Retreat of the army—Commendable spirit of the troops—Hurricane Creek—Our division left here to cover the retreat—March to the Tallahatchie—Ridiculous rumors—Christmas—We go into camp—Return of Dickey's raid—Our condition as to supplies—The New Year—Good News—March to Holly Springs—Announcement of the capture of Vicksburg—It is contradicted—We go into camp—March of Denver's division—Our situation—Burning of Holly Springs—March again to the north—Bivouac at Cold Water—Brooding and speculating over the result of the campaign—Arrival at Moscow.

Reveille beat at 3½ o'clock, and at sunrise we turned our faces to the north and our backs upon all our dreams of conquest and glory. We began to retreat. The rubbish of our camps was on fire, and the mill which had been impressed to grind corn for us, wrapt in flames, sent a column of dense smoke into the air. The 41st Illinois was detailed to tear up the railroad. We looked upon all this with blank astonishment. But it was no fiction; the campaign was abandoned; the whole army was in retreat! We were bewildered. But out of this disappointment we endeavored to kindle a glow of hope; and out of this failure, we endeavored to persuade ourselves that victory would yet come. All felt the event keenly, and it could not be expected that there would be no murmurings. But the army of the Tennessee was too patriotic in spirit and too brave in heart to be demoralized at this. Each soldier endeavored to put on a cheerful air, and each sought for hope in the countenances and conversation of his comrades. I will not endeavor to recount the reasonings and conjectures with which we endeavored to justify and excuse the retreat; nor the manner in which others more despondent complained of it. Many, however, seemed to think that we could have taken Grenada and maintained ourselves there, subsisting on the country, until communication by railroad could have been opened with Memphis.

Passing through Oxford, we camped on Hurricane Creek where we had camped on the night of the 11th. The 41st came up before dark and reported that they had performed their job quite to their own satisfaction. We believed them. All night the cars plied rapidly between Oxford and Abbeville removing cotton and Government stores. A bright light shone over the city during the entire night, and we judged that the troops remaining there were setting fire to portions of it, but never received any direct confirmation of our conjectures.

In the morning, our trains were sent forward under a strong guard, and during the forenoon, Quimby's Division filed past us. Thus the 4th Division was left to cover and protect the retreat. Orders were had for the men to remain by their colors in readiness for anything that might occur. To prevent straggling Major Brown ordered roll-call in our regiment every two hours, the results to be reported in writing to him. We remained here another night, and heard the frequent noise and whistle of the cars—sounds which seemed more in keeping with a time of peace than of war.

Next morning, the drums beat early, and we received orders to prepare for action or a march at a moment's notice. We had been exposed all night to the luxury of a drizzling rain, which still continued, and made the prospect of the day anything but agreeable. At eight o'clock we slung knapsacks and fell in, but were kept standing in ranks till afternoon before commencing the march.

Late in the afternoon we passed Abbeville, and there saw a small garrison protecting the depot inside of a redoubt of cotton bales. It looked decidedly aristocratic. Dirt breastworks would not do. It was too cheap. They must have it made out of something worth fifty cents a pound. Well, luxuries among soldiers are so rare, who could envy them that? We camped a short distance from the enemy's rifle pits north of the Tallahatchie.

Here coming up with our comrades of the train, we found they had balm for our wounded spirits in the shape of prodigious camp reports of victories at all points. Burnside had not only defeated the enemy on the Rappahannock and taken Richmond—Sherman had not only taken Vicksburg and Banks Port Hudson, but peace was actually declared! There were men in the 27th Iowa and 33d Wisconsin that would bet their bounties on it. Of course we did not believe these reports to their full extent, but, we thought there might be something in them, and the thought encouraged us greatly.

The following day was Christmas. We ate our ¾ rations and celebrated it soberly and seriously. Our example would have been an excellent one to those Christians, who, under more favorable circumstances, celebrate the birth of Christ by stimulating their animal propensities with rich meat and strong wine. We fasted somewhat; and if yearning is prayer, we prayed—prayed for deliverance from our gloomy situation, and to be put on a new road of victory.

We changed camp two miles to the northeast, and camped in line on the extreme left of the army, looking to the south. We sent out a forage train which came in abundantly loaded.

The cavalry brigade which had been sent to make a raid on the Mobile and Ohio Railroad, returned, successful, having torn up several miles of track, burned a warehouse of rebel stores, and made large captures of horses. Indeed every soldier of the 4th Illinois Cavalry seemed to have brought with him at least two horses and one contraband. The news of this little success, however unimportant, did something toward mitigating our gloom.

Meanwhile our provisions, "like the lingering sands of an hour glass," were fast running out. To prolong, if possible, the expected period of final starvation, Gen. McPherson issued another order reducing us to half rations. Lumkin's mills, six miles to the north, were put to grinding corn for our division; but the supply of meal thus obtained fell far short of furnishing us with bread-stuff, but we found an excellent substitute in hulled corn and in black peas which abounded in the corn-fields adjacent to our camp. We had also a corral which was supplied with beef (?) cattle, picked up in the surrounding country. And such cattle! Some were so poor as to be almost transparent. The boys actually averred that the butchers had to prop up one or two old oxen to shoot them! Our forage trains penetrated the country in all directions to find subsistence for the animals; in one instance going twenty-two miles from camp, and being gone two days. Thus the sweets of the enemy's success at Holly Springs was embittered to the whole country for many miles around, our army being put under tribute to supply its wants. And it must be confessed that notwithstanding the vigilance of the provost marshal who was now getting to be a most unpopular individual, the people suffered more from unauthorized seizures by soldiers who accompanied forage trains, or who, impelled by hunger, scouted the vicinity of the camps in bands, than in any legitimate way.

In the midst of this, we had our full rations of parades, inspections and reviews, and we more than once wondered if the generals were on half rations like the men. I do not believe they were.

The new year came; but it brought no rejoicings, no feastings, no comforts, no news from home. There was nothing to alleviate the general despondency, if we except an order from General McPherson announcing General Sullivan's victory at Parker's Cross Roads over Forest who had been destroying our railroad communications north of Jackson; also, that he had received a telegram from General Grant at Holly Springs, announcing a sharp fight near Nashville, with Johnson badly cut up and falling back. The order closed with the words, "Bully for New Years, with the compliments of General McPherson."

So far the winter had been mild. We had had but little snow. We had had none of those cold winds which, at this season of the year, sweep over our northern prairies. The ground had not been frozen so deep but that a half day's sun sufficed to thaw it out. We had had spells of very warm weather, warm as September in the North, followed by the inevitable soaking rains of the South. And yet, if we except the traveled roads and level bottoms, the ground had not been muddy. The clay hills seemed impervious to water, which, flowing from them, cut immense ditches down which great quantities of soil are yearly washed away. But it was a question whether this waste of soil was much of a loss to the fields; for on the surface the soil seemed to be of the same consistence it was six feet below. They are compelled to plow around these hills and circle them with ditches to prevent this wasteful washing. If the climate were not favorable to the production of cotton, it was the universal verdict of my comrades that they would not give a dollar an acre for the uplands of northern Mississippi. But it is not surprising that we should be unfavorably impressed with a country that afforded us such meager hospitalities.

Our picket duty was quite heavy. The details were made by regiments. For instance, on a given day the 3d Iowa would be required to furnish 300 men, embracing a specified proportion of officers and non-commissioned officers. Other regiments would furnish a similar number, and so the detail would go round the division.

On the 3d of January we received a meager mail from home, and the following day papers arrived announcing for the first time that General Burnside had been defeated at Fredericksburg. We also learned to our mortification that Vicksburg was not taken. But this news had a transient compensation in reports, coming from no one knows what source, that Burnside had again crossed the Rappahannock and gained a great victory, and that Sherman was only waiting the arrival of Banks, when Vicksburg would certainly fall. At any rate we were always in luck or about to be. But what was still more agreeable was the arrival of a day's full rations, and news that our railroad communications were open to Memphis by way of LaGrange.

On the 5th of January, our division broke up camp on the Tallahatchie, and again took up the northward march. When the column had formed on the main road, General Lauman rode along and the boys of our regiment cheered him lustily. The country through which we passed, particularly in the vicinity of Waterford and Lumkin's Mills was putrid with the offal of slaughtered animals and the debris of deserted camps. The animals in our beef corral were driven along with us. They were the most motley looking herd we ever beheld; oxen that could not make a shadow; cows of the most lilliputian dimensions; embryo calves (for indeed they seemed intended for calves); and sheep that would not make a meal for a rat terrier. These, we were told were a fair specimen of Mississippi cattle! The herd would have made a menagerie worth a northern man's fifty cents in the hardest times.

Before we reached Holly Springs, Gen. McPherson received a dispatch from General Grant stating that Sherman had captured Vicksburg with 20,000 prisoners. The report was circulated along the column and caused great rejoicing. Reaching Holly Springs we found conflicting reports among the troops; and though the latest dispatches did not warrant the belief that Vicksburg was taken, we clung to the pleasant delusion, and for a long time would not believe that Sherman had been defeated.

We found Denver's Division here. The 109th Illinois was also here, and, with the exception of Company K, was in confinement for mutiny. The case of these traitors has become a matter of history. As regiment after regiment of the division passed their guard house, the boys growled and hooted at them in the most decisive manner.

We camped on the beautiful level ground north of the city. Gen. Grant still had his head quarters at Holly Springs, and our regiment furnished his head quarter guard.

At two o'clock the following morning, reveille began to beat in the camps of Denver's Division, and we knew they were preparing to march. No sooner had they evacuated their camps than our boys rushed to them, bearing away tables, bunks, boards, everything that could assist in furnishing our tents, or making them more comfortable.

All the troops except the 4th Division were withdrawn to the line of the Memphis and Charleston Railroad. Our division was left to cover the evacuation of the country and protect the removal of property. The 1st and 2d brigades occupying Holly Springs; the 3d yet remaining at Lumkin's Mills. On the 7th, a guard was sent to the latter place to bring forward a wagon train. It returned without molestation. The next day, the 3d Brigade joined us, which was quite a relief, as hitherto our picket duty had been very heavy. The cars were busy night and day removing stores, cotton, and negro women and children. The same day, January 8th, the cavalry, which had been watching the front, moved to the rear, and all felt confident the infantry and artillery would go the next day. And now we were to witness a tragedy which reflects infamy upon its perpetrators, and a dishonor upon the 4th Division.

Under the belief that we would move in the morning, a number of soldiers of the different regiments met and concerted a scheme for firing the city. Shortly after dark, the flames broke out in its eastern limits, and did not spread, but soon rose in another quarter. We saw it from our camp with little amazement; for we could not but expect that there would be found some reckless enough to undertake to execute the threats of vengeance made by exasperated soldiers against the citizens, on account of their conduct towards our prisoners captured by Van Dorn in his raid. The provost guards in some instances did their duty, arresting the incendiaries; but generally they connived at their operations. The flames spread and broke out in new directions. Two additional regiments were ordered on duty as provost guards. Generals McPherson and Lauman rode through the city with their escorts and endeavored to arrest the work of barbarism. But their efforts were unavailing. Men, seizing their guns and accoutrements, ran into the city from all the camps, and filled the streets with bogus guards, whose purpose was to counteract the operations of the real ones. By 9 o'clock the confusion was at its hight—hideous and indescribable. The fiendish yells of the assassins and their accomplices, the shrieks of women and children, the shouts of the swaying crowds, applauding or rebuking, the commands of officers, the rushing sounds of the devouring flames, and the crash of falling timbers, mingled all their noises together. Citizens assisted by soldiers vainly endeavored to arrest the flames. The rich and the poor; the friendly and the unfriendly were served alike. The most stately residences and the meanest hovels were alike consumed. Not even the negro quarters were spared. To whatever could make a blaze, the incendiaries applied the torch. In the midst of it all, but few collisions took place, and but one casualty was reported, the wounding of a member of the 41st Illinois by a provost guard.

From our camp, the spectacle was grand in the extreme. The flames illuminated the heavens far around, and sent up huge columns of red smoke, which, driven by the south wind, rolled over our heads in clouds reflecting the yellow light and shutting out the dark storm clouds above. We saw from our camp the splendid sight; but we did not hear the cries of the helpless around the flames and over the ashes of their once happy homes.

The conflagration raged unabated till midnight, when the long roll beat in all the camps. The men sprang from their sleep, gathered their arms and accoutrements and fell in line. Presently an orderly came along with an order for roll-call to be had in each company, and the absentees noted and reported to head quarters. It is due to the good name of our regiment, to say that but two men were found absent at this time. Indeed, it would be an unusual thing, when camped in the vicinity of a large city, for a sudden midnight roll-call to find all the men in their quarters.

Comrades, I have pictured this scene as we saw and heard it. If it was right for soldiers to behave thus, let no one be ashamed that those who did so belonged to the 4th Division. If it was wrong, as the guilty ones are unknown, the disgrace falls upon us in common. That many justified it who did not participate in it, can not be denied. It is equally true, that many denounced it.

Let us give both sides a fair hearing. Those who justified it said, that when the place was captured on the 20th by Van Dorn, the women insulted our comrades who had surrendered, firing pistols and throwing bricks at them. There was not a Union man in the city. It had been in the past, and if not destroyed, would be in the future, a rendezvous for the enemy. Every family would give him aid; every roof would give him comfort. We had tried the kid glove policy and it had failed. Our enemies were traitors to a Government, the noblest in the world, and which had never wronged them. They were neither legitimate nor honorable enemies. We must teach them that we looked upon their treason as a crime. Had we left our homes and all the comforts of life, and come here to guard rebel property? If the contrary policy were adopted, the rebels would soon yield. They would not endure to see their property destroyed and their families brought to distress. Desertion would soon disorganize their armies, and leave us no more fighting to do.

On the other hand, it was said the war should be conducted honorably and according to the rules of warfare among civilized nations. War had its reciprocal justice; and we should not do to our enemies what we would not expect them to do to us, under like circumstances. The enemy was a traitor; that was true; but he was also a formidable power; and if we were to carry on the war with violence and outrage, he could and would retaliate. Until we had shown ourselves able to destroy the rebel hosts in the field, we should not direct our warfare against the women and children. All the advantages we had gained over the enemy had been gained by bravery in battle; not by cruelty elsewhere. Violence was not vigor. Energy in prosecuting the war, did not imply cruelty toward those whom its fortunes had placed in our hands. Let us march against the enemy's armies; defeat, pursue and destroy them. Then would the world applaud our valor. And, if we protected the unarmed, the helpless and innocent, it would applaud our magnanimity. If the contrary policy were adopted,—if we burned down over their heads the homes of women and children; if we left them shelterless in mid-winter and without food;—if we thus turned a deaf ear to the common appeals of humanity, what sympathy could we expect from civilized nations? How, under such circumstances, could we expect neutrality from them, to say nothing of friendship? It would exasperate our enemies in arms to new vigor as well as to new cruelty; it would cause non-combatants to take up arms, and bring against us foreign powers. Thus would we be overwhelmed with our own wickedness and folly.

But, more than this, respect for our duties as soldiers,—respect for the oath we had taken, should restrain us from violating the positive and repeated orders of our commanding generals. If the Government chose to inaugurate the policy of burning and laying waste, and we were commanded to execute it, we would obey; the responsibility would not be ours. We had enlisted, not to be the Government, but to serve it; and until we were commanded to commit such acts, our moral instincts should teach us to refrain from committing them. That our generals had been compelled to issue orders admonishing us against such conduct, was itself a humiliation. Every soldier in our ranks should understand the dignity of his mission, and feel that the cause of civilization needs not the weapons of barbarism for its defense.

When the morning came the conflagration had not ceased; but, from hour, to hour the flames continued to break out in different places in the suburbs of the city. At 10 A.M., we received orders to prepare to march immediately. Our wagons were soon loaded and sent forward, and the troops were called into line. But trains of cars continued to arrive and depart, loaded to their utmost capacity with negro women and children. Still we were kept in line, doubtless with the object of preventing a further destruction of the city. It was not till eight o'clock at night that we began to move. The roads were slippery and deep with mud. There was no moon in the early part of the night, and our only light was the conflagration, still raging behind us, and the blaze of burning fences and buildings on either hand. It was nearly midnight, when we reached Cold Water, and halted for rest and sleep.

Early in the morning, we took up the march on the Moscow road. We passed a camp of cavalry north of the stream as we crossed it,—all that now remained of the invading army fronting the enemy in Mississippi. And here we could not help but contrast our present feelings with those with which we had entered upon the campaign. Then in Virginia, in Middle Tennessee, and with us in Mississippi,—everywhere victory seemed preparing. Now, looking around us, we saw how our dream of victory and peace had vanished. Defeated at Fredericksburg; repulsed at Vicksburg; a hard earned, fruitless victory at Murfreesborough,—checked everywhere except in Mississippi, and here we had retreated.

But when we began to look at the chief difficulties of the campaign,—that of keeping open two to three hundred miles of railroad communication in the face of a bold and enterprising enemy, it was not so much a surprise to us that it had proved a failure, as that it had been undertaken at all. Our only source of hope now was, that Grant would undertake the capture of Vicksburg by the more practicable route of the Mississippi.

The road was well beaten by previous columns of troops, and a vigorous march brought us to Wolf River, where we passed the night. In the morning we crossed the river and went into camp around Moscow, relieving a part of Logan's division.