CHAPTER 19
Back to Perhaps City
Seated on a great gold cushion on the lowest golden step of his palace sat Peer Haps, pointing his telescope with trembling fingers down Maybe Mountain. It was the fourth day mentioned in Abrog’s prophecy, the day the monster was to carry off the Princess, and still no word had come from the Forgetful Poet. Between grief over the loss of his daughter and worry over Percy Vere, the poor old monarch had got no sleep at all and was so cross and snappy that the pages and courtiers went stealthily about on tip-toe, their fingers to their lips.
Can’t you make a verse, idiot?
roared the Peer, glaring at Perix who, with another telescope, sat close beside him. Perix moved up a couple of steps and sadly shook his head.
But look,
he stuttered in the next breath, someone is coming up the mountain.
Is it the monster?
puffed Peer Haps anxiously. Has it two heads?
Dropping his own telescope, he snatched the young nobleman’s glass and glued his eye to the top. Then, with a loud shriek of joy, he tore open the gates and plunged recklessly down the steep mountain side. And certainly the dear old fellow would have rolled to the bottom had not a sturdy oak intervened and put a stop to his plunging. It was the fortunatest place of all for a stop, because, right below the oak, climbing easily over the rocks and stones, was the lost Princess herself. Not quite herself, perhaps, but enough so for her father to recognize her. Holding tight to the oak, the old Peer leaned down and seized her hand. The next instant he had her in his arms and was running up the mountain as recklessly as he had just plunged down. But some good fairy kept him from tumbling and, once up the golden steps, he brushed past gaping courtiers and pages and never stopped till he had reached the great throne room.
Setting the Princess on a green satin sofa, he gave her a hasty kiss and, without stopping to question her about her strange disappearance, locked the door and rushed from the room. Beads of perspiration stood out on his forehead. True, the Princess was found, but she certainly was changed and, worse still, at any moment the monster might appear and carry her off. Thudding down the corridor, Peer Haps burst into the apartment of the tall High Humpus of Perhaps City. Humpus was also Chief Justice and attended to all state weddings. The Peer was determined to have the Princess marry Perix at once and settle this monster matter once and for always. Explaining this as he went along, he dragged the scandalized Justice to the steps to fetch the groom. But Perix had disappeared and with him every single young and single nobleman in Perhaps City. For though Peer Haps had run quickly, with his daughter in his arms, he had not run quickly enough, and word of the mysterious change in the Princess had already spread over the city.
She is bewitched,
Perix had whispered to the others in a panic and—feeling in his bones that Peer Haps would insist upon him marrying her anyway—the faint-hearted youth had hidden himself in a rain barrel and the other young noblemen, equally alarmed, had run to the darkest cellar in the castle. Hopping on one foot and then on the other, Peer Haps called each one by name. But there was no response and, sinking down upon the golden steps, the poor King wept with rage and discouragement. But the Lord High Humpus had been staring down the mountain for signs of the monster, and now he plucked the Peer sharply by the sleeve.
Look!
hissed the Chief Justice, every curl in his white wig fluttering with excitement. Look!
Knocking upon the great gates of the city was a weary, travel-stained young stranger. It was the Prince of Ragbad. For the flower trail had led him straight to the foot of Maybe Mountain. There he had lost his way, for Maybe Mountain is covered with wild flowers of every description, so that it was impossible to trace farther the footsteps of the little fairy. But Tatters had kept on, nevertheless, determined, if necessary, to search the whole mountain until he found her. Naturally, he did not know he was so near the Forgetful Poet’s old home. But when, after a hard climb he reached the mountain top and spied the splendid castle of Peer Haps, he decided to continue his search there and waited impatiently for someone to open the gates.
He looks honest,
sputtered the Chief Justice, raising his brows significantly, and in spite of his rags he is not unhandsome. Suppose—
To the rest of the sentence Peer Haps paid no attention, for he had already flung down the steps and pulled Tatters through the gates. Grabbing him by the arm, he hurried him up the steps and along the hall before the startled Prince could say Jack Robinson.
The Lord High Humpus, straightening his wig, had dashed after them, and, while Peer Haps unlocked the door of the throne room, he held Tatters tightly by the hand.
What’s the matter?
demanded the astonished youth. He was exhausted and out of breath from his scramble up the mountain. What’s the matter? I am looking for a lost fairy. Have you seen anything of her?
But instead of answering, the Chief Justice put his fingers to his lips and drew the young man into the throne room itself. There was a confused mumble of words, to which Tatters, who still was too weary and breathless to argue, paid small attention. He nodded absently to some question of the white-wigged dignitary and the next minute was being crushed in the embrace of the singularly fat old gentleman who had dragged him up the steps.
You have saved us!
cried Peer Haps, tears of joy zig-zagging down his cheek. My son! My son! How can I ever repay you!
Son?
The Prince of Ragbad sprang back aghast. Congratulations!
chuckled the Chief Justice, clapping Tatters on the back.
On what?
gasped the bewildered young Prince, whirling ’round.
On your marriage.
The Chief Justice made a deep bow toward the cloaked figure, whom Tatters had not seen until now.
My marriage?
The distracted youth clapped one hand to his head and the other to his heart and fell backwards upon a page who had just run in to announce visitors. But before the page could announce them, Grampa, Percy Vere, Dorothy and Toto burst into the throne room. It had not been long before they, too, had picked up the flower trail of Urtha and later the footprints of Tatters himself. You can imagine the delight of the Forgetful Poet to find himself once more on familiar ground. It was a hard pull up, for the old soldier had but one leg to climb with, but they had finally reached the top of the mountain, and, waving aside courtiers and servants, they had hurried immediately to the throne room.
Have you seen anything of a little fairy?
puffed all three together, and then seeing Tatters, apparently having a fit in the arms of a page, they stopped short. Why, Tatters, whatever’s the matter?
Dorothy dropped the red umbrella and ran over to the Prince of Ragbad.
Matter?
choked the poor Prince, tears streaming down his cheeks. Matter! I’m married to I don’t know whom—that’s what’s the matter!
And before Dorothy could make head or tail of his story the Forgetful Poet and Peer Haps had rushed at each other with such an outpouring of affectionate greetings, such hugs and claps upon the back, that nothing else could be heard at all.
This is worse than a battle,
groaned the old soldier, bracing himself against the table.
It’s an outrage, an utter outrage. Pick me up! Pick me up! Do you hear?
The wig of the Chief Justice rose into the air and turned round three times. The voice had certainly come from a pink bag at his feet, for the Forgetful Poet, in his excitement at seeing the old Peer, had carelessly dropped Fumbo’s head. Pale with terror, the High Humpus fled from the throne room, and it was just as well, for there was noise and confusion enough without him. As no one else heard Fumbo, he had to stay where he was.
But the Princess!
cried Percy Vere, extricating himself at last from the Peer’s embraces. I could not find her, but all these people are going to help and—
Don’t worry about that,
beamed Peer Haps, waving toward the quiet little figure. She is not only found, but married. Now let the monster appear if he dare. This young man has saved the day.
Do you mean to say you are married?
roared Grampa, thumping on the table with his fist and glaring over at Tatters. Why didn’t you wait for us? Where’s Urtha? Where’s the Princess? Why is she all covered up like this? I insist upon seeing the Princess.
One minute! One minute!
begged Peer Haps, stepping between Grampa and the cloaked figure. My daughter is bewitched just now and cannot be seen, but I’m sure the spell can be broken, and then—
And you’ve married a bewitched Princess?
With another angry glance at poor Tatters, Grampa bit off a piece of his bubble pipe and sank heavily into a pink armchair. Dorothy had been trying her best to unravel the strange mix-up and now stepped forward.
Let Tatters tell what happened,
said the little Princess, stamping her foot imperiously. It wasn’t his fault, Grampa.
She spoke with such firmness that Peer Haps fairly gasped. Then, stealing a second glance and recognizing her instantly as a Princess Royal of Oz, he motioned for Tatters to speak.
So the Prince of Ragbad rose up and in breathless sentences explained how he had been seized at the gates of the city and tricked into marrying the Princess.
But isn’t that what you were going to do anyway?
asked Percy Vere, when the Prince had finished. Weren’t you looking for a Princess and a fortune when I met you? And didn’t we all decide to hunt the Princess of Perhaps City? Well! Here she is—and there you are! The only difference is that you have married her a little sooner than you intended and saved her from an unknown and dreadful monster. Nothing so terrible about that. My hat!
Percy Vere smiled coaxingly at the Prince and encouragingly at Peer Haps, for he did not like to see any of his friends unhappy.
But I was only going to rrr-rescue her,
wailed Tatters.
The difference is that we haven’t seen the Princess,
put in Grampa more mildly. We’d save anybody from a monster, but don’t you think, Mr Vere, it was unfair to marry Tatters to a Princess he’s never even seen?
Idiot,
screamed a harsh voice. Whirling around, the startled company saw a bent and dreadful old man standing just inside the long window. Idiot!
he shrieked again, pointing a long trembling finger at Peer Haps. You have married your daughter to a monster!
It’s Abrog,
gasped Percy Vere, clutching Dorothy’s hand.
Monster,
roared Grampa, and hopping over to the Prophet, he seized him by the beard. How dare you call Tatters a monster? I’ll fight you!
puffed the old soldier furiously.
Jerking away, Abrog leaned down, picked up Fumbo’s head and set it upon Tatters’ shoulders. See,
he screamed wildly, you have married your daughter to a monster with two heads.
And as Peer Haps, who knew nothing of Tatters’ story, fell back aghast, Fumbo stuck his head out of the bag and began scolding everyone in the room.
In the uproar that followed and while Percy, Dorothy, and Grampa were trying all at once to explain things to the old Peer, the Prophet himself began to move stealthily toward the Princess. Only Tatters saw this. Placing his father’s head carefully on the table, he reached out and, just as Abrog reached her, the Prince seized him roughly by the collar. But he was not quick enough. Abrog had already snatched away the cloak and there—trembling and sorrowful—stood the Princess of Perhaps City, herself. Tatters loosed his hold upon the Prophet.
Urtha,
cried the overwrought young bridegroom and took the frightened little fairy in his arms.
