CHAPTER X.

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The travellers visit a gentleman farmer, who is a great projector: his breed of cattle: his apparatus for cooking: he is taken dangerously ill.

After we had gone about half a mile farther, our attention was arrested by a gate of very singular character. It was extremely ingenious in its structure, and, among other peculiarities, it had three or four latches, for children, for grown persons, for those who were tall and those who were short, and for the right hand as well as the left. In the act of opening, it was made to crush certain berries, and the oil they yielded, was carried by a small duct to the hinge, which was thus made to turn easily, and was prevented from creaking. While we were admiring its mechanism, an elderly man, rather plainly dressed, on a zebra in low condition, rode up, and showed that he was the owner of the mansion to which the gate belonged, and that he was not displeased with the curiosity we manifested. We found him both intelligent and obliging. He informed us that he was an experimental farmer; and when he learnt that we were strangers, and anxious to inform ourselves of the state of agriculture in the country, he very civilly invited us to take our next meal with him. Our walk having now made us hungry and fatigued, we gladly accepted of his hospitality; whereupon he alighted, and walked with us to his lodgings.

He was very communicative of his modes of cultivation and management, but chiefly prided himself on his success in improving the size of his cattle. He informed us that he had devoted sixteen years of his life to this object, and had then in his farm-yard a buffalo nearly as heavy as three of the ordinary size. His practice was to kill all the young animals which were not uncommonly large and thrifty; to cram those he kept, with as much food as they would eat, and to tempt their appetites by the variety of their nourishment, as well as of the modes of preparing it.

"All this," said he, "costs a great deal, it is true; but I am paid for it by the additional price." I was struck with this notable triumph of industry and skill in the goodly art of husbandry—that art which I venerate above every other; and I was all anxiety to receive from him some instructions which I might, in case I should have the good fortune to get safely back, communicate to my friends on Long-Island, who had never been able even to double the common size, and who boasted greatly of that: but a hesitating look, and a few inquiries on the part of my sly friend, checked my enthusiasm.

"Have you always," he asked, "had the same number of acres in grain and grass under your new and old system?"

"Pretty nearly," says the other. "My new breed, however, though fewer, consume more than their predecessors."

"How many head did you formerly sell in a year?"

"About thirty."

"How many do you now sell?"

"Though for some years I have not sold more than nine or ten, I expect to exceed that number in another year."

"Which you expect will yield you more than the thirty did formerly?"

"Certainly; because such meat as mine commands an extraordinary price."

"So long," replied the Brahmin, "as this is novelty, you may receive a part of the price which men are ever ready to pay for it; but as soon as others profit by your example, your meat falls to the ordinary rate, and then, if I understand you aright, as you will have somewhat less in quantity than you formerly had, your gross receipts will be less, to say nothing of your additional labour and expense."

"But who has the skill," quickly rejoined the other, "of which I can boast? and who would take the same trouble, although they had the skill?"

"But stop here a moment," said our host, "till I go to see how my last improved oil-cake is relished by my cattle."

The Brahmin then turning to me, said,—"This gentleman may, indeed, improve his fortune by the business of a grazier; but the same pains and unremitting attention would always be sure of a liberal reward, though the system on which they were exerted was not among the best. Nothing, my dear Atterley, is more true than the saying of your wise book—that all flesh is grass; and it always takes the same quantity of one to make a given quantity of the other, whether that given quantity may be in the form of a single individual, or two or three. But in the former case, great labour is required to force nature beyond her ordinary limits, and the same labour must be unceasingly kept up, or she will certainly relapse to her original dimensions. This system may do, as our host here tells us it actually does, for the moon, but it is not suited to our earth. If, however, you are ambitious of a name among the speculative men of your country, this little stone," added he, stooping, and picking up a small stone from the ground, "will answer your purpose quite as well as any improvement in husbandry. It is precisely of the same species as those which we threw over in our aerial voyages, and which, though correctly called moon-stones by the vulgar, (who are oftener right than the learned suppose,) some of the western philosophers declared to have been gravitated in the atmosphere."

"And is this really the origin," said I, "of that strange phenomenon, which has furnished so much matter of speculation to the sages both of Europe and America?"

"Nothing is more true," replied he. "These stones are common to the earth and to the moon; and some of those which have been so carefully analyzed by your most celebrated chemists, and pronounced different from any known mineral production of the earth, were small fragments of a very common rock in the mountains of Burma. In our first voyages we had taken some of them with us as ballast; and those which we first threw over, we afterwards learnt from the public journals, fell in France, some of the others fell in India, but the greater number in the ocean. Those which have fallen at other times, have been real fossils of the moon, and either such stones as this I hold in my hand, or such metallic substances as are repelled from that body, and attracted towards the earth; and it is the force with which they strike the earth, which first suggested the idea of a thunder-bolt.

"Our party were greatly amused at the disputations of a learned society in Europe, in which they undertook to give a mathematical demonstration that they could not be thrown from a volcano of the earth, nor from the moon, but were suddenly formed in the atmosphere. I should as soon believe that a loaf of bread could be made and baked in the atmosphere."

Finding that our landlord prided himself on his interior management, as well as on that without doors, we expressed a wish to see some of his household improvements. He readily consented, and conducted us at once into his kitchen, and showed us inventions and contrivances out of number, for saving fuel, and meat, and labour; in short, for saving every thing but money. The large room into which he carried us, appeared as a vast laboratory, from the infinite variety of pots, pans, skillets, knives, forks, ladles, mortars, sieves, funnels, and other utensils of metal, glass, pottery, and wood. The steam which he used for cooking, was carried along a pipe under a succession of kettles and boilers, descending in regular gradation, by which a great saving of fuel was effected; and, to perfect this part of the apparatus, the pipe could be removed, to give place to one of the size suited to the occasion.

His seven-guest pipe was now in use. The wood, which was all cut to the same length, and channelled out to admit the free passage of the air, was then duly placed in the stove, and set on fire; but the heat not passing very readily through all the sinuosities of the pipe, he ordered his head cook to screw on his exhauster. The man, in less than ten minutes, unscrewed a plate at the farther end, and fixed on an air-pump, made for the purpose, on which the door of the stove suddenly slammed to. Our host saw the accident, and hurrying to open the stove, fell over a heap of channelled logs, and cut a gash in his forehead. The cook ran to help him up; and after he was on his legs, and his forehead wiped, the stove was opened, when the fire, which had been deprived of its aliment, was entirely extinguished. I thought he was hardly sorry for the accident, as it afforded him an occasion of showing how ingeniously he kindled a fire. He had an electric machine brought to him, by means of which he set fire to a few grains of gunpowder; this lighted some tinder, which again ignited spirits, whose blaze reached the lower extremity of his lamp. Taking the precaution of keeping the stove open this time, the air was again exhausted at the farther end of the pipe, and in a little time the flame was seen to ascend even to the air-pump, and to scorch the parts made of wood; whereupon I saw a glow of triumph on his face, which amply compensated him for his wound and vexation. There was a grand machine for roasting, that carried the fire round the meat, the juices of which, he said, by a rotary motion, would be thrown to the surface, and either evaporate or be deteriorated. Here was also his digestor, for making soup of rams' horns, which he assured me contained a good deal of nourishment, and the only difficulty was in extracting it. He next showed us his smoke-retractor, which received the smoke near the top of the chimney, and brought it down to be burnt over again, by which he computed that he saved five cords and a half of wood in a year. The fire which dressed his victuals, pumped up, by means of a steam engine, water for the kitchen turned one or more spits, as well as two or three mills for grinding pepper, salt, &c.; and then, by a spindle through the wall, worked a churn in the dairy, and cleaned the knives: the forks, indeed, were still cleaned by hand; but he said he did not despair of effecting this operation in time, by machinery. I mentioned to him our contrivance of silver forks, to lessen this labour; but he coldly remarked, that he imagined science was in its infancy with us.

He informed us that he had been ten years in completing this ingenious machine; and certainly, when it was in full operation, I never saw exultation and delight so strongly depicted in any human face. The various sounds and sights, that met the ear and eye, in rapid succession, still farther worked on his feelings, and heightened his raptures. There was such a simmering, and hissing, and bubbling of boiled, and broiled, and fried—such a whirling, and jerking, and creaking of wheels, and cranks, and pistons—such clouds of steam, and vapours, and even smoke, notwithstanding all of the latter that was burnt,—that I almost thought myself in some great manufactory.

After having suffered as much as we could well bear, from the heat and confined air of this laboratory of eatables, and passed the proper number of compliments on the skill and ingenuity they displayed, we ascended to his hall, to partake of that feast, to prepare which we had seen all the elements and the mechanical powers called into action. There were a few of his city acquaintances present, besides ourselves: but whether it was owing to the effect of the steam from the dishes on our stomachs, or that this scientific cookery was not suited to our unpractised palates, I know not, but we all made an indifferent repast, except our host, who tasted every dish, and seemed to relish them all.

After sitting some time at table, conversing on the progress of science, its splendid achievements, and the pleasing prospects which it yet dimly showed in the future, our hospitable entertainer, perceiving we were fatigued with the labours of the day, invited us to take our next lallaneae, or sleep, with him, for which hospitality we felt very grateful. We were then shown to a room, in which there were marks of the same fertile invention, in saving labour and promoting convenience; but we were too sleepy to take much notice of them. Our beds were filled with air, which is quite as good as feathers, except that when the leather covering gets a hole in it, from ripping, or other accidents, it loses its elasticity with its air—an accident which happened to me this very night; for a mouse having gnawed the leather where the housemaid's greasy fingers had left a mark, I sunk gently down, not to soft repose, but on the hard planks, where I uncomfortably lay until the bell warned us to rise for breakfast.

As soon as I was dressed, I walked out into a large garden, and, as the sun was not yet so high as to make it sultry, was enjoying the balmy sweetness of the air, and the flowering shrubs, which in beauty and fragrance almost exceeded those of India, when I saw a servant run by the garden wall, enter the stable, and bring out a zebra. On inquiring the cause, I was made to understand that our noble host was taken suddenly ill. I immediately returned to the house, and found the domestics running to and fro, and manifesting the greatest anxiety, as well as hurry, in their looks. I went into the Brahmin's room, and found him dressed. He went out, and after some time, informed me that our kind host had a violent cholera morbus, in consequence of the various kinds of food with which he had overloaded his stomach at dinner; that he considered himself near his last end, and was endeavouring to arrange his affairs for the event.

I could not help meditating on the melancholy uncertainty of human life, when I contrasted the comforts, the pleasures, the pride of conscious usefulness and genius felt by this gentleman a short time since, with the agony which that trying and bitter hour brings to the stoutest and most callous heart—when it must quit this state of being for another, of which it knows so little, and over which fear and doubt throw a gloom that hope cannot entirely dispel.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           

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