There may be no impropriety in adding a few pages on the subject of Medical Quackery and empiricism, since, for more than half a century, the writer has occasionally witnessed melancholy scenes and disasters among his fellow-men in consequence of their nefarious practice. It is a matter of congratulation, that from the liberal and excellent provisions made by our legislatures, and the most ample means of education which our institutions afford, every candidate for medical fame may become completely qualified for its attainment. And every town or parish may be supplied with scientific physicians, meriting the confidence of the people; and no other should ever be employed or encouraged, as they have peculiar claim to public patronage.

Notwithstanding that in all the medical institutions in the United States, the most judicious and energetic measures have been adopted to prevent the evils of quackery, there are ignorant and unprincipled impostors, who set at defiance all learning and theoretical knowledge, and practise the vilest acts and deceptions, sporting with the health and lives of their fellow-men without remorse. Such miscreants are too frequently encouraged by the heedless multitude, who, delighting in marvellous and magical airs, readily yield themselves dupes to the grossest absurdities. From one of this character we have the following anecdote.

An old acquaintance who knew well the character of a celebrated empiric, said to him, while standing at the door, ‘Prithee, doctor, how is it that you, whose origin I so well know, should have been able to obtain more practice than almost all the regular bred physicians.’ ‘Pray,’ says the quack, ‘how many persons have passed us while you put the question?’ ‘About twenty.’ ‘And pray how many of them do you suppose possess a competent share of common sense?’ ‘Perhaps one out of the twenty.’ ‘Just so,’ says the doctor, ‘and that one applies to the regular physician, while I and my brethren pick up the other nineteen.’

And how often have we seen the contemptible ignoramus raised by the voice of popularity above the level of the learned and accomplished physician, and boasting of nineteen twentieths of the practice? It is not unfrequent that our attention is arrested by the pretensions of prophets and mystical fanatics, who announce their pretended heavenly mission, and treat their credulous patients with bubbles and magical spells. The stranger, called the rainwater doctor, after gulling hundreds of people of weak minds a few years since, disappeared, leaving both his origin and his exit involved in mystery. But the most audacious impostor that was ever suffered to delude even the vulgar, was one Austin, of Vermont, who, a few years since, proclaimed himself a prophet, and pretended to cure all diseases by prayer to heaven, requiring no other information relative to the patient, than a few lines requesting his prayers. Such was the credulity and such the faith of the multitude, that letters and messengers were despatched to him from the sick, the blind, and the crippled, from the distance of several hundred miles, until thousands had accumulated on his hands. A certain poor man whom I knew, became so infatuated with the prophet’s proclamation, that, after collecting letters from a number of invalids, of all descriptions, among whom was one totally blind, and having received contributions in money, actually performed a journey of about two hundred miles to receive the benefit of the prophet’s prayers. But he soon returned as he went, and gained for his credulous employers and himself no other benefit than a conviction of their folly, and the vile imposition of modern prophets. The two jugglers above mentioned, it is presumed, jeoparded no lives by the use of poisonous materials, as they depended on the operation of the imagination; but there are bolder champions of the craft who can pop you off the stage in a moment. The country is annoyed by a train of unprincipled ignoramuses, without reputation, who are prowling about, brandishing the sure weapons of death, reckless of consequences. But their punishment is reserved to the day of retributive justice. I well recollect the following moral lesson of a pious physician. ‘If a patient die through your wilful ignorance, rashness, or careless neglect, his blood will be required at your hands.’ How much greater, then, must be the accountability in those who administer the most active and even poisonous materials, without the smallest acquaintance with the human constitution or the nature of the medicine. It is characteristic of these people, to undertake to cure incurables, magnifying a wart to a rose cancer, a simple ulcer to a spreading mortification, and to set bones where there is neither joint nor fracture. Although palpable instances of death from their practice are frequent, should a single cure happen, it is proclaimed as almost miraculous, and the lawless miscreants are still suffered to seek their prey with impunity, and no one tells of their thousand victims concealed in the silent grave!

It is from a similar empirical source, that the public is annoyed by a disgusting display of quack and patent medicines; which, through the medium of newspapers, are impudently palmed upon public attention. It would seem as though a host of ignorant impostors have leagued in hostility against the profession of medicine, wishing to despoil it of its dignity and usefulness, and prostrate its character in the dust. The world is inundated with nostrums, usurping the power, not only to remedy all the diseases of our nature, but actually to fortify the human constitution, and render it invulnerable. In their ostentatious display, they extol a single nostrum as adequate to the prevention and cure of a whole catalogue of diseases, however opposite or discordant in their nature. They are suited to all constitutions, as the shoe-black’s composition is applicable to every one’s boots or shoes. Thus are we kindly invited, at the expense of a few dollars, to purchase of those self ‘dubbed doctors,’ that health and longevity which even the judicious hand of science is unable to bestow. The inventors and venders of these pretended specifics, in most instances, have no knowledge of the diseases which they pretend to cure; they depend, as it were, on a random shot, and whatever may be the issue, they are sure of their enormous gains, from two to four hundred per cent; articles sold for a dollar might be afforded for ten cents.

By such fraud and imposition, a noted Charlatan in London accumulated such an immense fortune as to parade the streets in a splendid equipage, the effects of public credulity. But the public may be assured, that since the great improvements in chemical science, a large proportion of patent medicines have been analyzed, and are found to consist of old articles which physicians have expunged from their materia medica, to give place to more valuable and efficacious remedies. Here, then, is a boundless source of knavery and fraud,—but I desire to have it understood, that these observations are not to extend to all patentees of medical compositions, without exception, for all are not equally censurable. Few, indeed, there are, which scientific physicians are willing to concede may be of public utility. But that indiscriminate application in all cases and circumstances, should be most pointedly reprobated. Were the annual amount of money expended for useless nostrums made public, it would excite astonishment, and were the innumerable disappointments in their creative powers promulgated, public indignation and contempt would be the portion of the inventors and venders of patented nostrums.

There is not a more provoking absurdity, as applied to the economy of health, than the idea of spring medicines, family medicines, &c, and it should be distinctly understood by every individual, that such medicine administered to persons in health, as preventive of disease, as well as those administered without a skilful reference to the present condition of the system, are absolutely dangerous to health and life. And the same observation will apply to the practice of blood-letting in the spring season.

Those who maintain the ridiculous idea that individuals are endowed with supernatural gifts and knowledge, and become skilful physicians without education or study, betray a pitiful credulity, equalled only by the conceits of those who believe in ghosts and spectres, haunting the dwellings of the dead. We now witness with the deepest interest, the rapid strides in the march of intellect, keeping pace with the advance of light and truth, looking for that political and moral millenium, when knowledge will be more sought for than wealth, and the charms of virtue more prized than those of vice; when prejudice, superstition, and licentiousness, will be discountenanced among all classes of mankind, and righteousness shall exalt our nation.

Truly ‘the lines have fallen to us in pleasant places, and we have a goodly heritage.’ But it were unjust to look back to antiquity and compare the beauties of the present day with the deformities of ancient times; to attribute exclusive perfection to ourselves and deprive our ancestors of their real worth and merit; for we know not the period among them when wisdom and virtue were lightly esteemed. Let us reflect, with religious gratitude, on the momentous privileges and benefits bequeathed to us by our fathers. In all their actions we trace a zealous solicitude to transmit to posterity a glorious inheritance. Like angels of light, they would illuminate the minds of their children, with the high importance of religious institutions, seminaries, and free schools. If, in any form, they would enchain our minds, it would be in the principles of civil and religious freedom, of patriotism, philanthropy, moral rectitude, and public virtue. But ‘our fathers, where are they?’ Let us with laborious fidelity follow them in every good word and work, that our children may, in the spirit of gratitude and love, reiterate the exclamation ‘our fathers, where are they?’ It is our glorious privilege to live in an age when the elements of our terrestrial abode are rendered subservient to the most stupendous operations. The works of men’s hands appear as if endowed with intelligence; the heated steam subverts the power of the fleetest steed, and the facilities of traversing the earth and seas, are like the airy flights of the feathered tribe. But oh! humbling consideration, death triumphs over the frail nature of man; our life is but a continued miracle, capable of being sustained only by the hand of that omnipotent being whom we adore as the ‘former of our bodies, and the father of our spirits.’ All must bow to the awful summons, and quit this earthly tabernacle; the last remains of mortality are consigned to the silent tomb to mingle with the parent dust.