  "What is it, Shoofenwaller?" Kalico, the thin and gray little King of the Gnomes, peered impatiently down from the great carved gem-studded rock that served him for a throne. "Shoo—go away—you know this is my hour for retiring! Go away, I tell you! And if you never come back it will still be too soon." "Yes, but your MAJESTY!" While obediently backing toward the door, the King's Royal Chamberlain extended his arms imploringly. "Something has come up, the Long Eared Hearer reports footsteps on the South Mountain. Two visitors are about to enter the back door of our castle." "Visitors!" exclaimed Kalico, getting up with an impatient flounce. "At this hour! Well, tell them to go away and come back tomorrow. Here, wait a moment." As Shoofenwaller, shrugging his narrow shoulders, turned to carry out his orders, Kalico changed his mind. "Just hand me my expectacles," commanded the King crossly, "I may as well have a look at the prowling pests." With another shrug, Shoofenwaller stepped to a small cabinet, and taking a pair of smoked glasses from the top drawer, handed them up to the King. Now Kalico's expectacles were very useful, enabling him to see who was coming before they arrived, and clapping them hurriedly on his thin nose, he stared intently off into space. At what he saw, the King's expression changed from irritation to vague uneasiness. "Botheration!" he muttered morosely. "It's one of those mortals from the Emerald City. Why can't those girls stay home—always poking their noses into other people's affairs and trying to save somebody from something." "Which one is it?" asked Shoofenwaller, blinking. "It's Dorothy," sighed Kalico, taking off his expectacles and putting them absently into his pocket, "and there's a queer kind of winged pig with her. A pig with wings, mind you. Rooks and rockets! Wonder what they want?" "Why not find out?" suggested Shoofenwaller reasonably. "No! No, not tonight," Kalico waved his hands determinedly. "Just conduct them to the red guest cave, Shoofenwaller, and bring them to me in the morning." With a stiff bow the Royal Chamberlain backed out the door and pattered away to admit the visitors. "And about time, too," thought Dorothy as the rock door opened cautiously and the little crooked Gnome thrust out his head. "In the name of King Kalico the First, I hereby welcome you to Gnome Man's Land," began Shoofenwaller pompously. "Oh, that's all right," yawned Pigasus wearily, "what we want is a place to sleep, and remember—no trickery!" he added sharply as the Gnome stood aside so that they could enter the narrow rock passageway. "I suppose your Highness comes on a matter of state?" remarked Shoofenwaller, turning from Pigasus with an involuntary grimace. Pigs reminded him of ham—ham reminded him of eggs, and eggs were immediate death and destruction to gnomes. "Well, yes," admitted Dorothy, adjusting her step to the short, crooked legs of the King's little Counselor. "What I really need is an army!" "An army?" groaned Shoofenwaller, realizing what bad news this would be for his master. "Our army?" "Oh, let's talk about all that in the morning," wheezed Pigasus as Dorothy briskly nodded her head in answer to Shoofenwaller's question. The pink pig was taking sleepy sidelong squints at the elegantly excavated and gem-encrusted corridors of the Gnome King's underground dwelling. "Just what his Majesty suggested," muttered the Chamberlain, sweeping open a red iron door with a ruby knob. "I trust you will be comfortable here and rest well. If your Highness wishes a cup of Kalicocoa, or your friend a mud pie or pudding, just ring the bell. Goodnight, Princess! Goodnight—er—er PIG!" "Sa-hay—I resent that!" Pigasus cocked his ears belligerently as the King's crooked little messenger bowed himself out the door. "Did you notice the way he said 'pig,' Dorothy?" "Yes," said Dorothy with a little yawn, "I did, but then all gnomes are sassy and you'll have to get used to them. If Kalico helps us, that's all we care about." Pigasus nodded rather grimly. "I suppose this is what you call getting down to bed rock," he murmured, looking around the red rock apartment with his amused blue stare. "Hope the beds aren't rock, too." Punching a red sofa experimentally and finding it surprisingly soft, the pink pig jumped up and settled himself cozily among the cushions. Pigasus had lived in castles and palaces all his life and was so accustomed to comfort and luxury that without bothering to look around Kalico's richly appointed guest cavern he closed his eyes and fell asleep. Dorothy, tiptoeing through a curtain into an adjoining red rock cavern that served as a bedroom, undressed quickly and putting out the ruby lamps, slid thankfully between the red silk sheets and was soon as soundly asleep as Pigasus. They were just having breakfast, served by two small gnomen in their red sitting-cave, when Shoofenwaller came hurrying in to announce that Kalico was ready and waiting to see them. Earlier the Gnome King and his Chamberlain had discussed the possible purposes of Dorothy's visit and Kalico had been extremely annoyed to learn that she wanted to borrow his army. "And you will lend it to her, all our hundred thousand trained Gnomen Yoemen?" questioned Shoofenwaller anxiously. "What else can I do?" Kalico snapped his little gray eyes unhappily. "Remember it was Dorothy who stole the former Gnome King's magic belt and really was the means of my becoming King." "That's so," muttered Shoofenwaller, pulling his ear reflectively. "But why not use a little strategy in this conference, King? Why not pretend to help her and at the same time safeguard your own interests? Lending our army is a dangerous experiment. Suppose an enemy threatened us while our fighting forces were in the Emerald City? Anything could happen. Put her off—make excuses," urged Shoofenwaller craftily. This suggestion fell in exactly with the Gnome King's wishes, and curious to know what really had brought Dorothy to his castle, he sent his little Chamberlain hurrying off to bring her to the throne room. "And now for a little Kalicoaxing," sniffed Pigasus, waddling unconcernedly along beside Dorothy under magnificent arches, over artificial terraces and rock gardens, gazing down long vistas of yet unmined shafts where hundreds of gnomes worked busily with picks and shovels to further enrich the already enormously rich and powerful little Metal Monarch. Kalico, as they entered the beautifully furnished and lavishly carved cave that he used for a throne room, came hurrying to meet them. "So charming of you to come all this way just to see me," murmured the Gnome King, taking both of Dorothy's hands in his own and bowing graciously as she introduced Pigasus. "Always delighted to entertain a Princess from the Court of her Royal Highness, Ozma of Oz!" "Oh, Kalico—then you DO remember her! Oh, please, dear Kalico, will you help us to find her?" "Find her? Why, what under the earth do you mean? Is Ozma lost?" Kalico's long face at Dorothy's excited greeting grew visibly longer, and after the little girl had explained the disappearance of Ozma and the others, the enchantment of all the people in Oz, and the coming of Skamperoo to the Emerald City, Kalico climbed wearily back on his throne and sat down. "This—this is shocking!" faltered Kalico, mopping his forehead with a long gray cobweb, "and just what do you and this—this—pig intend to do about it?" "What do YOU intend to do about it?" Rather tired of being called a pig, Pigasus planted all four feet and stared defiantly up at the perturbed Metal Monarch. "Well—er—that is—er—I don't see that it is MY affair at all!" mumbled Kalico with a rueful nod of his head. "Anyone powerful enough to conquer Ozma and Oz would pay small attention to opinions of mine." "But we don't want your opinions," stated Pigasus bluntly. "What we want is your army and any magic you can conveniently spare!" "Please, Kalico, do help us," begged Dorothy, running up the carved rock steps of the throne and seating herself coaxingly on the arm. "With all your thousands of gnomes and many magic powers, we can certainly drive Skamperoo out of the Emerald City." "Well, of course," sighed Kalico, flattered by Dorothy's reference to his magic powers, "I'll do what I can, but if what you say is true, it will take more than one army to reconquer Oz." As he said this, Kalico looked across at Shoofenwaller, and the little Chamberlain, well pleased with his master's strategy, gave him an encouraging wink. "I tell you what I'll do," Kalico crossed his legs and regarded Dorothy through half-closed eyes. "If you find another King willing to send his army into Oz, I will also send mine. Remember, even Ozma's closest friends and retainers have forgotten her and the entire population, now fully convinced Skamperoo is their rightful ruler, will rise to oppose us." "Yes, yes, but have you no magic that will dispel this wicked enchantment or help us to locate our friends and sovereigns?" demanded Pigasus, not wholly satisfied with the Gnome King's offer. "Gnome magic may be of no use in this case; nevertheless, I will send for my wizard and see what can be done." Remembering their last experience with magic, Dorothy stepped down from Kalico's throne and seated herself quietly on the pink pig's back, and Pigasus, grunting with relief, squinted suspiciously at the small, ugly Wizard of the Underworld, who presently came shuffling into the royal presence chamber. As quickly as possible Kalico explained to the Wizard all the dire happenings in Oz. "Do you think our magic spyglass could locate Ozma and her missing friends and associates or tell us whether they have been utterly and completely destroyed?" demanded the Gnome King gravely. Potaroo, the King's magician, stood pulling his straggly whiskers for several moments after Kalico had finished speaking, then he stamped four times on the flagged floor with his right foot. Almost instantly four gnome wise men in peaked hats came into the throne room wheeling a huge telescope before them. Dorothy and Pigasus, prickling with suspense and terror, watched the Wizard screw his eye to the end of the twisting spyglass. After several snorts and surprised exclamations, Potaroo straightened up. "The missing Ozians and the Wizard of Ev are hidden away in Thunder Mountain," he stated in a hoarse whisper. An electric little silence followed Potaroo's disclosure, and as no one uttered a sound, the wizard continued, "As the spyglass is now pointing north, I believe you will find Thunder Mountain in that direction, but I must warn you that it will be a long and exceedingly dangerous journey." "Danger? Well what do we care for that Quick somebody fetch me my coat—my hat—" "This hardly seems a time for jokes and verses," murmured Kalico, looking at Dorothy in mild disapproval. "She has to make verses and rhymes when she rides me I'm a poetry pig and a lucky star guides me!" grunted Pigasus, too overcome by the wizard's awful news to realize he was speaking in verse himself. "Oh, what difference does it make?" cried Dorothy, jumping quickly off his back, "we must go to Thunder Mountain at once. Pigasus can fly there." "Here, here, not in such a hurry," exclaimed Kalico, secretly delighted at the prospect of being so easily rid of his troubles. "We must pack you a lunch basket, and tell me, Potaroo, have you any magic that will make the journey less dangerous for these brave young adventurers?" "M—agic?" stuttered Potaroo, his eyes growing glassy at the mere thought of parting with any of his magic treasures. "Well—er—I could lend them a box of my famous triple action stumbling blocks. They will overthrow any enemy, no matter how numerous." "Splendid!" beamed Kalico, rubbing his hands briskly together, "and don't forget, in the course of your journey north, if you find a King willing to lend his army, my army also will be ready and at your service." "Oh, Kalico, how kind you are!" Running up the steps of the throne again, Dorothy gave the Gnome King an impulsive hug. "Come on, COME on!" squealed Pigasus, who had seen the various winks between Kalico and Shoofenwaller and was convinced that the little Gnome King was doing as little as he possibly could. "Give us our lunch and our stumbling blocks and we'll be off, and I must say they'll be an enormous help when we reach Thunder Mountain." Spreading his wings, Pigasus began to fly in angry circles round the Gnome King's head. "Humph, pork's going up!" sniffed Shoofenwaller as he hurried away to see about packing the lunch basket. "He ought to be dried, smoked and salted," muttered Potaroo, going sulkily off to fetch the blocks. Dorothy, in earnest consultation with Kalico, heard neither of these remarks, and when a few moments later the two returned with two boxes and Dorothy's hat and coat, she thanked them politely, called Pigasus down from a rocky ledge where he had flown and climbed happily on his back. Then Pigasus, not giving her time for any lengthy farewells, zipped through the tunneled caverns and corridors of the Gnome King's Underground Dominions and burst thankfully out the back door of South Mountain. "Now, let's see, which way is north?" mused Pigasus, twirling his curly tail around like a propeller. "All we have to do is to fly north to Thunder Mountain, unlock its thunder bolts, restore the rulers of Oz, toss tumbling blocks at all enemies, raise a grand army and then, THEN King Kalico will help us. Isn't it just too magniferous!" "Why Piggins, how mean of you, surely you know The Gnome King's our friend, don't you like Kalico?" "No!" said Pigasus fiercely, hurling himself into the air. "Well, anyway, we're better off than we were before," thought Dorothy after several rhymed attempts to draw Pigasus into a conversation. "At least we now know where Ozma is and have two kinds of magic and the promise of an army. Really we're getting on quite fast." But perhaps had she seen the King and his Chamberlain nodding their heads like two little China mandarins as she and Pigasus left the throne room, she would not have felt so cheerful. "That's the last we'll ever see of her," chuckled Shoofenwaller, dropping a dried lizard instead of a lump of sugar into his tea. (Gnomes always flavor their tea with lizards.) "No one yet has ever come safely back from Thunder Mountain. But what about this new Emperor of Oz?" "Oh, that will be all right!" Kalico waved one hand airily. "I would much rather have a man on the throne of Oz. Ozma is always involving me in wars or demanding the rights of smaller Kingdoms, so long may she stay in Thunder Mountain and long Skamperoo rule in Oz!" "Long live the Emperor!" echoed Shoofenwaller, and clicking their teacups gaily together, the two bad little Gnomes drained to the last drop their black and bitter tea. And we should not be too hard on Kalico, I suppose, for like all the dwellers under the earth, his heart is gray and flinty as the rock that forms his cavern, the blood in his veins cold and sluggish as the leaden waters of the underground rivers that wind sullenly through his dark domain. |
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