Liza had a separate little room, on the second story of her mother's house, small, clean, bright, with a white bed, pots of flowers in the corners and in front of the holy pictures, with a tiny writing-table, a case of books, and a crucifix on the wall. This little chamber was called the nursery; Liza had been born in it. On returning to it from church, where she had seen LavrÉtzky, she put everything in order, even more carefully than usual, wiped the dust off everything, looked over and tied up with ribbons her note-books and the letters of her friends, locked all the drawers, watered the plants, and touched every flower with her hand. She did all this without haste, without noise, with a certain touched and tranquil solicitude on her face. She halted, at last, in the middle of the room, slowly looked around her, and stepping up to the table over which hung the crucifix, she knelt down, laid her head on her clasped hands, and remained motionless. MÁrfa TimofÉevna entered, and found her in this position. Liza did not notice her entrance. The old woman went outside the door, on tiptoe, and gave vent to several loud coughs. Liza "I see that thou hast been arranging thy little cell again,"—said MÁrfa TimofÉevna, and bent low over a pot containing a young rose-bush:—"what a splendid perfume it has!" Liza gazed thoughtfully at her aunt. "What a word you have uttered!"—she whispered. "What sort of a word, what word?"—interposed the old woman, vivaciously;—"what dost thou mean?—This is dreadful,"—she said, suddenly tearing off her cap, and seating herself on Liza's bed:—"this is beyond my strength! today is the fourth day that I seem to be seething in a kettle; I can no longer pretend that I notice nothing,—I cannot see thee growing pale, withering away, weeping,—I cannot, I cannot!" "Why, what is the matter with you, aunty?"—said Liza:—"I am all right...." "All right?"—exclaimed MÁrfa TimofÉevna:—"tell that to others, but not to me! All right! But who was it that was on her knees just now? whose eyelashes are still wet with tears? All right! Why, look at thyself, what hast thou done to thy face, what has become of thine eyes?—All right! As though I did not know all!" "It will pass off, aunty; give me time." "It will pass off, but when? O Lord God, my Master! is it possible that thou didst love him "I tell you, that it will all pass off, it is all over already." "Listen, LÍzotchka, to what I have to say to thee,"—said MÁrfa TimofÉevna, suddenly, making Liza sit down beside her on the bed, and adjusting now her hair, now her kerchief.—"It only seems to you, while it is fresh, that your grief is beyond remedy. Ekh, my darling, for death alone there is no remedy! Only say to thyself: 'I won't give in—so there now!' and afterward thou wilt be amazed thyself—how soon, how well, it will pass off. Only have patience." "Aunty,"—replied Liza:—"it is already past, all is over already." "Past—over—forsooth! Why, even thy little nose has grown pointed, and thou sayest: 'It is over—it is over!'" "Yes, it is over, aunty, if you will only help me,"—cried Liza, with sudden animation, and threw herself on MÁrfa TimofÉevna's neck.—"Dear aunty, be my friend, help me; do not be angry, understand me." "Why, what is this, what is this, my mother? Don't frighten me, please; I shall scream in another "I ... I want ..." Liza hid her face in MÁrfa TimofÉevna's bosom.... "I want to enter a convent,"—she said, in a dull tone. The old woman fairly leaped on the bed. "Cross thyself, my mother, LÍzotchka; come to thy senses: God be with thee, what dost thou mean?"—she stammered at last: "lie down, my darling, sleep a little: this comes from lack of sleep, my dear." Liza raised her head, her cheeks were burning. "No, aunty,"—she articulated, "do not speak like that. I have made up my mind, I have prayed, I have asked counsel of God; all is ended, my life with you is ended. Such a lesson is not in vain; and it is not the first time I have thought of this. Happiness was not suited to me; even when I cherished hopes of happiness, my heart was always heavy. I know everything, my own sins and the sins of others, and how papa acquired his wealth; I know everything. All that must be atoned for by prayer—atoned for by prayer. I am sorry for all of you—I am sorry for mamma, for LyÉnotchka; but there is no help for it; I feel that I cannot live here; I have already taken leave of everything, I have made my reverence to everything in the house for the last time; something is calling me hence; I am weary; I want to shut myself up forever. Do not hold MÁrfa TimofÉevna listened in terror to her niece. "She is ill, she is raving,"—she thought:—"I must send for a doctor; but for which? GedeÓnovsky was praising some one the other day; he's always lying,—but, perhaps, he told the truth that time." But when she became convinced that Liza was not ill, and was not raving, when to all her objections Liza steadfastly made one and the same reply, MÁrfa TimofÉevna became seriously frightened and grieved.—"But thou dost not know, my darling,"—she began to try to prevail upon her;—"what sort of a life they lead in convents! Why, my own one, they will feed thee with green hemp-oil; they will put on thee coarse, awfully coarse linen; they will make thee go about cold; thou canst not endure all that, LÍzotchka. All that is the traces of AgÁfya in thee; it was she who led thee astray. Why, she began by living her life, living a gay life; do thou live thy life also. Let me, at least, die in peace, and then do what thou wilt. And who ever heard of any one going into a convent, all on account of such a goat's beard—the Lord forgive me!—on account of a man? Come, if thy heart is so heavy, go away on a journey, pray to a saint, have a prayer-service said, but don't put And MÁrfa TimofÉevna began to weep bitterly. Liza comforted her, wiped away her tears, but remained inflexible. In her despair, MÁrfa TimofÉevna tried to resort to threats: she would tell Liza's mother everything; but even that was of no avail. Only as a concession to the old woman's urgent entreaties, did Liza consent to defer the fulfilment of her intention for six months; in return, MÁrfa TimofÉevna was compelled to give her her word that she would help her, and obtain the permission of MÁrya DmÍtrievna if, at the end of six months, she had not changed her mind. With the advent of the first cold weather, VarvÁra PÁvlovna, despite her promise to shut herself up in the depths of the country, after providing herself with money, removed to Petersburg, where she hired a modest but pretty apartment, which had been found for her by PÁnshin, who had quitted the Government of O*** before her. During the latter part of his sojourn in O*** he had completely fallen out of favour with MÁrya DmÍtrievna; he had suddenly ceased to call upon her and hardly ever quitted LavrÍki. VarvÁra PÁvlovna had enslaved him, precisely LavrÉtzky passed the winter in Moscow, but in the spring of the following year the news reached him that Liza had entered the B*** convent, in one of the most remote corners of Russia. EPILOGUE Eight years have passed. Spring has come again.... But first, let us say a few words about the fate of MikhalÉvitch, PÁnshin, Mme. LavrÉtzky—and take our leave of them. MikhalÉvitch, after long peregrinations, has finally hit upon his real vocation: he has obtained the post of head inspector in a government institution. He is very well satisfied with his lot, and his pupils "adore" him, although they mimic him. PÁnshin has advanced greatly in rank, and already has a directorship in view; he walks with his back somewhat bent: it must be the cross of the Order of VladÍmir, which has been conferred upon him, that drags him forward. The official in him has, decidedly, carried the day over the artist; his still youthful face has turned quite yellow, his hair has grown thin, and he no longer sings or draws, but secretly occupies himself with literature: he has written a little comedy, in the nature of "a proverb,"—and, as every one who writes nowadays "shows up" some one or something, he has shown up in it a coquette, and he reads it surreptitiously to two or three ladies who are favourably disposed toward him. But So ... eight years have passed. Again the sky is breathing forth the beaming happiness of spring; again it is smiling upon the earth and upon men; again, beneath its caress, everything has burst into blossom, into love and song. The town of O*** has undergone very little change in the course of those eight years; but MÁrya DmÍtrievna's house seems to have grown young: its recently painted walls shine as in welcome, and the panes of the open windows are crimsoning and glittering in the rays of the setting sun. Through these windows, out upon the street, are wafted the sounds of ringing young voices, of incessant laughter; the whole house seems bubbling with life, and overflowing the brim with merriment. The mistress of the house herself has long since gone to her grave: MÁrya DmÍtrievna died two years after Liza's profession as a nun; and MÁrfa TimofÉevna did not long survive her niece; they rest side by side in the town cemetery. NastÁsya KÁrpovna, also, is dead; the faithful old woman went, every week, for the space of several years, to pray over the ashes of her friend.... Her time came, and her bones also were laid in the damp earth. But MÁrya DmÍtrievna's house has not passed into the hands of strangers, has not left her family; the On the evening of which we are speaking, the inhabitants of the KalÍtin house (the oldest of them, LyÉnotchka's betrothed, was only four and "I am LavrÉtzky,"—said the visitor. A vigorous shout rang out in response—and not because all these young people were so extremely "But it is a long time since we have seen you,"—remarked LyÉnotchka, ingenuously:—"and we have not seen VarvÁra PÁvlovna either." "I should think so!"—interposed her brother, hurriedly. "I carried thee off to Petersburg, but FeÓdor IvÁnitch lived in the country all the time." "Yes, and mamma has died since, you know." "And MÁrfa TimofÉevna,"—said SchÚrotchka. "And NastÁsya KÁrpovna,"—rejoined LyÉnotchka.—"And M'sieu Lemm...." "What? And is Lemm dead also?"—asked LavrÉtzky. "Yes,"—replied young KalÍtin:—"he went away from here to Odessa—they say that some one decoyed him thither; and there he died." "You do not know—whether he left any music behind him?" "I don't know,—it is hardly probable." All fell silent, and exchanged glances. A cloud of sadness had descended upon all the young faces. "And MatrÓska is alive,"—suddenly remarked LyÉnotchka. "And GedeÓnovsky is alive,"—added her brother. At the name of GedeÓnovsky a vigorous peal of laughter rang out in unison. "Yes, he is alive, and lies just as he always did,"—went on MÁrya DmÍtrievna's son:—"and just imagine, that naughty child there" (and he pointed at his wife's sister, the Institute-girl) "put pepper in his snuff-box yesterday." "How he did sneeze!" exclaimed LyÉnotehka:—and again a peal of irrepressible laughter rang out. "We received news of Liza recently,"—said young KalÍtin,—and again everything grew still round about:—"things are well with her,—her health is now improving somewhat." "Is she still in the same convent?"—asked LavrÉtzky, not without an effort. "Yes, still in the same place." "Does she write to you?" "No, never; the news reaches us through other people."—A sudden, profound silence ensued. "The angel of silence has flown past," all said to themselves. "Would not you like to go into the garden?"—KalÍtin turned to LavrÉtzky:—"it is very pretty now, although we have rather neglected it." LavrÉtzky went out into the garden, and the first thing that struck his eyes was the bench on which he had once spent with Liza a few happy moments, never to be repeated; it had grown black and crooked; but he recognised it, and his soul was seized by that feeling which has no peer in sweetness and in sorrow,—the feeling of living grief for vanished youth, for happiness which it once possessed. In company with the young people, he strolled through the alleys: the linden-trees had not grown much older and taller during the last eight years, but their shade had become more dense; on the other hand, all the shrubs had sprung upward, the raspberry-bushes had waxed strong, the hazel copse had become "What a good place this would be to play at puss-in-the-corner,"—suddenly cried LyÉnotchka, as they entered a small, verdant glade, hemmed in by lindens:—"by the way, there are five of us." "And hast thou forgotten FeÓdor IvÁnitch?"—her brother observed to her.... "Or art thou not reckoning in thyself?" LyÉnotchka blushed faintly. "But is it possible that FeÓdor IvÁnitch, at his age, can..."—she began. "Please play,"—interposed LavrÉtzky, hastily:—"pay no heed to me. It will be all the more agreeable to me if I know that I am not embarrassing you. And there is no need for you to bother about me; we old fellows have occupations of which you, as yet, know nothing, and which no diversion can replace: memories." The young people listened to LavrÉtzky with courteous and almost mocking respect,—exactly as though their teacher were reading them a lesson,—and suddenly all of them flew away from him, and ran over the glade; four of them took up their stand near the trees, one stood in the centre,—and the fun began. But LavrÉtzky returned to the house, went into the dining-room, approached the piano, and touched one of the keys: a faint, but pure sound LavrÉtzky emerged from the house into the garden: he seated himself on the familiar bench—and in that dear spot, in the face of the house, where he had, on the last occasion, stretched out his hands in vain to the fatal cup in which seethes and sparkles the wine of delight,—he, a solitary, homeless wanderer,—to the sounds of the merry cries of the younger generation which had already superseded him,—took a survey of his life. His heart was sad, but not heavy and not very sorrowful: he had nothing which he had need to regret or be ashamed of. "Play on, make merry, grow on, young forces,"—he thought, and there was no bitterness in his meditations:—"life lies before you, and it will be easier for you to live: you will not be compelled, as we have been, to seek your road, to struggle, to fall, and to rise to your feet again amid the gloom; we have given ourselves great trouble, that we might remain whole,—and how many of us have failed in that!—but you must do deeds, work,—and the blessing of old fellows like me be upon you. But all that LavrÉtzky rose softly, and softly went away; no one noticed him, no one detained him; the merry cries resounded more loudly than ever in the garden behind the green, dense wall of lofty lindens. He seated himself in his tarantÁs, and ordered the coachman to drive home, and not to press the horses hard. "And the end?" perchance some dissatisfied reader will say. "And what became of LavrÉtzky? of Liza?" But what can one say about people who are still alive, but who have already departed from the earthly arena,—why revert to them? They say that LavrÉtzky paid a visit to that distant convent where Liza had hidden herself—and saw her. In going from one choir to the other, she passed close to him—passed with the even, hurriedly-submissive gait of a nun—and did not cast a glance at him; only the lashes of the eye which was turned toward him trembled almost imperceptibly, and her haggard face was bowed a little lower than usual—and the fingers of her clasped hands, interlaced with her rosary, The trotter as shaft-horse, and the galloping side-horses of a troÏka.—Translator. |