Said Tommy Tadpole to his Ma,
"I wish I were a frog!
Then I could make a great big noise,
And sit upon a log!"
"You'll find, my dear," his mother said,
"More things than noise and log
Complete the sum of daily life
When you've become a frog."

---

A GOOD PLAN.

"Bobbie," said Tom, "let you and I go into business."

"What business?" asked Bobbie.

"Oh, I don't care," said Tom. "I'll be senior partner, and you be head clerk and attend the business."

---

A GOOD TERM.

"Hoh," said Wilbur, when Wallie wanted to swap an American two-cent stamp for a silver shilling, "you're pretty mumpy, I think."

"Mumpy?" asked Wallie. "What's mumpy?"

"When your cheek gets big," said Wilbur.

---

A HARD QUESTION TO ANSWER.

"Papa," said Arthur, "I read somewhere that people became what they ate."

"So it is said, my son."

"Then why don't cannibals become missionaries, papa?"

---

A DISPUTE.

"Did you see how that bull tossed his head?" asked Mollie.

"No," said Allie. "I saw him shake it. He didn't toss it."

"Yes, he did," said Mollie.

"Where did he toss it to?" asked Allie. "I didn't see it land anywhere."

---

HARD TO RESIST.

"Billie," said little Tommie, "won't you come and play with me?"

"You're too little, Tommie," said Billie. "I couldn't play anything with you."

"I'll be anything, Billie," pleaded Tommie. "I'll roll myself up into a ball, and maybe you'll have a splendid time bouncing me about."

---

WHERE THE WINDOWS GOT THEIR NAMES.

It was a very blustery day. The breeze from the sea was so strong that it blew in one or two panes of glass, and brought down the curtains with a clatter to the floor.

"I see now," said little Harry, "why they call windies windies."

---

A BOUNCER.

"What a splendid jumper your little dog is, Sammie," said Mr. Hicks.

"Well, he ought to be," said Sammie. "He swallowed a rubber ball last week."

---

Floods in lowland countries have their humorous side as well as their tragic ones. A gentleman recently returned from the West relates a little experience he had with a swollen river in Missouri. The country had been a veritable swamp for some days, and after travelling through it on horseback for a week doing business here and there, he says he arrived at the bank of the river. There was no way to cross it except by swimming, so, dismounting, he tied his clothes to the horse, and drove him into the river, swimming after him. Reaching the other side, he dressed and continued on his way. Before going twenty feet, however, he came to the forks of the road, and not knowing the correct direction he wanted to go, he looked around for a sign. There was none, but just across the river, near the spot he had entered to swim across, he saw a board nailed on a tree. Well, there was nothing to do but to get in and swim across again, as undoubtedly that was the sign containing the directions. He swam across, and after climbing up the bank he read the following notice:

"Five dollars fine for crossing this bridge faster than a walk."

He says that under the circumstances the sarcasm of that sign put him in bad humor for the rest of the day.

---

In the rush and crush of business in the general post-office the other day an Irishman's answer was heard that is worth repeating. It was at the general-delivery window, and the Irishman was poor, and a typical son of the sod. He had applied for a letter.

"Letter? All right, sir. What name?"

The Irishman gave his name, but the clerk, not catching it, asked,

"How do you spell it?"

"Spell it!" answered the Irishman. "Shure, if a foine smart clerk loike you can't spell it, how d'ye think a poor man loike me can?"

---

THE TERRIBLE PLIGHT OF THE WISE MAN.

There was a man in our town
Who was so wondrous wise
That nobody dared speak to him;
And so he winked his eyes,
And said, "I don't know anything,
But all these people here
Are so afraid, they dare not speak,
And call me sage and seer;
"But, oh, if some one should forget,
And speak to me some day,
I really haven't an idea
Of what I then should say!"
And so this sage pretended that
His temper was most vile,
And people, when they met him,
Turned and ran away a mile.
And so it is unto this day—
He's magnified in size,
So that though he knows nothing,
All the town folks think him wise.
J.K.B.

---

THE BEST OF ALL.

"What are you going to be when you are a man, Jack?" asked Uncle George.

"A man," said Jack.