CHAPTER XL TEACHING TRUTH

Previous

We confidently believe that most of the sex immorality seen in young people is more or less the result of ignorance and curiosity; therefore we most earnestly desire in this chapter to portray so interestingly the beautiful story of life as seen in the vegetable and animal world, that our mother-readers will be seized with the great desire wisely to convey to the young child's mind this sublime and beautiful story. The questions most naturally arising in the mind of the reader at this time are: When shall we begin to tell this story? How shall we tell it? Where shall we begin? Where shall we stop? Realizing full well that the subject is usually handled prematurely and with unpreparedness, we will attempt in this chapter to discuss it with courage and candor, believing that there is a right way, a right time, and a right place to impart this information.

A LESSON FROM NATURE

When the little folks are about three or four years of age, when confidence and trust are at their height, they often come to us begging for a "story;" and this is the golden opportunity for the parent or caretaker to tell them the story of Mr. and Mrs. Corn, and all their little babies; or Mr. and Mrs. Morning Glory and their little folks. There are a score of other equally interesting and instructive botanical stories which are just as beautiful in their sublimity, and fairy-like in their personality. The little children's eyes grow big with wonder as you tell the story of a whole township of families by the name of Corn (See Fig. 17), who have their residences out in the wide country fields.

Fig. 17 Fig.18 Fig. 17Fig.18

We will first introduce the child to Mr. Corn, the tassel, waving proudly and majestically in the breezes, and seeming to say: "I am master of all I survey." The little fellow is filled with wonderment as he learns how the clouds give up their drops of water to quench his thirst and how the sun smiles upon him to yellow his beard; and how the wonderful all-important pollen is developed and ripened.

Often the child eagerly asks, "And where, mamma, is Mrs. Corn?" and to that interested upturned face we relate the pleasing story of the beautiful silken tresses of Mother Corn. Early in her life she is a beautiful shade of green, and as she thus gracefully hangs out from the ear of corn, day by day the smiles of sunshine turn this mother corn to brown, and then to a still darker shade.

"And where, mamma, are the babies?" the child next inquires; and, as we take the ear of corn, removing the outer clothing—the husks—we find the underclothing, a much lighter shade of green, and here now we are in close contact with the babies themselves—the kernels—and to each little kernel or baby corn we find mamma closely clinging. Here is a beautiful opportunity to teach mother-love and mother watchfulness, as also the opportunity to draw lessons from the baby kernels sitting there in even rows, with their faces clean, silently contented—just doing their duty. The stories that may be told are limitless, and possibly as interesting as are the myths and fairy-tales, yet all the while as true as truth itself, with no fakery, no legends—just simple truth.

THE ALL IMPORTANT POLLEN

Now on a second trip into the cornfield, another story may be told of the important work of the pollen. This "father part" of the plant falls upon the silken tresses of the "mother part," by which the pollen is carried down to the sleeping corn-baby seeds—the kernels. And when the "corn dust" does reach the sleeping seeds a great change begins to take place. This change is known to the adult as "impregnation;" to the little child it may be presented as "an awakening" of the sleeping seeds, so that they begin to grow, to develop, to expand and push out, until we have the full-grown seeds seen in the delicious and juicy roasting ear.

Sometimes, in the case of the larger plants and trees, Father Tree may be miles and miles away from Mother Tree and so this all important pollen must be carried by the wind or by the bees, and as it blows against the mother part of the plant-flower she catches it and pushes it downward to the seed babies. The wind scatters the pollen of the oak tree, the hazlenut, the walnut, the birch, the willow and many others; for, without the good kind wind or the bees, the pollen would never find its way to many a mother flower, and the "fertilization" of the seed could not take place.

THE MORNING GLORY FAMILY

Perhaps the story of life can be told as beautifully from the morning-glory as from any other flower. Here the beautiful flower cup is the home of Father and Mother Morning-Glory and all their little babies. (See Fig. 18).

As we carefully take away their little home, the flower cup, we have left a little green cup, and coming up from the center you will see five little stems, every one of them wearing a hat of powder or pollen and this—if you please—is Papa Morning-Glory. Look closely and you will see coming up from the center of these five stems (stamens) one central stalk without a hat, Mother Morning-Glory, known in botany as the "pistil"; and as you follow down this pistil you will find an enlarged part at the base, which is known as the cradle-nest—the home of the seed babies.

Little was known about this wonderful fertilization of the seeds by the pollen two hundred years ago, and a whole century passed before the secret of the blossom and the bees was discovered; and even then it was not fully realized how great was the work of the bees in cross-fertilization. Nor was it understood that the beautiful blossom of the flower, with its sweet nectar, was an exceedingly important factor in attracting the bees. Another century passed before Darwin gave to the world the story of the great work performed by the bees in cross-fertilization—in carrying the pollen from flower to flower, for it is now a well-known fact that all of the blossoms visited by the bees produce better fruit and better flowers.

In the flower where the father and mother part matures at the same time, self-fertilization is the rule. Cross-fertilization occurs in instances where either the father part or mother part ripen at different times, in these cases the pollen is carried from plant to plant by the wind or by the nectar-seeking bees. These busy bees, with their fluffy little feet and fuzzy coats, become completely covered with this all-important flower dust, and in seeking nectar from other flowers they leave the "awakening dust" behind, and thus cross-fertilization takes place; new types of babies are produced, new generations of fruits and flowers.

HOW MOTHER NATURE WORKS

Dr. Chadwick, in her Blossom Babies, gives us a beautiful recital concerning the fertilization of plants, which provides an endless number of interesting stories. The water plants are very interesting in that the pollen is just light enough to float on the exact level of the mother part of the flower, otherwise fertilization could never take place, and there would be no more lovely lilies. Long throated blossoms are fertilized by their attraction for certain moths or humming birds who have long tongues. Mother Nature is exceedingly careful to reproduce her children, and in every conceivable way she sees to it that her plant-seeds are fertilized and distributed. We are all familiar with the dandelion and the thistle and a host of others which fly through the air with actual plumes, some seeds fly with wings, such as the maple; other seeds travel by clinging or sticking, such as the cockle burr; still others float and shoot; while we all know about a lot of seeds that are good to eat, such as the nuts and fruits, as well as many of the grains, such as corn, etc.

An incubator about hatching time is a wonderful object lesson in teaching the story of life. Take the children to visit one and let them actually see the live baby chicks coming forth from the seed-shells. Other wonderful lessons may be drawn from the mother horse or the mother cow; and it is impossible to portray the close companionship, the sublime trust and confidence, which exists between the mother and the child who have been bound together by these ties and sentiments of truthfulness, trustfulness, and frankness.

THE SALMON FAMILY

The little fellow is daily learning that everything that grows comes from a seed, even the salmon which was eaten at lunch yesterday was the text for an impressive story about Papa and Mamma Salmon. In the beautiful Columbia river Mother Salmon is swimming about quietly seeking a shallow place in the stream where she may deposit her cluster of baby seeds, which looks very much like a mass of tapioca pudding as they gently sink to the bed of a shallow spot in the river. There they lay "sound asleep" until Father Salmon, swimming by, is attracted to the spot and, hesitating, talks something like this to himself: "Why the idea, here are some helpless fish-baby seeds, they can't grow and develop without me, here they are sound asleep;" and, nestling over them, he contributes the self-same and all important "something"—comparable to the pollen of the plants—which wakes them up. In the case of the fish the "awakening" substance is not in the form of a powder as in the plant world; but is in the form of a semi-liquid mass, much resembling the white of an egg. The little seeds soon begin to tremble—begin to wake up—and then begin to swell and grow and develop. In a few days what do you suppose happens to these little bulging baby seeds? The very same thing that happened to the chick seed—they burst and out come hundreds of cute little fish minnows. In just a few hours they are all swimming about in a most wonderful fish-like manner.

EARLY QUESTIONS

Some day you will be surprised by your little child suddenly asking you some such question as this: "Mother, where did I come from?" while in the same frank manner you reply: "Why from your mamma, of course; where do you think you could have come from? Everything that grows comes from its mamma—oranges, apples, radishes, cabbages, cats, dogs, and chickies—everything that grows has to have a mamma and papa," and they are often satisfied with this answer for a long time. No child should go to kindergarten without knowing that he came from his mother, and this knowledge should come to him from his own mother's lips. These are different days than those in which our grandmothers lived. The spirit of investigation and of inquiry is in the air. The moving-picture show makes it necessary for children of nine or ten to understand these things—to have a knowledge of certain of the conventionalities of life. Twenty years ago this may not have been so necessary—the youth of that day might have waited several years longer for certain phases of his sex instruction. It is highly important that this knowledge be obtained from a wise and pure and sympathetic mind—from the child's own parents.

One mother put her little girl's questions off week after week, saying: "I will tell you when you get older, dear—no, not now, dear; run away, you are not old enough to know such things, you must forget about them." Thus the unprepared mother sought to gain time in which to consult the doctor or the library. Finally the day came when the mother felt that she was sufficiently wise to answer the query, "Where did I come from," and so with her heart in her throat she approached her daughter, saying: "Come, Mary, mother is going to tell you all about it. I am now ready to answer your question." Imagine her surprise and astonishment when Mary said: "Oh, you needn't mind, mother, Kate told me all about it last week." Now the question in my mind is: how did Kate tell her? How much unnecessary information did this older and experienced Kate put into the pure mind of this innocent little girl?

ONE MOTHER'S AWAKENING

One mother in a western state—a county superintendent of schools—told us the following interesting story of her own experience, which we think may be of help to some of our mother readers.

One morning her seven-year old son rushed into the house exclaiming: "Oh, mother, there is a new calf out in the barn, and I know where it came from; I saw a wagon load of calves come by here yesterday, and one of them must have dropped off, for it is right out there in the barn with old Bess this minute."

The mother was very busy with her papers and her reports, and she let the incident pass with a smile, thinking it was a very pretty little story. A week later the six-year old brother came in saying: "Mother, I think there must have been another wagon load of calves passed by, and one must have been lost off, for old Nell is cleaning up a little calf out in the barn for all she is worth," while the older brother piped up: "Sure, it was another load of calves; that is just exactly the way the other calf got here;" and the two little fellows went off to school.

About a month later that county superintendent suddenly became a much wiser mother than she was before, although her heart was made to ache. Both boys came home from school one day and the older one met her with something like this: "I am mad! I've been lied to; all the fellows at school say I have, and they are making sport of me, too," and with a glare in his reddened eye he continued, "You know that new calf did not come off that wagon; you know that calf came from old Bess herself; all the fellows say so at school, and they are making all kinds of fun of me, and I don't want to go back. I'd like to run away from home." The mother quietly drew the boy to her side and reminded him that she had simply listened; that she had not opened her mouth; that he came into the room and told about the incident himself, but this did not satisfy him. He turned to her wounded and crushed, saying: "Well, you let a fellow believe it, and that's just as bad;" and this educated mother—this trusted custodian of a county full of school children—beseeched me to warn mothers everywhere to teach their children the truth, and to never let a child go to school with a sex misunderstanding. She told me that it took her six months to get that boy's confidence back again.

DON'T GET SHOCKED

I believe that many mothers make the sad mistake of showing the child that they are shocked by trivial sayings and trifling experiences of their little people. If we could only get it into our heads for once and for all that our children are born into this world veritable little thieves and falsifiers, as well as adventurers and explorers, we would then cease being so shocked and outraged by their frank statements of what they have heard or have done. Let the mother listen to all these things with calmness, while she seeks to direct the child's mind in pure and elevated channels—to help him upward by imparting "precept upon precept; here a little and there a little."

Children will come in with stories that at first thought do greatly shock the parent; but under no circumstances should the boy or girl discover that the parent is shocked, for if he does he will not likely come again with another such "shocking" difficulty. One mother told me that her seven-year-old boy, beginning third grade, came into her bedroom one morning saying: "Mother, I am just busting to say something," and this mother very wisely said, "Well, say it; certainly I don't want you to burst," and she told me that this boy whispered to her three of the filthiest words that he could possibly have heard on the streets. In relating this experience to me she said: "Do you know, doctor, that I really did not know what to think at first, but I remembered that you had taught me never to be shocked, and so I looked up and asked: "Do you feel better?" whereupon he breathed a big sigh and exclaimed: "What a relief! I have just been busting to say that to somebody." Mother, to whom would you rather he would say these things? to you, or to some little girl out on the street, or to some older boy? Think what trouble and possible mischief were avoided by whispering into the sympathetic ear of mother. This wise mother turned to that little boy and said: "Son, that ear is always waiting for just such things and whenever you feel like saying something—like getting it off your mind—you just come to me;" and he came repeatedly. One time he came in saying: "I don't know whether you want me to play with Harold or not; he does some of those things you told me about the other day." And the mother thoughtfully and wisely looked up and said: "Did he do it in front of his mother? Why of course he didn't. Did he ask you to go into the bedroom or bathroom and lock the door?" and the little fellow quickly answered: "Why sure he did; how did you guess it?" and added "now I suppose you are not going to let me play with him any more," and this wise mother, knowing that if she denied him this privilege that it would quite likely be frequently sought, said: "Why, certainly play with Harold in the open, but whenever he suggests secrecy—" she did not have time to finish the sentence, the boy said: "I am wise; whenever he gets to doing that 'funny business' I'll skiddoo." The confidence between that mother and son, to my mind, was wonderfully sublime—all the while practical and helpful in his daily training.

DON'T REPULSE THE CHILD

A little older child sees the fowls, the dogs, or the cats, "mating," and then, rushing into the house, inquires what it is all about; and unless the mother is on her guard some older member of the family may show surprise and thus thoughtlessly convey to the child's mind that his question is improper and entirely out of place. To the question, "What are they doing, mamma?" quietly answer, "Just mating, dear, just as the flowers mate; everything that lives or grows comes as the result of mating."

Suppose that you were repulsed every time you approached a dear friend, your husband, or some other member of the family? Take, for instance, the matter of a caress or an embrace—how would you react to repeated rebuff? And so with the little child; he comes into this world full of confidence and trust, full of wonder and curiosity; possessed with the spirit of exploration and investigation—everywhere and all the time he asks questions. Usually, his questions are answered thoughtfully and without hesitancy, except along the line of one thought—that of sex. Do not think for one moment that he is satisfied by your evasive answers. You have but to recall your own childhood experiences, and remember that today the moving picture show and general public sentiment has placed the age for such knowledge from one to five years earlier in this generation than in the past. I do not care what the child comes into your presence with, be it the most shocking thing in this world, do not under any circumstances let it disturb your mental poise, or raise your ire or shock you; for if you do, then and there—at that moment—occurs a break in the sublime confidence which the child reposes in you.

NECESSARY MORAL TRAINING

While we are using the plant and animal world as object lessons in teaching our children the facts of sex and the secrets of life; while we face the commonplace sex matings of the animals about us without cringing, without appearing to be shocked when our children call attention to these things; nevertheless, when the child is old enough to take cognizance of these phenomena, he is old enough to begin to receive some definite instruction from his parents regarding the moral phase of these great biologic problems. We cannot safely and indefinitely utilize the animal world as an object lesson in sex education, without at the same time emphasizing the moral difference between man and the beast.

Many parents treat these sex problems so lightly and endeavor to act so naturally and unconcerned about these questions, that the child comes to look upon the promiscuous sexual relations of the animal world as something altogether natural; and, unless proper moral and religious training is carried on at this time, he stands in danger of coming to regard lightly the moral standards of modern society.

At the same time of life that Mother Nature fully develops the sex instincts—at adolescence—she also awakens the religious emotions; the one being so necessary for the proper and adequate control of the other. Let parents take a cue from old Mother Nature, and at the same time the sex relations of animals are freely discussed with the growing child, let the mother or father wisely call attention to the fact that but very few of the animals live family lives as do human beings. In this connection valuable use—by way of illustration—can be made of the ostrich and some of the ape family who are loyal and true to their chosen companions.

Moral and religious instruction must accompany sex-hygiene teaching just as soon as you leave the realms of botany and enter the sphere of zoology. We could here relate many a tragic experience which our patients have passed through as a result of volunteering too much sex knowledge and at the same time neglecting this very necessary moral instruction.

SANTA CLAUS AND THE STORK

We must bear in mind that the child believes what we tell him; he trusts us implicitly and we owe it to him to teach him the truth in answer to his numerous questions. We must keep his confidence. Take the matter of Christmas, for instance. How many confidences have been broken over the falsehood of Santa Claus and the chimney. Two little fellows hesitated in their play in the back yard, and the following conversation was heard: "You know that story about Santa Claus is all a fake." "Sure it is, I know it isn't so, I saw my father and mother filling the stockings. You know that stork story is all a lie too, there's nothing to it, babies don't come that way, and now I'm investigating this Jesus Christ story, I suppose that's all a fake too." The fact of the matter is, that while these children have discovered the truth of the first two stories, for a long time they will query the third story, for to them, that too is mysterious and fairy-like. They hadn't seen Santa or the Stork and had only heard about Jesus.

STORY OF THE HUMAN BABY

The story of the human baby may be told to any child of seven to ten years. Each mother will have to decide in her own mind the right time to go into the details of the human baby seed. The child should have had an opportunity to have planted some seeds in the ground, to have visited an incubator, or to have visited the farm and observed the family groups of babies—the chicks, pigs, calves, etc.—with their mothers.

Let me see now how many different baby seeds do we know? Yes, we do know the radish seeds, many flower seeds, chicken seeds, bird seeds, corn, potatoes, and many others, and we can tell them all apart. The boy and girl baby seeds are too tiny to be seen with the eye. They are so small that it takes about two hundred of them in a row to make one inch. We can only see these human baby seeds with the aid of a microscope. It is such a precious seed that it cannot be intrusted to the ground or to a tree nest for development. The great Wise Father decided that a mamma would love and care for it better than anything or anybody in all the world. So, just as there is a cradle bed in the mamma flower, so there is in the human mother's own warm body, tucked far away from the cold rains and the hot sun, a little bed, for the boy and girl baby seeds. Right near to this little seed bed Mother Nature has prepared a little room, which holds the tiny "waked up" seed for nearly a year as it slowly grows into a little baby girl or baby boy.

THE MATING STORY

You remember the story of how Bob Robin found Jenny Robin, don't you? You remember mamma told you how Bob came up from the southland early in the spring and asked Jenny in lovely bird song to come and be his very own wife? How he promised her he would feed her on cherries, and currants and the fattest of worms? And that she told Bob she loved him and went to live with him, and how they built that cute little nest to hold the eggs; and how Jenny Robin sat on the nest until the little baby robins were all hatched out.

Well, one day papa found mamma. He met her and loved her dearly and told her he wanted her to come and live with him, and they built their home nest and were very happy together, because they decided they would always love each other more than any one else in the world. After mamma and papa built their home and lived together, one day a wonderful change came to one of the baby seeds and it awakened and began to grow. Mother Nature whispered to it, and told it how to find its way into this little room and there it clung to the wall and grew for nearly a year. Papa brought mamma nice things to eat, just as Bob Robin did Jenny. Papa did everything he could to make mamma happy and comfortable.

For nearly five months this little seed just grew and did not let anybody know it was there, until one day it began to tap against the sides of the walls of this little room, and every time it did mamma's heart just bounded with joy as she thought of the precious seed growing to be a darling baby—and all inside of her very own body. And one day, after nearly a whole year had passed, the door to the room began to open, and, very soon, a lovely baby found its way out of this special room into the big, big world. Mother Nature then told this little baby that it might still remain close to the mamma it had been with so long, and so she taught it how to get its food every day from mamma's breast. At this point the child usually breaks out by saying, "Now, mamma, I know just why I love you so much."

UNFOLDING THE TRUTH

I shall always remember with pleasure my own son, not quite two-and-a-half years old, who sat at the table one day asking numerous questions such as, "Mamma, what is that? Mamma, where did that come from?" etc.

He picked up a navel orange, and pointing to the navel said, "What is that?"

I frankly said to him, "Why, my dear, that is the baby orange."

"Why, Mamma," he exclaimed, "do oranges come from oranges?"

"Certainly, dear child; where else could they come from?"

"But," he says, "Mamma, do potatoes come from potatoes?"

"Why, honey," I said, "Orange babies come from orange mammas, potato babies from potato mammas, grapes come from grape mammas, little kitties from kitty mammas, and little boys from their mammas."

We simply mixed all the babies up, just as you would mix up a delicious fruit salad. We took from the mind all question of mystery and surprise by quickly and honestly answering his question. Thus, his first knowledge of his origin, if he is able to recall it, will ever be associated with oranges, grapes, potatoes, kittens, etc.

We did not tell the whole story for some two or three years later, but day by day we simply answered the questions as he asked them.

One day, when he was about three, he burst into my bedroom, saying, "Mamma, dear, I did come from you, didn't I?"

"Why, yes, darling, from nobody else; just from your own mamma and papa."

"Say, mamma, was my hand in your hand, my foot in your foot, my head in your head?"

"No, dear," I replied, "You were all curled up as snug as a little kitty is when it's asleep, and you slept for nearly a year in a little room underneath mamma's heart."

It was a wonderful story. He threw his chubby arms about my neck, his legs around my waist, and said: "You dear, dear, mamma. I do love you and papa more, just awful much."

THE DOCTOR'S PART

In my private sitting-room, where William and I have had many conferences, there hangs my medical-class picture with classmates and faculty. A member of my family was one day answering the boy's queries as to who this one or that one was, etc. Finally, on pointing to one particular face, the answer came to his inquiry, "That's Dr. P. You wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him." That evening the little fellow, just past three years, came to me and asked, "Mamma, didn't you say I came from you?"

"Yes, dear," I replied.

"Well, Auntie says I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Dr. P. What did the doctor have to do with it?"

"Why, simply this, dear. The door to the little room in which you grew in mamma's body wouldn't open, and so kind Dr. P. came and helped open the door."

"And let me out?" exclaimed the eager child. "Oh, I want to go and see Dr. P. and thank him for helping me out!"

And this little fellow was neither shocked or surprised, any more than he was over finding out that orange babies came from orange mammas.

In the same frank manner in which the simpler questions are answered, strive to answer these important ones. If we seek to evade, to postpone, to wrap in mystery these sex questions, the little ones will not forget but will ponder and worry over them, and seek to obtain certain knowledge from others who oftentimes tell too much or too little, and such information is usually mixed with much unnecessary matter which may or may not be foreign to this particular subject. On the other hand, if we frankly and honestly answer the question at hand, curiosity is avoided and the child feels he understands it all. The subject drops into the background of his mind—into the marginal consciousness—with the countless other facts he has accumulated. A sense of "knowledge possession" is as comfortable to the child as it is to the adult.

TRUSTING YOUR CHILD

Often the question arises: "Will they tell to other children this newly found knowledge?" If the wise mother makes them feel they are a part of a "family," and reminds them that such matters as the secrets about Santa Claus, the stork, and the baby nest are only discussed in "family groups," they are often seized with the normal pride which accompanies confidence, and often keep secrets as well or even better than do most adults.

One day a little man, three-and-a-half years old, was posing for a photograph. The photographer said: "My little fellow, you pose well. We've had such a good time together. Where did they get such a lad as you?"

The mother's heart stood still. From her hiding place behind a large curtain at the back of the studio, she listened, wondering what would be his answer.

At first he hesitated, but after a moment's pause, said: "Really, Mr. W. if you don't know I feel sorry for you, and I'd really like to tell you, but I can't, it's a secret between me and my mamma."

Children enjoy secrets. If possible, isolate a group of subjects that are not to be discussed with playmates, such as Santa Claus facts, the stork story, and the baby story; often the very isolation of one single fact stands out so big in the child's mind that he is many times tempted to mention it, when, if it were associated with a whole group of "family secrets" he would seldom be led to talk about it. As we have said, children can keep secrets much better than most adults; and just suppose they should tell something—what harm? With twenty-five false stories in the neighborhood, suppose one story of truth should escape! No particular harm would result; but I find they keep these secrets well.

Numerous questions will arise which should be met with open frankness. No blush, no shame, should even suggest itself, for we are dealing with a wonderful truth, so let us give out our answers with clean hearts and pure minds. The Great Father will bless us and surround our loved "flock" with a garment of confidence in mother and father that will protect from much of the evil which is in the world, and, eventually, our little ones will grow into men and women whose very life of purity will cast its influence into the social circle. Only the company of the good and the true and the pure will be sought when associating with the opposite sex; while, in the end, better mothers and better fathers will be developed for the work of the next generation.

TEN POSSIBLE CAUSES OF SECRET VICE

1. The attention of the little folks is often drawn to the sexual organs by a sensation of itching which accompanies a state of uncleanliness and filth. The genitals must be kept scrupulously clean. Elsewhere in this book we paid our respects to the rubber diaper, and we wish to reiterate at this time that it is in all probability responsible for a great deal of masturbation. The constant moisture and heat keeps the genital organs in a state of congestion which is more or less accompanied by itching sensations.

2. A long or tight foreskin in the male child favors the accumulation of secretions which not only occasion itching sensations but oftentimes are the cause of convulsions in early infancy. In the case of the female, a tight foreskin over the clitoris will retain secretions which also cause an itching sensation.

3. Unscrupulous nurses sometimes actually teach these little fellows to masturbate.

4. Lying in bed on the back with a full bladder, in the case of the boy, often produces an erection of the penis, and this is usually accompanied by a feeling of fullness which serves to direct the mind to the genital organs.

5. Lying in bed alone with nothing to do but to investigate often results in secret vice.

6. The unwise practice of allowing children to visit each other over night and sleep together, is often productive of mischief.

7. Constantly telling a little girl to keep her feet down, to keep her dress down, makes her over conscious of sex and otherwise causes the attention to be directed in unhealthy channels.

8. Teasing a child unnecessarily about a little sweetheart often produces an emotional reaction which is not altogether desirable. These suggestions are especially bad in the older children.

9. Unwise sex knowledge is usually productive of curious investigations, which if not properly followed up, particularly in those children who are temperamentally secretive, and who do not fully confide in mother and father, often results in moral misdemeanors.

10. Do not allow two young children habitually to isolate themselves in their play. Direct their play away from the attic, the basement, and other places remote from direct observation.

There is no use telling a child not to touch that part of his body, particularly if it is a boy, for it is going to be absolutely impossible for him to carry out such instructions. One mother overheard her caretaker say, "Don't put your hand there, it isn't nice." Immediately the wise mother called the caretaker to her and reminded her that most children usually continue to investigate even though they are told not to, and so the caretaker received this instruction: "When you see Harry putting his hand to that particular part of his body, just gently draw it away and divert his attention to something else, and when he goes to sleep in his little bed teach him to lie on his side and bring his little hands up under his chin or the side of his face and remain near him telling him a beautiful story until the eyes begin to get sleepy and pick him up immediately on awaking in the morning."

This mother was quite unlike the mother who once came to my office, saying: "Doctor Lena, I have done everything to prevent my boy's handling himself, why every time he wakes up at night I am always awake and I instantly say to him, Charlie where are your hands? You see Doctor, I am doing the best I know how." Very likely it is unnecessary to call the attention of the reader to the fact that this mother was doing more harm than good in constantly calling his attention to the fact that he did have a sexual side to his nature.

TRUTH VS. EXAGGERATION

And just here let us add that while masturbation is an unclean habit, an impure habit, and a thing altogether to be shunned, we would not be honest to ourselves and to our readers if we did not explain that under no circumstances does it make foolish minds out of sound minds or insane minds out of sane minds. If your boy or your girl is going to grow up to be foolish or insane he had a through ticket for the feebleminded institution or the insane asylum when he was born into the world. The time when masturbation does affect the mind of the child is when the mind awakens to the fact that it is allowing an abnormal, unclean, or filthy habit to dominate mind, soul, and body, and then, and usually not until then, does this bad habit begin to cause mental depression and a host of other symptoms that so often accompany masturbation.

In our worthy efforts to combat the evils of secret vice let us not go to the other extreme and create such a condition of mind in the youth of our generation as to lay the foundation for sexual neurasthenia later on in life, as a result of the protracted worry, constant brooding, and conscientious condemnation, which they so often experience following some brief or trivial indulgence in early secret vice. Let us fight this vice with the truth, and not resort to over-exaggerated pictures which can only serve to blight the hopes and destroy the courage of over-sensitive boys and girls after they have grown up—as they look back on their lives and recall perhaps a single misstep in their childhood. In this way we can hope to do good today without mortgaging the child's happiness and mental peace in years to come.


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

Clyx.com


Top of Page
Top of Page