When Nancy in New York received the news of her mother's death she wore black instead of brown, and wept, and wept, and wept, as children weep for their mothers. Then she wore brown again, and went on living for Anne-Marie, as mothers live for their children. They had left Mrs. Schmidl's kindly, dingy roof, and moved a little further away from the niggers, into a small flat in 82nd Street. Mrs. Schmidl's niece, Minna, came and did the housework, and took Anne-Marie for walks. Anne-Marie loved Minna. Anne-Marie watched her with entranced gaze when she spoke to the tradesmen, and followed her from room to room when she swept and did the beds. Minna wore low-necked collars, and a little black velvet ribbon round her neck, and pink beads. She was beautiful in Anne-Marie's sight, and Anne-Marie imitated as much as possible her manner, her walk, and her language. Nancy could hear them talking together in the kitchen. Minna's voice: "What did you have for your tea? A butter-bread?" And Anne-Marie's piping treble: "Yes, two butter-breads mit sugar." Minna: "That's fine! To-morrow Tante Schmidl makes a cake, a good one. We eat it evenings." "A cake—a good one!" echoed Anne-Marie. Nancy's soul crumbled with mortification. She had taken out her manuscript, and it lay before her on the "A cake—a good one," repeated in the next room Anne-Marie, who liked the substantial German sound of that phrase. "Oh, my little girl! My little girl! How will she grow up?" And Nancy the mother took the ivory pen from Nancy the poet's hand, and Anne-Marie was called and kept, and taught, for the rest of the day. During the months that followed, Nancy played a game with her little daughter which, to a certain extent, was successful. "We will play that you are a little book of mine, that I have written. A pretty little book like Andersen's 'MÄrchen,' with the pictures in it. And in this book that I love——" "What colour is it?" asked Anne-Marie. "Pink, and white, and gold," said Nancy, kissing the child's shining hair. "Well, in it, in the midst of the loveliest fairy-tale, somebody has come and written dreadfully silly, ugly words, like—like 'butter-bread.' I must take all those out, mustn't I? And put pretty words and pretty thoughts in instead. Otherwise nobody will like to read the book." "No," said Anne-Marie, looking slightly dazed. "And will you put pictures in it?" "Oh yes," said Nancy. "And I wish I could put rhymes into it too." But that was not to be. Long explanations about Nancy coaxed and petted her. "Just you say a rhyme! Only one. Now what rhymes with day?" No. Anne-Marie did not know what rhymed with day. "Play, of course, my goosie dear! Now what rhymes with dear?" "Play," said Anne-Marie. "No; do think a little, sweetheart. With dear!—dear?" "Vegetables?" asked Anne-Marie, who had spent many hours in Frau Schmidl's kitchen. Nancy groaned. "Dear!" she repeated again. "Darling!" cried Anne-Marie triumphantly, and was lifted up and embraced. "I wish you were a poet, Anne-Marie!" said her mother, pushing the fair locks from the child's level brow. "What for?" said Anne-Marie, wriggling. "Poets never die," said Nancy, thus placing a picture in the fairy-tale book. "Then I'll be," said Anne-Marie, who knew death from having buried a dead kitten in the Schmidls' yard, and dug it up a day or two after to see what it was like. But Anne-Marie was not to be a poet. In the little pink and white books that mothers think they create, the Story is written before ever they reach the tender maternal hands. And Anne-Marie was not to be a poet. But Nancy herself could not forget that Fate had printed the seal of immortality upon her own girlish So she watched her little daughter through narrowed eyelids, throwing over the unconscious blonde head the misty veil of imagery, searching in the light blue eyes for the source of word and symbol, standing Anne-Marie like a little neoteric statue on the top of a sonnet, trying to fix her in some rare, archaic pose. But Anne-Marie was the child of her surroundings; Anne-Marie wore clothes of Minna's cutting and fitting, and on her yellow head a flat pink cotton hat like a lid. Anne-Marie had spoken Italian like a royal princess, but her German-American English was of 7th Avenue and 82nd Street. And Anne-Marie's pleasures were, as are those of every child, taken where she found them; for her no wandering in a shady garden, nursing an expensive, mellifluously-named doll. Since the Monte Carlo "Marguerite-Louise," whose eyes, attached to two small lumps of lead now lay in a box on a shelf, Anne-Marie's dolls had been numerous but unloved. At Mrs. Schmidl's suggestion, and for economic motives, Nancy had gone down town one day to a wholesale shop in Lower Broadway, where she had been able to buy "one dozen dolls, size nine, quality four, hair yellow, dress blue," for two dollars and seventy cents. The first of the dozen was the same evening presented to Anne-Marie. It was rapturously kissed; it was christened Hermina—Minna's name; its clotted yellow hair was combed; attempts were made to undress it, but as it did not undress, it was put to sleep as it was, and Anne-Marie went to bed carefully beside it. The other eight were given to her at once, and were hit, and hated, and stamped upon. For many nights Anne-Marie's dreams were peopled with dead and resuscitated Herminas—placid, smiling Herminas with no legs; booted Herminas with large pieces broken out of their cheeks; fearful Herminas all right in the back, but with darksome voids where their faces ought to be under the clotted yellow hair. She would have no more dolls, and her pleasures were taken where she found them mainly in the kitchen. She liked to wash dishes, because she was not allowed to; and she could be seen whisking a kitchen-towel under her arm in the brisk, important manner of Minna. She liked to see the butcher's man slap a piece of steak down on the table; and the laugh of the "coloured lady" who brought the washing was sweet in her ears. She also liked the piano that was played in the adjoining "Rose of my spirit, Fountain of my love, wrote Nancy, trying not to hear the climpering next door. "Minna! Minna! What is that tune?" called Anne-Marie, jumping from her chair. "Is it 'Eastside, Westside,' or 'Paradise Alley'?" "No, it ain't. It's 'Casey would waltz.'" "Oh, is it? Sing it. Do sing it, Minna." And from the kitchen came Minna's voice, a loud soprano: "Casey would waltz with the strawberry blonde, Then Anne-Marie's childish falsetto: "Casey would waltz with the strawberry blonde, Alas! even the cycle of child poems must wait until Nancy could afford a larger apartment, and a governess for the "lilial blue-veinÈd flower of her desire." There was no "Stimmung" for lyrics in the left-top flat in 82nd Street. Aldo was at home a good deal during the day-time, yawning, reading the interminable Sunday papers that lay about all the week, smoking cigarettes, and wishing they could afford this and that. In the evenings he went out. His work, it seemed, was to be done more in the evening than in the day-time, so he explained to Nancy. He explained very little to Nancy. Once he had brought home one hundred dollars instead of twenty, but she had been so startled and As soon as the little savings-bank book was placed in his hand, the Caracciolo grandfather awoke in him again, and murdered the lazzarone who cared not for the morrow. He became heedful of little things, grudging of little expenses. The dingy flat was run on the strictest principles of economy, and when a dollar could be taken up the steps of the savings-bank and put away, he was happy. He had learned that by making deep, grateful eyes at Minna over the accounts, she would keep expenses down to please him; and many were the lumps of sugar and bits of butter taken from Mrs. Schmidl's larder by Minna's fat, pink hand and placed, sacrificial offerings, on the Della Roccas' shabby table. Anne-Marie's pink hats and Minna-made frocks had to last through the seasons long after the "coloured lady" had washed every vestige of tint and vitality out of them, and they were a thorn in Nancy's eye. Nancy wore her pepper-and-salt dress day after day; it turned, and it dyed—black, and when it was no more, she got another like it. The days passed meanly and quickly. And Nancy learned that one can be dingy, and sordid, and poverty-stricken, and yet go on living, and gently drift down into The evenings only were terrible. When Minna had gone home, and Anne-Marie slept, and Aldo had sauntered out to meet some Italians, or had hurried in full evening-dress to his work, Nancy sat drearily in the "parlour." From mantelpiece, shelf, and what-not photographs of unknown people, friends of Mrs. Johnstone, the landlady, gazed at her with faded faces and in obsolete attire; actresses in boy's clothes, and large-faced children; chinless young men in turned-down collars; Mr. and Mrs. Johnstone in bridal attire; their first-born baby with no clothes on, now a clerk at Macy's. Hanging on the wall, with whitish eyes that followed Nancy about, was the enlarged photograph of dead Mr. Johnstone, and Nancy, in her loneliness, feared him. She covered him one evening with a table-cloth, but it was worse. When, on her arrival months ago, she had collected all these photographs and hidden them away in a closet, Mrs. Johnstone, who liked to drop in suddenly, had arrived, and looked round with a red face. "You don't want to do that," she had said, taking all the pictures out again and setting them up in their places. She also would not allow the large ornamental piano-lamp, that took up half the stuffy little room, to be moved. It had cost thirty-two dollars. So it stood there in the dark-carpeted, obscure parlour, and its yellow silk shade with the grimy white silk roses pinned on it was an outrage to Nancy's pained gaze. One evening at bed-time Anne-Marie said to her mother: "I like the girl next door." "You do not know her, darling," said Nancy. "Oh yes, I do. I talked to her from the back-window." "What is her name?" said Nancy, unfastening strings and buttons on her daughter's back. "Oh, she told me—I don't know. A little dry name like a cough." Nancy laughed and kissed the nape of Anne-Marie's neck, which was plump, and fair, and sweet to smell. At that moment the girl-neighbour knocked and came in, with a bear made of chocolate for Anne-Marie. Her name—the dry name like a cough—was Peggy. "I've just come in because I thought you seemed kind of lonesome," she said, looking round the parlour after Anne-Marie had been tucked in and left in the adjoining bedroom with the door ajar. She then told Nancy that she worked in a hairdresser's shop down Broadway, "mostly fixing nails." "Sickening work," she added. "All those different hands I have to keep holding kind of turns me. Especially women's!" Nancy laughed. Peggy offered to fix her nails for nothing, and after some hesitation Nancy allowed her to do so. "My! you have hands quite like a lady," said Peggy; and the cup of Nancy's bitterness was full. Nancy quickly changed the subject. "Is it you who play the piano?" she asked. "No, my brother. He works in a shipping office. But he is great on music." At this point Anne-Marie's voice was heard from the adjoining room: "What is that piece that was lovely?" Peggy laughed, but could not say which piece Anne-Marie meant. After a while she went to call her brother, who came in, lanky and diffident, and was introduced as "George." Anne-Marie kept calling from her room But "the piece that was lovely" was not among them. Peggy and Nancy said: "She probably dreamt it." But Anne-Marie cried "No, no, no!" at the first note of every piece that was started. At last she wept, and was naughty and rude, and the bear's hindlegs, which she had not yet eaten, were taken away from her. Peggy and George were very friendly, and promised to call again. They lived alone. Their parents had a sheep ranch in Dakota. "Rotten place," said George. "New York is good enough for me." And they shook hands and left. After that, when Mr. Johnstone frightened Nancy more than usual, she knocked at the wall in Anne-Marie's room with a hair-brush, and Peggy came in, and spent a friendly evening with her. Sometimes George came, too, and read the magazine supplements of the Sunday papers aloud. George read all the poems. "He's a great one for poetry," said his sister. George passed his manicured fingers through his thin hair, and looked self-conscious. "I guess all the real poets are dead long ago," he said. "I fear so," said Nancy. "Mamma!" came Anne-Marie's voice, distinct and wide-awake, through the half-open door. "Yes, dear," said Nancy. "Good-night." "Mamma!" cried Anne-Marie. "Come here." Nancy rose and went to her. Anne-Marie was sitting up in bed. "What did he say?" Nancy did not know. "He said the poets were dead. All the real ones. You said poets could never die." Nancy sat down on the bed, and pressed the little fair head to her heart. "I will tell you about that to-morrow," she said. "And you must not listen to what is said in another room. It is not honourable." After a long explanation of what "honourable" meant, Nancy rose and kissed her. "You had better shut the door," said Anne-Marie. "One can't be honourable if one can be not." So the door was closed. Early next morning Anne-Marie inquired about the poets. "Well," said Nancy, who had forgotten about it, and was taken unawares. She spoke slowly, making up her story as she went on, and trying to put another picture in the little book of Anne-Marie's mind. "Once the world was full of roses, and poets lived for ever." "Yes," said Anne-Marie. "Then one day some people said to God: 'There are too many useless things in the world. Roses, for instance. We could do without them, and have vegetables instead.' So God took away the roses. And all the poets died." "What of?" "Of silence," said Nancy. "They died because they had nothing more to say." Anne-Marie looked very sad. Nancy made haste to comfort her. "Then God put a few roses back, for little Anne-Maries who don't like vegetables (which is very naughty "But not the real ones?" "Well, not quite real ones, perhaps," said Nancy. "Then what is the good of them?" asked Anne-Marie. Nancy could not say. Nancy could not say what was the good of not quite real poets. But for that matter, what was the good of the real ones? What was the good of anything? Nancy's thoughts went in drooping file to her own work. What was the good of writing a Book? "I need not have written any story at all," she said to herself. Perhaps that is what God will say when the dead worlds come rolling in at his feet, at the end of Eternity. |