uncommon bad manners, if it please your Lordship"——

"Will you be seated, sir?" interrupted the earl, dignifiedly motioning him to a chair, and then sitting down beside him; after which his Lordship seemed, for a second or two, to forget himself; staring in silence at Titmouse, and then in consternation at Lady Cecilia. "I—I—" said he, suddenly recollecting himself, "beg your par—sir, I mean—I congratulate you upon—your recent success. Sir, it must have been rather a surprise to you?"

"Oh yes, sir—my Lord, most uncommon, may it please your Lordship—particular—but right is right—please your Lordship"——

["Oh Heavens! merciful Heavens! How horrid is all this! Am I awake or only dreaming? 'Tis an idiot—and what's worse, a vulgar idiot! And this thing may become Lord Drelincourt!" This was what was passing through Lord Dreddlington's mind, while his troubled eye was fixed upon Titmouse.]

"It is, indeed, Mr. Titmouse," replied his Lordship, "very true, sir; what you say is correct. Quite so; exactly." His eye was fixed on Titmouse, but his words were uttered, as it were, mechanically, and in a musing manner. It flitted for a moment across his mind, whether he should ring the bell, and order the servant to show out of the house the fearful imp which had just been shown into it; but at that critical moment he detected poor Titmouse's eye fixed with a kind of reverent intensity upon his Lordship's glittering orders. 'Twas a lucky look, that, for Titmouse, since it began to melt away the ice which was beginning to incrust the little heart of his august relative. 'Twas evident that the poor young man had not been accustomed to society, thought the earl, with an approach towards the compassionate mood. He was frightfully dressed, to be sure; and as for his speech, he was manifestly overawed by the Presence in which he found himself; [that thought melted a little more of the ice.] Yet, was it not evident that he had some latent power of appreciating real distinction, when he beheld it? [his Lordship's little heart here lost all the ice which had begun so suddenly to collect round it.] And again;—he has actually thrust out the intolerable Aubrey, and is now lawful owner of Yatton—of TEN THOUSAND A-YEAR——

"Did you see the review, to-day, sir?" inquired the earl, rather blandly—"His Majesty was there, sir, and seemed to enjoy the scene." Titmouse, with a timid air, said that he had not seen it, as he had been at a boatrace upon the river; and after a few more general observations—"Will you permit me, sir? It is from A QUARTER requiring the highest—a-hem!" said the earl, as a note was brought him, which he immediately opened and read. Lady Cecilia, also, appearing to be reading, Titmouse had a moment's breathing time and interval of relief. What would he have given, he thought, for some other person, or several persons, to come in and divide the attention—the intolerably oppressive attention of the two august individuals then before him! He seized the opportunity to cast a furtive glance around the room. It opened into a second, which opened into a third: how spacious, each, and lofty! And glittering glass chandeliers in each! What chimney and pier glasses! What rich flowered satin curtains—they must have cost twelve or fourteen shillings a-yard at least!—The carpets, of the finest Brussels—and they felt like velvet to the feet;—then the brackets, of marble and gold, with snowy statues and vases glistening upon each; chairs so delicate, and gilded all over—he almost feared to sit down on them. What would the Quirks and Tag-rags think of this! Faugh—only to think for a moment of Alibi House and Satin Lodge!—Then there was the Lady Cecilia—a lady of high rank! How rich her dress—and how haughtily beautiful she looked as she reclined upon the sofa! [she was in fact busy conning over the new opera, which was to come out the next evening.] And the Earl of Dreddlington—there he was, reading, doubtless, some letter from the king or one of the royal family—a man of great rank—resplendent in his decorations—all just according to what he had seen in pictures, and heard and read of—what must that red ribbon have cost? Ay, indeed, poor Lord Dreddlington, it had cost you the labor of half a life of steadfast sycophancy, of watchful manoeuvring, and desperate exertion! And at last, the minister tossed it to you in a moment of disgust and despair—mortally perplexed by the conflicting claims of two sulky dukes and a querulous old marquis, each of whom threatened to withdraw his "influence and support," if his rival's claims were preferred! He had never seen any of such a breadth.—It must have been manufactured on purpose for the earl! How white were his hands! And he had an antique massive signet-ring on his forefinger, and two glittering rings at least on each of his little fingers—positively Titmouse at length began to regard him almost as a god:—and yet the amazing thought occurred that this august being was allied to him by the ties of relationship! Such were the thoughts and reflections passing through the mind of Titmouse, during the time that Lord Dreddlington was engaged in reading his letter—and afterwards during the brief intervals which elapsed between the various observations addressed to him by his Lordship.

The gentleman in black at length entered the room, and advancing slowly and noiselessly towards the earl, said in a gentlemanlike manner, "Dinner, my Lord;" and retired. Into what new scenes of splendid embarrassment was this the signal for Mr. Titmouse's introduction? thought our friend, and trembled.

"Mr. Titmouse, will you give your arm to the Lady Cecilia?" said the earl, motioning him to the sofa. Up jumped Titmouse, and approached hastily the recumbent beauty; who languidly arose, arranged her train with one hand, and with the other, having drawn on her glove, just barely touched the proffered arm of Titmouse, extended towards her at a very acute angle, and at right angles with his own body—stammering, "Honor to take your Ladyship—uncommon proud—this way, my Lady." Lady Cecilia took no more notice of him than if he had been a dumb waiter; walking beside him in silence—the earl following. To think that a nobleman of high rank was walking behind him!

Would to heaven, thought the embarrassed Titmouse, that he had two fronts, one for the earl behind, and the other to be turned full towards Lady Cecilia! The tall servants, powdered and in light blue liveries, stood like a guard of honor around the dining-room door. That room was extensive and lofty: what a solitary sort of state were they about to dine in! Titmouse felt cold, though it was summer; and trembled as he followed, rather than led, his haughty partner to her seat; and then was motioned into his own by the earl, himself sitting down opposite an antique silver soup tureen! A servant stood behind Lady Cecilia; another behind Titmouse; and a third on the left of the earl; while on his right, between his Lordship and the glistening sideboard, stood a portly gentleman in black, with a bald head and—Titmouse thought—a somewhat haughty countenance. Though Titmouse had touched nothing since breakfast, he felt not the slightest inclination to eat, and would have given the world to have dared to say as much, and be at once relieved from a vast deal of anxiety. Is it indeed easy to conceive of a fellow-creature in a state of more complete thraldom, at that moment, than poor little Titmouse? A little animal under the suddenly exhausted receiver of an air-pump, or a fish just plucked out of its own element, and flung gasping and struggling upon the grass, may serve to assist your conceptions of the position and sufferings of Mr. Titmouse. The earl, who was on the look-out for it, observed his condition with secret but complete satisfaction; here he beheld the legitimate effect of rank and state upon the human mind. Titmouse got through the soup—of which about half a dozen spoonfuls only were put into his plate—pretty fairly. Anywhere else than at Lord Dreddlington's, Titmouse would have thought it poor, thin, watery stuff, with a few green things chopped up and swimming in it; but now he perceived that it had a sort of superior flavor. How some red mullet, enclosed in paper, puzzled poor Titmouse, is best known to himself.

"The Lady Cecilia will take wine with you, Mr. Titmouse, I dare say, by-and-by," observed the earl, blandly; and in a moment's time, but with perfect deliberation, the servants poured wine into the two glasses. "Your Ladyship's health, my Lady"—faltered Titmouse. She slightly bowed, and a faint smile glimmered at the corners of her mouth—but unobserved by Titmouse.

"I think you said, Mr. Titmouse," quoth the earl, some time afterwards, "that you had not yet taken possession of Yatton?"

"No, my Lord; but I go down the day after to-morrow—quite—if I may say it, my Lord—quite in style"—answered Titmouse, with humble and hesitating jocularity of manner.

"Ha, ha!"—exclaimed the earl, gently.

"Had you any acquaintance with the Aubreys, Mr. Titmouse?" inquired the Lady Cecilia.

"No, my Lady—yes, your Ladyship, (I beg your Ladyship's pardon)—but, now I think of it, I had a slight acquaintance with Miss Aubrey." [Titmouse, Titmouse, you little wretch, how dare you say so?]

"She is considered pretty in the country, I believe," drawled Lady Cecilia, languidly.

"Oh, most uncommon lovely!—middling, only middling, my Lady, I should say"—added Titmouse, suddenly; having observed, as he fancied, rather a displeased look in Lady Cecilia. He had begun his sentence with more energy than he had yet shown in the house; he finished it hastily, and colored as he spoke—feeling that he had, somehow or another, committed himself.

"Do you form a new establishment at Yatton, sir?" inquired the earl, "or take to any part of that of your predecessor?"

"I have not, please your Lordship, made up my mind yet exactly—should like to know your Lordship's opinion."

"Why, sir, I should be governed by circumstances—by circumstances, sir; when you get there, sir, you will be better able to judge of the course you should pursue." Titmouse made an humble obeisance.

"Do you intend, Mr. Titmouse, to live in town, or in the country?" inquired Lady Cecilia.

"A little of both, my Lady—but mostly in town; because, as your Ladyship sees, the country is devilish dull—'pon my life, my Lady—my Lord—beg a thousand pardons," he suddenly added, bowing to both, and blushing violently. Here he had committed himself, and awfully; but his august companions bowed to him very kindly, and he presently recovered his self-possession.

"Are you fond of hunting, Mr. Titmouse?" inquired the earl.

"Why, my Lord, can't exactly say that I am—but your Lordship sees, cases alter circumstances, and when I get down there among the country gents, p'r'aps I may do as they do, my Lord."

"I presume, Mr. Titmouse, you have scarcely chosen a town residence yet?" inquired Lady Cecilia.

"No, my Lady—not fixed it yet—was thinking of taking Mr. Aubrey's house in Grosvenor Street, understanding it is to be sold;" then turning towards the earl—"because, as your Lordship sees, I was thinking of getting into both the nests of the old birds, while both are warm"—he added with a very faint smile.

"Exactly; yes—I see, sir—I understand you," replied Lord Dreddlington, sipping his wine. His manner rather discomposed Titmouse, to whom it then very naturally occurred that the earl might be warmly attached to the Aubreys, and not relish their being spoken of so lightly; so Titmouse hastily and anxiously added—"Your Lordship sees I was most particular sorry to make the Aubreys turn out. A most uncommon respectable gent, Mr. Aubrey: I assure your Lordship I think so."

"I had not the honor of his acquaintance, sir," replied the earl, coldly, and with exceeding stiffness, which flustered Titmouse not a little; and a pause occurred in the conversation for nearly a minute. Dinner had now considerably advanced, and Titmouse was beginning to grow a little familiar with the routine of matters. Remembering Gammon's caution concerning the wine, and also observing how very little was drunk by the earl and Lady Cecilia, Titmouse did the same; and during the whole of dinner had scarcely four full glasses of wine.

"How long is it," inquired the earl, addressing his daughter, "since the Aubreys took that house?" Lady Cecilia could not say. "Stay—now I recollect—surely it was just before my appointment to the Household. Yes; it was about that time, I now recollect. I am alluding, Mr. Titmouse," continued the earl, addressing him in a very gracious manner, "to an appointment under the Crown of some little distinction, which I was solicited to accept at the personal instance of his Majesty, on the occasion of our party coming into power—I mean that of Lord Steward of the Household."

"Dear me, my Lord! Indeed! Only to think, your Lordship!" exclaimed Titmouse, with such a profound deference in his manner as encouraged the earl to proceed.

"That, sir, was an office of great importance, and I had some hesitation in undertaking its responsibility. But, sir, when I had once committed myself to my sovereign and my country, I resolved to give them my best services. I had formed plans for effecting very extensive alterations, sir, in that department of the public service, which I have no doubt would have given great satisfaction to the country, as soon as the nature of my intentions became generally understood; when faction, sir, unfortunately prevailed, and we were compelled to relinquish office."

"Dear me, my Lord! How particular sorry I am to hear it, my Lord!" exclaimed Titmouse, as he gazed at the baffled statesman with an expression of respectful sympathy.

"Sir, it gives me sincere satisfaction," said the earl, after a pause, "to hear that our political opinions agree"——

"Oh yes! my Lord, quite; sure of that"——

"I assure you, sir, that some little acquaintance with the genius and spirit of the British constitution has satisfied me that this country can never be safely or advantageously governed except on sound Whig principles."—He paused.

"Yes, my Lord; it's quite true, your Lordship"—interposed Titmouse, reverentially.

"That, sir, is the only way I know of, by which aristocratic institutions can be brought to bear effectively upon, to blend harmoniously with the interests of the lower orders—the people, Mr. Titmouse." Titmouse thought this wonderfully fine, and sat listening as to an oracle of political wisdom. The earl, observing it, began to form a much higher opinion of his little kinsman. "The unfortunate gentleman, your predecessor at Yatton, sir, if he had but allowed himself to have been guided by those who had mixed in public affairs before he was born," said the earl, with great dignity——

"'Pon my word, my Lord, he was, I've heard, a d—d Tory!—Oh my Lady! my Lord! humbly beg pardon," he added, turning pale; but the fatal word had been uttered, and heard by both; and he felt as if he could have sunk through the floor.

"Shall I have the honor of taking another glass of wine with you, sir?" inquired the earl, rather gravely and severely, as if wishing Mr. Titmouse fully to appreciate the fearful breach of etiquette of which he had just been guilty, by swearing in such a presence. After they had bowed to each other, a very awkward pause occurred, which was at length broken by the considerate Lady Cecilia.

"Are you fond of the opera, Mr. Titmouse?"

"Very, my Lady—most particular," replied Titmouse, who had been there once only.

"Do you prefer the opera, or the ballet? I mean the music or the dancing?"

"Oh I understand your Ladyship. 'Pon my word, my Lady, I prefer them both. The dancing is most uncommon superior; though I must say, my Lady, the lady dancers there do most uncommonly—rather, I should say"—He stopped abruptly; his face flushed, and he felt as if he had burst into a perspiration. What the deuce was he about? It seemed as if some devil within were urging him on, from time to time, to commit himself. Good gracious! another word, and out would have come his opinion as to the shocking indecency of the ballet!

"I understand you, sir; I quite agree with you," said Lady Cecilia, calmly; "the ballet does come on at a sad late hour; I often wish they would now and then have the ballet first."

"'Pon my life, my Lady," quoth Titmouse, eagerly snatching at the plank which had been thrown to him; "that is what I meant—nothing else, upon my soul, your Ladyship!"

"Do you intend taking a box there, Mr. Titmouse?" inquired her Ladyship, with an appearance of interest in the expected answer.

"Why, your Ladyship, they say a box there is a precious long figure;—but in course, my Lady, when I've got to rights a little with my property—your Ladyship understands—I shall do the correct thing."

Here a very long pause ensued. How dismally quiet and deliberate was everything! The very servants, how noiselessly they waited! Everything done just when it was wanted, yet no hurry, or bustle, or noise; and they looked so composed—so much at their ease. He fancied that they had scarce anything else to do than look at him, and watch all his movements; which greatly embarrassed him, and he began to hate them. He tried hard to inspirit himself with a reflection upon his own suddenly acquired and really great personal importance; absolute master of Ten Thousand a-Year, a relation of the great man at whose table he sat, and whose hired servants they were; but then his timorously raised eye would light, for an instant, upon the splendid insignia of the earl; and he felt as oppressed as ever. What would he not have given for a few minutes' interval, and sense of complete freedom and independence? And were these to be his feelings ever hereafter? Was this the sort of tremulous apprehension of offence, and embarrassment as to his every move, to which he was to be doomed in high life? Oh that he had but been born to it, like the earl and the Lady Cecilia!

"Were you ever in the House of Lords, Mr. Titmouse?" inquired Lord Dreddlington, suddenly, after casting about for some little time for a topic on which he might converse with Titmouse.

"No, my Lord, never—should most uncommon like to see it, my Lord"—replied Titmouse, eagerly.

"Certainly, it is an impressive spectacle, sir, and well worth seeing," said the earl, solemnly.

"I suppose, my Lord, your Lordship goes there every day?"

"Why, sir, I believe I am pretty punctual in my attendance. I was there to-day, sir, till the House rose. Sir, I am of opinion that hereditary legislators—a practical anomaly in a free state like this—but one which has innumerable unperceived advantages to recommend it—Sir, our country expects at our hands, in discharge of so grave a trust—in short, if we were not to be true to—we who are in a peculiar sense the guardians of public liberty—if we were once to betray our trust—Let me trouble you sir, for a little of that——," said the earl, using some foreign word which Titmouse had never heard of before, and looking towards a delicately constructed fabric, as of compressed snow, which stood before Titmouse. A servant was in a twinkling beside him, with his Lordship's plate. Ah me! that I should have to relate so sad an event as presently occurred to Titmouse! He took a spoon; and, imagining the glistening fabric before him to be as solid as it looked, brought to bear upon it an adequate degree of force, even as if he had been going to scoop out a piece of Stilton cheese—and inserting his spoon at the summit of the snowy and deceitful structure, souse to the bottom went spoon, hand, coat-cuff, and all, and a very dismal noise evidenced that the dish on which the aforesaid spoon had descended, with so much force—was no longer a dish. It was, in fact, broken in halves, and the liquid from within, ran about on the cloth.... A cluster of servants was quickly around him.... A mist came over his eyes; the color deserted his cheek; and he had a strange feeling, as if verily the end of all things was at hand.

"I beg you will think nothing of it—for it really signifies nothing at all, Mr. Titmouse," said the earl, kindly, observing his agitation.

"Oh dear! oh my Lord—your Ladyship—what an uncommon stupid ass!" faltered Titmouse.

"Pray don't distress yourself, Mr. Titmouse," said Lady Cecilia, really feeling for his evident misery, "or you will distress us."

"I beg—humbly beg pardon—please your Lordship—your Ladyship. I'll replace it with the best in London the very first thing in the morning." Here the servant beside him, who was arranging the table-cloth, uttered a faint sound of suppressed laughter, which disconcerted Titmouse still more.

"Give yourself no concern—'tis only a trifle, Mr. Titmouse!—You understand, ha, ha?" said the earl, kindly.

"But if your Lordship will only allow me—expense is no object. I know the very best shop in Oxford Street."

"Suppose we take a glass of champagne together, Mr. Titmouse?" said the earl, rather peremptorily; and Titmouse had sense enough to be aware that he was to drop the subject. It was a good while before he recovered even the little degree of self-possession which he had had since first entering Lord Dreddlington's house. He had afterwards no very distinct recollection of the manner in which he got through the rest of dinner, but a general sense of his having been treated with the most kind and delicate forbearance—no fuss made. Suppose such an accident had occurred at Satin Lodge, or even Alibi House!

Shortly after the servants had withdrawn, Lady Cecilia rose to retire. Titmouse, seeing the earl approaching the bell, anticipated him in ringing it, and then darted to the door with the speed of a lamplighter to open it, as he did, just before a servant had raised his hand to it on the outside. Then he stood within, and the servant without, each bowing, and Lady Cecilia passed between them with stately step, her eyes fixed upon the ground, and her lip compressed with the effort to check her inclination to a smile—perhaps, even laughter. Titmouse was now left alone with Lord Dreddlington; and, on resuming his seat, most earnestly renewed his entreaties to be allowed to replace the dish which he had broken, assuring Lord Dreddlington that "money was no object at all." He was encountered, however, with so stern a negative by his Lordship, that, with a hurried apology, he dropped the subject; but the earl very good-naturedly added that he had perceived the joke intended by Mr. Titmouse—which was certainly a very good one! This would have set off poor Titmouse again; but a glance at the face of his magnificent host sealed his lips.

"I have heard it said, Mr. Titmouse," presently commenced the earl, "that you have been engaged in mercantile pursuits during the period of your exclusion from the estates which you have just recovered. Is it so, sir?"

"Ye-e-e-s—sir—my Lord"—replied Titmouse, hastily considering whether or not he should altogether sink the shop; but he dared hardly venture upon so very decisive a lie—"I was, please your Lordship, in one of the greatest establishments in the mercery line in London—at the west end, my Lord; most confidential, my Lord; management of everything; but, somehow, my Lord, I never took to it—always felt a cut above it—your Lordship understands?"

"Perfectly, sir; I can quite appreciate your feelings. But, sir, the mercantile interests of this great country are not to be overlooked!—Those who are concerned in them, are frequently respectable persons."

"Begging pardon, my Lord—no, they a'n't—if your Lordship only knew them as well as I do, my Lord. Most uncommon low people. Do anything to turn a penny, my Lord; and often sell damaged goods for best."

"It is very possible, sir, that there may exist irregularities, eccentricities, ha! ha! of that description; but upon the whole, sir, I am disposed to think that there are many very decent persons engaged in trade. I have had the happiness, sir, to assist in passing measures that were calculated, by removing restrictions and protective duties, to secure to this country the benefits of free and universal competition. We have been proceeding, sir, for many years, on altogether a wrong principle—that of protecting native industry and enterprise; but, not to follow out this matter farther, I must remind you, sir, that your acquaintance with the principles and leading details of mercantile transactions—undoubtedly one of the mainsprings of the national greatness—may hereafter be of use to you, sir."

"Yes, my Lord, 'pon my soul—when I'm furnishing my houses in town and country, I mean to go to market myself—please your Lordship, I know a trick or two of the trade, and can't be taken in, my Lord. For instance, my Lord, there's Tag-rag—a-hem! hem!" he paused abruptly, and looked somewhat confusedly at the earl.

"I did not mean that exactly," said his Lordship, unable to resist a smile. "Pray, fill your glass, Mr. Titmouse." He did so. "You are of course aware that you have the absolute patronage of the borough of Yatton, Mr. Titmouse?—It occurs to me, that as our political opinions agree, and unless I am presumptuous, sir, in so thinking—I may be regarded, in a political point of view, as the head of the family—you understand me, I hope, Mr. Titmouse?"

"Exactly, my Lord—'pon my soul, it's all correct, my Lord."

"Well—then, sir, the family interests, Mr. Titmouse, must be looked after"——

"Oh! in course, my Lord, only too happy—certainly, my Lord, we shall, I hope, make a very interesting family, if your Lordship so pleases—I can have no objection, my Lord!"

"It was a vile, a disgraceful trick, by which Ministers popped in their own man for our borough, Mr. Titmouse."

[Lord Dreddlington alluded to the circumstance of a new writ having been moved for, immediately on Mr. Aubrey's acceptance of the Chiltern Hundreds, and, before the Opposition could be prepared for such a step, sent down, without delay, to Yatton, and Sir Percival Pickering, Bart., of Luddington Court, an intimate friend of Mr. Aubrey's, and a keen unflinching Tory, being returned as member, before the Titmouse influence could be brought for even one moment into the field; the few and willing electors of that ancient and loyal borough being only too happy to have the opportunity of voting for a man whose principles they approved—probably the last they would have of doing so.]

"Yes, my Lord—Sir What-d'ye-call-him was a trifle too sharp for us, in that business, wasn't he?"

"It has succeeded, sir, for the moment, but"—continued his Lordship, in a very significant and stately manner—"it is quite possible that their triumph may be of very short duration—Mr. Titmouse. Those who, like myself, are at headquarters—let me see you fill your glass, Mr. Titmouse.—I have the honor to congratulate you, sir, on the recovery of your rights, and to wish you health and long life in the enjoyment of them," quoth the earl, with an air of the loftiest urbanity.

"May it please your Lordship, your Lordship's most uncommon polite"—commenced Titmouse, rising and standing while he spoke—for he had had experience enough of society, to be aware that when a gentleman's health is drunk on important occasions, it becomes him to rise and acknowledge the compliment in such language as he can command—"and am particularly proud—a—a—I beg to propose, my Lord, your Lordship's very superior good health, and many thanks." Then he sat down; each poured out another glass of claret, and Titmouse drank his off.

"It is extremely singular, sir," said the earl, musingly, after a considerable pause, "the reverses in life that one hears of!"

[I cannot help pausing, for a moment, to suggest—what must have become of the earl and his daughter, had they been placed in the situation of the unfortunate Aubreys?]

"Yes, my Lord, your Lordship's quite true, 'pon my word!—Most uncommon ups and downs! Lord, my Lord, only to fancy me, a few months ago, trotting up and down Oxford Street with my yard mea"——He stopped short, and colored violently.

"Well, sir," replied the earl, with an expression of bland and dignified sympathy—"however humble might have been your circumstances, it is a consolation to reflect that the Fates ordained it. Sir, there is nothing dishonorable in being poor, when—you cannot help it! Reverses of fortune, sir, have happened to some of the greatest characters in our history. You remember Alfred, sir?" Titmouse bowed assentingly; but had he been questioned, could have told, I suspect, as little about the matter—as the earl himself.

"Allow me, sir, to ask whether you have come to any arrangement with your late opponent concerning the backrents?" inquired the earl, with a great appearance of interest.

"No, my Lord, not yet; but my solicitors say they'll soon have the screw on, please your Lordship—that's just what they say—their very words."

"Indeed, sir!" replied the earl, gravely. "What is the sum to which they say you are entitled, sir?"

"Sixty thousand pounds, my Lord, at least—quite set me up at starting, my Lord—won't it?" replied Titmouse, with great glee; but the earl shuddered involuntarily for a moment, and sipped his wine in silence.

"By the way, Mr. Titmouse," said he, after a considerable pause—"I trust you will forgive me for suggesting whether it would not be a prudent step for you to go to one of the universities, for at least a twelvemonth."

"Humbly begging your Lordship's pardon, am not I too old? I've heard they're all a pack of overgrown schoolboys there—and learn nothing but a bit of some old languages that a'n't the least use now-a-days, seeing it a'n't spoke now, anywhere"—replied Titmouse—"Besides, I've talked the thing over with Mr. Gammon, my Lord"——

"Mr. Gammon? Allow me, sir, to ask who that may be?"

"One of my solicitors, my Lord; a most remarkable clever man, and an out-and-out lawyer, my Lord. It was he that found out all about my case, my Lord. If your Lordship was only to see him for a moment, your Lordship would say what a remarkable clever man that is!"

"You will forgive my curiosity, sir—but it must have surely required very ample means to have carried on so arduous a lawsuit as that which has just terminated so successfully?"

"Oh yes, my Lord!—Quirk, Gammon, and Snap did all that; and, between me and your Lordship, I suppose I shall have to come down a pretty long figure, all on the nail, as your Lordship understands; but I mean them to get it all out of that respectable gent, Mr. Aubrey!"—By quietly pressing his questions, the earl got a good deal more from Titmouse than he was aware of, concerning Messrs. Quirk, Gammon, and Snap; and in doing so, conceived a special dislike for Gammon. The earl gave him some pretty decisive hints about the necessity of being on his guard with such people—and hoped that he would not commit himself to anything important without consulting his Lordship, who would of course give him the advantage of his experience in the affairs of the world, and open his eyes to the designs of those whose only object was to make a prey of him. Titmouse began to feel that here, at length, he had met with a real friend—one whose suggestions were worthy of being received with the profoundest deference. Soon afterwards, he had the good fortune to please the earl, beyond expression, by venturing timidly to express his admiration of the splendid ribbon worn by his Lordship; who took the opportunity of explaining that and the other marks of distinction he wore, and others which he was entitled to wear, at great length and with much minuteness—so that he at length caused Titmouse to believe that he, Lord Dreddlington—the august head of the family—must have rendered more signal service, somehow or other, to his country, and also done more to win the admiration and gratitude of foreign countries, than most men of former or present times. His Lordship might not, perhaps, have intended it; but he went on till he had almost DEIFIED himself in the estimation of his little listener!—One very natural question was perpetually trembling on the tip of Titmouse's tongue; viz. how and when he could get such things for himself.

"Well, Mr. Titmouse," at length observed the earl, after looking at his watch—"shall we adjourn to the drawing-room? The fact is, sir, that Lady Cecilia and I have an evening engagement at the Duchess of Diamond's. I much regret being unable to take you with us, sir; but, as it is, shall we rejoin the Lady Cecilia?" continued his Lordship, rising. Up jumped Titmouse; and the earl and he were soon in the drawing-room; where, besides the Lady Cecilia, sat another lady, to whom he was not introduced in any way. This was Miss Macspleuchan, a distant connection of the earl's late countess—a very poor relation, who had entered the house of the Earl of Dreddlington, in order to eat the bitter, bitter bread of dependence. Poor soul! you might tell, by a glance at her, that she had not thriven upon it. She was about thirty, and so thin! She was dressed in plain white muslin; and there was a manifest constraint and timidity about her motions, and a depression in her countenance; whose lineaments showed that if she could have been happy, she might have appeared handsome. She had a most ladylike air; and there was thought in her brow and acuteness in her eye, which however, as it were, habitually watched the motions of the earl and the Lady Cecilia, with deference and anxiety. Poor Miss Macspleuchan felt herself gradually sinking into a sycophant; the alternative being that, or starvation. She was very accomplished, particularly in music and languages, while the Lady Cecilia really knew scarcely anything—for which reason, principally, she had long ago conceived a bitter dislike to Miss Macspleuchan, and inflicted on her a number of petty but exquisite mortifications and indignities; such, perhaps, as none but a sensitive soul could fully appreciate; for the earl and his daughter were exemplary persons in the proprieties of life, and would not do such things openly. She was a sort of companion of Lady Cecilia, and entirely dependent upon her and the earl for her subsistence. She was sitting on the sofa beside Lady Cecilia, when Titmouse re-entered the drawing-room; and the latter eyed him through her glass with infinite nonchalance, even when he had advanced to within a few feet of her. He made Miss Macspleuchan, as she rose to take her seat and prepare tea, a most obsequious bow. Absurd as was the style of its performance, she saw that there was politeness in the intention; 'twas moreover a courtesy towards herself, that was unusual from the earl's guests; and these considerations served to take off the edge of the ridicule and contempt with which Lady Cecilia had been preparing her to receive their newly-discovered kinsman. After standing for a second or two near the sofa, Titmouse ventured to sit himself down upon it—on the very edge only—as if afraid of disturbing Lady Cecilia, who was reclining on it with an air of languid hauteur.

"So you're going, my Lady, to a dance to-night, as my Lord says?" quoth Titmouse, respectfully; "hope your Ladyship will enjoy yourself!"

"We regret that you do not accompany us, Mr. Titmouse," said Lady Cecilia, slightly inclining towards him, and glancing at Miss Macspleuchan with a faint and bitter smile.

"Should have been most uncommon proud to have gone, please your Ladyship," replied Titmouse, as a servant brought him a cup of tea. "These cups and saucers, my Lady, come from abroad, I suppose? Now, I dare say, though they've rather a funny look, they cost a good deal?"

"I really do not know, sir; I believe we have had them some time."

"'Pon my life, my Lady, I like them amazing!" Seeing her Ladyship not disposed to talk, Titmouse became silent.

"Are you fond of music, Mr. Titmouse?" inquired the earl, presently; observing that the pause in the conversation had become embarrassing to Titmouse.

"Very, indeed, my Lord; is your Lordship?"

"I am rather fond of vocal music, sir—of the opera."

This the earl said, because Miss Macspleuchan played upon the piano very brilliantly, and did not sing. Miss Macspleuchan understood him.

"Do you play upon any instrument, Mr. Titmouse?" inquired Lady Cecilia, with a smile lurking about her lips, which increased a little when Titmouse replied in the negative;—but added that, he had once begun to learn the clarionet some years before, but could not manage the notes. "Excuse me, my Lady, but what an uncommon fine piano that is!" said he.—"If I may make so bold, will your Ladyship give us a tune?"

"I dare say Miss Macspleuchan will play for you, Mr. Titmouse, if you wish it," replied Lady Cecilia, coldly.

Some time afterwards, a servant announced to her Ladyship and the earl that the carriage was at the door; and presently they both retired to their dressing-rooms to make some slight alteration in their dress;—the earl to add an order or two, and Lady Cecilia to place upon her haughty brow a small tiara of brilliants. As soon as they had thus retired—"I shall feel great pleasure, sir, in playing for you, if you wish it," said Miss Macspleuchan, in a voice of such mingled melancholy and kindness as must have gone to Titmouse's heart, had he possessed one. He jumped up, and bowed profoundly. She sat down to the piano, and played with great ease and brilliancy such music as she supposed would suit her auditor—namely, waltzes and marches—till the door opened, and Lady Cecilia reappeared drawing on her gloves, with the glittering addition which I have mentioned—followed presently by the earl.

"Well, sir," said he, with dignified affability, "I need not repeat how highly gratified I feel at our introduction to each other. I trust you will henceforth consider yourself no stranger here"——

"Oh, 'pon my life, my Lord! your Lordship's most particular polite!" exclaimed Titmouse, in a low tone, and with a sudden and profound bow.

"And that on your return from Yorkshire," continued the earl, drawing on his gloves, "you will let us see you: we both feel great interest in your good fortunes. Sir, I have the honor to wish you a good evening!" He extended his gloved hand to his distinguished little kinsman, whose hand, however, he touched with little more than the ends of his fingers.

"We exceedingly regret that we must leave you, Mr. Titmouse," said Lady Cecilia, with forced seriousness; "but as we wish to leave the duchess's early, in order to go to another ball, we must go early. Good-evening, sir," and having dropped him a slight formal courtesy, she quitted the drawing-room followed by the earl, Titmouse making four or five such bows as provoked a smile from all who witnessed them. The next moment he was alone with Miss Macspleuchan. Her unaffected, good-natured address made him feel more at home within the next five minutes, than he had been since entering that frigid scene of foolish state—since being in the oppressive presence of the greatness just departed. She felt at first a contempt for him bordering upon disgust, but which very soon melted into pity. What a wretched creature was this to be put into such a dazzling position! What might be the design of Providence in placing such a being in the possession of such wealth and rank, at the expense of the virtuous Aubreys?

Titmouse soon got pretty communicative with Miss Macspleuchan, and told her about the Tag-rags, Miss Tag-rag, and Miss Quirk, both of whom were absolutely dying of love for him, and thought he was in love with them, which was not the case—far from it. Then he hinted something about a most particular uncommon lovely gal that had his heart, and he hoped to have hers, as soon as he had got all to rights at Yatton. Then he described the splendid style in which he was going down to take possession of his estates. Having finished this, he told her that he had been the morning before to see a man hanged for murdering his wife; that he had been into the condemned cell, and then into the press-room, and had seen his hands and arms tied, and shaken hands with him; and he was going into such a sickening minuteness of detail, that to avoid it Miss Macspleuchan, who felt both shocked and disgusted, suddenly asked him if he was fond of heraldry; and rising from the sofa, she went into the second room, where, on an elegant and antique stand, lay a huge roll of parchment, on a gilded stick, splendidly mounted and most superbly illuminated,—it was about three-quarters of a yard in breadth, and some ten or twenty feet in length. This was the Pedigree of the Dreddlingtons. She was giving him an account of Simon de Drelincourt, an early ancestor of the earl's, who had come over with William the Conqueror, and performed stupendous feats of valor at the battle of Hastings, Titmouse listening in open-mouthed awe, and almost trembling to think that he had broken a valuable dish belonging to a nobleman who had such wonderful ancestors; not, at the moment, adverting to the circumstance that he was himself descended from the very same ancestors, and had as rich blood in him as the earl and Lady Cecilia—when a servant entered and informed him in a whisper that "his carriage had arrived." He considered that etiquette required him to depart immediately.

"Beg your pardon; but if ever you should come down to my estate in the country, shall be most uncommon proud to see your Ladyship."

"I beg your pardon; you are mistaken, sir," interrupted Miss Macspleuchan, hastily, and blushing scarlet; the fact being that Titmouse had not caught her name on its having been once or twice pronounced by Lady Cecilia; and very naturally concluded that she also must be a lady of rank. Titmouse was, however, so occupied with his efforts to make a graceful exit, that he did not catch the explanation of his mistake; and, bowing almost down to the ground, reached the landing, where the tall servant, with a very easy grace, gave him his hat and cane, and preceded him down-stairs. As he descended, he felt in his pockets for some loose silver, and gave several shillings between the servants who stood in the hall to witness his departure; after which, one of them having opened the door and gently let down the steps of the glass-coach, Titmouse popped into it.

"Home, sir?" inquired the servant, as he closed the door.

"The Cabbage-Stalk Hotel, Covent Garden," replied Titmouse, with an affected drawl.

His answer was communicated to the coachman, who thereupon addressed a sharp argument to the brace of meek and skinny horses, standing with downcast heads before him—which they lifted up—then they got into motion—and away rumbled the glass-coach. As soon as its distinguished inmate had become calm enough to reflect upon the events of the evening, he came to the conclusion that the Earl of Dreddlington was a very great man indeed; the Lady Cecilia very beautiful, but rather proud; and Miss Macspleuchan (Lady Somebody, as he supposed) one of the most interesting ladies whom he had ever met with; that there was something uncommon pleasing about her: in short, he felt a sort of grateful attachment towards her; but how long it would have lasted after his hearing that she was only a plain miss, and a poor relation, I leave the acute reader to conjecture.