IT was settled that I should wait a day or two in New York to get my wardrobe arranged, and then begin my school experience. But when we got to New York, we found Mrs. Sandford's sister so ill as to claim her whole time. There was none to spare for me and my wardrobe. Mrs. Sandford said I must attend to it myself as well as I could, and the doctor would go with me. He was off duty, he reported, and at leisure for ladies' affairs. Mrs. Sandford told me what I would need. A warm school dress, she said; for the days would be often cold in this latitude until May, and even later; and schoolrooms not always warm. A warm dress for every day was the first thing. A fine merino, Mrs. Sandford said, would be, she thought, what my mother would choose. I had silks which might be warm enough for other occasions. Then I must have a thick coat or cloak. Long coats, with sleeves, were fashionable then, she told me; the doctor would take me where I would find plenty to choose from. And I needed a hat, or a bonnet. Unless, Mrs. Sand How much would it all cost? I asked. Mrs. Sandford made a rapid calculation. The merino would be two dollars a yard, she said; the coat might be got for thirty-five or thereabouts sufficiently good; the hat was entirely what I chose to make it. "But you know, my dear," Mrs. Sandford said, "the sort of quality and style your mother likes, and you will be guided by that." Must I be guided by that?—I questioned with myself. Yes, I knew. I knew very well; but I had other things to think of. I pondered. While I was pondering, Dr. Sandford was quietly opening his pocket-book and unfolding a roll of bills. He put a number of them into my hand. "That will cover it all, Daisy," he said. "It is money your father has made over to my keeping, for this and similar purposes." "Oh, thank you!" I said, breathless; and then I counted the bills. "Oh, thank you, Dr. Sandford: but may I spend all this?" "Certainly. Mr. Randolph desired it should go, this and more of it, to your expenses, of whatever kind. This covers my sister's estimate, and leaves something for your pocket besides." "And when shall we go?" I asked. "To spend it? Now, if you like. Why, Daisy, I did not know—" "What, sir?" I said as he paused. "Really, nothing," he said, smiling. "Somehow I had not fancied that you shared the passion of your sex for what they call shopping. You are all alike in some things." "I like it very much to-day," I said. "It would be safe for you to keep Daisy's money in your own pocket, Grant," Mrs. Sandford said. "It will be stolen from her, certainly." The doctor smiled and stretched out his hand; I put the bills into it: and away we went. My head was very busy. I knew, as Mrs. Sandford said, the sort and style of purchases my mother would make and approve; but then on the other hand the remembrance was burnt into me, whence that money came which I was expected to spend so freely, and what other uses and calls for it there were, even in the case of those very people whose hands had earned it for us. Not to go further, Margaret's wardrobe needed refitting quite as much as mine. She was quite as unaccustomed as I to the chills and blasts of a cold climate, and fully as unfurnished to meet them. I had seen her draw her thin checked shawl around her, when I knew it was not enough to save her from the weather, and that she had no more. And her gowns, of thin cotton stuff, such as she wore about her housework at Magnolia, were a bare provision against the nipping bite of the air here at the North. Yet nobody spoke of any addition to her stock of clothes. It was on my heart alone. But now it was in my hand too, and I felt very glad; though just how to manage Dr. Sandford I did not know. I thought a great deal about the whole matter as we went through the streets; as I had also thought long before; and my mind was clear, that while so many whom I knew needed the money, or while any whom I knew needed it, I would spend no useless dollars upon myself. How should I manage Dr. Sandford? There he was, my cash-keeper; and I had not the least wish to unfold my plans to him. "I suppose the dress is the first thing, Daisy," he said, as we "What colour, Daisy?" "I want something quiet," I said. "Something dark," said the doctor, seating himself. "And fine quality. Not green, Daisy, if I might advise. It is too cold." "Cold!" said I. "For this season. It is a very nice colour in summer, Daisy," he said, smiling. And he looked on in a kind of amused way, while the clerk of the merinoes and I confronted each other. There was displayed now before me a piece of claret-coloured stuff, dark and bright; a lovely tint and a very beautiful piece of goods. I knew enough of the matter to know that. Fine and thick and lustrous, it just suited my fancy; I knew it was just what my mother would buy; I saw Dr. Sandford's eye watch me in its amusement with a glance of expectation. But the stuff was two dollars and a quarter a yard. Yes, it suited me exactly; but what was to become of others if I were covered so luxuriously? And how could I save money if I spent it? It was hard to speak, too, before that shopman, who held the merino in his hand, expecting me to say I would take it; but I had no way to escape that trouble. I turned from the rich folds of claret stuff to the doctor at my side. "Dr. Sandford," I said, "I want to get something that will not cost so much." "Does it not please you?" he asked. "Yes; I like it: but I want some stuff that will not cost so much." "This is not far above my sister's estimate, Daisy." "No—" I said. "And the difference is a trifle—if you like the piece." "I like it," I said; "but it is very much above my estimate." "You had one of your own!" said the doctor. "Do you like something else here better?—or what is your estimate, Daisy?" "I do not want a poor merino," I said. "I would rather get some other stuff—if I can. I do not want to give more than a dollar." "The young lady may find what will suit her at the plaid counter," said the shopman, letting fall the rich drapery he had been holding up. "Just round that corner, sir, to the left." Dr. Sandford led the way, and I followed. There certainly I found plenty of warm stuffs, in various patterns and colours, and with prices as various. But nothing to match the grave elegance of those claret folds. It was coming down a step, to leave that counter for this. I knew it perfectly well; while I sought out the simplest and prettiest dark small plaid I could find. "Do you like these things better?" the doctor asked me privately. "No, sir," I said. "Then why come here, Daisy? Pardon me, may I ask?" "I have other things to get, Dr. Sandford," I said low. "But Daisy!" said the doctor, rousing up, "I have performed my part ill. You are not restricted—your father has not restricted you. I am your banker for whatever sums you may need—for whatever purposes." "Yes," I said, "I know. Oh no, I know papa has not restricted you; but I think I ought not to spend any more. It is my own affair." "And not mine. Pardon me, Daisy; I submit." "Please, Dr. Sandford, don't speak so!" I said. "I don't mean that. I mean, it is my own affair and not papa's." "Certainly, I have no more to say," said the doctor, smiling. "I will tell you all about it," I said; and then I desired the shopman to cut off the dress I had fixed upon; and we went upstairs to look for cloaks, I feeling hot and confused and half perplexed. I had never worn such a dress as this plaid I had bought in my life. It was nice and good, and pretty too; but it did not match the quality or the elegance of the things my mother always had got for me. She would not have liked it nor let me wear it; I knew that; but then—whence came the wealth that flowed over in such exquisite forms upon her and upon me? Were not its original and proper channels bare? And whence were they to be, even in any measure, refilled, if all the supply must, as usual, be led off in other directions? I mused as I went up the stairs, feeling perplexed, nevertheless, at the strangeness of the work I was doing, and with something in my heart giving a pull at my judgment towards the side of what was undoubtedly "pleasant to the eyes." So I followed Dr. Sandford up the stairs and into the wilderness of the cloak department, where all manner of elegancies, in silk, and velvet, and cloth, were displayed in orderly confusion. It was a wilderness to me, in the mood of my thoughts. Was I going to repeat here the process just gone through downstairs? The doctor seated me, asked what I wanted to see, and gave the order. And forthwith my eyes were regaled with a variety of temptations. A nice little black silk pelisse was hung on the stand opposite me; it was nice; a good gloss was upon the silk, the article was in the neatest style, and trimmed with great sim "Are you tired, Daisy?" said Dr. Sandford, bending down to look in my face. "No, sir. At least, that was not what I was thinking of." "When then?" said he. "Will one of these do?" "They would do," I said slowly. "But, Dr. Sandford, I should like to see something else—something that would do for somebody that was poorer than I." "Poorer?" said the doctor, looking funny. "What is the matter, Daisy? Have you suddenly become bankrupt? You need not be afraid, for the bank is in my pocket; and I know it will stand all your demands upon it." "No, but—I would indeed, if you please, Dr. Sandford. These things cost too much for what I want now." "Do you like them?" "I like them very well." "Then take whichever you like best. That is my advice to you, Daisy. The bank will bear it." "I think I must not. Please, Dr. Sandford, I should like to see something that would not cost so much. Do they all cost as much as these?" The doctor gave the order as I desired. The shopman who was serving us cast another comprehensive glance at me—I had seen him give one at the beginning—and tossing off the velvet coat and twisting off the silk one, he walked away. Presently he came back with a brown silk, which he hung in the place of the velvet one, and a blue cloth, which replaced the black silk. Every whit as costly, and almost as pretty, both of them. "No," said the doctor,—"you mistook me. We want to look at some goods fitted for persons who have not long purses." "Something inferior to these—" said the man. He was not uncivil; he just stated the fact. In accordance with which he replaced the last two coats with a little grey dreadnought, and a black cloth; the first neat and rough, the last not to be looked at. It was not in good taste, and a sort of thing that I neither had worn nor could wear. But the grey dreadnought was simple and warm and neat, and would offend nobody. I looked from it to the pretty black cloth which still hung in contrast with it, the one of the first there. Certainly, in style and elegance this looked like my mother's child, and the other did not. But this was forty dollars. The dreadnought was exactly half that sum. I had a little debate with myself—I remember it, for it was my first experience of that kind of thing—and all my mother's training had refined in me the sense of what was elegant and fitting, in dress as well as in other matters. Until now, I had never had my fancy crossed by anything I ever had to wear. The little grey dreadnought—how would it go with my silk dresses? It was like what I had seen other people dressed in; never my mother or me. Yet it was perfectly fitting a lady's child, if she could not afford other; and where was Margaret's cloak to come from? And who had the best right? I pondered and debated, and then "Is that all, Daisy?" my friend asked. "Dr. Sandford," said I, standing up and speaking low, "I want to find—can I find here, do you think?—a good warm cloak and dress for Margaret." "For Margaret?" said the doctor. "Yes; she is not used to the cold, you know; and she has nothing to keep her comfortable." "But, Daisy!" said the doctor,—"sit down here again; I must understand this. Was Margaret at the bottom of all these financial operations?" "I knew she wanted something, ever since we came from Washington," I said. "Daisy, she could have had it." "Yes, Dr. Sandford;—but—" "But what, if you will be so good?" "I think it was right for me to get it." "I am sorry I do not agree with you at all. It was for me to get it—I am supplied with funds, Daisy—and your father has entrusted to me the making of all arrangements which are in any way good for your comfort. I think, with your leave, I shall reverse these bargains. Have you been all this time pleasing Margaret and not yourself?" "No, sir," I said,—"if you please. I cannot explain it, Dr. Sandford, but I know it is right." "What is right, Daisy? My faculties are stupid." "No, sir; but—Let it be as it is, please." "But won't you explain it? I ought to know what I am giving my consent to, Daisy; for just now I am constituted your guardian. What has Margaret to do with your cloaks? There is enough for both." "But," said I, in a great deal of difficulty,—"there is not enough for me and everybody." "Are you going to take care of the wants of everybody?" "I think—I ought to take care of all that I can," I said. "But you have not the power." "I won't do but what I have the power for." "Daisy, what would your father and mother say to such a course of action? would they allow it, do you think?" "But you are my guardian now, Dr. Sandford," I said, looking up at him. He paused a minute doubtfully. "I am conquered!" he said. "You have absolutely conquered me, Daisy. I have not a word to say. I wonder if that is the way you are going through the world in future? What is it now about Margaret?—for I was bewildered and did not understand." "A warm cloak and dress," I said, delighted; "that is what I want. Can I get them here?" "Doubtful, I should say," he answered; "but we will try." And we did succeed in finding the dress, strong and warm and suitable; the cloak we had to go to another shop for. On the way we stopped at the milliner's. My Aunt Gary and Mrs. Sandford employed the same one. "I put it in your hands, Daisy!" Dr. Sandford said, as we went in. "Only let me look on." I kept him waiting a good while, I am afraid; but he was very patient and seemed amused. I was not. The business "She has grown," said the milliner, appealing to Dr. Sandford; "and you see this is the very thing. This tinge of colour inside is just enough to relieve the pale cheeks. Do you see, sir?" "It is without a fault," said the doctor. "Take it off, please," I said. "I want to find something that will not cost so much—something that will not cost near so much." "There is that cap that is too large for Miss Van Allen—" the milliner's assistant remarked. "It would not suit Mrs. Randolph at all," was the answer aside. But I begged to see it. Now this was a comfortable, soft quilted silk cap, with a chinchilla border. Not much style about it, but also nothing to dislike, except its simplicity. The price was moderate, and it fitted me. You are going to be a different Daisy Randolph from what you have been all your life—something whispered to me. And Margaret's purchases were all found, and we went home, with money still in my bank, Dr. Sandford informed me. I was very tired; but on the whole I was very satisfied, until my things came home, and I saw that Mrs. Sandford did not like them. "I wish I could have been with you!" she said. "What is the matter?" said the doctor. It was the evening, and we were all together for a few minutes, before Mrs. Sandford went to her sister. "Did you choose these things, Grant?" "What is the matter with them?" "They are hardly suitable." "For the third time, what is the matter with them?" said the doctor. "They are neat, but they are not handsome." "They will look handsome when they are on," said Dr. Sandford. "No they won't; they will look common. I don't mean vulgar—you could not buy anything in bad taste—but they are just what anybody's child might wear." "Then Mrs. Randolph's child might." Mrs. Sandford gave him a look. "That is just the thing," she said. "Mrs. Randolph's child might not. I never saw anybody more elegant or more particular about the choice of her dress than Mrs. Randolph; it is always perfect; and Daisy's always was. Mrs. Randolph would not like these." "Shall we change them, Daisy?" said the doctor. I said "No." "Then I hope they will wear out before Mrs. Randolph comes home," he said. All this, somehow, made me uncomfortable. I went off to the room which had been given to me, where a fire was kept; and I sat down to think. Certainly, I would have liked the other coat and hat better, that I had rejected; and the thought of the rich soft folds of that silky merino were not pleasant to me. The plaid I had bought did wear a common look in comparison. I knew it, quite as well as Mrs. Sandford; and that I had never worn common things; and I knew that in the merino, properly made, I should have looked my mother's child; and that in the plaid my mother would not know me. Was I right? was I wrong? I knelt down before the fire, feeling that the straight path was not always easy to find. Yet I had thought I saw it before me. I knelt before the fire, which was the only light in the room, and opened the page of my dear little book that had the Bible lessons for every day. This day's lesson was headed, "That ye adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour in all things." The mist began to clear away. Between adorning and being adorned, the difference was so great, it set my face quite another way directly. I went on. "Let your conversation be as it becometh the gospel of Christ." And how should that be? Certainly, the spirit of that gospel had no regard to self-glorification; and had most tender regard to the wants of others. I began to feel sure that I was in the way and not out of it. Then came—"If ye be reproached for the name of Christ, happy are ye. But let none of you suffer ... as a thief, or as an evildoer"—"Let your light so shine The words came about me, binding up my doubts, making sound my heart, laying a soft touch upon every rough spot in my thoughts. True, honest, just, lovely, and of good report,—yes, I would think on these things, and I would not be turned aside from them. And if I suffered as a Christian, I determined that I would not be ashamed; I prayed that I might never; I would take as no dishonour the laughter or the contempt of those who did not see the two sides of the question; but as a thief I would not suffer. I earnestly prayed that I might not. No beauty of dresses or stylishness of coats or bonnets should adorn me, the price of which God saw belonged and was due to the sufferings of others; more especially to the wants of those whose wants made my supply. That my father and mother, with the usage of old habit, and the influence of universal custom, should be blind to what I saw so clearly, made no difference in my duty. I had the light of the Bible rule, which was not yet, I knew, the lamp to their feet. I must walk by it, all the same. And my thought went back now with great tenderness to Mammy Theresa's rheumatism, which wanted flannel; to Maria's hyacinths, which were her great earthly interest, out of the things of religion; to Darry's lonely cottage, where he had no lamp to read the Bible o' nights, and no oil to burn in it. To Pete's solitary hut, too, where he was struggling to learn to read well, and where a hymn-book would be the greatest comfort to him. To the old people, whose one solace of a cup of tea would be gone unless I gave it them; to the boys who were learning to read, "Margaret," I said, "I have got you a warm gown and a good thick warm cloak, to-day." "A cloak! Miss Daisy—" Margaret's lips just parted and showed the white teeth between them. "Yes. I saw you were not warm in that thin shawl." "It's mighty cold up these ways!—" the girls shoulders drew together with involuntary expression. "And now, Margaret, what other things do you want, to be nice and comfortable? You must tell me now, because after I go to school I cannot see you often, you know." "Reckon I find something to do at the school, Miss Daisy. Ain't there servants?" "Yes, but I am afraid there may not be another wanted. What else ought you to have, Margaret?" "Miss Daisy knows, I'll hire myself out, and reckon I'll get a right smart chance of wages; and then, if Miss Daisy let me take some change, I'd like to get some things—" "You may keep all your wages, Margaret," I said hastily; "you need not bring them to me; but I want to know if you have all you need now, to be nice and warm?" "'Spect I'd be better for some underclothes—" Margaret said, half under her breath. Of course! I knew it the moment she said it. I knew the scanty coarse supply which was furnished to the girls and women So I came into the parlour. Dr. Sandford alone was there, lying on the sofa. He jumped up immediately; pulled a great arm chair near to the fire, and taking hold of me, put me into it. My purchases were lying on the table, where they had been disapproved, but I knew what to think of them now. I could look at them very contentedly. "How do they seem, Daisy?" said the doctor, stretching himself on the cushions again, after asking my permission and pardon. "Very well,"—I said, smiling. "You are satisfied?" I said yes. "Daisy," said he, "you have conquered me to-day—I have yielded—I owned myself conquered; but won't you enlighten me? As a matter of favour?" "About what, Dr. Sandford?" "I don't understand you." I remember looking at him and smiling. It was so curious a "There!" said he,—"that is my old little Daisy of ten years old. Daisy, I used to think she was an extremely dainty and particular little person." "Yes—" said I. "Was that correct?" "I don't know," said I. "I think it was." "Then Daisy, honestly—I am asking as a philosopher, and that means a lover of knowledge, you know,—did you choose those articles to-day to please yourself?" "In one way, I did," I answered. "Did they appear to you as they did to Mrs. Sandford,—at the time?" "Yes, Dr. Sandford." "So I thought. Then, Daisy, will you make me understand it? For I am puzzled." I was sorry that he cared about the puzzle, for I did not want to go into it. I was almost sure he would not make it out if I did. However, he lay there looking at me and waiting. "Those other things cost too much, Dr. Sandford—that was all." "There is the puzzle!" said the doctor. "You had the money in your bank for them, and money for Margaret's things too, and more if you wanted it; and no bottom to the bank at all, so far as I could see. And you like pretty things, Daisy, and you did not choose them?" "No, sir." I hesitated, and he waited. How was I to tell him? He would "I thought I should be comfortable in these things, Dr. Sandford," I then said, glancing at the little chinchilla cap which lay on the table;—"and respectable. And there were other people who needed all the money the other things would have cost." "What other people?" said the doctor. "As I am your guardian, Daisy, it is proper for me to ask, and not impertinent." I hesitated again. "I was thinking," I said, "of some of the people I left at Magnolia." "Do you mean the servants?" "Yes, sir." "Daisy, they are cared for." I was silent. "What do you think they want?" "Some that are sick want comfort," I said, "and others who are not sick want help; and others, I think, want a little pleasure." I would fain not have spoken, but how could I help it? The doctor took his feet off the sofa and sat up and confronted me. "In the meantime," he said, "you are to be 'comfortable and respectable.' But, Daisy, do you think your father and mother would be satisfied with such a statement of your condition?" "I suppose not," I was obliged to say. "Then do you think it proper for me to allow such to be the fact?" I looked at him. What there was in my look it is impossible for me to say; but he laughed a little. "Yes," he said,—"I know—you have conquered me to-day. I own myself conquered—but the question I ask you is whether I am justifiable." "I think that depends," I answered, "on whether I am justifiable." "Can you justify yourself, Daisy?" he said, bringing his hand down gently over my smooth hair and touching my cheek. It would have vexed me from anybody else; it did not vex me from him. "Can you justify yourself?" he repeated. "Yes, sir," I said; but I felt troubled. "Then do it." "Dr. Sandford, the Bible says, 'Whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.'" "Well," said he, refusing to draw any conclusions for me. "I have more than I want, and they have not enough. I don't think I ought to keep more than I want." "But then arises the question," said he, "how much do you want? Where is the line, beyond which you, or I, for instance, have too much?" "I was not speaking of anybody but myself," I said. "But a rule of action which is the right one for you, would be right for everybody." "Yes, but everybody must apply it for himself," I said. "I was only applying it for myself." "And applying it for yourself, Daisy, is it to cut off for the future—or ought it—all elegance and beauty? Must you restrict yourself to mere 'comfort and respectability'? Are furs and feathers, for instance, wicked things?" He did not speak it mockingly; Dr. Sandford never could do an ungentlemanly thing; he spoke kindly and with a little rallying smile on his face. But I knew what he thought. "Dr. Sandford," said I, "suppose I was a fairy, and that I stripped the gown off a poor woman's back to change it into a There came a curious lightning through the doctor's blue eyes. I did not know in the least what it meant. "Do you mean to say, Daisy, that the poor people down yonder at Magnolia want such things as gowns and blankets?" "Some do," I said. "You know, nobody is there, Dr. Sandford, to look after them; and the overseer does not care. It would be different if papa was at home." "I will never interfere with you any more, Daisy," said the doctor,—"any further than by a little very judicious interference; and you shall find in me the best helper I can be to all your plans. You may use me—you have conquered me,"—said he, smiling, and laying himself back on his cushions again. I was very glad it had ended so, for I could hardly have withstood Dr. Sandford if he had taken a different view of the matter. And his help, I knew, might be very good in getting things sent to Magnolia. |