Mr. Punch and his wife
Led a terrible life,
Very much like a dog and a cat;
Till, one summer morn
A baby was born,
A darling all dimples and fat.
PUNCH, JUDY, AND THE BABY. PUNCH, JUDY, AND THE BABY.
Mrs. Judy was proud,
And the nurses allowed
That they never had seen such a child;
And the proud mother thought
When her baby she brought
To her husband, “It must make him mild.”
PUNCH AND THE BABY. PUNCH AND THE BABY.
Mr. Punch was quite pleased;
The poor baby he seized,
And danced up and down in great joy.
“Oh, my Judy,” he cried,
"With a father's just pride,
I look on our beautiful boy.”
But the baby soon cried;
Punch's temper was tried,
And in a great passion he flew;
He shook the poor child,
And, with rage growing wild,
The babe o'er the balcony threw.
Judy, greatly displeased,
A thick stick at once seized,
And began her stern husband to beat;
“O you monster,” she cried,
As her weapon she plied,
“You deserve the same ending to meet.”
PUNCH AND JUDY. PUNCH AND JUDY.
On his arms and his head
Her blows fell like lead;
She wonder'd such treatment he stood!
Beating and battering,
She made such a clattering,
It sounded like chopping up wood.
PUNCH KILLS JUDY. PUNCH KILLS JUDY.
Of his beating quite tired,
Punch's patience expired;
He snatched the stick out of her hands,
And gave Judy a blow
Which, alas, laid her low,
And above her a conqueror stands.
Then he danced and he sang,
And such nonsense began,
That we laughed, though we couldn't tell why;
For in such a sad case
It were much more our place
For Judy's misfortunes to cry.
PUNCH AND THE CONSTABLE. PUNCH AND THE CONSTABLE.
But the constable see!—
“Are you come here for me?”
Cries Punch, as he dances about.
"Yes, yes; come to jail,
'Tis a terrible tale,”
Said the constable, "you must come out,
"And be tried for your life,
For thus killing your wife;
In prison, meantime, you'll abide.”
“Oh no, I won't go,”
Cried Punch, and a blow
He gave the poor man in his side.
PUNCH, TOBY, AND THE CLOWN. PUNCH, TOBY, AND THE CLOWN.
Now Punch had a pet
Whom we must not forget,
A dog known as Toby by name;
A clown from a show
One day came to know
If Punch would not sell him the same.
But Punch would not part
From his dog, for his heart
(Though a wooden one) to him was true.
He cried, "Give me a kiss,
Dear Toby, I wis
I never will sever from you.”
PUNCH AND THE DOCTOR. PUNCH AND THE DOCTOR.
But Jack Ketch comes at last;
Punch's frolics are past,
There is no one his cause to befriend;
His nonsense and fun
Are all, alas, done;
He has come to a very bad end!
If he were not of wood
It would not be good
To laugh at the harm he has done;
But 'twas only pretence,
And there was not much sense
In his crimes, or his grief, or his fun.
PUNCH AND JACK KETCH. PUNCH AND JACK KETCH.
For a great many years,
Punch's laughter and tears,
Have amused both the child and the man;
So I think at the last,
For the sake of the past
We will keep him as long as we can.
